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Why Do Guys…?

A Man’s World Exposed – How To Tell If A Guy Likes You – Is He Really Interested?

in Does He Like You
Is the first kiss the only way to tell if a guy likes you? Maybe…

You’re going to read a lot about signals men give you and how you can use them to figure out if a certain guy likes you or not.

You’re going to be given body language cues which, as a woman, you already know what they mean. I won’t say a guaranteed 100% but trust me on this – when it comes to reading body language you are already equipped with that skill.

You may also have been informed about his flirting techniques. As if every guy who flirts with you is madly in love with you. I’m sure you know that’s not the case. Flirting is a unique form of communication and not a fair assessment of “like.”

Maybe you believe because he always looks so good when he sees you, or he’s always smiling, or even that “when he’s watching you talk to other guys” he must be interested. Assuming when you’re not around he never smiles, he looks like shit, and he never checks out a woman talking to a guy.

Maybe because he always initiates the conversation. He’s always first to call or text you. How he goes out of his way to find you. Even the friendliest gesture can be reasoned and confused with real gut level attraction.

Let’s not forget about when he starts to ignore you. He is playing “man games” with you. He’s here one minute and gone the next. Then he must like you because no guy plays hard to get unless they want you to like them back.

But then how can you tell if he’s just busy. Or if you’re over-thinking it all. If he’s honestly hard-to-get. Maybe distant. Maybe emotionally unavailable with spurts of candidness which keeps you coming back for more.

Well – I’m going to assume you’ve heard it all before.

So it’s also safe to guess the answers you found – didn’t solve your problem. You got lots of things to “look out for” but no definite answer based on your personal case and not some majority ruled generalization about men.

Why is that? Why, despite all those answers, you still find yourself wondering if he is interested in you. If he’s truly attracted to you.

UPDATE: Make sure you read my short little Ebook too: How Can You Absolutely Know If He’s Interested In You?. It was written as a give away but since it’s a little long and hard to follow, I just put it up as a page.

If you haven’t gathered it by now – I’m a guy. Yep. Just another dude and I have the parts to prove it. πŸ˜‰

Rather than give you the same old tips. The so-called science fact about our wonderfully unique mating process. I want to share with you a guy’s world.

Many guys repeat your frustration,

“Does she like me? She’s flipping her hair. Exposing her wrist. She’s laughing at my lame jokes. She’s communicating 15 out of the 18 signals that she likes me so it must be true. Look!!! Even her feet are facing me. And I know I saw her lick her lips at least once – while we were eating dinner. Hmmmmm?”

Would you believe I’ve known lots of good-looking guys who I’ve caught several times talking to me about a “signal” she was giving and how it must mean she’s interested. And these were guys who needed absolute no help in the dating world.

While all that’s going on you’re looking for the man version and at the same time (I might add) trying to use your female ways to show him you do like him.

This ago old dance sometimes leads somewhere. Sometimes you get that second date. Sometimes you hook up later on. Sometimes you accidentally lead a guy on only to find out you don’t like him.

And sometimes your “maybe relationship” becomes so confused and buried in the mystery of it all you lose sight of what it was all about in the first place.

In a guy’s world – when his lips touches yours and he wants to do it again and again and again – he’s more than just interested. He likes you and is more than likely going to tell somebody about it.

Getting TO that point is what it’s all about.

We don’t date women to become non-sexual friends. We don’t get close to women without wanting to be intimate sooner or later. We don’t feel attracted without wanting more than just a casual conversation.

The instant you start looking for signals you’re taking yourself out of the most important place you can be. The present. And the present is the only way to get TO that first kiss.

In one guy’s world – a man who knows what he’s doing and has real experience with women understands how to take you there. His signals mean absolutely nothing because if he’s wants you there and you’re so inclined to join him – he WILL lead you there.

In another guy’s world – he doesn’t understand the steps. He’s busy looking for your “okays.” In a way HE wants to be lead. He’s unsure of his own esteem. His signals mean absolutely nothing because you’re not really dealing with his “present.” Which as I stated earlier – is the only way to get there.

For “it” to be completely real with a guy – there must be some physical connection. This means he will do everything and anything within his power, lifestyle, situation, skill-set, and probably more to secure an intimate moment.

Truth be told – what you’re experiencing when you’re trying to figure out if a certain guy or a group of men like you is doubt about yourself. Which has little or nothing to do with him or them.

Oddly enough – you know that. Don’t you?

Hell I even knew it myself even while I was sulking in the corners with a sad look in my face mumbling, “Why doesn’t she like me?” Took me a while to make myself actually believe, “Well maybe she doesn’t like me because this is who I am. The type of guy who cries in the background and whines. I don’t even like myself!!”

That’s one of the extreme cases for men.

But in the smaller cases which I’ll assume is yours…

  • Maybe you don’t like one or two things about yourself.
  • Maybe you suffer from mild flashes of doubt which always seems to come at the “perfect” time.
  • Maybe you believe the guy you’re liking doesn’t seem to be into “your type”, or you’re too old, too young, too big, too small, too shy, too nice…

It’s absolutely perfectly reasonable to say you’re experiencing that doubt because you’re feeling attraction. If you didn’t care about “how he sees you” or “if he’s interested” then you wouldn’t even bother asking that question. Would you?

In the “all case” when you don’t feel attractive or likable at all you will actually try to stop yourself from “falling” for a guy because you know how deeply you’ll look inside yourself and how much it’s probably going to hurt.

What I’m saying, without getting too much into some blame game or who’s at fault, without telling you the same old stuff somebody else has already written is the ultimate answer to knowing if a man is interested in you:

In a guy’s world – the moment he feels attracted to you, he also experiences doubt. Some greater than others. Some handle it better than others. Some hide behind a mask. Some hide in the corner crippled by it all…

But the goal is always the same. To secure an intimate moment which is dependent on the intimacy he needs and how he defines a physical connection. Because that is when it becomes real for us.

I’m saying and I’m probably going to take a lot of flack for it but the ultimate test to see if a guy likes you – starts with the very first kiss.

Getting to that point is best left to enjoy and experience (and not question) because you know it then becomes all about you. It takes you out of the very thing you need to make that first kiss happen. The present.

Obviously we’ve avoided the social drama and the complexity of stepping from sight to relationship and how in our world there’s more to getting together than just feeling it for someone.

Let’s leave it at this and see where it takes us…

If everything a guy does seems to be leading up to that first kiss then you keep assuming he feels attracted to you.

If you’re impatient or are interested in time savers – the moment you’re close enough – make that kiss happen! Even if it’s just a small peck on the lips or neck. It doesn’t have to be a make-out session.

After that you’ll know exactly how much he likes you.

Stop looking for signals or body language clues or the deeper meaning behind it all…

The absolute truth of it all is…

We don’t date women to become non-sexual friends. We don’t get close to women without wanting to be intimate sooner or later. We don’t feel attracted without wanting more than just a casual conversation.

Love may be something else in determining how a man feel towards you. I would suggest you watch this informational/sales video because it will give you 7 questions designed to help you figure out if a certain man loves you or not… Does He Love You?

Peter White. Revealing the secret world of men because we’re not all that obvious. πŸ˜‰ Stay in touchnewsletter, Why Do Guys Facebook – Twitter @peterwhite125Thank you for everything.

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107 comments… add one
  • Helen

    Hi Peter,
    If a man is secure in the belief that a woman is attracted to him… Does he like the thought of someone being attracted to him? And will he eventually reciprocate her attraction in part intrigued by the fact that she is available? Assuming he doesn’t find her hideous to begin with?

    • Peter White

      Way too much logic going on here. πŸ™‚

      Of course most normal “people” like to feel like others are attracted to them, regardless of it being a man or woman… BUT that doesn’t ever mean an eventual action or attraction by that person.

      Attraction to someone does not ever create attraction. In fact it’s more likely to decrease it.

      • Helen

        Hi Peter
        Maybe too much logic is being applied here again… But does that mean the odds of you attracting someone who is secure in your attraction in him or her is slim to none as long as they remain secure.

        • Helen,

          Not at all. Just that it’s (mostly) easier to create attraction in someone who is not sure whether you’re attracted to them or not. Attraction is not a logical thing you can pinpoint exactly. It’s a primal feeling which is not chosen but happens for many reasons or “triggers”.

          I’m attracted to lots of women. If they know without a doubt of it AND they’re secure in themselves and/or have lots of guys attracted to them – THAT makes it harder for me to create (or more appropriately “trigger”) something that’s not initially there. BUT it’s possible. More than just possible or else I’d have no luck with women at all. πŸ˜€

          However with guys, it’s a bit different. We tend to feel attraction very quickly and it can turn to something else. If that attraction is not there something else can be built but it’s felt as something beside attraction.

          For some guys it does matter if he knows she already attracted to him (remember some guys just assume most women want them anyways) but at that point it becomes a choice rather than an instantaneous feeling. So the rules tend to change a little.

          See where logic gets you in these situations? A jumbled mess of confusion. πŸ˜‰

          Attraction for guys just happens. They either feel it (or not) based on their own preferences, social life, and upbringing. Whether he knows a woman “wants” then in that instant feeling means absolutely nothing. It’s what happens after which yes, knowing she wants him might alter his choice for something else to happen or not.

          If a guy knows you’re attracted to him, it does not make you more less or more attractive.

          BUT if a guy feels like he’s losing your attraction or you don’t like him at all, it COULD alter his course or change his mind but that’s again, something entirely different than real pure attraction.

          Confused even more yet? πŸ˜€

  • Helen

    Hi Peter,
    Thanks for clearing that up. If I can shoot another question your way here? Other than the obvious course of finding another man is there any way to make a man wonder if he’s lost your attraction?

    • Peter White

      Of course there is “Helen”. :p After you’ve flirted with him a little, talked with him a bit more, start ignoring him entirely and I’m sure he’ll wonder what he did wrong. I wouldn’t suggest you playing a game like that but ignoring someone AFTER chemistry happens makes that person ask way too many questions about what went wrong.

      • Helen

        Thank you for the help Superman,
        Helen ?

  • Donna

    How to get out of a intense desire for a guy. I’ve been talking to him for nearly two years. Whom I’ve never met as he keep restricting meeting up since he’s still hasn’t moved on from his ex of 10 years relationship.

    • Peter White

      I can only tell you what’s worked for me – for women though – replace your memories by making new ones. Keep yourself busy. Focus on yourself and meeting new people and exploring new things. Avoid all contact. Erase their number. Acceptance is only a few steps away as you let the feelings play out of you.

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