Men are terrible at figuring out if a woman is interested and if he has any doubts at all, chances are he will NEVER make the first move on you.
We hate being rejected. Nothing is worse than going in the first kiss. Trust me it takes a lot of balls and assumptions on our part, only to be turned down. It's cold hard defeat and it hurts like a son of a bitch.
Whether we will admit it or show our true let down in the moment or even long after, it does affect us deeply.
Just so you know, and I know you want to, I've only been rejected for a kiss ONCE and as she pulled away from me I'm not so sure it was a rejection. Her exact words were uttered as she slithered into her car, "You're dangerous." Yep. Gave me a sly smile and that was it.
What you also must know it's NOT because I'm some stud dude who can get any woman I want, when and if I feel like kissing her. That couldn't be further from the truth. 😉
The explanation reveals so much about men it's scary.
You see it's because I avoided the first kiss until it was so absolutely definite it was going to happen OR I'd tease her just enough she would have no choice but to kiss me FIRST... if she was that interested. ( Well before because I will admit things have changed for me over the years.)
That means, as it does for so many other guys, if we don't meet a woman who isn't a little aggressive OR isn't clear enough, it's less likely to happen.
Oh and if you're wondering there are ways to be less subtle without driving your lips on us. You can hold our hand. That's a clear sign and unless the guy's a complete idiot or scared he's a terrible kisser, or actually is a bad kisser, sooner or later he'll make the move. More tips to come below but you're not allowed to just skip to them. :p
But all that's assuming you're on a date with a guy because unless you ARE on a date, he's going to need more than just a flirty smile, a connection, and some average conversations before he's entirely sure it's okay to make the first move.
If you're NOT casually dating a guy, let's say you just have hung out once in a while, maybe with some friends, maybe you've gone for a few walks or talk to him at work, or something where a kiss would be highly inappropriate or just plain creepy or worse, I would expect a lot of men to take way too long to make the first move. Especially the shy guys.
Let me be clear about this... I'm NOT defending men.
In fact I teach guys to stop waiting or looking for all your signals and start owning up to being a guy and to focus on creating the attraction. Well I try at least 🙂
I say it's best to risk it BEFORE she gets bored or confused or hooks up with some other guy who isn't waiting for your lips to come close enough.
What I am saying is:
Unless you're overly clear you want that first move to happen (even on some dates) or unless you do a few things differently around the shy less aware guys, you might find yourself waiting and waiting and waiting and you could easily miss a few less obvious guys who ARE interesting in you.
And some of those guys are VERY confident in many areas of their life, just not when it comes to women.
Here are a few tips which will help you let a guy know you're not going to reject him and will tell him "Kiss me ya dummy before I think you're not interested because I can't guarantee I won't be more nervous the longer you wait, and you'll miss your chance." ( Also so you can avoid making the first move yourself since I know so many of you are against doing that.)
It's already mentioned the hand holding thing.
It doesn't have to be even actually walking in the park all romantic style with the hand holding thing. Grab his hand. Notice something about it or him. Tell him and then give it back to him.
Eye contact. Look in his eyes softly. Lean in a little. Brush something off his shoulder that doesn't exist. As you pull back, lightly bite your upper lip and then pull back entirely.
"Believe it or not one of the first thing a guy notices on a woman is her eyes." The Top Ten Things That Guys Are Attracted To
Compliment his smile. Compliment something about him which reveals something sexy. Remember when you use HIS version of attraction (sight) on him he GETS the picture and automatically assumes you want him. 🙂 Cool right?
Pop his personal bubble more than once and linger there for a while. That means, without touching him, get close enough that he can smell you (hopefully you have something lovely on) , once you're there for a short time, accidentally bump him on the way out.
Oh yeah, if I've failed to mention it, avoid doing these things to guys you just want to just be friends with or are not interested because they WILL get the wrong idea.
Laugh at his jokes but then tell him he's not funny.
Tell him his zipper is down and make him look. Do something which is a little too flirty and suggest an innuendo BUT do not give in or admit it. Yes, this is counter intuitive but you still want to challenge him a little.
If you're texting him, just after you bust his ass about something, end it with... "Mwah! :D"
While he's talking to you, put on some Chapstick, fix your lipstick, pick something which doesn't have to actually be on your finger, anything which draws his attention to your lips.
Like above, you want to challenge him BUT also you want to get his attention up enough.
"If you know how to tease a man right, follow the guidelines above, AND he has to work just a little harder for you over some “other” women in his life… getting more attention won’t be a problem at all." How To Get His Attention Without Looking Desperate or Scaring Him Away
It's my theory if you can get him a little horny, tease him just enough, challenge him to step up, do a few things I've mentioned, not only does he have to get the picture but also the dick in his pants might override his brain just long enough for him to risk the rejection.
We all hear how some guys only think with their dicks, well then why not use that to your advantage?
That way you don't have to make the first move yourself and if it's done in the right place a few times, somewhere his dick won't think it's going any further, you won't have to worry about his "stupid side" getting the wrong idea.
Okay no more tips today on getting a guy to make the first move on you before the years slip by because the longer he waits, the harder it gets for him.
I believe the common theme above is to make sure you break the touch barrier, draw attention to your lips, compliment him a little, and throw in some clever innuendos. IF he still doesn't get it then he either doesn't want it or is totally clueless.