About Peter White

Peter White Why Do Guys

For those of you who don't know me personally or who haven't had the pleasure of getting to know me...

I'm Pete.... Peter White.

The name was given to me as a tribute to my uncle. A man who made the ultimate sacrifice and someone who honestly, I could never live up to.

But hey... Don't get me wrong, it has definitely NOT stopped me from trying to forge my own dedicated path.

He may have died saving many lives but I can certainly pick up where he left off...

Only in my own way.

Since day one of my existence, as far as I can remember...  I was kind of young at the time... NOTHING was left untouched.

My imagination has helped me create, write music, play all sorts of instruments, and do some wild stuff BUT my logic driven math and science curios nature had me pick apart anything and everything which crossed my path.

(Sincere apologies to my Mom for the Shed I ripped apart and the countless damage I did to my rooms growing up.)

It's not surprising when women came into my life sexually I clung to attraction and all that (it) appears to make us do.

Addictive personalities BE warned...

Attraction can feel like the most wonderful drug in the world. It's free, abundant, and you can find it practically anywhere you choose to look BUT just like any other drug, the side effects can be lethal.

In the world of attraction, the destruction of our lives starts with letting IT lead us blindly.

Like it did to me when I first started doing my typical scientific "research" across the border to the feminine side. And I don't mean becoming a woman - I'm a dude - all the way.

The "probably" important but most definitely "pain in the ass" thing about instant love or attraction, call it whatever you want, is when it is left to its own. When it's not given something back, when it's not nurtured from the outside...

Well it becomes an annoying little prick bent on causing acts of desperation, deprivation, and the occasional constipation only set free to discover "other" things to keep us busy and sane.

I'm sorry... I get carried away sometimes. You'll enjoy my passion though, it can be a lot of fun.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah so women, well they were all I could think about it.

I loved music but I practiced and wrote hoping "she" would notice. She, meaning any girl I was, yep you guessed it, attracted to but was sort of predetermined to never have, hold, or be with.

How very sad, isn't it?

Everything I did clearly had "women" behind it whether it was negative OR positive.

How did I walk? Well like I was sexually deprived.

How did I run? Like I was chasing her.

How did I play? First to "draw them in" to play with me, then to avoid the pain and hurt. To decapitate my heart and focus merely on my soul.

One fateful day it kind of ALL blew up in my face.

As much as it could since being one of the "good guys" and staying out of any real trouble was one of the skills I thought were specific to me, so I mastered it.

Realizing my fate was set out on a lonely road, not knowing what it felt like to sleep with lots of different women, not knowing what it felt like to be loved as more than just some crazy smart friend, not knowing the touch, kiss, or caress upon me from a deeply moved and my attractive woman...

Can you see it now?

Being the curious type, stubborn, too smart and aware of way too much shit, whereas attraction led me I had decided to start leading it.

I took all my skills, my passion, embarked on new risks, brought myself up and out to discover what is beneath it all. What makes it tick. How it works.

And better yet - to finally use the things which made me, me, and finally venture to the other side.

For real.

No more dreaming of a future. No more playing in the past.

Not leaving all other addictions aside, strange as it seems, what caused me to focus so much of my life on, the pretty females adorned or not, I'm also convinced was what caused the root of my many failures to enjoy more than just their presence.

Put another way so I can understand what the hell I'm talking about,

I grabbed my greatest weaknesses, the life which revolved around women, and turned it inward.

Sure my life would still be with men and women and relationships and attraction but instead of being stuck on the wheel going round and round - I got off the ride and learned how to run it myself.

It's actually easier than most people will let them selves believe because...

I'm no genius.

I'm not a prolific prophet or some super analyst which in a hundred years will still be looked upon as some sort of all-knowing"life" guru...

I'm just an ordinary man who chooses to stay aware and present so I can see things from a most magnificent view.

It's all easy because I will never let myself forget the one "thing" I was lucky to be born with, which was that I was born a man.

Whatever faith you choose to believe, whatever causes the beginning or end for you, whichever side you're born on and look for in another, man or woman, man and man, woman and woman, back to woman and man...

Men are born with an instinct to survive and procreate.

They are also given the capacity to learn and grow and feel, and develop from a sometimes hidden instinctual language.

Women are also born with an instinct to survive and procreate.

Slightly different from men but the goal is the same.

They are also given the capacity to learn, grow, feel, and develop on their own set of instinctual blueprints.

This doesn't go without saying...

Whether you are born as a man or woman - your counterpart, in all its unique outwardly differences, was so eloquently constructed for YOU to better achieve some form of survival and procreation.

Enjoying the ride, living a healthy balanced lifestyle, being lucky enough at the right time and being READY for it... just finding your own path of happiness with as little suffering as possible - well that's the hard part.

That's the real "catch" of it all.

Back to me - where the focus should be on this page, right?

Well I've created this all.

I'm as real as I think I am. I live a quiet life although some would argue with me on that one.

I get to look at things from over here - I get to see things from both sides - With my best ability, mostly....

I get to reveal to you some things about men you either didn't know or want to know or use intelligently to help you understand the actions of guys.

On the other side, the men who read my words, who may follow my advice or ignore it, or use it sparingly and questionably which is what I ask from everyone...

I get to tell them about you.


Again, for those of you who don't know... I'm Pete.

I'll let you have every reason to hate me but you'll find every reason to love me too.

Yet, perhaps we should keep our little affair a business arrangement because I'm more than happily married to the most amazing and wonderful and beautiful and exciting woman in the entire world.

I'm determined, and just stubborn and opinionated enough to tell you HOW I see it... from a male's point of view.

No matter what the cost.

I'll be candid - I'm not sure if I have any control over getting you a certain man, having them fall madly in love with you, or promising you 8 secret ways to have men begging for you... for now I suggest you look elsewhere and I can tell you exactly where to go.

Okay... let's get to the GOOD stuff...


I'm on ALL sides of the mating game.

To me, there are only TWO types of guys AND I was BOTH of them at some point in my life.

Make sure you read about them by following that link and/or subscribing to my absolutely free newsletter below where you'll get the book - Understanding Men Made Simple: There Are Only Two Types Of Guys. I don't like to brag but in it I actually DO reveal how you can get any man to feel connected to you in a way that when done wrong - actually pushes him further away so make sure you learn the difference as soon as possible.


I'be been the type one guy - I've been the type two guy.

Going from one to the other I learned about WOMEN which I imagine unless you're a gay guy that's YOU.  (Oh... by the way, there are actually three types of women now to me: My wife, my Mother,  and everyone else but that's neither here not there.)

This is what I mean when I say I've been on ALL sides of the mating game and I firmly believe it gives me an advantage or a perspective to see things which pass by others much too easily.

I know ALL the games, the tricks, how to get a woman in bed or out of it, AND I know how to teach men to BE actually better men - in other words I don't show them how to get you, I show them how to be more attractive men without all the bullshit and games.

You can read all about that at my site for - yep, you guessed - MEN: DiaLteG TM - Attraction For Men Who Want To Learn How To Attract Their Ideal Woman… Naturally.

All this helps you because I know EXACTLY what is gong on inside the mind of a type one or type two because well - that's me and to be honest - most guys are, you knows... guys.

AND because...

I'm a self-proclaimed man of science. I love that stuff. I live for exploring the universe and the universe which we call the HUMAN MIND.

This helps you because I've learned a somewhat ability to be very OBJECTIVE in what I see and what I find (which is also something I had to learn to go from a type two to a type one).

This objectivity is priceless when it comes to figuring out the relationships between ALL the sexes. Learn it - trust that you'll thank me endlessly for letting you in on that little secret.

I love to read human nature, social interactions, I study it constantly and it's benefited me in so many ways AND it will benefit you too because it's taught me how to change a mindset which is very important in this area.

As I wrote in my Book which you really should buy if you want hundreds of perspectives on why men go silent - in order to understand another - you MUST first understand yourself.

To invoke change and to grow from within - you must follow certain steps that'll guarantee that change will happen AND in turn you WILL understand man - simple and easy.

From the Chapter:

Could You Be Causing His Silence? How and Why It’s You & Not Him

"You're not destined to forever or eventually become ignored, attract bad men into your life, or push men away. You're not in any way have to be stuck with men who won't ever share their feelings with you.

You CAN change your habits. You CAN change your interactions with men. You CAN stop this pattern from happening to you. You CAN tip the balance back over to drawing men in much more than pushing them away.

I am living proof that within each of us exists the ability to change ourselves and to live a more productive life which inevitably leads to better relationships and an overall happier existence.

It all starts with a plan and a determined dedication to continually move forward despite any setback or heartaches you may experience along the way.

Here's the plan. You can consider these steps but they don't necessarily work that way. It just makes it easier on you (and me) to follow to if I categorize certain things.

#1: Knowledge, education, and understanding.

Your first step in tipping the balance or drawing men closer is already happening because it starts with real-world knowledge and gaining an understanding of men that is not based on limited beliefs and false pretensions or assumptions.

This book has given you insights into a world most women will never see which is fine for them if they don't feel they need it BUT I guarantee once you finish this book and read it a few times - you will NEVER look or interact with men the same way again.

#2: Open eyes, open heart, learning how to communicate with yourself.

Your second step is to learn OBJECTIVITY and it's a difficult one because the root of these problems tend to remain hidden from view as they're buried under a lifetime of experiences and countless limited beliefs.

Learning to become objective is an imperative to your success. If you go through life with blinders on you will always make things more difficult on yourself and you'll find you'll just be treating the symptoms and not fixing the root of the problem.

Begin to see yourself with a keen open eye - a strong open and kind heart - and communicate to yourself in a positive productive way.

Your limited beliefs must be found before they can be eliminated.

You must first learn to communicate with yourself BEFORE you can communicate more effectively to others.

#3: Unwinding and reforming a better tapestry of your life.

Your third step is to learn how to eliminate those bad connections (limiting beliefs) which will help you remove many of the fears and anxieties you have in your life (and around or with men) which in turn opens you up to communicating to men in a more effective and naturally attractive way.

#4: Communicating yourself to men and others in a new more attractive and productive way.

Your fourth step is then to learn more effective skills that bring men closer to you, help you connect with men through their emotions and feelings, and to LET what you learned in the first three steps work its magic FOR you and not against you as how you lived before.

Here's a fact:

99% of any recommendations I make related to ANYTHING which involves getting and keeping a man, attracting him, understanding him, bringing him closer, making him commit to you, etc... have something in common no matter how they try to sell it or how it's advertised and IF they have any real value in the self-help world.

That one consistent component is...


The Silent Man - Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings.

Lastly... and this one is a bit strange but it puts the entire package all together:

Imagination - Creativity - the ability to prepare, predict, practice, and live passionately by doing the things you love.

As a very studied some might call skilled but I'd say "fluent" musician and writer I have found a correlation between art, living, and understanding others in a way which is often hidden from them because they claim to lack imagination which I don't believe is true.

We're ALL born to be creative. We're all born to be passionate. We ALL have the ability to prepare, predict, practice, and do it again UNTIL it's done better. Not great. Not the best. Just BETTER than before.

I feel by practicing ANYTHING you would call it art form - you're doing just that AND if you apply those same procedures to understanding your fellow man and yourself better - EVERYTHING falls into place - not like magic - like it was MEANT TO BE.

Putting it altogether...

I know men and women and the strange consistently inconsistent unpredictably predictable ways in which they interact and WHAT it all actually means. To a certain degree - I am FAR from PERFECT and don't ever wish to be other than the moment I'm currently in.

I give can you both sides - each type.

Science and the simple complexities of human nature and the universe it all contains doesn't literally turn me on, close - but I can never soak up enough knowledge for I am always seeking new paradigms and new mindsets.

Objectivity has and always will be a strong suit of mine and if I can show you those tricks - you might not ever need me anyways - which would be really cool.

My imaginative side tends to put things together in sometimes distorted ways but I feel it also gives me the ability to prepare, predict, and live with a fiery passion.

Think about this way:

You meet a guy and something goes wrong with him - it could be anything - WHERE does your mind go? Does it go to the same place every time?

You can easily see how that can become a problem - it could lead you down the same road with the right or wrong answers every time which in my book, right or wrong all the time is not good for the growth of the human spirit.

If you're right all the time - you'll never learn anything.

If you're wrong all the time - you'll suffer with the consequence time and time again.


If you learn to live outside the box - to see things from a creative and imaginative view suddenly EVERYTHING changes.

New ideas, new worlds, new concepts, they all give you a perspective which will ALLOW you to see things unfortunately most people miss in their everyday life.

You won't go to the same place over and over - and these new place you visit - they're more than special - they're enlightening and give you TIME to consider WHAT is happening AND by doing so - you'll ALWAYS find the positive in it and the REALITY of it rather than a typical false assumption which guides you forever and always to the "bad place".

Once again - I'm not a genius. I Don't know everything.

BUT I'm positive if I could teach you to think like me (with more than what was covered today) without changing your entire belief structure and have you following some sort of weird-ass cult you would NO:T or NEVER need me to tell or show you anything.


Until you learn it - I'll gladly open my mind to you and whatever comes out of it - grab it - play with it - do whatever you want with it and MAKE IT YOUR OWN.

Dare I say - make it your bitch if that's the case...


Here's to a great relationship - you be honest with me and I'll do the same for you.

Thanks for all your support and as always, the best of luck to you...


Thank You For Sharing

Understanding Any Man Starts Here, Right Now!

Understand Men Simple Two Type Guy Phone Cover

There are 3 critical reasons why you NEED to read this book IMMEDIATELY:

♦ If you’re not sure what his type is, you could misread everything he says & does which leads to more confusion and making mistakes with him that will hurt.

♦ Learn the insight & ability to detect if he’s for real, using you for sex, a player, a good guy, or one of those rare REAL man you DO want.

♦ Get my personal secret to getting a guy devoted and obsessed over you. Let me show you the right way because if you do it wrong, there may be no turning back the clock.

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About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated. Let me show you how & why. There are only two types of guys and knowing this changes everything. You must know which one or you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you.

38 comments… add one
  • Michelle

    Hi Peter,

    It’s me again!! Ugh. I’m just having a hard time with my boyfriend lately . We’ve been dating for 7 months now and his job is still his main focus. I get it, your career should be very important. He is in the restaurant business. So he works as a manager of a nice steak restaurant and is next in line to become the GM. He works about 50 hours a week either 9am-8pm or 2-1am. It is definitely hard for me as I work at 9-5 M-F job. Lately it seems like I have to initiate the conversations to even hear from him during the day. The problems we are having are mostly due to the way I’m feeling. For instance, he isn’t a very affectionate person, nor does he give me a lot of attention or seem “excited” to be dating. Sometimes he’ll come over and just want to chill out. Again I get it, he’s so tired from work. But I have been waiting on him all day and am always excited and “in lust” to do something romantic or whatever. Sometimes I get to teh point where I tell him that i’m sad and that i feel like he doesn’t give me enough. Instead of him being mature and admitting I am right, he goes off on a defensive tangent saying stuff like “maybe we just aren’t right for each other; I never do anything good enough for you; I’m a terrible bf” etc etc. Knowing its all a pity fest, I can’t stand it. I never say any of those things, I just tell him I have anxiety a lot because I feel like he isn’t showing that I am a priority. After the fact, then he apologizes and says he can do better and that in time it will change. But Peter, we have had this argument at least once a month since we got serious. I don’t know what to do because I don’t really want to end things with him, I just wish eh could take a step back and see it through my point of view. Everyone around me is having normal hour relationships, romantic gestures, etc. Any advice?

  • Vanessa

    Hi Peter,
    My sister is seventeen and has been best friends with this guy since third grade. She now wants more from the relationship but also has another guy she has been talking to for a while. How can she let the first guy know she cares without hurting the second?
    Thank you Peter, for everything.

  • Freedom

    Hello & thank you for your feedback. I have known this gentleman for about 6 years now by just small talk here & there & running into each other every once in a while. 5 years ago, I was walking home one day from the ministry we were both previously apart of. He was in front of me about 100 feet…he stopped & started walking backwards toward me and I soon caught up with him. On our walk he talked about his family, where he is from…etc. His house came up first, so we stopped & continued to have our conversation in front of his house, for about 45 min. At this point I really have only seen him around and maybe said hi to each other, so we still were considered strangers. Did he stop & walk with me in the broad day light just to be respectful? Or was there a possible interest in me? Through out the 6 years that I have known him, he would stop and talk to me, small talk, and I would talk to him, but never long conversations, usually short. (I have always been shy around him & sometimes I would lose all my thoughts). We are both real attractive, I am 36 (but don’t look it, so they tell me) and he is 7 years younger than me. 1 year later, it turns out that the next house I moved into was on the same street he lives on. (I didn’t do it intentionally, but a friend of mine bought a house on that street & she was looking for a renter, and I was looking, so it worked out perfect. One day, I happened to be outside with my cat on the front porch, as he was walking by …he stopped & said hello & he mentioned he would like to meet my cat, so he walked up to the porch. We talked for about 20 min and as he was leaving he said he would like to see more of my cat. I was always confused about that comment, because why would a guy wan to see my cat again? About a year later, I ran into him at Trader Joe’s where he started to work. We talked for about 25 min. My friend that was with me suggested he & I meet for coffee some time. He said yes, lets meet. Since it was his work place, I felt it wouldn’t be professional to hand him my ph# so I told him to get my phone number from his roommate (who I was friends with). The biggest mistake I ever made, even after he asked me if I was sure his roommate had my current number! To this day he hasn’t called or asked for my # as we still run into each other. (In between I did date someone for 3 months, so no, I am not waiting on this guy but I am extremely attracted to him, and still open to get to know him more). He had no knowledge that I dated someone else. What are your thoughts about all this?

  • Lola

    Hi Peter,
    Thank you for all your posts. They have been very useful.
    I have a question for you about a guy I have been flirting with at the gym for a while now. After a couple of months, I made a move and spoke to him for the first time before Christmas. We spoke briefly but he seemed very receptive and encouraged me to join his class in January. I have introduced myself and he did the same. However, this week I tried to say hello and he ignored me a couple of times although being around me during his class breaks. After he finished his class, I decided to talk to him and apologise for not joining him on his class that day. As a typical Brazilian girl, I touched his arm to call his attention at the water cooler which made him very nervous and awkward. He cut the conversation abruptly and went off to do his exercises. I felt like an idiot and now I am not really sure if I have crossed some sort of line and make him extremely umconfortable (for being a shy guy) or if he is just not interested in me anymore. I am decided to back off for a while and see what happens but I really want to ask him out eventually. What do you think?

    • Peter White

      Hi Lola,

      Don’t worry if you think you crossed the line after only touching his arm. That’s HIS problem and not yours to worry about. From what I can see you’re doing everything right and just because he’s not responding the way you want him to is again, his thing and not yours to worry about.

      Remember it’s NOT your job to open up a shy guy. You can only do so much and if the guy doesn’t get the hint or get over himself in a reasonable amount of time, all you can do is look elsewhere and remain friendly. If he’s attracted to you, he’s still interested. BUT there might be more going on that you can’t possibly know about like a girlfriend, won’t date “clients”, feels sweaty and out of place at the gym, intimidated by other men, afraid to be himself in a public place with you, etc…

      You just never know exactly and most men will NEVER make it easy on you and once again, that’s their loss and not yours.

      The only thing you haven’t tried is to quickly steer a short conversation into exchanging numbers to give him the opportunity to contact you outside the gym. Try that and see what happens.

      Good luck Lola,


  • Elaine

    Relationships are a waste of time and energy. You get hurt no matter what. All that nervous tension building up ,
    wrecks havoc with your life. Go buy a puppy or parrot at least they won’t hurt you.

    • Peter White

      You have an amazing attitude and outlook on life. 🙂 The truth is I had a puppy who bit me once, had a parrot that snipped my finger, had a cat who actually bit my morning hard on, Yeah try waking up to that Elaine.

      Yes, there is risk involved. A lot of people do get hurt.

      BUT I just don’t believe relationships are a waste of time and energy. My opinion of course.

      What IS a waste of time is bitching about them, complaining life isn’t fair, whining because you’e been hurt…

      I’m sure there are plenty of people who are willing to share your views on Twitter or Facebook, maybe you could start your OWN bitch-fest account to share with them and just get it all out once and for all. IT could only help.

      All the best,


  • Miraa

    Hello ,
    One day I saw this guy on the subway (this is not one of Sparks novels its my tragedy :'( #overreaction) , I did’nt understand what happend , my heart started to pound really fast , I would look at him for 2 seconds than turn my head , than look again , than turn my head again , It was like a magic moment , when I saw him , could anyone like anybody this mush just in 3 or 4 seconds ?
    Back to reality , I noticed that he’s student in the School of Architecture ( wish is near to my university , and sometimes I go to its cafeteria with my friends )
    However , I started to look a him everymorning whenever I take the train , and fortunately I would found him , I’m not gonna lie to you , I some efforts to be inn the same carriage as him so that he can notice me at lest , And I would stare at him sometimes until …. he started to stare to! alot ! we stare at each other for seconds , then stop , until one us will restart the (battle)
    He saw me one a the station , and I thought his friend told him that I was there , cz he searched until he saw me , we stared at each other again
    In tain ,I would start a cnverstation with one of his friends(we were standing next each other) just talking on random things , or comment about what’s happening around us , e was talking to one of his other friends ,, and when he nticed I was talking to his friend he left the other conversation and came next to me to hear what are we talking about
    one day, he helped me with my bag , he smiled and puted aside for me cz the train was croweded
    so last week , I was in the cafeteria (of his school) i DECIDED TO SAY HI , he was paasing by , I did this thing wih my eyebrows , whisperd a hello , and smiled , and he said hello and winked (but without a smile) it was normal and exciting in the same time
    Yesterday , he was in the train again , I saw him , But I acted like I did not ,he saw me and stared at me many times , when It
    was my station , I was going out of train he checked me out from head to toes , I
    I’m having mixing feelings , what should do , do you think he likes me ?

    • Peter White

      Hello Miraa,

      I’m not a mind reader but I believe you made it clear to him how much you’re into him. Try again, say hello at a time when he can talk for a while and notice his reaction or the conversation that follows.

      IF he doesn’t respond this time or in a more friendly way, then I would have to say that his interest just doesn’t seem to be there.

      You can only open up to a guy a few times and if he doesn’t respond, then why waste your time. I understand you’re “feeling” it for him but you also have to understand those strong feelings could easily cause you to become the suitor. Something it appears he wants to be.


  • Joa Snow

    I may not have a question at this time, but I loved to read about you and I’ve been reading your blogs since couple days ago. Thanks for your light and good vibes 🙂

    • Peter White

      You’re welcome and thanks for propping me up 🙂 I highly appreciate it.

  • Missy

    Hi Peter:

    Hope that all is well with you. Wanted to give you an update on things’ am the lady that shared with you that this man at work was following me and flirting with me in front of his gf. Well, here is the update. She isn’t there anymore. I have seen him around and yes hes been around me. Today as I was standing around, I was talking to another work colleague and when I went back to my office, he was right there. He stood there next to me. My theory is I am being careful and if its meant to be, then it will happen. I think he sees that I am not chasing him which is good.

    Hope to hear back


  • Jasmine

    Pete I would like to ask you a question about this guy but I don’t really know him, but he tends to stare at me a lot and look at me a lot, he sometimes checks me out when I’m wearing a certain outfit. I think he’s cute but I get to shy to even look at him but I always catch him looking at me.

    • Peter White

      In the very least Jasmine…. SMILE!

      Guys melt when a woman smiles at them.

      He’ll either crawl into a corner and retreat because he’s inexperienced and not really confident OR he’ll smile back with a “come hither” now of appreciation.

      Don’t make this more difficult than it already can be for some. 🙂


      • Gaby

        Hey Pete,
        I have a question. I went to breakfast with a guy from work with a group of friends. He’s 20 and I’m 25. We work the night shift so we had a few drinks during breakfast. When we were done with breakfast, he asked him if I wanted to keep drinking and I answered yes and he told me that the drinks were at his place so I honestly didn’t expect anything from him even though I was interested in him. We go to his room and we start drinking and then he starts kissing me then we wind up making out and we couldn’t have sex because I was on my monthly. We continued to make out and we talked about him and his future and me and what I wanted from him, which was a casual thing, he said that it’s fine and if it didn’t work out that he still wanted to be homies. We cuddled and he even took a picture of us which was weird and the lid was totally innocent. So I stayed til the sun rose and I was giving him a hand job but it got interrupted because his mom was up, yes he lives at home with mom and dad. So I decided to leave and kissed him goodbye. So I texted him the weekend to hang out and no reply. He says hi to me at work but I asked him if he wanted to continue what we started and he said no. My question is what did if I did something wrong? Help would really help me get some closure.
        Thank you

        • Peter White

          Hey Gaby,

          I can not see exactly what you did wrong. I did notice something. Who brought up the conversation about you and him and his future with you? Sounds like it was him. Which usually means he was only looking for a one night. If you brought it up, then that wasn’t good but not enough to scare away a guy that easily.

          What I did gather from your story is that he’s (probably) not that attracted to you and let the alcohol dictate his actions. He let down his guard and went with the moment.

          After that, being completely sober and knowing he works with you, he most likely decided against anything happening.

          If you’re out drinking with him again and he starts to act the same way, then it will be quite obvious that the alcohol lowers is inhibitions just enough to start something with you.

          You really didn’t do anything wrong that I can clearly see. As a guy, I’ve gone down that road myself and quite honestly, never wanted to continue something with those women again. Even though I was feeling it a little while being even slightly intoxicated.

          Hope that helps you get the closure you were looking for.

          All the best to you,


  • Elizabeth

    This is a lovely insight into what you’re all about. Thanks Peter. I am heart broken by a guy who refuses to communicate with me and I don’t really know what to do next. It’s difficult because I can’t get him out of my thoughts and I’m really struggling to get through the day. I need to try and get over him but this is easier said than done.

    • Peter White

      Thank you and of course it’s easier said than done. I’ve had to get over many women in my younger life and I would love to tell you I handled them all perfectly… but I didn’t.

      BUT… I did get through it all and managed to come out better each time.

      Take a very quick look back, if communicating with men has always been a problem, then I suggest you try some new tactics. Explore the many facets of how us guys really do communicate. Just make sure you do something different.

      If it’s not a recurring problem, assume you’re just not going to get through to this one. Some people just have to find their own way, in their way, and might never ever find it. YOU can not be held responsible for that.

      Keep yourself busy doing things you love. Keep the “look backs” to a minimum and please don’t dwell on the past. You can NOT change it.

      Thanks for posting and I’m positive you’ll get though it and on to the “next” hopefully better communicator,


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