You can not MAKE a guy miss you without playing games with his heart and expect results that won't eventually lead to a relationship disaster or a dating nightmare.
However, there are many things you can do which will increase his DESIRE for you so that when you're not close by his side, he will definitely MISS BEING with you.
I get a lot of visitors at why do guys using this exact searched question,
"How do I MAKE a guy miss me?"
I don't like the wording of it and I definitely don't like knowing where it will lead to because the word MAKE predicts some form of game is going to be played.
All that aside, if you just happen to choose a word which doesn't necessarily fit your intent then it's all good but for the rest of you, before we go any further I need you to answer a few questions and you'll see later how your answers will do more for you than just up a man's desire for you.
Why DO you want him to miss you?
- Do you feel that he's not being (or is no longer) attentive to your needs?
- Do you believe he's now taking you for granted?
- Do you believe if he misses you more he'll come around often? Maybe he'll pay more attention to you? He won't just contact you when he's looking for sex or a casual get-together which might lead to sex?
- Do you think if he starts missing you, it will help "capture his heart" and get (or force him) to finally commit to you?
- Do you want to make him so sad when he's not with you that he'll begin to feel his happiness depends on you which could get him to come around or contact you more often and eventually push him to commit to something more long-term with you?
- Do you believe or make the connection that when a man is "missing you", it is definitive proof he likes you and is interested in something more with you?
Let's investigate how all people in general do miss something and what must be done for it to happen.
First they must have it, right?
It's impossible to "miss" something you've never had. You might want it but missing it would not be the word or feeling to describe it.
The answer is simple:
Give them what they want or need and then take it away.
If you want someone to miss it even more, make them WORK for it, make it a real challenge, and then take it away or make it extremely difficult to get back.
Shower him with attention, boost his Ego, build him up and then all of a sudden stop doing it. If he started to rely on it, expect it, and loved getting all the attention, then he's going to miss it.
You could text him sweet things everyday and then all of a sudden, don't even send him a "Hello" or a "how are you doing?"
It may take a few days for him to notice you've stopped messaging but eventually he will and if he started to enjoy getting them plus relied on them to help him get through his day, he'll begin to miss it all.
Well sort of because (this is the part that eventually leads to disaster or the wrong results) ...
He'll miss the ATTENTION more than the PERSON giving it.
AND if you're even considering for a moment of just ignoring him, then please read this first:
With all that said...
So what IS the best way to GET him to miss being with you so he'll want to be around you more often and step up his own game of chasing you?
Three words says it all and will always do the trick.
Attraction, Connection, and Devotion.
It actually does matter how the attraction is created but we're not going there today, however - for "missing you" purposes it MUST be there.
If a man is not in some way physically attracted to you he won't be thinking about you enough to make it happen and that's not a good thing.
I'm not a complete "typical" male but I can tell you honestly I've NEVER thought hard about wanting or desiring to be with a woman I wasn't physically attracted to when she wasn't around or somewhat instantly available to me.
Here's some unfiltered raw truth (posted here at why do guys) to help you understand a man's physical attraction and create it too:
A man and a woman that are separated but joined together by an imaginary but felt force can be said to have this "connection" and it is non-negotiable if one is to miss another.
How two people are connected only matters in how things play out but if you're interested in something more than a friendship, it's obvious there must be an INTIMATE connection between you and him.
The feelings of connection are SHARED and often represent something private and deeper than just common interests and goals.
It's mostly these "shared" pieces or moments when not made easily accessible or available heightens the feelings of MISSING something (attraction, intimacy, etc...) or someone like you.
Connecting to a man's heart is a big topic around here so I'll try and narrow it down to just a few articles to help you create the connection:
Defined as a "love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause" devotion must not be constricted to one direction.
Think multi-dimensional here.
Devoted to yourself. Devoted to your activities. Devoted to the cause of living your life with purpose.
When you can say that about yourself AND another is even slightly devoted to you...
YOU WILL DEFINITELY BE MISSED when you're not around.
Devotion advice is a tough one to cover because it has so many directions it can go. The articles linked below contain some form of "living your life with purpose" outside of him or men in general because I feel your main focus should be there:
A little more on this devotion to yourself.
The truth is obvious and little annoying when you think about it.
If you're always there for a guy, if you're always giving up your time for his, if at any given time he can contact you and he knows he'll get an easy quick response, if he knows what you're doing all the time...
You're not giving him any time or reason to miss you, are you?
AND as noted above, if you "play" hard to get by avoiding his calls and texts and purposely set out to ignore him hoping he'll miss you, problems will arise.
It's a fine line to walk, isn't it?
When does "devoting" yourself to you cross over to playing a game of "hide and seek" ?
The answer is simple.
Trust yourself. Trust your instincts.
Give yourself a break. It will be on your mind. You'll occasionally question yourself and your motives.
You'll find yourself asking WHY am I doing this - is it for me OR for him, and sometimes you will cross the line, sometimes you won't know the answer.
I'm giving you permission to not worry about it so much. Things do and will happen.
What you need to concern yourself with is BALANCE.
Focus on creating a balance in your life which makes you happy, stable, and productive and the rest will take care of itself.
Devote yourself to you about the same way you would like a "normal healthy-minded" man to interact with you and you'll give any guy a REAL opportunity to miss you.
AND you'll create something naturally which is an important thing avoided up until now...
Time and space.
They create the distance that allows the "missing you" part to happen.
I love the quote below.
"In order for a man to feel attracted to you and to pursue you, he has to feel “a pull” towards you.
There needs to be some tension and the actual space for him to move forward into that space.
This is what we think of as “the chase.”
And men enjoy the chase.
It makes them feel as if they are consciously choosing you and winning something they worked for."
A man will feel this pull when he's missing you and time will pass more slowly for him while he's there.
The tension will rise and so will his feelings of missing you.
When all three items above (attraction, connection, and devotion) are present and used correctly, you won't ever have to worry about him missing the attention more than you.
Alright, now that we've got all the covered, let's go back to those questions I asked of you in the beginning.
Why DO You Really Want Him To Miss You?
Knowing why can be very revealing because getting him to miss you might not be the solution to your problem and solving it in that way might make things much worse.
Do you feel that he's not being (or is no longer) attentive to your needs, as if he's not begun to take you for granted?
He seems to no longer appreciate you or what you once had together. The spark has somewhat disappeared or is dying out.
It's not like what it used to be and when you're not around, he doesn't even seem to miss you anymore.
You might be thinking IF you could get him to start missing you more, then just maybe the spark will come back.
It's possible but a closer examination reveals something else is going in situations like this and it started much earlier than you might have suspected.
A breakdown of communication.
When you first felt your needs were no longer being met, rather than casually discuss the issue, you put them away or pushed them down, AND/OR he doesn't make it easy on you to express your feelings without fear of ruining the relationship or stopping the dating process.
Therefore - getting him to miss you under these terms is NOT the solution.
This lovely, although now sadly separated for death did they part, Katie and Gay Hendricks can help you solve your communication problems:
IF you are confident it's not a communication problem and you're looking for a more "simple" solution then all you need to do is find a way to re-spark the romance or introduce some much needed sexual tension.
Getting him to miss you won't do much at all.
This guy (Brian Robbens) built a business on helping you do all that (getting the romance back) and much more:
Do you believe if he misses you more he'll come around more often for something other than sex and he'll start paying more real attention to you?
He won't just contact you when he's looking for a casual get-together which might lead to sex?
Sure, it could get him to come around but as above, what is he really missing YOU or the ATTENTION or as in this case, the SEX?
Think about what you want him to miss more AND...
Take it from a guy, it's nearly impossible to go from a mostly physical relationship into something more.
When a man is only interested in an intimate connection with you, it's not going anywhere unless something severely drastic changes for the both of you AND getting him to miss you is not going to get the job done.
Connecting with a man is important but when it's done spiritually, physically, or mentally, it's never enough to create the right kind of spark that leads somewhere.
You MUST connect with his heart.
Rori Raye explains it more clearly:
This one is a bit tricky, I will admit that when a man realizes he's missing a woman, he can start to realize how deeply he feels for her.
It can bring out the emotional response you're looking from him. It can gently nudge him in the right direction.
However, we're forced to first consider WHY he hasn't made the move up until now.
Something was holding him back and often it's those very same things or reasons which lead to much worse problems in the future and the demise of a newly founded relationship.
Read these and make sure the list is covered before you continue:
ALWAYS check all the boxes FIRST.
Do you want to make him so sad when he's not with you that he'll begin to feel his happiness depends on you?
In his search for happiness he'll come around more often which will eventually lead him to get into something more long-term with you.
I've been in this business long enough to know some things and this is a biggie:
You do NOT ever want to be with someone whose happiness is dependent solely on you.
It will destroy you from the inside out!
If he feels sad and misses you, that's one thing, but when a man's source of happiness comes from you specifically, this reliance will not only prove over-bearing to you in the future, it will eventually turn him into a guy you won't want in your life anymore.
Yes - it could work, maybe all too well, BUT will the results you're going to get you won't like at all.
Stick to three (attraction, connection, and devotion) listed above and refrain from anything that is designed to make him feel bad, sad, or dependent on you for too much of his happiness.
Do you believe or make the connection that when a man is "missing you", it is definitive proof he likes you and is interested in something more with you?
Just because someone misses something doesn't guarantee there's anything more going on. The proof you're looking for can not be simplified this far.
It's a piece, I'll give you that, but ONLY a small part of something much bigger.
I understand the investment of our time and hearts comes with big price tag and having the proof beforehand can offer some reassurance, but life and relationships are risky and sometimes, taking them is part of the process which can not always be avoided.
I'm not going to ask anyone to blindly go somewhere, just advising that when it comes to "getting a guy to miss you" as being used as a tool to figure out a truth of like or love, is not the right way and often gives false readings anyways because just by doing so, you alter the outcome.
The long awaited conclusion...
It's sad when we miss something or someone, isn't it?
The longing it creates. The apprehension sorely felt. The anxiety that builds as time passes away.
The questions that pop in our heads when we begin to feel like we may never get to see someone again or experience another time together we shared in the past.
Missing someone can turn into an emotional nightmare and the worst kind, the having to be awake through it.
It's easy to see this angle of attack because it's wide open and can be very revealing because it is such a human emotional hot button anyone can press for instant results.
BUT is it always the right thing to do or try?
When does it become just another game?
Where's the line that separates it from naturally occurring because a life is being lived to it becoming something that will eventually lead to unwanted results?
These questions I've proposed need to be answered BEFORE a decision is made to "make" or "get" a guy to miss you.
Only after can the focus be shifted on the big three above which I firmly believe naturally creates a desire for the person who will be missed more than the "attention" or "sex".
An emotional response triggered by an outside stimulus which is beyond direct control.
When it's there and not easily acted upon, the source of the stimulus will be missed enough to make someone want to go and get it.
The bond which is created when two people share and communicate on a level beyond simple social exchanges.
When it can not longer be explored and/or feels broken, it will be missed and sought out.
A "love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause" which is not confined to an outside source.
The third and final piece.
When one is devoted to the cause of one's self and another is devoted to that person, not being able to show or enjoy guarantees an overwhelming feeling that something is missing and that can be you.
Opening Image Credit:
Lonely man missing you by Mary Taylor from Pexels