You're going to read a lot about all the signals men give you and how you can use them to figure out if he likes you or not. In the beginning of this post I will show you how they're NEVER right and in the end...
I'll show you exactly how to tell if a man is interested in you.
Here's the common advice for signs of interest usually given:
You're going to be told about body language cues which believe it or not, as a woman you already know what they mean. When it comes to reading body language you are already equipped with that skill AND you're far better at it then most men will ever be.
You may also have been informed about his flirting techniques. Maybe something like IF he's flirting with you - he likes you.
The truth is...
Flirting is just a form of communication and never a fair assessment of like, love or interest.
It can be a sign but it's no guarantee.
Maybe you believe because he always looks so good when he sees you, or he's always smiling at you, or even that since he's watching you talk to other guys and doesn't seem to like, he MUST be interested.
Okay... really think hard about that last one and for it to be a fair assessment of like or interest you'd have to assume that what?
When you're not around he never smiles, he looks like shit, and he never checks out a woman talking to some other guy.
Seems absurd now - doesn't it?
Maybe because he always initiates the conversation. He's always first to call or text you. How he goes out of his way to find you. Even the friendliest gesture can be reasoned and confused with any real gut level attraction.
Sure they can be good signs of his interest in you but then where does that leave you?
I'll tell you where, you get stuck with even more questions like:
- What are his intentions with you?
- How much does he like you?
- What is he looking for from you?
- What is he really interested in, a relationship, sexual fling, casual dating?
If you're looking for a real definitive answer and that answer only makes you come up with even more questions then sure, you have the making of a great science experiment but not the REAL answer you were looking to get.
And let's not forget about when he starts to ignore you.
He's playing "man games" with you...
He's here one minute and gone the next...
Then he must like you because no guy plays hard to get unless they want you to like them back, right?
Again all reasonable assumptions but what if he's actually just been busy.
What if he's not playing hard to get, what if he's not into seeking your constant approval or is overly needy or what if he just likes to take things slow.
Something most men do anyways.
The answer of like and interest will once again be missed sending you down another path of over-thinking, wondering, guessing, and quite possibly turn you into a "hot" mess. If you begin to interact with him in that state, those unsure and confusing actions will more than likely push ANY man away.
Since I'm going to assume you've heard it all before... it's also safe bet for me to guess the answers you found - didn't solve your problem.
Or did they?
You got lots of things to "look out for" but no definitivee answer based on your personal case and not some majority ruled generalization about men and the signals or signs that give you.
Why is that? Why, despite all those answers, you still find yourself wondering if he is interested in you or if he's truly attracted to you.
If you haven't gathered it by now - I'm a guy. Yep. Just another dude and I have all the parts to prove it.
Rather than give you the same old tips. The so-called science fact about our wonderfully unique mating process.
I want to share with you a guy's world.
Many guys repeat your same frustration EXACTLY as they rationalize it all or try to find the LOGIC behind it in their head:
"Does she like me? She's flipping her hair. Exposing her wrist. She's laughing at my lame jokes. She's communicating 15 out of the 18 signals that she likes me so it must be true. Look!!! Even her feet are facing me. And I know I saw her lick her lips at least once - while we were eating dinner. Hmmmmm?"
Would you believe I've known lots of good-looking guys who I've caught several times talking to me about a "signal" some woman was giving him and how it must mean she's interested in him.
And these were guys who needed absolute NO help in the dating world.
While all that's going on you're looking for the man version signs and at the same time (I might add) trying to use your female ways to show him you do like him.
This age old dance sometimes leads somewhere.
Sometimes you get that second date.
Sometimes you hook up later on.
Sometimes you accidentally lead a guy on only to find out you don't like him.
And sometimes your "maybe relationship" becomes so confused and buried in the mystery of it all you lose sight of what it was all about in the first place.
Let's not go there anymore.
Do you want to know (from a guy) exactly HOW to tell if a guy is interested in you or not?
A fail-proof answer which works EVERY time.
Do you want to know if a guy likes you or not?
Hope you're ready for this SECRET no one has ever revealed to you before...
Here it is:
When his lips touches yours and he wants to do it again and again and again - he's more than just interested.... He absolutely likes you!
Did I just blow your mind or what?
Really, you must be thinking, that's it? This is what you've been building up to all along?
Yes! Because there's something more important going on so read on if you dare.
You see - for you, me, men, women, EVERYONE - getting TO that point (kissing, touching, hugging, connecting, talking, screwing, whatever, etc...) is what it's really all about.
Men don't date women to become non-sexual friends.
They don't get close to women without wanting to be intimate sooner or later.
They don't feel attracted to you without wanting more than just a casual conversation.
The reality of dating is that the INSTANT you start looking for signals you're taking yourself out of the most important place you'll ever be...
And in the present is the only sure way to get TO that first kiss and to enjoy it too.
In one guy's world - a man who knows what he's doing and has real experience with women understands HOW to take you there.
His signals mean absolutely nothing because if he's wants you there and you're so inclined to join him - he WILL lead you there.
In another guy's world - if he doesn't understand the steps.
The typical type two guy:
He's too busy looking for YOUR signals to give you any kind of clear sign himself.
In a way HE wants YOU to lead HIM.
His signals mean absolutely nothing because you're not really dealing with his present, you're looking at a guy who is either living in the past and trying not to screw it up with you OR you're looking at his future as he's trying to figure YOU out and what everything you do means as it relates to you liking or being interested in him.
Can you now see what craziness comes out of all the searching for sign or signals?
No matter HOW you look at it - you only open more questions, no real definitive answers, AND you take yourself far from a place where you can create attraction and build a strong connection with a guy.
For IT to be completely REAL for a guy - he needs some sort of physical connection with you. Anything from hand holding to an intimate hug to a kiss and beyond.
This means a guy will do everything and anything within his power (great or small, smart or dumb, direct or indirect, foolishly obvious or discreetly hidden) to secure or MAKE that intimate moment happen IF he likes you or is interested in you.
That's HIS experience.
What you're actually experiencing when you're trying to figure out if a certain guy likes you is doubt about yourself.
Which has little or nothing to do with him or them.
That's YOUR experience.
Oddly enough - you know that. Don't you?
Hell I even knew it myself long ago even while I was sulking in the corner with a sad look in my face mumbling,
"Why doesn't she like me?"
Took me a while to make myself actually believe,
"Well maybe she doesn't like me because this is who I am. The type of guy who cries in the background and whines. I don't even like myself!!"
That's one of the extreme cases for men.
But in the smaller cases which I'll assume is yours...
Maybe you don't like one or two things about yourself and you try to hide those things from men.
Maybe you suffer from mild flashes of doubt which always seems to come at the "perfect" time.
Maybe you believe the guy you're liking doesn't seem to be into "your type", or you're too old, too young, too big, too small, too shy, too nice...
It's absolutely perfectly reasonable to say you're experiencing that doubt because YOU ARE FEELING ATTRACTION and it's uncontrollable hold on you.
If you didn't care about "how he sees you" or "if he's interested" then you wouldn't even bother asking that question. Would you?
In the "all case" when you don't feel attractive or likable at all you will actually try to stop yourself from "falling" for a guy because you know how deeply you'll look inside yourself and how much it's probably going to hurt.
What I'm saying, without getting too much into some blame game or who's at fault, without telling you the same old stuff somebody else has already written is the ultimate answer to knowing if a man is interested in you:
In a guy's world - the moment he feels attracted to you, he also experiences doubt.
Some greater than others.
Some handle it better than others.
Some hide behind a mask.
Some hide in the corner crippled by it all...
But the goal is always the same.
To secure an intimate moment which is dependent on the intimacy he needs and how he defines a physical connection to a woman.
Because that is when it becomes real for us guys.
I'm saying and I'm probably going to take a lot of flack for it but the ultimate truth if a guy likes you - starts with the very first kiss you share.
Getting to that point is best left to enjoy and experience (and not question) because you know it then becomes all about you.
Obviously we've avoided the social drama and the complexity of stepping from sight to relationship and how in our world there's more to getting together than just feeling it for someone.
If everything a guy does seems to be leading up to that first kiss then you can keep assuming he feels attracted to you, he likes, AND he's interested in you.
Stop looking for signals, body language clues or the deeper meaning behind it all.
Men don't make sense.
All those frustrating things that men do that don’t make any sense to you as a woman will NEVER MAKE SENSE.
Stop trying to make sense of them for yourself.
Trying to make sense of a man in your own terms is entirely counterproductive and gets little or no results other than you becoming increasingly frustrated.
There’s a better way.
You can't figure everything out.
Have you ever REALLY hit it off with a guy but after a few weeks or months, even though things seemed great, the man pulled away and starting acting distant and cold?
Most men, at one time or another, do things like this that are ridiculous and impossible to figure out.
So EXPECT to NOT UNDERSTAND everything a man does.
If you can become more comfortable with the idea of not knowing everything about WHY a man does what he does, then you’ll feel a strange sense of calm relaxation – along with an increase in your own self-confidence.
It’s frustrating and counter intuitive, but accepting what’s going on and moving forward from that reality in a positive way changes the whole frame of the situation.
But some women get stuck in the “I need to understand why he does this and THEN I’ll figure out what to do, think and feel” mindset.
This almost never leads to clear thinking and positive action.
Remember, men don’t make any sense.
So don’t depend on their actions making sense for you to develop your own opinions, judgments and next steps.
Pay attention to your gut, what you want in your life and what you know is right instead of rationalizing and finding a way for it to all fit together and be OK.
In conclusion... although be it a really long one.
You can go out searching for for signs or signals, body language cues, flirty communication, and all the different ways to figure out if a guy is interested in you or likes you but chances are you still won't find the definitive answer.
Men are wondering and asking the exact same questions about you and this is the answer I give them:
"The more time you spend LOOKING for signals, the less time you get to create the attraction.
The more time you spend in your head, the less time you’ll have to get in her head, mind, and body, if that’s what you want.
Women are very in tune with what is going on around them and they will often follow the lead of the guy they’re talking to IF you’re good enough at it.
If you’re unsure, that makes her unsure.
If you’re not confident, that makes her less confident too.
When you find yourself searching for signs and signals and are unsure if she’s feeling it back – she too will be unsure HOW you feel about HER too.
So just by looking for the right “it’s okay to ask me out” you’re not leading, you’re waiting for her to decide and by doing so – make it less likely to happen.
It’s just basic human behavior which can not be helped so it’s best to first LEAD the interaction in the direction you want it to go."
The same applies to you with a few tweaks of course:
The more time you spend LOOKING for signals or signs of his interest, the less time you get to build a connection.
The more time you spend in your head, the less time you’ll have to get in his head, mind, and heart.
If a guy is not leading you where he WANTS to go - he doesn't know how and will probably lead you in the wrong direction anyways.
If you’re unsure, that makes him unsure.
If you’re not confident, that makes him feel less confident too.
When you find yourself searching for signs and signals and are unsure if he’s feeling it back – he will also be unsure about HOW you feel about HIM.
The leading part is tricky and a little different because it's usually not advisable to lead a guy.
Here's what is recommended as just a start for you:
"Know yourself and what you're after.
Find your personal standards and requirements... and then stick to them.
Know your needs and understand no man will just magically know what they are which means you need to communicate them to him in an appealing way, that also speaks to his needs.
Radically reject behavior that doesn't meet your standards.
Do it in a way that rejects behavior and not him personally."
Quote by Christian Carter
He can lead you but you can also make sure he understands and knows which direction you're willing to be led.
My point is:
All this signal searching or trying to figure out if a guy likes you or is interested in you must be kept in check.
You can easily miss out on the present if you let it lead you too much.
Interest is one thing, attraction is another thing, liking or loving is also different, so you'd then find yourself searching for those answers as well.
The ONE clear sign that a guy is interested in you or likes you is...
When his lips touches yours and he wants to do it again and again and again!
Until that happens - why not enjoy the ride?
...And while you're out there "enjoying the ride" make sure you sign up below because all this interest and enjoying the moments become a lot easier when you know the type of guy YOU are interested in and then learning if he is into you.
You'll certainly will be that much closer to understanding ALL men - simply.