Written By Slade Shaw - Creator of Why Men Pull Away.
Women want a man to be completely head-over-heels crazy about them, but often go about it the wrong way.
In fact, a lot of them might do things that push him away instead of pull him in.
The first mistake women make is thinking of men as evolved...
While we as a species are quite evolved, we still hang onto many of our primitive instincts.
Those instincts include courtship.
So you need to look at men at a basic level and consider what makes them tick.
Men are hunters. They love games and challenges. They love winning more than anything.
A man loves to swoop in and save the day. He wants to be a hero.
Take your all-time favorite “guy action” movie...and then take out all of the obstacles.
Pretend that Luke Skywalker waltzed right into the Death Star, had a talk with his dad and easily turned Darth Vader back to the good side.
Then, together, they made the galaxy a safe place.
Imagine if he took care of everything in one movie...it would flop.
Men dream of overcoming impossible odds and having a hero story to tell.
It’s the same with dating and falling in love.
Men want to win a woman that they feel is out of their reach.
They want a real prize.
You can use that knowledge to reel him in and make him crazy about you, using the six tricks I’ll share here.
And here’s the big secret:
It’s about how you make him feel.
So even if these tricks sound weird, they work! They make men intrigued, excited, and crazy about you.
Trick # 1: Get his attention - I don’t need you...but I might want you.
Picture yourself walking by a store window with a trendy new bag.
You like the bag. It’s pretty and your girlfriends will be jealous. So you pause and consider, and then slowly move on.
You decide to window shop a bit while thinking about it.
You could get the bag. You might get the bag. But you don’t need it, so it’d just be something to make you happy.
If you can take this attitude with dating, men will flock to you.
(And it works wonders in a relationship too!)
You can do this with a lingering glance in a coffee shop. Meet his gaze and give him a slight smile before you look away.
He’s curious, but you ignore him.
It’s only right before you leave that you give him a flirty look.
Okay, so he gets your number. You text a little. But of course you don’t go overboard and answer everything right away.
You talk for a while and make it to the dating stage.
He asks you if you’re seeing anyone else. You laugh and tell him, “I can’t tell you that this early!”
You tease and flirt more than you share, which intrigues him all the more.
You like him. You might want a second date. You might not. You’ll have to think about it and let him know.
Basically, don’t act or talk like he’s your only option, and that you’re available any time to talk or meet.
Don’t even act like you need a relationship right now.
Treat it like this is fun, you’re enjoying yourself, and you might let it go further...but don’t tell him that!
When you don’t need him...and act like a prize...he’ll chase you.
When you’re in a relationship, he’ll be even more attracted to you if he knows that you choose to be in it.
This is different from being in a relationship out of some desperate need to have someone in your life.
Trick #2: Throw him a curve ball.
Men have a little trick they use on women. Now it’s your turn to benefit from it!
A man will give you a compliment, but it’s underhanded.
A few examples include:
- That’s a nice dress but it’s too loose. (or long, or flowery, etc.)
- You look good in that shirt but the color isn’t that great.
- I don’t normally talk to the librarian type, but you’re an exception.
Sometimes they even use subtle insults when picking women up.
Men call this tactic “negging” and use it to undermine a woman’s confidence so she’ll want his approval more.
They use it when they meet women to raise their chances of getting her into bed.
Wow, sounds mean, right?
So let’s change it up a bit. You don’t have to be mean, but let’s say you find ways to tease him a little.
It’s similar to letting him know that you don’t need him.
Even more important, you’re showing that he’ll have to work to impress you and win you over.
So you’re upping the challenge factor, which men love!
A simple example is saying, “Ohhh...you’re the business type. Well, I guess I can talk for a few.”
Or, “You think you can get a second date that easy?”
“Well, I could tell you, but you haven’t been sweet enough yet.” (This tells him outright that you’re setting the bar higher!)
“I don’t know about dating someone who dresses so casual...”
You can use this in a relationship too.
Now, you don’t want to trample on his male ego, but try playing “the mean girl” and see how men go crazy over you.
Men will desire you because you stand up for yourself and act like a prize.
Trick #3: Reverse Psychology.
Why are you dating? To find a great guy and have a relationship.
In theory, so are men.
So why do men run away when it doesn’t seem like fun anymore?
They sense a trap. Men in particular don’t like to be roped into things unless it’s their idea.
Men want to find a partner, but they get jumpy when it feels like you’re cornering them, caging them, or laying claim.
Really, this concept applies to men for most of their lives. Even after 15 years of marriage, a man might feel like he’s losing his freedom.
He’ll want his shop or garage, or his night with the guys, or whatever he does to feel “free”.
How do you overcome this?
Easy. Reverse psychology. Who said you were looking for a relationship? Maybe you aren’t ready for commitment.
- “Long distance is hard. I might not be ready for that.”
- “Being exclusive is a big step. Maybe we could talk about it later on.”
Show interest in him but say you’re not interested in a serious relationship right now.
He’ll want to change your mind.
Basically, turn the tables on him. He thought you were trying to pull him in, and suddenly he’s free-falling.
He’ll realize that he’s the one who wants you more.
He’ll be crazy about you.
This is why men like “mean girls” and chase women who turn them down, dump them, and stand them up.
Doing those things makes you more desirable.
(Side note: Don’t use this to get a man to propose. If you mention you’re not interested in marriage, hoping to get him interested, it’s likely to backfire. That’s a huge step so it’s something to discuss honestly.)
Acting like you’re not interested in a relationship might seem mean.
Think about it this way:
Is it mean to make a game that men love? That makes them go crazy over you?
Tiffany (not her real name) went on a date and found her friend Aaron attractive. Yet, she wasn’t sure if she really liked him.
He asked her if she was seeing other people, and she honestly answered yes.
Aaron pursued her like crazy. They did get together, but Tiffany broke up with him.
He was devastated and kept chasing her. They got together again...and broke up again.
The more she pushed him away, the more he liked her.
Tiffany wasn’t trying to play games. She did like him, but she felt they weren’t right together.
However, she learned something about men. They really do like the mean girls.
On a deeper level, they like and need that challenge. It drives them.
To use this trick, don’t ask a man where things stand, if he’s looking for a relationship, or what his intentions are.
Let him chase you, and take a step back at times.
Trick #4: Realize YOU have it going on.
You know when you go to the salon, get your hair done, put on a new outfit, and hit the town?
That’s a great feeling.
It’s similar to when you get a promotion or something big comes your way.
When you feel good about yourself, it shows. Everyone will pick up on the vibe that you’re putting up.
Now think about this: You already have what men want.
I know you’re trying to figure things out. But nevertheless, men are still looking for a great woman like you.
You just need to believe it.
Men pick up on your attitude about yourself.
So if you feel like you’re hot stuff, he will too.
You don’t have to be “too good for anyone” to have feminine confidence and sexy allure.
And you can’t fool him. If you fake confidence, he’ll know.
Instead, nurture yourself, invest in your learning and skills, and develop your talents.
Pamper yourself so you feel sexy.
And when you show off that sexy confidence, men will follow.
Men look for a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin, likes who she is, and loves connecting with other people.
Show him that you value yourself by being decisive.
If he asks you to pick the restaurant, pick one.
If he shares an opinion you don’t agree with, don’t pretend that you do.
Hold your own!
You don’t have to be overbearing and pushy to value yourself.
But when he realizes you do value yourself and expect respect, he’ll be crazy about you.
Trick #5: Make him long for you by having a full life.
Make sure you’re not always available to answer his calls and texts right away.
Don’t ever tell him, “So sorry I missed your call!” or “Sorry I was busy!”
Never apologize for having a life.
Having your own hobbies and friends will make you more attractive to men.
“Wow, it was insane this week!” or simply, “It’s so good to catch up now.”
Men will test you from time to time.
He’ll talk to you for a week and then not call you one day. You might worry that something happened.
Most likely, he’s seeing what you’ll do. Call him? Send five texts?
Don’t text him!
What if you have a fun day at the beach, go out on the town, or hike in the woods? Do something fun, share it on social media, and hold off on talking to him.
He’ll suddenly realize that he doesn’t have you wrapped around his finger. And he still has to put in the work to win you over.
“Oh, no,” he’ll think. “She’s not a sure thing. She might be out with another man.”
And then he’ll be chasing you again!
When he realizes you aren’t going to contact him, he’ll reach out.
When you get that “Hey, what’s up?” text, tell him, “Just putting aloe on my skin. Got a lot of sun!”
When he asks how you are, tell him, “I’ve been busy at my friend’s house...painting my mom’s porch...so I haven’t really had the time to check my phone.”
Now he knows that you didn’t sit at home, and that you’re ready to talk to him or go do something with him.
This somewhat tells him that you won’t depend on him for your social life and emotional needs, and it takes off a lot of pressure.
That’s extremely attractive to men.
If he’s talking to several women, you just left them in the dust.
This method is also much more fun and healthier for you.
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a long time or just met him last month, this reminds him that he doesn’t “own” you.
You become more desirable to him when he knows that spending time with you isn’t a sure thing.
In fact, this is super important in long-term relationships.
Your man wants to make you happy...but he doesn’t want to be completely responsible for your happiness.
That sets him up for failure, and men like to win.
Plus, keeping busy will give him the opportunity to chase you even in a relationship.
Just make it more special when you do get time together!
Trick #6: He has met his match.
When I say, “He has met his match,” I don’t mean his soul mate.
Yes, I hope the two of you end up being soul mates, but this trick is about something else.
You know in a movie when the good guy corners the bad guy and says, “You have met your match!”
It’s the perfect adversary; the Ying to the Yang; the flip side of the coin that balances things.
Iron sharpens iron.
If you mentally challenge a man, you trigger his desire.
Pretend you’re going to an NBA basketball game with two closely ranked teams.
You’re set to watch a close game. The tension will be through the roof!
But when the game starts, one team doesn’t put up a fight.
The other side crushes them.
You go home disappointed. What a waste of money, right?
Think about this story from the point of view of a guy, and then think about it in the context of dating.
It applies to courting and relationships.
What does a man want more than anything? They’ll say a swimsuit model or super rich lady, or maybe they’ll even say a committed, loyal, beautiful-on-the-inside type of woman.
But no matter what they say, what they want is an equal.
He wants a woman who will share her opinion. Stand up to him. Call him out on his BS.
He wants you to have fun with him too.
Men go crazy over sexy banter.
They love smart women.
Men do not want a doormat or “nice girl” or someone who studied “How to be a perfect wife”.
When men marry women who fit that old idea, they don’t want to go home to her.
Yes, men love to be taken care of and pampered at times. They want a life partner.
But you gotta throw in some sass and banter, and tell him like it is once in a while.
You need to be his match, like the Catwoman to his Batman.
Using the first five tricks will set you up as his match. You showed him you won’t drop your life for him.
You held your own as the relationship started.
And you let your feisty side out sometimes.
If you’re a match for him — a challenge for him — he’ll desire you like crazy.
This works wonders at any stage of a relationship, from initial attraction to your twenty-year anniversary and beyond.
If the relationship is in a rut, throw in some sass.
Flirt when he doesn’t expect it.
Banter with him.
It’s healthy to make some sparks sometimes.
By being his match, you’re creating a healthy dynamic where you have an equal say, and you help each other grow.
That keeps life interesting, and he’ll desire you like crazy and think about you 24/7.
These six tricks will help you attract the perfect man for you and make sure that he stays committed.
Now you know the rules to the game and understand his instincts better, put this knowledge to good use. Go have some fun and always remember how valuable you are.
However, if you want to understand men on a deeper level and learn what makes them stay, and what makes them leave...
Then, you’ll want to watch my free presentation on Why Men Pull Away:
...Awaken His Love and Devotion...
If you are frustrated by a man who is ignoring your calls or is taking you for granted...
If you wish your man were more attentive, loving, and noticed you more...
If you're sick of taking second place in your relationship and feeling under-loved, even lonely...
There are 3 seemingly harmless questions that will change EVERYTHING and awaken his overwhelming feelings of love and devotion for you.
Find out what they are:
Once you ask these innocent questions, it's going to push any thoughts of other women and any other distractions from his mind.
In fact, it's going to shock his system so much it will give him absolute certainty that you are the only woman he wants to be with.
No matter what your situation, this will turn your man from disinterested to devoted!
Even if he has stopped calling you or answering your texts..
This will make him beg for a second chance.
Even if you have been together a long time, and he's acting distant, ignoring you and treating you like an afterthought...
This will bring him back to you and make him shower you with love in a way that will make your head spin and your heart sing.
These 3 harmless questions have a POWERFUL effect over a man.
It's time you found out what they are and watch something amazing happen to your man.
No more feeling inadequate. No more going to bed feeling alone and unloved.
Watch the romance come back to life!
Get more great advice from Slade Shaw right here at why do guys: