You know without any doubt in your mind - men are attracted to appearances or the look of a woman (how hot she is) but you've learned to live with it and accept it UNTIL...
The frustration you've been putting aside goes off the chart and becomes extremely hard to hold back when you see HER and the great guy she's got her arms around. He's there to grant her every wish and treats her like a goddess.
Your thoughts go off the chart and anger settles in.
She's not at all that attractive! Not at least by your standards and most guys you know, would definitely agree with you.
Or maybe she is slightly attractive but that makeup, the hair, the "choice" of style... well you're getting the picture here!
So what's the deal here?
IF guys are only into looks and physical beauty, what do those women have which helped them land these great guys?
They're not bad women so it's not like you can blame it on his self-esteem or lack of confidence. She's actually a great person.
What is she "doing" to him?
Can we question the whole theory that men are only into looks and how they merely settle for less based on reasons only certain may know about or even understand?
The answer is obviously not that simple. Relationships and dating is never black and white. There's not one perfectly correct answer or solution.
We're dealing with humans and our complicated brains as we struggle figuring out the phycology of it all.
Let's argue the point now and in the future but for today, I'd like to introduce to you a few clever ways to GET into a man's HEART which has NOTHING to do with BEAUTY.
This is what men positively and sexually to and builds their natural attraction. Quick easy solutions to make him feel more attracted to you and not just your body.
Men are somewhat starved for attention from a woman.
They WANT to be noticed.
They WANT to feel like what they are doing is working.
If they don't get the feedback they're looking for they lose interest quickly and move on to find a woman who will give them the response they want.
Although admittingly, some (type twos) will often keep trying and failing continually despite it all but, they're still searching for the same thing. They just don't "get it".
Okay, I've heard it before.
You've given a man plenty of attention and it didn't work out.
You've tried it and it felt fake having to smile and laugh at his bad jokes or feign interest in his life and words when a lot of what he was saying, was not interesting at all.
The truth is, you did it or are doing it wrong and the woman I mentioned above, the not so pretty one with that great guy, well she is doing it right.
She is "activating" many emotions inside him he can connect with on a deeper level.
There are many ways to do this and I'll show you a few today.
The posts below will also show you exactly how it's done. I love the advice in them because, and this is coming from a man who is in touch with all this stuff, they speak the truth.
Let's get on with it...
NUMBER ONE: Begin Noticing More.
Notice something on him or about his appearance.
Comment on it nicely and if it's appropriate, gently touch that area.
He needs to feel, smell, and experience it fully. It's not enough just to compliment him.
It's not enough to just pick a random piece. Make sure you have a genuine connection to it or else it WILL feel fake to you.
And yes it's okay to bust his ass with some light-hearted humor.
"Forming a deeper connection with him.
If and when a guy feels a connection with you that's above and beyond anything he's felt before, he's less likely to want to give that up for anything.
We (us real men) put a high priority on connecting with a woman in this way."
That's the great part - it doesn't even have to overly nice. Noticing is the key and not the actual object. Just make sure it's personally his or something he connects with on a more personable level.
The key here is men WANT to be noticed by you, one way or another.
So if you're the one picking out something unique or even fun about him - you'll be the one he remembers the most.
NUMBER TWO: Appealing to his Possessive Trait.
Men have this "possessive" trait. Even if they don't literally have something, they want it or they want to know it's theirs.
You can use this to your advantage, physically and mentally.
Just remember, with men you have to make sure you cover both angles or he might not get the picture.
So how do you encourage his possessive nature so it is directed at you?
It's so simple you're going to love it.
Wherever you go leave a piece of yourself with him.
It can be anything small. I'll let you fill in the details but I will back it up with my experience with women. Mind you this is completely strange but to men, it's just how we think.
I once went out with a girl who needed a little help with her hair. It went everywhere. It was so thin and she'd (for lack of a better term) shed a lot.
A few days later I was driving to work and the sun was shining in the passenger seat and there they were, a few strands of her hair trying to hold on to the seat as the wind rushed through the car.
I remembered that night and everything that went on. I remember how much fun we had. I remembered her, smiled, and actually felt a little more connected to her.
What I was feeling was my "possessive nature" and connecting it to a feeling about her.
Now it wasn't about me keeping a lock of her hair. That's just plain weird if you ask me. So I'm not asking you to place random hair strands on him.
I'm telling you how us men, when we possess a piece of a woman we shared something with, are more likely to feel attracted to and want to see again.
It literally keeps you, because Willie Nelson kicks ass - "Always On Our Mind."
The women who have left a longer-lasting impression on me were the ones who disregarded the typical rules of dating and gave me something to remember beyond the obvious.
Once it was a cheap plastic ring we won at a carnival.
Once it was a head pillow bathed in her perfume. (Haha! Yeah she was pretty smart if you ask me. It was a long distance kind of thing.)
Once it was a simple note she wrote on a napkin that reminded me of how she beat me at tic-tac-toe that evening.
I still swear she cheated ever time. Don't ask me how, but she definitely cheated!!!
Wherever you go, always let him know you're with him.
This one is a little more difficult but you're a smart woman so you'll have no problem with it.
It's more difficult because you do not want to come off clingy or needy. There's a certain balance you must achieve.
But, when you do it right becomes an invaluable tool in getting and keeping any man interested in you.
The mental "possessiveness" men feel is enhanced simply by you, making a small discreet effort to leave his side and then letting him see he's with you specifically and no one else.
Let's say you're on a date and you excuse yourself for a minute. It's going to happen but most of you just walk away and we're stuck there having to preoccupy ourselves.
What you do is physically touch his shoulder or arm as you walk away and squeeze just a little. Trust me he'll be thinking about that the entire time you're gone.
Turn and look at him and if he's looking your way - smile softly.
You're reminding him of what he's going to miss you while you're gone and you're creating a mental note in his head that you're with him.
And he relates the physical "touching" part to that moment for a lot longer than you might believe.
Trust me on this...
Men hold on to feelings for a really, really, really long time and I think it's about time you use our stubbornness to your advantage.
Here's another example.
When you're at a party and you separate, make casual eye contact with him.
Let him know by making a funny face or smiling at him that you've got his back.
It's a lot like flirting with him but done from far away so you have to rely on facial or body expressions to say everything.
Again remember, a man NEEDS a physical and a mental connection to fully experience what is going on or it just might fly by his radar or better known as "man-dar."
The whole point is to keep him slightly aware you're not just "passer by's."
You're there with him no matter what else is going around you. Just don't pester him about it or make it overly obvious to everyone around you.
Share that moment with him and him only because that is what he needs to feel...
A personal connection which goes beyond whatever the situation is.
To avoid coming off clingy or needy, be discreet and use sparingly. Be subtle and it will always come off as cute and attractive.
NUMBER 3: Show Real Genuine Interest.
Interest! Interest! Interest!
I'm talking a real genuine interest in not just the facts behind the man.
Learn to get to the bottom of who he is.
Skip past the superficial.
Avoid the interview questions and learn to use your own experiences to open him up.
If you can get a guy to share a "secret" with you, you've connected with him on a level he'll never forget and you'll separate yourself from the "other" women who are only interested in what he wants to know about her.
The easiest way to do this is to share something yourself.
Keep the conversation light-hearted but dig deep.
Tell him something about yourself which you think most men don't want to know (Hint: Stay away from the total depressive stories.)
Then immediately turn it on him.
Let him know and understand it's now HIS turn to share.
Even if you have to resort to playing truth or dare just do SOMETHING a little different which leads to you wanting to know more about him than what he does for a living.
You see most women out there get stuck believing men are hard-coded and unemotional.
But we're not.
We just want to feel safe giving out information which can make it tricky to get it out of us.
But you can do it. I know you can.
The women who have left a lasting impression on me asked me things creatively.
Then they listened intently.
They loved to hear me talk about my REAL self and there was nothing more than I wanted to share what I could with them.
The women who attracted me are the ones who didn't just ask what my favorite color was, they sincerely wanted to know exactly when and why, it became my color.
I can guarantee you if you show men a genuine interest in something beyond the typical "man" stuff without prying or getting too deep, you'll have found a man who wants to spend more time with you...
Because you become the one woman who understands him better than any other woman out there.
You don't do it by demanding information or prying into his personal life.
The trick here is to first make him feel safe enough to share and then guiding him along to sharing something personal with you.
If it's not a give and take (ask) - you won't get anything.
The real truth about men can give you insight which is invaluable in attracting and keeping men close to you.
It's about understanding why we are who we are and using it to your advantage.
I'm urging you to try out my simple techniques above and if they work for you, I want to hear about it below.
Are men really only into looks and if so, why do they settle for less? Are they actually settling? Attractive is subjective but attraction is not so where does that all fit in?