Why He Might Be Attracted To You But Not Interested In A Relationship

Man Attracted Woman No Want Relationship

Hi Pete ,

Thank you very much for the advice. It means a lot to me and it really clear out my confusion . I never think that attraction and interest is a totally different subjects .

One more question , you said Men can feel physically attracted to a woman but not be interested and there’s a ton of reasons as to why that could happen.

Do you mind to expand this explanation for me , or maybe list several reasons why a man would be physically attracted to a woman , but not interested to commit a romantic relationship with her?

One more question , if that guy is only physically attracted to me for now , is it possible that he will be interested in committing an romantic relationship with me ?

If you think it is possible , is there anything I can try ?

Based on your advice, I know that I should move on and look for other guys instead , but I am wondering if I can still " wait for that guy " while looking for more options?

Or do you think it will does more harm to me ?

Again thank you very much for taking time to give advice. I really appreciate it !


Hi Yogeda and you're very welcome.

Physical attraction is normally a sight thing. A guy will see you and find you attractive... or not. There's no thinking about it all.

It just happens and is beyond his control. Nature has given men an instinctual trigger which makes them FEEL this way.

A man doesn't decide to be attracted to you which also makes it impossible for you to talk a man into feeling it.

The thought process always comes after and based on many things a man will then decide if he's interested in you... or not.

There are many factors which will push him one way or another.

Some of them are about you:

  • Your personality.
  • The way you interact with him.
  • Having or sharing common interests.
  • How you communicate yourself to him.
  • How you feel about yourself.
  • How you respond to him.
  • How you make him feel about himself.

Some are about him:

  • What he thinks he's looking for in a woman.
  • Where he is in his life.
  • How he feels about himself.
  • HIS past experiences with women.

A man's interest in you tends to go beyond your look or physical appearance but you will find some guys can and will lose an interest based on your appearance.

From all that it's very easy to see how a guy might be physically attracted to you but not interested in dating you or wanting a relationship.

But wait... it goes a little further.

A man can lose his interest in you during the dating process but still FEEL a strong physical attraction.

A man can also be physically attracted, interested, and want to date you BUT that still might not ever lead to a relationship.

How and when a guy is ready, willing, and capable of committing to you is something else entirely.


You CAN engage or make him more interested in you through your appearance or how you physically interact with him, but that rarely leads to anything more and is not advisable as something to try on a guy you're looking for something more than just a physical affair.

If his interest in you leads to a real connection and many other things are in place - that is when it can turn into a relationship.

Rarely - if ever - will a purely physical connection go there without that interest and a real special connection built on communication.

I'll tell you a story from my life to help explain it all a little better for you.

I met this woman before I got married.  I was definitely physically attracted to her. We talked a little and it was enough for me to think about her and had a possible interest in dating her.

The physical or instant attraction is there and so was a little interest.

After she left I thought a little about out past, who she was, where I thought she was going in life, what kind of life we'd be living if we were to hook up and/or start to date.

I even thought about her past boyfriends, her Father, and her Mother. I had met of few of them.

Then something strange popped in my head - I remember how she was a little overly emotional about things I found trivial and unimportant.

Suddenly, based on all that and a little more - my interest in her went down while my attraction for her stayed the same.

Here's where it gets real interesting.

I know for a fact we DO share some common interests. I came name about three or four things we both LOVE to do which would make it easy for us to meet up and share some good times.

She also appears or comes off as a faithful woman which is important to ALL men. She doesn't seem to be a woman who would ever cheat on a guy.


And here's where men THINK their way closer to a woman or much further away.

She's a little young. Pretty. In-demand from other guys.

Remember the overly emotional reactions I mentioned above?

This leads me to believe she gets in relationships too quickly.

She's seems more likely to make a quick judgement based purely on a few emotional moments which lead to a long-term commitment BEFORE she's actually ready and that is not the "type" of woman I was looking for something more than just a physical casual thing.

All those doubts created chipped away my interest in her leaving me still physically attracted to her, but not wanting to explore anything more than just that with her.

This a generally how it happens for guys.

We feel. We explore or get to know her. We think about all sorts of things based on our personal wants and our past experiences.

Our interest will then go up or down based on our thoughts.

It doesn't end there - it continually cycles through over and over again the more or less we're feeling.

All that is quite easy to understand.

It only gets very complicated (for some) when you confuse a few things like:

  • A general interest in you.
  • Interest in a relationship for himself.
  • Interested in a relationship with YOU.
  • Mistaking common interest for real interest.
  • A man can be interested in you and still not interested in a relationship with you.
  • A man can be interested in you AND a relationship with you, commit to you, still be physically attracted to you and as all that cycles through his feel/thought process lose it all which might feel like in an instant BECAUSE...

Something very important is missing:


If I had truly connected with that woman above through the heart, I would've been much more likely to overlook the overly emotional stuff I saw and learned to work it all in as I moved my way towards a relationship with her.

BUT we never connected that way.

I didn't like some things about her so I didn't try to connect with her any deeper.

Since she didn't try or more likely didn't know how or she possibly didn't want to...

The connection never happened and I walked away NEVER to look back again.

Mind you I'm STILL a guy which means if she came to me after all this went down and offered her body to me - I would've taken her up on that offer and left it there happily.

IF, after the sex she realized she wanted more and went into her INSTANT RELATIONSHIP mode which I knew she was the type to do it, she would've only pushed me further away causing her pain and me distress as I would try to explain it all to her in a "nice" way.


With the interest there - we shared some time together.

With the physical attraction there - we flirted, fooled around, etc...

With my doubts in her personality wise - I pulled away because I wasn't sure if it was worth figuring out how to get past it and turn it into something more.


Without a REAL CONNECTION of our hearts it was NEVER going to change my mind or have me feeling something more than a purely physical, slight interest with her which means my actions would've never progressed towards a committed relationship.

If she were to believe my words or actions (the interest and attraction) as me wanting something more and she started to feel it - she'd only become confused, possibly upset, frustrated, and would start to act on those feelings which in turn would only push me further because I wasn't there - without that connection.

The darling relationship expert Rori Raye explains that connection to me in a way which opened my eyes. You can read it here:

"You can’t go through his mind.

You can’t go through his body.

You can’t go down the spiritual road either."

The Right & Wrong Ways To Try and Connect With A Man

Let's finish the rest of your question...

Waiting for a guy is NEVER the best option if you want to find what you're looking for from a guy.

It's the word "waiting" which is wrong because it implies putting YOUR life on hold.

Change the word "wait" to "Maybe, we'll see... let's leave the option open." and that would satisfy the agreement to "wait".

Putting your life "on hold" should NEVER be an option for you or any woman.

However, leaving an option open for a later time is okay as long as you're still dating other guys and are not overly obsessed with the one guy you're leaving open, AND you're figuring out new ways to connect with him that change the dynamics of your interactions with him.

In other words...

If you can not get him out of your head and your thoughts are stopping you from living your life and exploring other REAL options AND you're dismissing your needs because of it - then it's the RIGHT TIME TO MOVE ON... IMMEDIATELY!

As for the TRYING part...

Trying to get a guy to become interested in you IF there's already a strong attraction to you:

I don't like the word "try" but of course there are many things you can DO to get a guy interested in something more with you.

And that ALWAYS starts with YOU.

Stay or become interested in yourself FIRST.

Create Habits That Naturally Attract Men

  1. Make him work for it.
  2. Be his number one fan.
  3. Build those inner roads.
  4. Make it OK for him to disagree with you.
  5. Tune into his needs.
  6. Don’t neglect yourself.
  7. Keep him busy in the bedroom.

These 7 Habits Will Show You How To Keep Him Interested In You Forever

Increase his Desire for You

Getting a man to desire you beyond the physical is a great way to increase his interest in you:

Desire Principles - 6 Tricks That Women Use To Make Men Crazy About Them

Activate his Hero Instinct

Guys fall for women who know how to trigger an attraction tripwire known as the hero instinct.

DOWNLOAD Your Free PDF: The Secret to Understanding Male Attraction Triggers - No email required.

I've also posted the web version here at why do guys:

The Secret to Understanding Male Attraction Triggers & How It's Done

Lastly or in conclusion:

Men FEEL instant physical attraction for a woman which is beyond their control. You trigger them mostly by sight alone.

Interest comes after or during the thought process.

As a man cycles through the feelings and thinking his interest can either go up or down based on many things.

Some are about you.

Some are about him.

A guy's interest in a relationship with you is slightly different. He can be interested in you but not interested or ready for a relationship.

He can also be ready and interested in a relationship with a woman but that unfortunately does not guarantee he's interested or wants one with you.

Other factors come into play and is often under the not-mentioned category of "intention" which is only lightly covered in the newsletter and will be revealed at a later time.

The MOST important factor then becomes the CONNECTION you make with a man which has to be through his HEART and only in that way, will he want and feel compelled to fight and do things to make the relationship happen.

How To Connect To His Heart

Rori Raye can show you EXACTLY how it's done so you can make the right connection as soon as possible:

Have The Relationship You Want - Men Fall In Love With Your Heart

If you're not ready to purchase her book, you can hop on her free newsletter right here and decide later.

As for the reader who asked this question:

NEVER wait for a guy.

You can keep him as an option if and ONLY if certain things are securely in place.

Getting a guy to become interested in you always starts with YOU first.

First make sure you ARE interested in yourself.

Build a lifestyle and some healthy habits which naturally engage a man's interest in you.

Communicate that and more to him and you'll find lots of guys can not only become instantly (physically) attracted to you BUT also interested in you.

THEN learn how to connect with him in that special way and watch that interest and attraction turn into intention, desire, and a determined need to become closer to you.

Thank You For Sharing

Understanding Any Man Starts Here, Right Now!

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This article was posted in Is He Interested In You? Does He Like You? Signs & Signals Of Attraction, Read His Mind – What Men Are Really Thinking & How To See His Thoughts

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27 comments… add one
  • Angie

    I was talking to this guy I really liked. He seemed to have an interest in me until after the third date and I asked him if I did something to turn him off. He told me that he only had a physical attraction to me. I just don’t understand how someone could immediately have an emotional connection with someone you’re just meeting. Why would someone make a decision to date someone exclusively or think they are a good match within a few dates. It just doesn’t make since to me. I thought you would like someone physically first and then the connection would come afterwards? Is that not right? I feel like this just makes dating even more complicated. It really sucks for me because I’m seen as an attractive person. Most guys have a physical attraction for me. But I’m so sick of being matched with people who don’t even care to get to know me. I just wish guys would like me for me. I mean and guys I talk to say they like my personality but aren’t interested in being with me. A lot of them or even all of them have said that and I just don’t understand. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something about my personality that’s a turn off? I just don’t understand.

  • A

    Hey, I recently started hanging out with this boy, he’s 21 and I am 19 going on 20. I liked him about 4 years ago but nothing really happened. This time, he approached me first through Instagram DM after I found him and followed him again. We started talking and our personalities matched perfectly. We hung out and it went great on my end, we get a long very well. Through the past 3 weeks of this, I could tell he was getting less invested. He got upset one day because I hung out with my friends and didn’t ask him to hang out which later he apologized for, but this is the only thing I could think of as a reason for him to feel differently. Last night I hung out with him and poured out my real feelings and he was very harsh and said he did not like me like that anymore and it’s not that deep anymore. He said it could never be anything more than friends but he still thinks I’m attractive and likes my personality because we always get along. He says something turned it off for him but he doesn’t know what and once the door is closed it can never be opened again for him. But it’s just not adding up to me… if the attraction and personalities match, it doesn’t make sense. Please give me some insight because this is eating me up inside.

  • Nono

    I met this guy a while back. I approached him and told him i liked him. He said he is attracted to me but is getting over a girl. He wants to see if there is more but is making no promises. Now it has been almost two months. He says he likes me and finds me attractive physically but nothing has changed. Am i waisting my time? How much time should i give if any?

    • Hey to you too Nono.

      I wouldn’t give him any time at all because yes, you will most likely be wasting it.

      Men, more than generally, want to be the chaser or hunter. He wasn’t or is not being given the chance to do so here. He wants to feel like he can win over the “girl” of his dreams, whomever she may be.

      This is just one reason why you’re not getting any promises from him among other things.

      When he said he’s getting over a girl, it means he’s still has deep feelings for her and is not ready to let her go.

      When he said he wants to see if there’s something more, it means he feels you two are not going anywhere and he can not see it changing anytime in the future.

      He finds you attractive and physically appealing so he’ll “accept” whatever intimacy may come from it but, unless the interactions and dynamics change drastically between you and him, it will stay there until another comes along which has what he’s looking for.

      Sorry for the bad news but I feel you can handle it and use it in some way to help you decide what comes next for you.

      Wising you all the best.

      Don’t forget to dig deep into all the posts here at why do guys because I guarantee there is plenty of advice to help you change the dynamics with men that I talked about above.

      Maybe not with this guy because it would not be too advised, possible, but may complicate things – but definitely with the next men you’re going to meet in your life.

      Thanks for asking and appreciate you coming to me to help you.

  • Kookie

    Hi Pete:
    I met someone recently. I am attracted to him and I want to have a relationship with him. We’ve had some great conversations about culture, our interests and values. I thought we really connected well. In our last conversation, I talked about my ex and how he just used me for his own good. We parted okay that day, but I haven’t seen him again since then. I clean the space where he has a designated desk. He stopped coming since our conversation. He also never asked for my name, which is a sign that he is not interested in me other than having a conversation. Was it a turn off that I talked about my ex?

    • Hi Kookie,

      Yes, talking about your ex in this context wasn’t a good thing. Save it for later when you’re dating and ONLY exploring each other’s past, or don’t mention it all unless he asks.

      Some men forget to ask for a name so that’s not that of a big deal. Especially if he’s a type two. I mean, it’s good when it happens, just don’t read too much into it at this time.

      Your comment came at a good time because of a few posts I’ve been updating on connecting with a man. Having a great conversation does mean something but it’s not necessarily the right kind of connection you want to create with a guy for something more.

      Please read these two:

      The Right & Wrong Way To Try And Connect With A Man

      Three Ways You’ll Push A Man Away – How To Inspire His Total Devotion

      And take note to these:

      “You can shine during a discussion and you have a lot in common. You’ll impress a man and make him enjoy your company, but you may feel disappointed to learn that he feels no CHEMISTRY.

      That’s because when you try to connect with a man through his mind, he doesn’t FEEL a thing!”


      “It would only makes sense to connect with them through their “male” brains like another guy might do, but this won’t work because it will never create the chemistry needed to get him to FEEL something more than he would a close friend.”

      Thanks for your great question Kookie and all the best to you.

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