There are two types of guys... as always... The guys who "play" hard to get and the guys who ARE hard to get.
The men who are harder to get are normally commitment-phobes, womanizers, serial daters, men with lots of choices, men who might weigh their options a little too much, and yes, guys who when they're completely honest with you and themselves, just don't want you "bad enough".
The ones who "play" hard to get are doing on purpose for a few reasons:
The needy types who are finally learning that smothering a woman (or women) early on gets them nowhere. You can't blame them for trying something different. Trying too hard has only led them to fail consistently and doing something "different" can only help their lack of relationships with women.
The needy ones who ARE playing early on might only be doing it because if they don't, they'll smother too early, too quickly, and you'll soon lose any respect or attraction towards them and they probably have realized that fact.
The "player" boys who have several women lined up and will constantly (and consistently) attract you by any means, pull back, get closer, pull back further, avoid phone calls and texts most of the time... because they know you're attracted to them and feel like they have an advantage over you, that is IF you're left to always chasing them.
"Players all too often “play” women by making you believe YOU did something wrong." This Guy A Player? The Game He Might Playing If He’s Just Wants Sex
They play "allusive" and "hard" probably as an attempt to feel more powerful and gain control over woman. They might even feel like a lack of control in their early lives over themselves or the situations they found themselves in leaves a hole. It is commonly filled by trying to control others. Yes, I'm sure it goes much deeper than that.
The rarest guys who play hard to get often do it because they have only accidentally found women or accidentally attracted women and are not clear how and when it happens. It's not that they don't have any specific problems finding a woman, it's just they don't know or care how it works.
Those types of guys are "rule" followers... Don't call for three days. Don't text her back quickly. Never call her first. Sex always on the third date. Etc.. They tend to follow any and all "rules of dating" and unfortunately by doing so, become clearly predictable.
"Players often reveal their hand through character flaws which might be all too easy to overlook if you don’t know where or how to look for them." The ONLY Way To Spot A Real Player and If He’s Using Your Body for Sex
The guys who ARE hard to get work a little differently:
He's hard to get because he has internal issues which stop him from committing to any one woman for an extended period of time. He's not "playing" , it's who he is and although there are certain tactics you could use to change his mind, unless he comes to realize and correct the problem himself, his commitment will NEVER be real.
Personally I believe when you are certain he has a fear of commitment, legitimate or not, no matter how much he makes you believe he's SOOO afraid of being hurt, it's best to stay far away from this type of "boy".
Serial daters are a little different. Obviously they ARE hard to get because they're dating several women and are having problems deciding which one is the best for them.
It's not necessarily a bad thing to be a serial dater but it's hard to tell the difference between a commitment-phobe and this type. I'd say to see the difference, imagine one guy is always on the edge of the relationship, and the serial dater tends to rarely ever mention a relationship or act like he wants on with you.
Serial daters tend to enjoy the "buffet" and the process a little too much. They want it all. Perhaps they might even have too high expectations of the opposite sex and will often back off over the smallest things.
Men with lots of choices ARE hard to get and quite possibly offer you the greatest challenge because:
- They are extremely good with women.
- They have the highest confidence and strong self-esteem.
- They possess an internal strength, because of the choices they have, to not let sex get in the way. They can hold out longer than you. 😉
- They value and respect ALL women for who they are and not what they can give them.
- They give more than they receive.
- Are typically very Alpha and modest about it.
- And the list goes on...
This type of guy does NOT ever need to PLAY women and therefore will not play hard to get. Being hard to get is what separates him from so many other guys and will easily drive your attraction higher and higher. Whereas some women will run because of their lack of belief in themselves to get him, others will forever chase him.
He can be the "bad boy" too although we can argue on that type. 🙂
He can be a seducer.
A successful man in his career.
His archetype is generally accepted world-wide as the most attractive man AND by being that person offers women the greatest commitment challenge because again, he IS hard to get.
"Most men don’t play games, especially when it comes to ignoring the one thing they need in their lives... women!" What To Do When You Think A Guy Is Ignoring You and If He’s Playing A Game
He also offers one more added bonus to women which makes him irresistible, GETTING HIM almost guarantees the woman he's with, HER greatest PROOF of just how GOOD she is.
The last type of guy who IS hard to get (although I'm sure I've missed a few 🙂 ) is the most painful type to women...
He's this way because in all honestly, he just doesn't want you bad enough but keeps you around because:
- For himself. You make him feel confident, secure, and boost his Ego.
- For you. He's not the type to deny or reject women. He's terribly afraid of confrontation.
- He's not being completely honest with himself and how he feels about you.
- He's not actively dating or seeking out other women and his social life isn't all the extended. He has no other choices.
- He wants to like you more and tries to believe it, some days he does, other days he doesn't it and acts sporadic based on the current mood he's in.
This type of guy is dangerous!!!
He doesn't have the balls to call it off and doesn't have the strength to move on because he feels lost without you, or feels like he can find no other, and these conflicting thoughts in his head has him believing he's only ever going to hurt you.
He might also feel like he would be settling with you and that to him is unfair to you.
You see, either way, he's absolutely believes he's no good for you and will only end up making thing worse.
He's torn. Settling with you doesn't feel fair because you can do better. Settling with you means he could end up living a lie which will only blow up or come out in the end.
Rejecting you leaves him alone, unsatisfied, with little or no intimacy, and compounded everyday makes him feel helpless to change the current situation he has found himself.
I told you he is dangerous to you and for some types of women, more dangerous to himself because the longer it goes on, the more he feels helpless and stuck in your intimate hold because he JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED by someone who he can love back the same.
Since he feels helpless, he takes what he can get and if that's you... Well then the above explanation becomes the awful truth.
Relationship or not, he IS hard to get because even if he commits to you, in his mind, he has not convinced himself to actually commit. You'll find him acting aloof, distant, unmoved, emotionally void, and everything you DO NOT want from a guy in a relationship.
Now that you're well aware of these two types of guys, the ones who are actually "playing" you and the ones who ARE just plain hard to get, and all the different sub-types contained within them...
"You’ll find more men believing women are the game players and us guys are usually the victim." Three Types Of Guys Who Do Play Games – Does That Mean ALL Men Are Playing You?
I bet you're wondering, whether he's playing you or not, can any of this actually tell you without a doubt, he's into you, can be changed, can be made to see things "your" way, or even to stop all the madness and mind fucks and just BE a real cool guy who doesn't leave you guessing...
Well that's a subject for a later time "Bwahahaha" 😀 but you can have this: