In the movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin, the characters played by Seth Rogen "Cal" and Steve Carell "Andy Stitzer" are talking about picking up Elizabeth Banks "Beth" while she's working in a what I believe is a book store.
Cal explains to Andy a classic "move" or "technique" which is used to indirectly build a woman's interest, create a little mystery, and is flirty too but in a more subtle way.
It's a little profane and I'm paraphrasing the first sentence but here is what Cal says to Andy,
(First you have to plant the seed... )
"You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. Then you've gotta fuck the plant."
The move or "technique" is quite simple and works "nice" enough for me to teach it to my guys over at DiaLteG™. In other words it's not really a player move and can be used by either a man or woman.
Planting the Seed: You show a little interest in as few words as possible and then walk away.
Repeat it a few times (or plant a few more seeds) while maintaining a little distance.
Each interaction needs or at least must be short and for best results, the man making the statement should walk away or leave first.
He must leave you wanting more.
The "wanting more" then becomes the "growing of the seed" into a plant which then can be harvested or as in the case of the movie, "fucked".
The goal of Andy is to get laid but it can be anything which means any guy who wishes to use it can set his own goal. Most are just looking to get a phone number, a social account, or a date.
In your case, his words, "I was just thinking about you." might be the planting of the seed part but since he continued the conversation we can safely assume it was not his intention.
However, which is one reason I mentioned the "seed" move, I'm sure he's already used the technique to get this far with you.
The other reason is to show you the move and add something special called "linking" to help you connect with any guy on a deeper level.
Here's what he was doing or what he was hoping to accomplish:
- He's letting you know you're on his mind. (The obvious or your first guess with guys is usually the right one.)
- He's looking for any legitimate reason or excuse to start a conversation with you.
- He's initiating a prelude to flirt with you.
- He's establishing a private linking between you and him.
- It's his slightly subtle way of letting you know that's he's interested in you and feeling something more too.
As you can see there's a ton packed in those few words which is a huge reason "the seed technique" works so well and why it's taught to so many men and women.
Give it a try on a guy and I believe you'll see just how effective it is.
The technique is simple and when you add one more layer to it called "linking" you can get even more out of it and really connect with a guy.
You set a little mystery and let them believe you've already had any kind of real connection.
Assume the connection and go with it.
Show a little interest without telegraphing too much attraction. Make sure it's something memorable. This works best when it's a private sharing of something only you two will know about.
The "event" or short exchange then gets forever linked between the two of you and can now be accessed in the future to deepen the connection.
Don't let the terms technique, planting the seed, linking, etc... get to you or stop you from using them.
They're clever little ways to connect with others and when used appropriately tend to be classified in the "good games" section of flirting.
In this case, it was used in a good way and obviously worked to capture the readers interest enough to ask about. Which was definitely part of his intention if he knew it or not.
It left a little mystery and did its job.
The next time you're passing by a guy you've been "kinda" flirting with you and he mentions how he was "just thinking about you", give it right back and have lots of fun with it.
Are you looking for more reasons about why a guy will tell you that he's thinking about you?
When a guy says he's just thinking about you it can be one or all of the following:
- A romantic gesture towards you.
- A genuine interest in wanting something more with you.
- His way in forming a deeper connection.
- An attempt (fishing) to see how you feel about him.
- A technique to increase your attraction and/or interest in him.
- A prelude to start a sexting session or a real sexual one.
It's ALWAYS done with purpose - It's ALWAYS a sign of some level of interest or attraction.
Related posts you can read next:
- What Does It Mean If He Asks, Do You Love Me?
- What Does It Mean When A Guy Only Texts & Never Wants To Call You Up
- When A Guy Says This… What Men Will Say To Have Sex With You
Opening image of man and woman flirting and planting by: Anna Shvets.