Hi Pete ,
One more question , you said “Men can feel physically attracted to a woman but not be interested and there’s a ton of reasons as to why that could happen.”
Do you mind to expand this explanation for me , or maybe list several reasons why a man would be physically attracted to a woman , but not interested to commit a romantic relationship with her?
One more question , if that guy is only physically attracted to me for now , is it possible that he will be interested in committing an romantic relationship with me ?
If you think it is possible , is there anything I can try ?
Based on your advice, I know that I should move on and look for other guys instead , but I am wondering if I can still " wait for that guy " while looking for more options?
Or do you think it will does more harm to me ?
Again thank you very much for taking time to give advice. I really appreciate it !
Hi Yogeda and you're very welcome.
Physical attraction is normally a sight thing. A guy will see you and find you attractive... or not. There's no thinking about it all.
It just happens and is beyond his control. Nature has given men an instinctual trigger which makes them FEEL instantly attracted to a woman.
A man doesn't decide to be attracted to you which also makes it impossible for you to talk a man into feeling it.
The thought process always comes after and based on many things a man will decide if he's interested in you... or not.
There are many factors which will push him one way or another.
Some of them are about you:
- Your personality.
- The way you interact with him.
- Having or sharing common interests.
- How you communicate yourself to him.
- How you feel about yourself.
- How you respond to him.
- How you make him feel about himself.
Some are about him:
- What he thinks he's looking for in a woman.
- Where he is in his life.
- How he feels about himself.
- HIS past experiences with women.
A man's interest in you tends to go beyond your look or physical appearance but you will find some guys can and will lose an interest based on your appearance.
From all that it's very easy to see how a guy might be physically attracted to you but not interested in dating you or wanting a relationship.
But wait... it goes a little further.
A man can lose his interest in you during the dating process but still FEEL a strong physical attraction.
A man can also be physically attracted, interested, and want to date you BUT that still might not ever lead to a relationship.
How and when a guy is ready, willing, and capable of committing to you is something else entirely.
You CAN engage or make him more interested in you through your appearance or how you physically interact with him, but that rarely leads to anything more and is not advisable as something to try on a guy you're looking for something more than just a physical affair.
If his interest in you leads to a real connection and many other things are in place - that is when it can turn into a relationship.
Rarely - if ever - will a purely physical connection go there without that interest and a real special connection built on communication.
I'll tell you a story from my life to help explain it all a little better for you.
I met this woman I got to know better a while ago. Well before I got married. I was definitely physically attracted to her. We talked a little and it was enough for me to think about her and a possible interest in dating her.
The physical or instant attraction is there and so was a little interest.
After she left I thought a little about out past, who she was, where I thought she was going in life, what kind of life we'd be living if we were to hook up and/or start to date.
I even thought about her past boyfriends, her Father, and her Mother. I had met of few of them.
Then something strange popped in my head - I remember how she was a little overly emotional about things I found trivial and unimportant.
Suddenly, based on all that and a little more - my interest in her went down while my attraction for her stayed the same.
Here's where it gets real interesting.
I know for a fact we DO share some common interests. I came name about three or four things we both LOVE to do which would make it easy for us to meet up and share some good times.
She also appears or comes off as a faithful woman which is important to ALL men. She doesn't seem to be a woman who would ever cheat on a guy.
BUT... and here's where men THINK their way closer to a woman or much further away.
She's a little young. Pretty. In-demand from other guys.
Remember the overly emotional reactions I mentioned above?
This leads me to believe she gets in relationships too quickly.
She's seems more likely to make a quick judgement based purely on a few emotional moments which lead to a long-term commitment BEFORE she's actually ready and that is not the "type" of woman I'm looking for something more than a physical casual thing.
Lots of doubt is created which chips away my interest in her leaving me still physically attracted to her, but not wanting to explore anything more than just that with her.
This a generally how it happens for guys.
We feel. We explore or get to know her. We think about all sorts of things based on our personal wants and our past experiences.
Our interest will then go up or down based on our thoughts.
It doesn't end there - it continually cycles through over and over again the more or less we're feeling.
All that is quite easy to understand.
It only gets very complicated (for some) when you confuse a few things like:
- A general interest in you.
- Interest in a relationship for himself.
- Interested in a relationship with YOU.
- Mistaking common interest for real interest.
- A man can be interested in you and still not interested in a relationship with you.
- A man can be interested in you AND a relationship with you, commit to you, still be physically attracted to you and as all that cycles through his feel/thought process lose it all which might feel like in an instant BECAUSE...
Something very important is missing:
THE CONNECTION of his HEART to YOURS.
If I had truly connected with that woman above in that way (the heart) I would've been much more likely to overlook the overly emotional stuff I saw and learned to work it all in as I moved my way to a relationship with her.
BUT we never connected that way.
I didn't like some things about her so I didn't try to connect with her any deeper AND since she didn't try or more likely didn't know how or she possibly didn't want to... (yes, it evens happens to me) ...
Then that connection never happened and I walked away NEVER to look back again.
Mind you I'm STILL a guy which means if she came to me after all this went down and offered her body to me - I would've taken her up on that offer and left it there happily.
IF after the sex she realized she wanted more and went into her INSTANT RELATIONSHIP mode which I knew she was the type to do it, she would've only pushed me further away causing her pain and me distress as I would try to explain it all to her in a "nice" way.
With the interest there - we shared some time together.
With the physical attraction there - we flirted, fooled around, etc...
With my doubts in her personality wise - I pulled away because I wasn't sure if it was worth figuring out how to get past it and turn it into something more.
Without a REAL CONNECTION of our hearts it was NEVER going to change my mind or have me feeling something more than a purely physical, slight interest with her which means my actions would've never progressed towards a committed relationship.
If she were to believe my words or actions (the interest and attraction) as me wanting something more and she started to feel it - she'd only become confused, possibly upset, frustrated, and would start to act on those feelings which in turn would only push me further because I wasn't there - without that connection.
The darling relationship expert Rori Raye explains that connection to me in a way which opened my eyes and I go over them in my "editor notes" at Meet & Attract Him. You can read it here:
"You can’t go through his mind.
You can’t go through his body.
You can’t go down the spiritual road either."
Let's finish the rest of your question...
Waiting for a guy is NEVER the best option if you want to find what you're looking for from a guy.
It's the word "waiting" which is wrong because it implies putting YOUR life on hold.
Change the word "wait" to "Maybe, we'll see... let's leave the option open." and that would satisfy the agreement to "wait".
Putting your life "on hold" should NEVER be an option for you or any woman.
However leaving an option open for a later time is okay as long as you're still dating other guys and are not overly obsessed with the one guy you're leaving open AND you're figuring out new ways to connect with him that change the dynamics of your interactions with him.
In other words - if you can not get him out of your head and your thoughts are stopping you from living your life and exploring other REAL options AND you're dismissing your needs because of it - then it's the RIGHT TIME TO MOVE ON... IMMEDIATELY!
As for the TRYING part... or trying to get a guy to become interested in you IF there's already a strong attraction to you:
I don't like the word "try" but of course there are many things you can DO to get a guy interested in something more with you.
And that ALWAYS starts with YOU.
Stay or become interested in yourself FIRST.
Build some habits for yourself that naturally attract men:
- Make him work for it.
- Be his number one fan.
- Build those inner roads.
- Make it OK for him to disagree with you.
- Tune into his needs.
- Don’t neglect yourself.
- Keep him busy in the bedroom.
(Posted at Meet & Attract Him)
Here's my list which men find most attractive in a woman.
Some are physically based but others will certainly encourage or driver his interest in you IF you know how to communicate them to men.
- How you move your body - body language movement.
- The overall tone of your voice and how it sounds when you talk to guys.
- Being slightly reserved or having a somewhat shy personality.
- Having a laid back attitude - cool, calm, collected and easy to get along with.
- Showing a few quirky or slightly strange habits that are not extreme.
- An amazing and inviting smile which connects to possessing a great sense of humor.
- Dynamic and sensual eyes a man loves to stare deeply into.
- Lots of soft feminine shapes and curves to your body - in the right places.
- Competent confidence - strong self worth and belief in yourself with a healthy amount of self-esteem.
- An alluring scent which makes a guy remember you more and want to get close to you.
Here's a free ebook which reveal proven tricks to make a man desire you.
Getting a man to desire you beyond the physical is a great way to increase his interest in you:
OR you can read it here: Desire Principles - 6 Tricks That Women Use To Make Men Crazy About Them.
It was written by Slade Shaw - You can watch his video here: Why Men Pull Away.
This can help too:
"Story + Need = Activated Hero Instinct. A man's hero instinct compels him to seek a relationship that lets him take on the role of a provider.
That's why guys fall for women who know how to trigger this attraction tripwire."
Or, you can read it right here: The Secret to Understanding Male Attraction Triggers & How It's Done
Written by James Bauer (see credits below and his His Secret Obsession - The Hero Concept video here.
Don't forget - ALL this stuff and more about understanding men, his interest, attraction, desires, and how men think are always delivered to you when you sign up to the newsletter below.
Lastly or in conclusion:
Men FEEL instant physical attraction for a woman which is beyond their control. You trigger them mostly by sight alone.
Interest comes after or during the thought process.
As a man cycles through the feelings and thinking his interest can either go up or down based on many things. Some are about you. Some are about him.
A guy's interest in a relationship with you is slightly different. He can be interested in you but not interested or ready for a relationship.
He can also be ready and interested in a relationship with a woman but that unfortunately does not guarantee he's interested or wants one with you.
Other factors come into play and is often under the not-mentioned category of "intention" which is only lightly covered in the newsletter and will be revealed at a later time.
The MOST important factor then becomes the CONNECTION you make with a man which has to be through his HEART and only in that way, will he want and feel compelled to fight and do things to make the relationship happen.
Here's a great program to show you EXACTLY how it's done so you can do it yourself:
As for the reader who asked this question:
NEVER wait for a guy. You can keep him as an option if and ONLY if certain things are securely in place.
Getting a guy to become interested in you always starts with YOU first.
First make sure you ARE interested in yourself.
Build a lifestyle and some healthy habits which naturally engage a man's interest in you.
Communicate that and more to him and you'll find lots of guys can not only become instantly (physically) attracted to you BUT also interested in you.
THEN learn how to connect with him in that special way and watch that interest and attraction turn into intention, desire, and a determined need to become closer to you.