There are many out there who are just bad news for you. They will cause you pain, hurt you emotionally, keep you waiting around forever and never commit, and when you do finally get in a relationship with him - a bad breakup is bound to happen OR you'll be left forever regretting sticking around and so much more too.
These men are generally considered TOXIC or figuratively deadly to your emotional health and well-being.
So how you do know to avoid these types of guys?
What are some things you can look out for?
How can you tell if you're dating one of not?
What's the best way to determine if you should give him a chance, if he's just making minor and fixable mistakes OR if it's time to break off all contact so you can move on with your life BEFORE it gets much worse?
I'm going to suggest you check this out later but here's the link and I'll give you some more information on why it's so good at the end of the post:
Now here's where I can give you many signs to look for and the most common types you'll want to seriously consider NOT dating or if you already are - whether it's fixable or not.
1. He is constantly asking if you like him.
This is normally a sign of very low confidence or very little self-esteem.
If a guy, in any way shape or form is asking you if you like him, his commitment to you will be generally based on your commitment to him.
So expect jealousy and early fights about the other men in your life. Past, present, and future.
Typically this type of guy is also very passive aggressive so he won't come out and say things - he'll often try to manipulate things "nicely" and discreetly because (unfortunately) he's usually a nice guy but the self-esteem issues and low confidence will make it hard for him to ever believe he can ever keep you or make you happy.
If you're getting lots of questions similar to "Do you like me?" or he's constantly upset when you're not always validating your attraction to him - this is a BAD sign.
Since he's generally a decent guy you might not want to ditch him BUT if you're not committed to him yet - he's not ready.
2. He is always questioning your attraction to him.
More low esteem and very little belief in himself. Similar to number one with a few exceptions - he's more pro-active and less passive-aggressive.
He's not asking you if you like him or why but most of his actions are based on the fact that he can not understand WHY you would like him.
He will never "feel worthy" of you. He might even cheat on you because of it. He will (more than likely) drive you crazy by eventually becoming overly needy IF he's not like that from the beginning.
Sometimes he will even sabotage a good thing with you when everything appears to be perfect.
This type of guy rarely commits and will have lots of excuses to back up his cause of avoiding relationships.
He does NOT love himself enough to allow or believe another could love him back.
3. He promises you way too much way too early in the dating stage.
Typical player or dreamer who rarely follows through with anything.
He ALWAYS finds a way to back out months down the road when it's too late and you're already hooked on him.
It's okay to role play and it can be a lots of fun, but when it's taken too serious this type of guy normally has trouble sticking to his promises.
Worst case scenario - he's a player who say things he can't possibly give you in exchange for early sex.
Be very cautious around a man who is selling his promises way too early, too frequent, and tends to sell an early relationship with too much because he may NEVER be able, capable, or willing to ever follow through with it.
4. He is confusing romance with attraction or using romance to create attraction.
This guy doesn't understand women or how to properly seduce you. He thinks you'll like him more if he gives you something or does things for you.
He doesn't understand your feelings and he might not ever "get them" or you.
Yes - you should be wary of guys who always want to give you things and do everything for you with total disregard for themselves or their time.
I know it sounds great, you might even like it for a while, but sooner or later it turns into bartering your emotions for his happiness AND he might not ever understand what your love to him really means.
Chances are you'll end up fighting about this a lot, "But after all I've done for you...!"
5. The guy who wants, expects, or acts like it's an instant relationship.
He's afraid of being alone. Scared of his own personal freedom and he'll expect the same from you... by demanding that you must always be there for him.
Instant relationship guy might not appreciate you enough because he refuses to experience other things first.
He goes from relationship to relationship and tends to skip over many of the really good parts of casually dating.
This goes for you too:
If you're not happy by yourself, chances are someone else won't make you happy either.
Yes, it's true.
Guys who commit too early and all too easily or act like they're in a relationship with you after a date or two, should be avoided IF you're looking for a real commitment.
6. He's telling you he's not good enough for you.
Similar to number 2 except instead of not believing in himself, this guy just thinks he's bad or uses it as an excuse to avoid committing to women OR to play women.
This guy rarely if ever commits for real.
He thinks (or says) he's a bad person and by you liking him, tends to believe you'll only get hurt and he WILL use that excuse to prolong the dating phase indefinitely Or as a means or an excuse to break up with you every three months to screw someone else.
It's an excuse. It's a ploy. It's an avoidance to take charge and quite possibly get over his past.
He'll play on your sympathy and frustrate you to no end as he constantly pulls away and delays any REAL action.
7. Playing the "Poor poor me." routine.
Normally he's a player whether he knows it or not.
The difference between number 6 and number 7 is is that this guy IS a player whereas the last guy might actually believe what he's saying.
He plays on your empathy to get what he wants which is normally string free and unattached sex or some form of intimacy up to and including a blow job.
He will make you feel sorry for him and use it against you.
He will always be right and make you feel like it was YOUR decision or how it's all and always YOUR fault.
If a guys life revolves around a constant "pity party" for himself, chances are he's either using it to get laid OR is incapable of allowing someone to love him and falls into number 6.
He will also use other women in his life to prove his point with you.
I've written a few eye-opening articles on this one which you can read here:
- What Was His Excuse To Not Commit To You? Real Fears or Bullshit?
- What Was His Excuse For Not Committing To You? Are They Real or Lies?
8. He's already complaining or talking about failed relationships or the one that got away OR the one girl who hurt him the most.
I have know several men to use this excuse or reason to never commit and still enjoy relationship free sex.
He's not rejecting you... it's HIM not you, right? Similar to number 7 above BUT...
He might actually be living in the past and feels deserving of something more.
AND if you don't offer that to him and if he never believes it's real - he'll resent it.
He'll expect too much from you.
Guys who feel like they deserve more without making a real effort to move on or be honest with themselves will also find it difficult to be totally honest with you.
Chances are he's still in love with another woman that he can never have and where will that leave you?
Be wary of the "relationship complainers" and at any time within a first or second date you start to hear it - trust it will only continue.
He's not emotionally or mentally ready and has not moved on AND/OR is still hooked on his ex AND/OR he has a problem with blaming OTHERS for his choices and problems in his life.
9. He's not seeing other women or knows other women or can't have a real casual relationship/friendship with the opposite sex.
Probably socially dysfunctional or hates people, which I suppose is common among men and women but with this guy....
There's a strong possibility he resents women.
His problem with fitting in the world might mean he'll expect you to give up everything or your social life for him and if you don't, he will become sad and lonely and more depressed until you feel as miserable as he does.
Good or REAL guys have no problems with having some women as friends. They might not seek it out but they also doesn't base their friendships on looks.
Our closest friends and the people we keep in our lives which go beyond family can reveal so much about our nature, our character AND just how needy we might become.
I know it's counter-intuitive and for some of you feels weird or goes against your belief, but it's better for you and a future relationship if the guy you agree to date is:
- Dating at least one other women or has had a dating life.
- Has one or more friends who are women.
- Can function socially and doesn't have a general disgust for "other" people.
10. Everything he does or says seems to lead to sex. Wanting it, getting it, etc...
Look out for subtle clues for this one because it's not always so obvious.
He's attracted to you but does NOT want anything more.
He's not half bad as long as you know this is what he wants and nothing more. Use it if you need (or want it) - just don't expect him to want a committed relationship with you.
Assume he's also doing it with other women.
This includes guys who only contact you when they're buzzed, drunk, late night texting only, rarely ever calls, sending or asking for naked pictures, and so on.
Guys who want a relationship with you rarely act this way because they will look for more from you other than your ability to please them sexually.
It may go without saying, you might already know this BUT I've found way too many women who get caught up in trying to turn it into something else.
Like when you're laying in bed together or talking intimately and sharing secrets it begins to feel like he's falling for you or something more can happen because he's opening up but take it from a guy...
We have an amazing ability to separate sex, commitment and love.
This post is not meant to scare you or bash men - I will say I know without a doubt there are PLENTY of great men out there who don't act this way and they're looking for you.
My point was to inform you so you're better equipped to make a great decision and to spare you all the hurt and pain.
HOW you use this information is entirely up to you.
I understand that some of you may already be dating or in a relationship with a guy who falls somewhere in the list above (minus the true players of course) so you DEFINITELY want to know:
- If it's fixable
- If it's worth saving.
- If he's actually the right guy for you and...
- HOW it can be saved so the relationship starts working better than ever before.
This is where the smart darling Rori Raye comes into your life and you're going to thank her for it. (Not me - I'm just the messenger.)
Here's HER plan and how it can work for you and what it's going to do for your relationship.
She's can show you hot to transform your man from toxic to loving in the 3 steps:
- Figure out if he's truly toxic or making lots of mistakes.
- Learn how to stop treat the symptoms.
- Start transforming him
The plan is simple but brilliant and in no way does it involve trying to directly CHANGE your man because that will only push him away.
All you have to do is start changing the NATURE of the RELATIONSHIP and he will WANT to change for it because he'll enjoy being with you so much.
Here's where you can check out her plan in more detail and how it's going to help you to start enjoying your relationship like never before:
For those of you who are not currently seeing someone and were just looking for what guys to avoid dating... very cool but I have a sneaky suspicion you wouldn't be here if you haven't made some bad choices in the past and you're looking to change all that so it NEVER happens again.
Since I'm not sure exactly what your problem is or was I will say that attracting one of the good guys ALWAYS starts with these steps:
- LEARN Why Dating Is Tough and Attraction and Relationships Are Easy. This will help you rid yourself of limited beliefs which are holding you back.
- FIND out how to be Happy with Yourself and Who You Are, Be the Best You Can at Any Given Moment and Expect No More. This will help you LOVE yourself first and unconditionally so you're open to others loving you back.
- FIGURE out Where and How To Meet Him – Your Next Date - The right guy for you. This will help you meet GOOD guys who don't fall into the list above and allow you to connect with him naturally and easily.
- UNDERSTAND The Secret to EASY Relationships That Happen Naturally… COMMUNICATION! This will help you set up an easier life - get what you want out of it - and build a foundation to a happier relationship.
- KNOW What You Must Communicate to YOURSELF and How You Can Do it. This will help you narrow down what you want and help you get in touch with your feelings so you can better express them to a guy so you can connect with him more securely and emotionally too.
- GET the Skill on How You Can Communicate To Others More Effectively. More getting what you want out of life but more importantly show you how to be more understood by others to get your point across more effectively and clearly. Helps to avoid lots of problems that arise in dating, relationships, and in life too.
- USE those skills to learn the important skill of Communicating Attractively. You can't just say things and expect it all to work out - you have to convey your MESSAGE to your right guy in a way which brings him closer and allows him to connect with you on a much deeper and emotional level.
BUT WAIT... I know the task seems daunting - like a lot of work - maybe you're not ready or can't find the time to do it all however it's safe to assume you're already close than you believe AND you won't need massive amounts of work in every area.
Actually the process is relatively quick for most.
I explain each section in full details here based on my experience and knowledge:
There are lots of links to help you in each area but some are helpful books you will have to buy for a more in-depth solution.
I think you'll find it works amazingly well.
If you're looking for the full course to help you in each area so you can start from beginning to end and is built by one of the top experts who specializes in getting you the relationship you want and deserve then you can check out my delightful and rather smart affiliate:
"Enjoy Dating, Flirting, and Connecting with Men… And Create Passionate, Unconditional LOVE In 7 EASY steps"
- Image by Reead found at Pexels.
- Toxic Man: 3 Steps To Transforming Your Man From “Toxic” To “Loving” - Product info by Rori Raye.
- Rori Raye - Have The Relationship You Want free newsletter.
- Meet & Attract Him – Communication Skills & Forming Easy Relationships - Opening page at Meet & Attract Him - by me, Peter White.
- Peter White - About me page here at Why Do guys.
- Believe In Love - Learn How to Live Freely Without Fear and Sadness
- Evan Marc Katz - His premiere product, "Why Men Disappear".
Related articles you might be interested in reading here at Why Do Guys: