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Why Do Guys…?

About Peter White

Peter White

I’m determined, and just stubborn and opinionated enough to tell you HOW I see it… from a male’s point of view.

For those of you who don’t know me personally or who haven’t had the pleasure of getting to know me… This may be for you.

I’m Pete. 🙂

The name was given to me as a tribute to my uncle. A man who made the ultimate sacrifice and someone who honestly, I could never live up to.

Don’t get me wrong, it has definitely NOT stopped me from trying.

He may have died saving many lives and I can pick up where he left off.

Only in my own way.

Day one of my existence nothing was left untouched. My imagination has let me create but my logic driven math and science curiosity had me pick apart anything and everything which crossed my path.

It’s not surprising when women came into my life sexually I clung to attraction and all that (it) appears to make us do.

Addictive personalities BE warned…

Attraction can feel like the most wonderful drug in the world.

It’s free, abundant, and you can find it practically anywhere you choose to look.

BUT just like any other drug, the side effects can be lethal.

In the world of attraction, the destruction of our lives starts with letting it lead us blindly.

Stuck in the future begging for the past to change.

Like it did to me when I first started doing my typical scientific “research” across the border to the feminine side.

The “probably” important but most definitely “pain in the ass” thing about instant love or attraction, call it whatever you want, is when it is left to its own.

When it’s not given something back, when it’s not nurtured from the outside…

Well it becomes an annoying little prick bent on causing acts of desperation, deprivation, and the occasional constipation only set free to discover “other” things to keep us busy and sane.

I’m sorry… 😉 I get carried away sometimes. You’ll enjoy my passion though, it can be a lot of fun.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah so women, well they were all I could think about it.

I loved music but I practiced and wrote hoping she would notice. She, meaning any girl I was, yep you guessed it, attracted to but was sort of predetermined to never have.

How very sad, isn’t it? 😀

Everything I did was clearly had “women” behind it whether ir was negative OR positive.

How did I walk? Well like I was sexually deprived.

How did I run? Like I was chasing her dreams.

How did I play? First to “draw them in” to play with me, then to avoid the pain and hurt. To decapitate my heart and focus merely on my soul.

One fateful day it kind of all blew up in my face.

As much as it could since being one of the “good guys” and staying out of any real trouble was one of the skills I thought were specific to me, so I mastered at getting by with.

Realizing my fate was set out on a lonely road, not knowing what it felt like to sleep with lots of different women, not knowing what it felt like to be loved as more than just some crazy smart friend, not knowing the touch, kiss, or caress upon me from a deeply moved and my attractive woman…

Can you see it now?

Being the curious type, stubborn, too smart and aware of way too much shit, whereas attraction led me I had decided to start leading it.

I took all my skills, my passion, embarked on new risks, brought myself up and out to discover what is beneath it all. What makes it tick. How it works.

And better yet – to finally use the things which made me, me, and finally venture to the other side.

For real.

No more dreaming of the future. No more playing in the past.

Not leaving all other addictions aside, strange as it seems, what caused me to focus so much of my life on, the pretty females adorned or not, I’m also convinced was what caused the root of my many failures to enjoy more than just their presence.

Put another way so I can understand what the hell I’m talking about,

I grabbed my greatest weaknesses, the life which revolved around women, and turned it inward.

Sure my life would still be with men and women and relationships and attraction but instead of being stuck on the wheel going round and round – I got off the ride and learned how to run it myself.

It’s actually easier than most people will let them selves believe because…

I’m no genius.

I’m not a prolific prophet or some super analyst which in a hundred years will still be looked upon.

I’m just an ordinary man who chooses to stay aware and present. To see things from a most magnificent view.

It’s all easy because I will never let myself forget the one “thing” I was lucky to be born with, which was that I was born a man.

Whatever faith you choose to believe, whatever causes the beginning or end for you, whichever side you’re born on and look for in another, man or woman, man and man, woman and woman, back to woman and man…

Men are born with an instinct to survive and procreate.

They are also given the capacity to learn and grow and feel, and develop from a sometimes hidden instinctual language.

Women are also born with an instinct to survive and procreate.

Slightly different from men but the goal is the same.

They are also given the capacity to learn, grow, feel, and develop on their own set of instinctual blueprints.

It doesn’t go without saying.

Whether you are born as a man or woman – your counterpart, in all its unique outwardly differences, was so eloquently constructed for YOU to better achieve some form of survival and procreation.

Enjoying the ride, living a healthy balanced lifestyle, being lucky enough at the right time… just finding your own path of happiness with as little suffering as possible – well that’s the hard part.

That’s the real “catch” of it all.

Back to me – where the focus should be on this page. 🙂

Well I’ve created this all.

Not from scratch.

I’m as real as I think I am. I live a quiet life although some would argue with me on that one.


I get to look at things from over here – I get to see things from both sides – With my best ability, mostly….

I get to reveal to you some things about men you either didn’t know or want to know or use intelligently to help you understand the actions of guys.

On the other side, the men who read my words, who may follow my advice or ignore it, or use it sparingly and questionably which is what I ask from everyone…

I get to tell them about you.


Again, for those of you who don’t know… I’m Pete.

I’ll let you have every reason to hate me but you’ll find every reason to love me too.

Yet, perhaps we should keep our little affair a business arrangement. 😉

I’m determined, and just stubborn and opinionated enough to tell you HOW I see it… from a male’s point of view.

No matter what the cost.

I’ll be candid – I’m not sure if I have any control over getting you a certain man, having them fall madly in love with you, or promising you 8 secret ways to have men begging for you… for now I suggest you look elsewhere.

Preferably the people I turn to and have used successfully because that is what helps me the most to keep the ride moving.


Your stories WILL be used to help guys communicate themselves better to you. But within reason. We can get into that more on the other side.

Here’s to a great relationship – you be honest with me and I’ll do the same for you.

Thanks for all your support and as always, the best of luck to you…


(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
37 comments… add one
  • Johana

    Hi pete,
    So for about a month now I’ve been talking to this guy i met at a party, he seemed really interested in me because he would ask me when we were going to hang out and stuff. We finally went on a date and after that I’ve seen 2 other times . Since he’s a tattoo artist i understand he’s always busy and he likes to be on top of his work . But lately he takes a long time to text back and we don’t talk to as much as we used to . We also already had sex and i was wondering if that had anything to do with him being a little too distant? I try not to text him or bother him a lot because i know he’s busy and i don’t want to be to clingy either.

  • debbie

    Hello Pete.
    I have a question, that’s kind of about dating. Your view on this would greatly appreciated.
    I am 51 years old and out there in the dating pool. My question is.. Why do I only get younger men that ask me out? They are usually 10-15 years my junior. Ya its,flattering and fun sometimes. Men in my age group like me and find me attractive. But, when it comes to dating, it seems they want the 35 ers. I have accepted dates with the younger men, and it always goes very well. But I would love to find someone to love and have a forever relationship with. I can’t do this with a younger man. I feel like women in my age group are seriously f***** in finding anything real. What advice do you have on this topic.
    Thanks, debbie

  • Niki

    I have a situation. I was dating someone for about 3 months. Things were great. He stated he even saw things going long term…marriage almost and set out to prove it to me. I acknowledged what he shared 2 months in and enjoyed the growth. We didn’t smother each other and we respected each other. We prayed together, watched sports, and joked around all the time. We spent time together up until some things came up in his life in Feb. He suffered a loss, gave a family member 16k but is now stressed out about billsome and making ends meet (I didn’t know this until after we split), and for a month has been suffering from migraines daily. When the migraines came up I’d take leave to go to his appointments to be supportive. Cancer was ruled out. However for a month, the only time I would see him was at his appointments. So one day I asked him why we hadn’t spent any time together. He stated he’d been like that with everyone and his feelings haven’t changed. I told him, the day after suffering loss myself (March), that we should be able to handle our difficulties in life with each other in the picture. At the least that’s what friends do. We need to communicate better. The next day he says he’s not ready for a relationship and he has to handle his problems alone. I acceptes that, offered my prayers and told him if he needs anything I’m here. I told him I’m giving him his space (2 weeks so far). I want the space too… to be sure that I’m not caught up in my emotions. Of course within a week’s time “I miss yous” were exchanged between the both of us and I followed up with his medical problems (cause still undiagnosed). When I called he woke up from his sleep and started to tell me how miserable he’s feeling because of his allergies. Being a good Christian, I sent him a neti pot, candle, and a card wishing him well. Two days later he sends me his new cell phone number. I’m not sure what to make of his behavior. In my experience when guys are done they are done…especially if they know they aren’t getting at the cookies. I will admit I haven’t totally submitted to no contact and I do want a relationship with him. But he will open up but will shut down. I’m not sure if I should leave him be. I’m not the type to say I will wait years for him. I’ve watched friends do that. But I kind of feel like I should give him some time and later discuss the possibility of growing as friends and a possible new relationship. Your thoughts

  • Carey

    I have been friends with this guy for 12 years now. Last year around this time, we reconnected and he admitted that he was separated from his wife. We started a long distance relationship because we both admitted there had been a long brewing attraction between the two of us. We had a solid friendship where no secrets were kept. After roughly 8 months, he distanced himself and said even after saying that he loves me that we were better suited as friends. During a discussion following, he said that he is in a position where he can only focus on his kids and work right now. We still text and talk almost daily. So, my question is this, do I hold hope for us in the future once his divorce is final or do I accept the “friendship” as it is and not hope for more? I love him tremendously because of the foundation we worked to build and have never met another man like him in my whole life. Why would he say that he loves me, talk sexually suggestive to me almost like we used to when dating, but still insist we were better suited as friends? He has been “cut off” sexually, yet every time I see him, he finds reasons to touch me, pull me closer, and makes it obvious he is checking me out. I don’t understand his actions negating his words.

    • Peter White

      His actions are negating his words, his actions is HOW he is feeling.

      He’s being more honest with you than you might believe.

      He just can’t handle a divorce, his kids, AND another relationship where he is being relied on too much. BUT he’s having trouble giving up on you sexually which to him, is easy to show and perform compared to the rest.

      I can not tell you to give up. I’m in no position to decide your life. Weigh your options, the time frame involved, whether or not you believe he will balance his life within a reasonable time (if at all possible) and where you’re going to fit in during all that.

      Your real answer belongs to yourself.

      My “suggestion” would be to leave it open, stay friends, not too close, still refuse him sexually because you’re both too close to have sex without screwing everything else up, and certainly start searching for a more presently available man.

      All the best,


  • Cadance

    Hi Peter, I really like your website and the way you come out clear in your articles and the way you answer questions.
    There is this guy I met he is 44, am 30… I I fell in love with him and I told him right away and he was ‘scared’ away BC it wasn’t quite long we met… But he has a nasty attitude of when he is angry to just keep quiet, no calls,no msgs, nothing and it could go on just for weeks… He acted that way twice and this third time been 5months …I tried to get in touch with him, no response, he ignores and blocks me off on some media but not all….then I sent him a message that he has been lying to me because he used to tell me he really liked me and was attracted to me and now seems like I irritate him and I also suggested if we could see then he replied and said he doesn’t want to see me and that he is not interested in me at all.. So Peter I guess he was clear enough but just that I can’t get him off my mind, and believe me I tried, the longest have gone is a month then I start to ‘bitch’aroind him again, writing, calling, texting…and he never replies…Peter, how true is it that you men can be sweet one moment and be incomprehensible another minute. Also, if one is not feeling vibe with a lady, I think its cooler to call her and tell her instead of being mute….

  • Mikela

    Me and this guy been talking for a month now and he spelled the beans on he felt about me and we talked about everything under the moon and sun even marriage and kids I already a have daughter and he knows about everything and what I’m going through he would text every morning throughout the day and always a goodnight. He called me twice on his own and then two days ago he stopped texting completely. I’m just wondering why ??

  • Sarah

    Hey Pete,

    I’ve been dating this guy for a little more than a month. We got really close really fast, I guess. We even went on vacation together. But now I feel like he is pulling away. I asked him if he wanted to come along on my vacation trip that I planned long time ago. He said his family was going to be in the same place and he didn’t feel like meeting them. If he went with me, then he had to spend sometimes with them as well. Turned out, it’s the other way around. I saw him at the airport at the same departure time, different flight. I texted him and he finally told me the truth that he was going to see his family. He didn’t want to tell me cause he doesn’t want to piss me off.

    Then I asked him, “Are you sure you’re going to see just your family?” Cause I strongly think he is maybe seeing someone else there.
    He said, “Yes. You don’t trust me? I’ll take pictures.”
    I said, “you don’t have to.”
    Then he said, “I think trust is a very important element in a committed relationship, which we never talked about before.”
    I said, “I think we need to talk after vacation.”
    Then he said, “I think it’s a good idea. We should talk openly”

    The first day on my vacation, he commented on my Instagram story with a kiss emoticon. I didn’t reply. He then uploaded a picture of him and his brother, I also didn’t say anything. Then he went back earlier than me. (we didn’t see each other at all during vacation even tho we’re in the same place). Then he texted me again, “How was vacation?”
    I replied, “Still”
    He said, “Wow you’re lucky”
    I said, “I know, rite”

    I am just trying not to be too emotional and still friendly somehow but not giving away too much either. But then no reply and it’s been two days I still haven’t heard from him again. And I don’t want to talk to him if he is not the one initiating it. The truth is, I actually get the idea of what’s going on. I know he’s not that into me and trying to convince him into it, is just waste of time. But is bothering me. The only plan in my head right now is just to ignore him completely. Do you think it’s the right thing to do?

  • Clary

    Hello, I’m not sure if I’ll get an answer but somehow I needed to ask somebody. I’ve been confused for the past 3 years. Me and that boy only have 1 class together and it all happened when he started staring at me… A LOT! Everywhere. Everytime he got the chance. From close up, from a distance. I would come nearer and he’d automatically would look up. He would look behind just to look at me. My friend confirmed it. Also his friend have been looking and once the hall was empty just me walking past him and his friend and his friend would whistle teasingly. I was at his prom and everytime he would show up the first person he looked at would be me and staring at me. Just like instincts. I once broke down in class when we were changing classes. His friend would approach my friend to ask why I was crying even though we were strangers. But never would he approach me. He wouldn’t even accept my friend request. Perhaps because I was shy and couldn’t smile back at him? I want to change that but I can’t say hi to him when he’s ignoring me when he knows I’m looking.
    Thank you

  • Jordan

    Hi I was wondering if you would mind helping me?
    I have had a crush on this guy for a little while. Occasionally we will trade looks, if you could call it that. At a event the other night, I caught him staring directly at me, to which he turned and looked away pretty fast.
    Later that evening, I introduced myself. We shook hands and he went back to his friends.
    My questions are if I’m just reading into this or does he maybe have slight interest in me. My other question is what I could do to get him to talk to me a little more. We’re still getting to know each other really, so I understand actually talking more would be beneficial. Other than that what could I do?
    Thank you so much!

  • Maggie

    So, I like this boy in one of my classes. I love his style, looks and smile. We don’t talk. I am the one who usually stares at him first all through out class, and occasionally and lately, i have caught him also looking at me. But i don’t know what it means because he’s not constantly staring at me. He only stares if i say or do something and i look over in his direction to see if he is looking at me; and sometimes he is looking at me when i look, but I either look away, or he does. So my question is what do you think this means,and what i should do . Thank you and i hope this wasn’t confusing.

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