“Ever wonder what it means when your boyfriend is constantly mentioning other girls & how they want him too. This happens because of insecurity, validation, make you jealous, mouth vomit or he’s bad at talking to women and treats you like his guy friends. Lastly, there’s assurance & doubt. You’re about to find out What it all really means.”
Seriously, how bad does it suck when you’re hanging out with your boyfriend and he finds yet another way to bring “her” into the conversation.
Maybe it’s a girl in the movie you’re watching together that reminds him of her and he feels like he just has to tell you.
Maybe your waitress looks like a girl he knows at work – who just happens to be always trying to get him to go out with her.
Perhaps, and this one really spikes your anger so much you can feel your fists clench up as he laughs at his own story about this “girl” he knows he won’t stop calling him late at night.
No matter what your personal situation is you don’t think it’s a joke or funny no matter how “lightly” he spins it.
He’s laughing it off while you’re steaming inside, possibly getting ready for yet another pointless fight which this time – may be the LAST one.
If you’ve ever wondered what does it mean OR why would a guy feel it necessary to tell you about OTHER girls who want to be with him…
You’re about the know the absolutely truth because at why do guys… it’s what I do.
Here are ALL the main or more common reason as to why it’s happening.
Validation & Insecurity.
A man will talk about other women wanting him in an attempt to stir jealousy. How you react can either guarantee your real devotion to him or have him believing you don’t really care.
Either way this borderline passive aggressive act is done with purpose although you will find most men don’t even realize they’re doing it.
You see there are lots of guys who may not believe they’re good enough to hold a woman close.
Their self-esteem, past relationships, childhood experiences, all can keep them in a perpetual state of “looking for real validation”.
Words are never good enough and actions can be misunderstood.
But getting a woman jealous can be a very clear emotional sign that a girl just like is dedicated to him and your relationship with him.)
I can honestly tell you from personal experience (when women alluded my understanding) it came down to power.
Before I mislead you, it’s NOT about gaining power over you.
Lots of men believe women have all the power to choose who they sleep with and they don’t. They believe YOU are the selector and they have no real say in the matter.
This could easily lead them to feel like while you’re in a commitment with him, YOU have the power to sleep with any other guy you want.
Meaning he jut might believe while you may not be cheater – YOU have more opportunity to cheat on him.
If that guy has too many insecurities and is constantly searching for validation he will (at times) feel helpless.
As always, when a man feels “helpless” you’re likely to see parts of him you may not enjoy…
Such as talking about his not-so-favorite stalker.
Now I don’t want you to believe he’s not strong enough for you or that you should dump a man who’s not secure enough for you.
Just to understand him better and acknowledge this “problem” you might be experiencing is not necessarily a conscious act to keep you around or assure him of your dedication.
The other reasons are assurance & doubt.
Some men even do it because they believe they’re reassuring their commitment to you like,
“Hey this girl won’t leave me alone…”
“You have nothing to worry about I am not interested in cheating on you AND it’s more likely I won’t by telling you.”
In this case he’s trying (although in a very bad way) to assure you that he is in fact “into you” AND while at the same time erasing any doubt you may have about HIS commitment to you.
As odd as it sounds (and yes it’s strange how this stuff seems to come to me) BUT…
IF he’s a past cheater, feels weak, doesn’t think he’s good enough or capable of loving just one woman at a time then there’s a good chance he’s mentioning these other girls to:
One – Put it out there so he “feels” strong enough to not stray.
Two – Assure you or erase any doubt that you’re the only one for him.
Sometimes those happen separately, sometimes it’s a mix.
BUT it doesn’t unfortunately happen.
And this one is quite common…
It’s a conversational “foot in the mouth” kind of thing.
Meaning – just maybe he doesn’t know HOW to talk to women or WHAT to say to women and the more you’re with him – the more he’s likely to revert to talking to you like he would one of his buddies.
Yes, it’s true.
Some guys just blurt it out without “thinking” first what it’s going to do to you and how you will interpret it.
Without any real conversational skills – ANYTHING can come out of his mouth from time to time.
In this case you need to think a little – consider whether he’s that type, if you’re reading too far into it – or if it’s a common occurrence which means it’s most likely one of the reasons about and not this one.
Take a look at your situation and I’m sure you’ll understand exactly why YOUR boyfriend feels the need to tell you about other girls who want to be with him.
In conclusion… going through the list or reasons quicker about why a guy would tell you about other girls who want him.
If he’s the jealous type – he’s probably insecure, scared, or has a history of choosing women that will cheat on him.
So he’s trying to make sure you’re dedicated to the relationship and him.
If he’s the “overly” nice guy type – he’s probably looking for validation or an emotional response from you proving your commitment to the relationship.
If he’s very secure, has lots of choices, and has only mentioned a random girl a few times – then YOU might be the one facing your own insecurity about losing him.
Yes, sometimes you have to look at YOUR response and decide how often it’s happening and the context in which he;s bringing her up.
If he’s a past cheater and seems really into you, he may be worried or feel too weak to reject her. By telling you about it, the openness may be just enough to stop him from straying.
Yeah – I know – I’ve read that last sentence too but it’s true and this is the TRUTH about guys. Nothing but!
If he’s not a great talker, has lots of guy friends, he’s probably only used to talking to his buddies and he doesn’t even realize he’s treating you like a guy friend and not a girlfriend.
If he’s generally considered not-so-nice or even a player he may be using the old “jealousy” game to keep you close.
Wherever your boyfriend falls in the loosely based categories above – rest assured communication skills, security, an emotional investment on both “sides” of the relationship will play a major role of why it is happening to you and what he really means when he’s talking about other girls.
Thanks for stopping and I do hope you found the answer you were searching for today – and you can now understand your guy or any guy a little better than you did before.
You MUST sign in to the newsletter below if you want learn more about men because that’s what it’s about… guys.
If you’re having any relationship problems which have to deal with your husband and boyfriend being friends with other women, let alone talking about them – here’s a great article to put it all in perspective for you:
“Your husband or boyfriend is friends with another women and it’s driving you crazy. You don’t want to jump to conclusions or mess up the relationship. Here’s how to handle this situation. Stop talking about her. Take focus off him and put it in yourself. To become aware of your true feelings, you have to feel them.”
The add-on article was written by Rori Raye. A darling woman who KNOWS RELATIONSHIPS. You can sign up for her free newsletter there.Among her many top-rated programs – with this type of problem (guys talking about other girls) you can use to help you out is:
- You’ll learn to spot if he is toxic or bad for you (one of the guys mentioned above) OR if he’s just making mistakes (like another type listed above).
- How to stop treating the symptoms.
- And of course – HOW to transform your man.
Whatever you decide, pick one up, check out her post, sign up to her newsletter, join why do guys below… Hope it all works out for the better.