≡ Menu
Why Do Guys…?

The First Time – What We Remember About Our First Sexual Experience

The First Time – What We Remember About Our First Sexual Experience post image

My first "real" sexual experience with a woman wasn't as terrifying as the movies made it out to be.

Who knows, maybe it's because I'm a guy and apparently the woman is "supposed" to be more afraid of losing her virginity.

Well you know us guys right? We're so desperate and anxious just to get rid of it like it's some abnormal growth we rush into it and probably don't allow the fear to get to us. Anyways it's not something we would admit to our guy friends anyways.

MY first experience is not too hard to forget... I was 14 or 15, can't remember, she was a 48-year-old bus driver missing a few teeth and smelled like a cigarette doused with whiskey.

C'mon now seriously 😉 she was my age. Gorgeous strawberry blonde with, now that I think about it, hard an amazing heart. Just an overall nice girl. Lucky me right?

Truthfully I wanted her friend and while that was not working she latched on to me quickly. It was a set up and being open to any girl who would have me and happened to be cute, I was game.

Our first time took forever. Again there's that desperation to get rid of the male stigma of being a virgin. First her friend interrupted us once, then again, then her mother, her stepfather, you're getting the picture.

Apparently every living soul in her house didn't want it to happen although I still believe they didn't have a clue or more to the point, didn't want to see the truth that two young teenagers in a room were hooking up beyond just feeling each other up.

Well finally it happened... Yes! And like any other guy I was only as long as I could physically be. Give a guy a break already.

Thinking back now I can not remember the exact moment. Maybe that says something about it but it DID feel great. Certainly worth every minute or second and definitely put me on a path of strong sexual desires which has never decreased.

I also wasn't against making her a part of it. She tasted great and it didn't take me long to figure out the best, more satisfying way to enter her was to first enjoy every part of her body.

To me, that's what sex was and for the majority of my sexual experiences still exists today... Explore her entire body, every inch, and make sure I get to see her truly enjoy that first inch or moment of penetration.

You see us guys, assuming I'm no different but just more willing to admit, THAT moment when we get to look in her eyes as they slowly close is very important to us because it becomes something greater than just two people doing it. It turns into a real experience where we're actually "sharing" sex.

Believe it or not, I want to say most "normal" or "average" guys realize something very early on, we don't all have the most control over when IT happens for us, I mean we can only hold out for so long; we learn what it takes for THAT to happen so "getting her off" becomes the real mission.

The mission (and just maybe it has something to do with it being called the "missionary" position) for lots of guys is HER enjoyment FIRST.

"You would think the first experience would keep us happy. Stop us from straying or at least be enough reason to only ever want to be with the one we love but..."

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

Take a guy who doesn't know or understand how to make it happen and the path he takes might turn into a "pumper" who has just given up on the task on hand out of the frustration of not knowing how to do it.

He could also become the "serial sex con artist" whose mission or goal is based on how many women he can sleep with. Her enjoyment in his mind doesn't seem to be as important because to him, women are merely numbers to boost his confidence. He doesn't or can't feel like a real man unless he can get the NEXT one after her.

In my mind most guys are average in bed. Do you agree with me? 🙂

Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's amazing. Sometimes it's just better than doing it yourself.

Sometimes it has to happen because you can't think straight unless it does but sometimes after it happens you can't stop thinking about it or him.

Okay, unfortunately it goes a little deeper for guys....

My first sexual experience DID teach me something me, or men and that is not only I suppose the "mission" BUT how our memories work so many years later.

What we remember about the first time seems to set us up for life.

We can become the learner. The seeker. The experimenter. A guy who is willing to get better at it and even after a failure somehow manage to not let it ruin our life.

We can become disengaged. Confused. Build our confidence strictly on the details. How if we're too small, too big, too quick, too long, too frustrated... Eventually fearing each and every future interaction only to feel worse if it doesn't or didn't happen for her.

Leading us to believe our masculinity depends on it yet we're not willing to do something about it because doing so only makes us even less than a man.

Whatever happened before or after we DO remember it for a very long time.

Maybe not the same details you remember. You'd be better at telling me that than I would be at guessing.

I CAN remember HOW it felt. Her face. Her naked body. How she tasted. How good or bad I was...

But I can't remember the outside details. I remember where, but the surroundings that evening remain secretly hid somewhere in my head.

I remember how that moment came about. How long it took to happen.

Yet I definitely do NOT remember the exact moment when it ended almost like it's still going on and I'm forever linked to keeping it alive for as long as possible.

Maybe that explains mine, and lots of other guys insatiable sexual desires, to do it as much as we can. 😉

I remember how I wasn't scared. I wasn't worried that I didn't know how to do it.

Sure I was mislead and had some pretty crazy shit stuffed in my brain of what it was supposed to be, but something very naturally took over and led me in, (and out.)

My first sexual experience STILL holds a place in my memory and perhaps, all things considered, does still affect me or has had some say in who I am today.

For guys, because I don't think I'm alone or that unique here...

Their first time has affected them one way or another and had something to do with the guy you see today.

The next guy you see, someone you're not sure about, try something for me, and I don't care if you think or believe it's not all about sex, imagine HIS first time and what it had to do with the guy you see today.

(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
2 comments… add one
  • Jian Gedrick

    As a guy I can tell you it doesn’t hold a place in my head for me

  • Jian Gedrick

    Speak for yourself when you say we DO remember for a long time. Not true for me

Leave a Comment