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Why Do Guys…?

About Peter White

Peter White Why Do Guys

For those of you who don't know me personally or who haven't had the pleasure of getting to know me...

I'm Pete.

The name was given to me as a tribute to my uncle. A man who made the ultimate sacrifice and someone who honestly, I could never live up to.

Don't get me wrong, it has definitely NOT stopped me from trying.

He may have died saving many lives and I can pick up where he left off.

Only in my own way.

Day one of my existence nothing was left untouched. My imagination has let me create but my logic driven math and science curiosity had me pick apart anything and everything which crossed my path.

It's not surprising when women came into my life sexually I clung to attraction and all that (it) appears to make us do.

Addictive personalities BE warned...

Attraction can feel like the most wonderful drug in the world.

It's free, abundant, and you can find it practically anywhere you choose to look.

BUT just like any other drug, the side effects can be lethal.

In the world of attraction, the destruction of our lives starts with letting it lead us blindly.

Stuck in the future begging for the past to change.

Like it did to me when I first started doing my typical scientific "research" across the border to the feminine side.

The "probably" important but most definitely "pain in the ass" thing about instant love or attraction, call it whatever you want, is when it is left to its own.

When it's not given something back, when it's not nurtured from the outside...

Well it becomes an annoying little prick bent on causing acts of desperation, deprivation, and the occasional constipation only set free to discover "other" things to keep us busy and sane.

I'm sorry... I get carried away sometimes. You'll enjoy my passion though, it can be a lot of fun.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah so women, well they were all I could think about it.

I loved music but I practiced and wrote hoping she would notice. She, meaning any girl I was, yep you guessed it, attracted to but was sort of predetermined to never have.

How very sad, isn't it?

Everything I did was clearly had "women" behind it whether it was negative OR positive.

How did I walk? Well like I was sexually deprived.

How did I run? Like I was chasing her.

How did I play? First to "draw them in" to play with me, then to avoid the pain and hurt. To decapitate my heart and focus merely on my soul.

One fateful day it kind of all blew up in my face.

As much as it could since being one of the "good guys" and staying out of any real trouble was one of the skills I thought were specific to me, so I mastered at getting by with.

Realizing my fate was set out on a lonely road, not knowing what it felt like to sleep with lots of different women, not knowing what it felt like to be loved as more than just some crazy smart friend, not knowing the touch, kiss, or caress upon me from a deeply moved and my attractive woman...

Can you see it now?

Being the curious type, stubborn, too smart and aware of way too much shit, whereas attraction led me I had decided to start leading it.

I took all my skills, my passion, embarked on new risks, brought myself up and out to discover what is beneath it all. What makes it tick. How it works.

And better yet - to finally use the things which made me, me, and finally venture to the other side.

For real.

No more dreaming of the future. No more playing in the past.

Not leaving all other addictions aside, strange as it seems, what caused me to focus so much of my life on, the pretty females adorned or not, I'm also convinced was what caused the root of my many failures to enjoy more than just their presence.

Put another way so I can understand what the hell I'm talking about,

I grabbed my greatest weaknesses, the life which revolved around women, and turned it inward.

Sure my life would still be with men and women and relationships and attraction but instead of being stuck on the wheel going round and round - I got off the ride and learned how to run it myself.

It's actually easier than most people will let them selves believe because...

I'm no genius.

I'm not a prolific prophet or some super analyst which in a hundred years will still be looked upon.

I'm just an ordinary man who chooses to stay aware and present. To see things from a most magnificent view.

It's all easy because I will never let myself forget the one "thing" I was lucky to be born with, which was that I was born a man.

Whatever faith you choose to believe, whatever causes the beginning or end for you, whichever side you're born on and look for in another, man or woman, man and man, woman and woman, back to woman and man...

Men are born with an instinct to survive and procreate.

They are also given the capacity to learn and grow and feel, and develop from a sometimes hidden instinctual language.

Women are also born with an instinct to survive and procreate.

Slightly different from men but the goal is the same.

They are also given the capacity to learn, grow, feel, and develop on their own set of instinctual blueprints.

It doesn't go without saying.

Whether you are born as a man or woman - your counterpart, in all its unique outwardly differences, was so eloquently constructed for YOU to better achieve some form of survival and procreation.

Enjoying the ride, living a healthy balanced lifestyle, being lucky enough at the right time... just finding your own path of happiness with as little suffering as possible - well that's the hard part.

That's the real "catch" of it all.

Back to me - where the focus should be on this page. 🙂

Well I've created this all.

Not from scratch.

I'm as real as I think I am. I live a quiet life although some would argue with me on that one.

I get to look at things from over here - I get to see things from both sides - With my best ability, mostly....

I get to reveal to you some things about men you either didn't know or want to know or use intelligently to help you understand the actions of guys.

On the other side, the men who read my words, who may follow my advice or ignore it, or use it sparingly and questionably which is what I ask from everyone...

I get to tell them about you.


Again, for those of you who don't know... I'm Pete.

I'll let you have every reason to hate me but you'll find every reason to love me too.

Yet, perhaps we should keep our little affair a business arrangement. 😉

I'm determined, and just stubborn and opinionated enough to tell you HOW I see it... from a male's point of view.

No matter what the cost.

I'll be candid - I'm not sure if I have any control over getting you a certain man, having them fall madly in love with you, or promising you 8 secret ways to have men begging for you... for now I suggest you look elsewhere.

Preferably the people I turn to and have used successfully because that is what helps me the most to keep the ride moving.


Your stories WILL be used to help guys communicate themselves better to you. But within reason. We can get into that more on the other side.

Here's to a great relationship - you be honest with me and I'll do the same for you.

Thanks for all your support and as always, the best of luck to you...


(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
38 comments… add one
  • Jordan

    Hi I was wondering if you would mind helping me?
    I have had a crush on this guy for a little while. Occasionally we will trade looks, if you could call it that. At a event the other night, I caught him staring directly at me, to which he turned and looked away pretty fast.
    Later that evening, I introduced myself. We shook hands and he went back to his friends.
    My questions are if I’m just reading into this or does he maybe have slight interest in me. My other question is what I could do to get him to talk to me a little more. We’re still getting to know each other really, so I understand actually talking more would be beneficial. Other than that what could I do?
    Thank you so much!

  • Maggie

    So, I like this boy in one of my classes. I love his style, looks and smile. We don’t talk. I am the one who usually stares at him first all through out class, and occasionally and lately, i have caught him also looking at me. But i don’t know what it means because he’s not constantly staring at me. He only stares if i say or do something and i look over in his direction to see if he is looking at me; and sometimes he is looking at me when i look, but I either look away, or he does. So my question is what do you think this means,and what i should do . Thank you and i hope this wasn’t confusing.

  • Yasmine

    Hi Pete – So I’ve read through these posts and have one question. Why can’t men just be honest/direct on what they do or do not want? Feelings could potentially be hurt, but I would hope that even by telling the guy to be brutally honest with me vs keeping me hanging & wondering what is going on would be ideal as it would add some perspective if the relationship is going anywhere.

    Just curious.

  • soconfused

    You are fascinating.
    I need you’re advice please.
    I have been going to this shop. There is a very attractive man I like he is very polite to me. He continues to stare at me but when I look at him he looks away. Then a few seconds later looks at me again. I can feel the tension between us well I think I do. I think he likes me. When we talk it’s so intense when I look at him straight in the eyes. He often looks away.
    I had to go back the next day I forgot something and he seemed so please to see me he said well hello you’re back. The look he gave me made my feet melt and my heart race.
    He gave me something for free that day and so I thought I would return the favour. I gave him a box of chocolates to say thank you for the free gift. I didn’t mean anything buy it. I explained I appreciate the small things so thank you very much.
    He replied that’s just what we do?????
    OK so felt my gut drop. Maybe he is just nice to everyone. I quickly left.
    It took me a week to return but he was busy with a male customer and having a chat. He quickly glanced my way but when I tried to smile he just kept on chatting. Did I freak him out by giving him chocolates. He stares at me so intensely it’s an amazing feeling. But he’s been avoiding me but still staring.
    This has been going on for three months.
    Is he just playing games with me???? I’m so confused.
    I don’t know how to ask him why he stares.. or not mention it at all. ?????????

    • Peter White

      Thank you. Well unfortunately you’re going to meet guys who don’t know how to go from eye contact to talking to “something more” which in your case would be exchanging contact information. They will let the interactions go on and on and never take the next step for lots of reasons.

      Now I’m not entirely sure if this is the case here because I’m not there. I don’t know him.

      Yes, the gift was rather odd from a male’s point of view. It just doesn’t happen in our world. I don’t think it hurt your chances but definitely added a little awkwardness to the interaction.

      But it’s not the end of the world, right?

      Okay – don’t ever ASK a guy why he’s staring. That would make things even more awkward.

      Of course he’s probably nice to everyone. It IS his job after all. But why go thinking there’s nothing going on just because of that when you don’t know. SO just don’t go there.

      I highly doubt he’s playing you aside from him being nice as being a part of his job. What game would he be playing? What would he hope to gain from it, besides more chocolates, right?

      Your problem can be easily solved.

      No more confusion. Sound good? The answer is quite simple:

      TALK to him. Keep the conversation going. Give him the opportunity to DO something.

      While you’re talking to him – leave him hanging just a little. Make him work for more.

      I know – sounds like I’m asking you to play hard to get, doesn’t it?

      Well sort of – my point is, you don’t have to play hard to get – that becomes absurd at this point – BUT you DO have to give him every opportunity to take the next step.

      IF he doesn’t take the next step – you’re done with it.

      Stare at him all you want – treat him like eye candy – check out his butt – whatever – and just leave it at that.

      IF he won’t go forward with you – then (besides playing little keep away games with him or trying to convince him) he either can’t or doesn’t want to AND that you should mean NOTHING to you. Because he may seem great but you don’t know the real him at all. You can’t put so much emphasis on your interactions with one guy you don’t really even know.

      Hell – he could’ve even be gay for all you now. THAT might not be true but it certainly would explain a lot, wouldn’t it? But it really doesn’t matter.

      You have a few choices:

      Take charge and ask to exchange info with you and risk either rejection or not.

      You can do talk to him and give him lots of opportunities to take the next step and if he doesn’t – move on. It’s over. Don’t take it personal.

      You could also play some flirty games with him and ALWAYS leave him wanting more, hoping it will push him to ask for your number or some way to contact you again.

      No matter what you choose – trust – it WILL BE OKAY.

      All the best,

  • Lana

    Hi Pete, I wish for your advice.

    I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. Things were really great in the beginning, we both tried very hard to help each other through it. He gives me surprises, I give him surprises and we both made each other feel really loved. Our first holiday together I noticed that he checkout girls in a very uncomfortable way, like an owl that can turn its head 270 degrees, his eyes just followed the girl to where she walk and when he is done with her, his eyes moved on the the next girl. I am quite attractive and i do get stares from guys so I don’t think I’m ugly but the way he stares at them made me felt undesirable and unattractive. I spoke to him many times about it in a nice way. He tried at first to look lesser but after that back to full force again.

    We usually have arguments about things, some involves me crying but we manage to muggle through it. Lately i noticed that he has not been loving/warm, I don’t get kisses/hugs anymore, he doesn’t say he loves/miss me. When i tell him im feeling cold he ignores me and doesn’t offer his jacket, when he does he throws it on me (not sincere about offering). It does not feel at all like we are a couple, looks more like we are two individuals who does not know why they are here.

    When i ask him what is wrong he says nothing is wrong and i am overthinking things. I noticed a drastic change in his behavior, He’s on his phone all the time playing Solitaire and we only see each other once a month and he knows i hate that, his forehead wrinkles up when i answer the wrong thing and i will get a agitated Nooo. We part ways before i went it to the departure hall at the airport, he appeared later at my boarding hall to say goodbye. Sometimes it looks like he cares but other times looks like he is in a relationship with himself. Im confused with the mixed actions.

    I guess i did made the mistake of pushing too hard to find out what is wrong and i even push and asked if he wanted this relationship but I finally stop asking. I don’t know if he is bothered by something but don’t know how to tell me or he just find this relationship difficult but don’t know how to end it.
    I tried to give him space, give him time, stop badgering him about what is going on, tried to be more nice but nothing seems to be work. He is unresponsive.

    I really do want us to work but it cant be everything my fault or falls on me to fix it but im willing to listen to advice on what i can really do to help us get pass this gap. I know us girls can be master of overthinkers but it’s not only the thinking, I can observe from our interactions, connections, something is really off. We are back in our own country but still talk on Whatsapp.

    I don’t know where else to turn to, I’m sad and worried all the time and I don’t sleep well. Can you pls help me?

  • Spanishgurl

    Hello Pete! Great Job!
    I would like your opinion about a subject that puzzles me so much…. I have a boyfriend for 5 years and he is great. For the last year we are living in a distance (we meet at weekends) and even though we are great together sometimes when he has troubles with his work he is getting isolated and in a bad mood and that lasts for days…weeks. I never liked anyone else all these years or got my attention. The problem is that there is a guy in my work that flirts me so much. He is gazing at me and smiles, teases me all the time, says things like we are very sensual creatures from the country I come from, he is coming to check on my computer screen and his head is 15 cm from mine, he started touching me, he blocks my way for fun and now he is also doing whatever I ask him (while on the past he didnt help anyone). I heard that he used to have a girlfriend last year but we dont know if he still has. The problem is that he is not asking me my phone number or he doesnt make a move. He just messed up my mind… I am thinking of him the whole day and I really want him physically. He makes me laugh so much and on the other side I feel so horrible that I feel all these things because I respect my boyfriend and I would never cheat on him. I would prefer break up with him and not to cheat. But he is my first relationship and I am his and we lived so many things together and we still love so much each other, but even if I explained him how much this behavior makes me tired he keep on doing that.. and on the other hand that guy… I feel Ill get crazy… I dont know what to do…I only care why he is not asking me my number and if he likes me and if I can so him my passion. He never says anything for a girlfriend… what can I do with that messedup situation??

    Thank you for your time!

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