My first "real" sexual experience with a woman wasn't as terrifying as the movies made it out to be. Who knows, maybe it's because I'm a guy and apparently the woman is "supposed" to be more afraid of losing her virginity.
We're so eagerly desperate and anxious just to get rid of it like it's some abnormal growth that we rush into it and probably don't allow the fear to get to us.
Anyways it's not something we "normally" would admit to our guy friends anyways... that is of not knowing what we're doing and how to do it right.
MY first experience is not too hard to forget... I was 14 or 15, can't remember, she was a 48-year-old bus driver missing a few teeth and smelled like a half-smoked cigarette doused in whiskey.
She was around my age. Strawberry blonde with, now that I think about it, had an amazingly kind heart. Just an overall nice girl.
Actually - the truth is... I first wanted her friend and while that was not working at all she (the girl I lost my virginity to) latched on to me quickly. It was a set up from the beginning and being open to any girl who would have me and happened to be cute, I was game and "semi" okay with it.
Our first time took forever to happen. At least it felt that way.
Again there's that desperation to get rid of the male stigma of being a virgin. First her friend interrupted us once, then again, then her mother, her stepfather, I think you're getting the picture.
Apparently every living soul in her house didn't want it to happen although I still believe they didn't have a clue or more to the point, didn't want to see the truth that two young teenagers in a room were hooking up beyond just feeling each other up.
Well it FINALLY happened one fateful day... Yes!
And like any other guy I could only last as long as to be expected. Let's just say it was over just after it started.
Thinking back now I can not remember the exact moment. Maybe that says something about it but it DID feel great. Certainly worth every minute or second and definitely put me on a path of strong sexual desires which has never decreased to this day.
I also wasn't against making her a part of it. She tasted great and it didn't take me long to figure out the best, most satisfying way to enter her was to first enjoy every part of her body.
To me, that's what sex was and for the majority of my sexual experiences still exists today...
Explore her entire body, every inch, and make sure I get to see her truly enjoy that first inch or moment of penetration.
You see us guys, assuming I'm no different but just more willing to admit, THAT moment when we get to look in her eyes as they slowly close is very important to us because it becomes something greater than just two people doing it. It turns into a real experience where we're actually "sharing" sex.
Believe it or not, I want to say most "normal" or "average" guys realize something very early on, we don't all have the most control over when IT happens for us, I mean we can only hold out for so long; we learn what it takes for THAT to happen so "getting her off" becomes the real mission.
The mission (and just maybe it has something to do with it being called the "missionary" position) for lots of guys is HER enjoyment FIRST.
Take a guy who doesn't know or understand how to make it happen and the path he takes might turn him into a "pumper" who has just given up on the task on hand out of the shear exhausting frustration of not knowing how to do it.
He could also become the "serial sex con artist" whose mission or goal is based on how many women he can sleep with. Her enjoyment in his mind doesn't seem to be as important because to him, women are merely numbers to boost his confidence. He doesn't or can't feel like a real man unless he can get to the NEXT one after her.
In my mind most guys are average in bed. Do you agree with me?
Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's amazing. Sometimes it's just better than doing it yourself.
Sometimes it has to happen because you can't think straight unless it does but sometimes after it happens you can't stop thinking about it or him.
Okay, unfortunately it goes a little deeper for guys....
My first sexual experience DID teach me something me, or men and that is not only I suppose the "mission" BUT how our memories work so many years later.
What we remember about the first time seems to set us up for life.
We can become the learner. The seeker. The experimenter. A guy who is willing to get better at it and even after a failure yet somehow manage to not let it ruin our life.
We can become disengaged. Confused. Build our confidence strictly on the details. How if we're too small, too big, too quick, too long, too frustrated... Eventually fearing each and every future interaction only to feel worse if it doesn't or didn't happen for her.
Leading us to believe our masculinity depends on it yet we're not willing to do something about it because doing so only makes us feel even less than a man.
Whatever happened before or after we DO remember it for a very long time at least a vast majority of guys do.
Maybe not the same details you remember. You'd be better at telling me that than I would be at guessing.
I CAN remember HOW it felt. Her face. Her naked body. How she tasted. How good or bad I was...
But I can't remember the outside details. I remember where, but the surroundings that evening remain secretly hid somewhere in my head.
I remember how that moment came about.
How long it took to happen.
Yet I definitely do NOT remember the exact moment when it ended almost like it's still going on and I'm forever linked to keeping it alive for as long as possible.
Maybe that explains mine, and lots of other guys insatiable sexual desires, to do it as much as we can.
I remember how I wasn't scared. I wasn't worried that I didn't know how to do it.
Sure I was misled and had some pretty crazy shit stuffed in my brain of what it was supposed to be, but something very naturally took over and led me in... and out.
My first sexual experience STILL holds a place in my memory and perhaps, all things considered, does still affect me or has had some say or part in who I am today.
For guys, because I don't think I'm alone or that unique here...
Their first time has affected them one way or another and had something to do with the guy you see today.
Even if they won't or refuse to admit it publicly.
The next guy you see, someone you're not sure about, try something for me, and I don't care if you think or believe it's not all about sex, imagine HIS first time and what it had to do with the guy you see today.
I bet you'll see him in a whole different way.
The point today was not only to reveal the relocation of the first time I had sex but also to give you a slight glimpse into the sexual mind of men and quite possibly what makes them tick.
Guys tend to hold on to feelings for a long time whether it's sexual or love - it's also why guys tend to take a little longer to fully commit to a woman.
They know once they completely fall for her, if it doesn't work out he could be burdened with those emotions for years.
Today's post is merely my perspective and some general assumptions about men because honestly - we do NOT talk about these things with other guys UNLESS it's a very disturbing and funny story to tell AND it doesn't make us look that bad.
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