Plz telll when a guy plays such ignore games ,how should we girls react or behave.its so confusing. plzzz guide.
There seems to be a problem or question that keeps popping up here… Women feeling ignored and they don’t know what to do about it.
First we must figure out if it as a game or not. That is, if you’re actually being ignored on purpose and if that specific game is a smaller part of a greater scheme a man might play.
I can honestly say, whether you believe it or not, MOST men do knowingly NOT PLAY GAMES. They don’t have a greater scheme in mind. They’re not thinking that far ahead. They wouldn’t know how to accomplish a feat that great anyways. Read this if you want The ONLY Way To Spot A Real Player and If He’s Using Your Body for Sex
Think about how hard it is to play such a grand role in someone’s life to which all that could be accomplished.
Okay sure it happens but it’s not the norm nor is it most guys goal to put so much time and energy and effort into it. Game playing is a lot of work.
With that said, let’s skip the massive “game playing” answer.
You’ll find the all the reasons guys ignore women in my series: Why Men Go Silent
Most men ignore women for a few reasons based on their relationship with them:
#1 reason… You’re in a relationship and the communication has broken down.
He’s sick of listening to you. He doesn’t feel heard. He doesn’t feel like he has a say anyways. He even might feel like whatever he says will only cause another fight anyways.
He chooses to ignore or be silent either out of frustration or play the passive aggressive role because it’s what he always did anyways or he doesn’t know what else to do.
There’s no simple answer for this because it falls on both of you to learn how to communicate with each other and to both be ready and accept that your relationship, if it’s going to be saved, needs real work.
If I could solve this kind of ignoring problem in a sentence or paragraph I would but that’s impossible.
Look and research these people or articles to get you started in learning how to communicate with your spouse. They ARE just some the best.
From Katie and Gay Hendricks:
“These aren’t skills we “know how to do” on our own. Most of us just imitate whatever we witnessed in our childhoods.”
What Happened To The Incredible Connection The Two Of You Shared?
“Ignoring Your Loved One’s Feelings Will ALWAYS Have A Negative Effect On Your Relationship.”
Phrases That Kill Intimacy
You’re doing everything for him and he won’t even meet you half way. You’re missing the big tickets items in your relationship. You’re just not satisfied in with what is happening in your relationship.
Stop Overfunctioning and Get The Love and Relationship You Do Deserve
He’s good friends with someone and it just happens to be a woman. You can stop talking about her. You can start changing your energy and stop being so combative over it.
If He Is Friends With Another Woman – What to Do and How To Handle It
From Dr. Phil:
What type of communication pattern have you and your partner developed within your relationship?
A Relationship Communication Test from Dr. Phil
From Help Guide. A trusted non-profit guide to mental health and well-being:
These tips can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or repair trust and love in a relationship on the rocks.
Advice for Building Relationships that are Healthy, Happy and Satisfying
#2 reason… You’re NOT in a relationship and you’re just casually dating.
This case is a little more complicated but I’d say it’s most likely because you’re not being ignored. He’s just living his life, probably dating others, and you’re contacting him more than he cares to answer.
Perhaps he feels smothered or believes if he answers you every time you’ll believe it’s a relationship or misread that he’s ready to commit when he’s not.
This leaves us with these two sub-reasons:
A. You’re not being ignored and contact him more than he cares to answer. You’re not giving him a good reason to answer. He doesn’t feel compelled to answer and is most likely receiving several messages or calls daily from many different women.
B. He’s not interested, ready, or willing to enter a meaningful relationship with you at this time and feels answering you too much will only lead you to believe he is. He’s not ready to give up more of his time to you. He’s not ready to “be” there for you under most circumstances.
Both A and B tend to be true when the woman is too needy, acts too desperate to have a relationship, is too self-centered, or possibly is living an overly dramatic lifestyle causing him to avoid most contacts.
How to deal with this problem first starts with figuring out if it’s A or B.
If it’s A then we need to take a closer look into what, when, and how many times you’re contacting him and other guys too. This could be a circling pattern. When you meet a guy you go into another mode or state of mind which has you acting automatically and it’s failing you.
As a guy I can say, early on or after meeting a guy, sending or contacting less is better. Sure you’re going to scare some guys away but those guys may not be the one you’re looking for anyways. They tend to be in relationship mode too early on anyways and bluntly put, tend to take a feminine role leaving you all the masculine work.
We need to learn to miss you and think about you or what you’re doing or WHO you’re doing it with. We need to left on a high note and left wanting more. Our interactions need to be short and as powerful as they can be.
We also need to be generally teased. I’m not saying to go quickly into giving us blue balls but create a sexual connection early on but don’t follow through with it. This connection does not have to be physical but it helps. Use THAT connection to send random messages you don’t plan on responding too.
If it’s B then you need to find a way to objectively look into your life, how you live it, how much you truly love yourself, where you think you are, and where you want to be.
B sucks. I know it does. Been there and done that. 🙂
All I can say is that it IS worth doing the work. It pays off in many areas of your life AND it has a strange side effect on your life…
Even if it doesn’t center around dating and guys and relationships, those things tend to naturally take care of themselves IF you keep putting yourself in the right positions to meet the type of guys you’re looking for.
This means, early on I tried to solve my “woman” problems by burying my self into my music and also my passion to become a better than average golfer. It failed because I used them as an excuse to seclude myself from meeting people.
Those two things, when used differently and from a stronger sense of value in myself, helped me to succeed because I started using those talents differently and made sure they were used to help me meet more women and not seclude myself as a distraction from the real problem.
#3 reason: He doesn’t feel good enough or capable of dating you or being with you.
Early on, the women I wanted to most I ignored. Not because I was playing a game but because I didn’t want to be like every other guy kissing her ass and trying to get in her pants.
Of course little did I know I was ruining my chances entirely. Haha!
Guys WILL ignore women they want the most because they do not feel capable (or worthy or good enough) and will either sabotage themselves or avoid her. They pre-reject themselves to lessen the pain.
Even if you manage to start talking to this guy you’ll find he is always a little distant or not responsive and I can see how easily you might be confused by what he’s doing.
But the fact remains, he’s doing it for his own reasons with only have to do with you in the sense that he can not believe you’ll ever want to be with him.
Unfortunately this type of guy is EVERYWHERE.
HE can even be a guy you think is good with women just because he has a natural ability to attract women.
The fact is, deep down inside this guy, he is sabotaging himself constantly because he can never admit or is not willing boost his esteem high enough to get through it all AND in the meantime his ignorance or silent towards you, only has you (probably) wanting him more.
Dealing with or solving number 3 is not easy. You can NOT make or force someone to change themselves from within.
My few suggestions would be to first, NOT treat him like a child. You do not want to over nurture him or act like a Mother to him at all. This will only make him see his efforts are working on you and he will continue doing them.
Secondly, do not restrict yourself to dating just him. Date other men at the same time.
“Only again proving to me, dating multiple guys or exploring our options or securing our present FIRST proves to establish better more happier marriages.”
Third he must understand through your actions as a woman that your happiness does NOT depend on him or his mental state.
He must realize his place in the world is not only as valid as yours, but he’s also not the determining factor of you.
He must also feel your respect for him is unwavering UNLESS he does something to ruin that through not-so-nice means or games. You don’t have to put up with his bullshit if it’s affecting you negatively.
“Men cannot thrive in a deep passionate type of relationship unless they feel they have a woman’s admiration and respect.”
Never forget this type of man may NEVER be turned or made to stop ignoring you or made to suddenly become someone different.
He is who he is and until he opts to change, you may never get to this guy.
You can try anything and everything on him if you’d like but I won’t guarantee the results will be satisfying to you.
My absolute gut feeling about this reason or “type of guy” , which I will warn you lacks a certain empathy, is to sleep with him if you want sex and expect nothing more than that, push him back on your schedule until he proves he is capable and willing to act differently, or erase your connection to him entirely. In other words, seek out “better” more confident men immediately.
Wow!!! Once again I’ve gone too far with words. 🙂
Most men don’t play games, especially when it comes to ignoring the one thing they need in their lives… women!
Sure, a few of them do it on purpose because they think it’s the only way to get you but I do hope you can see right through these guys.
Sure, some of them are flaky and can’t keep a thought in their for more than five minutes if it doesn’t have something to do with typical man things.
But most of all it’s an indirect consequence of:
- A breakdown in communication between a couple.
- You’re in two different places. You’re casually dating and one of you isn’t clear on that or made it clear enough to the other.
- He’s sabotaging himself because he doesn’t feel good enough to be with you.