Get ready to cringe, this is going to hurt. Kittens are notoriously known for biting and scratching relentlessly. Their cute demeanor mixed with a never-ending adorable playfulness makes them a great addition to the family and "sometimes" a great gift too.
Well that is where I found myself long ago - cuddling a tiny soft gift as I slipped off into dreamland. It was comforting and helped me drift away.
Little did I know what was to come hours later when the sun came up.
My morning ritual isn't anything out of the ordinary. My boxer briefs grew tighter and I'd groggily reach down to put myself in a more comfortable position. The hardness would eventually become so annoying that I'd get up to start my day.
You might say it was my "snooze button" without the annoying beeps. It was my personal "wooden" alarm clock and it was very reliable.
However, one morning wasn't so eventful because, remember above - Kitties like to bite, claw, and scratch. Mine was exceptionally rambunctious in the morning and HER alarm clock was set to go off around the same time as my snooze fest was ending.
Which, as you might've guessed by now set up a very painful series of events which to this day - gives me figuratively phantom pains I will NEVER forget.
That day's alarm was set off by a tiny black kitty whose playful face, white stripe down her nose and all, was caught staring at me with a toothy grin latched on the tip of my morning erection.
Luckily there was a soft blanket and boxer briefs between her lioness-like sharp teeth and my member to assure no real harm was done; but the pain - yeah, my words will never describe as I do fear living through it again, even if it's only in my mind.
Now if there's anyone in the world who would like to seriously research the question, "Why Do Guys Wake Up With An Erection In The Morning" - it would have to me, right?
The problem is - science doesn't really have a definitive answer for us, at least nothing I could find. Apparently there's not much money to be made researching this strange morning phenomenon.
BUT there have been several theories proposed - a few are mainly easy guesswork and one others is quite complicated but appears to be the answer everyone has been waiting - at least those on google searches.
I'll go through what I found and let you decide OR you can leave your own theory below, I'd love to hear what you think about this strictly male sighting.
Why Do Guys Wake Up With An Erection In The Morning...
A few have used the old unproven fact that since men think about sex all the time, or more than women, they MUST be sexually dreaming about it all the time too.
Thus the hardness happens as a result of our relentless and incessant male sex drive.
Except based on the few experiments I've read - men don't think about sex anymore than women. The data typically confirms it, but since it's very hard to gather reliable data on what a person thinks about, the jury still out on this one.
Here's a great article which describes the two most popular experiments done and the problems which do arise in any attempt to capture a person's thoughts:
My personal experience in dreaming about sex has had little to with getting a morning erection. I would wake up hard regardless of the dream, sometimes several times a night too. Apparently my wooden alarm clock just likes to keep me up occasionally and randomly goes off like that pain in the ass car alarm everyone leaves near.
Which just happens to lead to the next theory...
The levels of testosterone in a guy vary throughout the day and are often seen to be the highest in the morning.
Some conclude that this extra bit may explain why it happens but it's just not that simple.
It's also worth noting that as man get older, their testosterone drops and so does his morning hard on's. BOTH are proven but not necessarily a definitive cause and effect thing.
Adding in men who struggle with Erectile Dysfunction because of bad blood flow also infrequently or are never woken up with a Kitty chomping down on his private part.
Testosterone is just not that simple. It has many forms, some can be used by the body, some can not, and take it from a forty-nine year old man who, because of my age must have at least a slight decreased level of testosterone - my morning wooded alarm clock is almost as prominent as it was long ago... you know, before the internet.
Blood flow is clearly more at play than testosterone but again, more research needs to be done and I firmly believe testosterone may play its part, it's not the whole truth.
Here's a few short articles to explain more of the non-noticeable connection between ED and testosterone levels:
"Testosterone treatment has not been shown to improve erections in men with normal testosterone levels. And studies show that it does not help men with low testosterone levels if ED is their only symptom."
"Erections depend on testosterone, but the relationship between the two is complex and not fully understood. Some men have healthy erections despite testosterone levels well below the normal range.
What is clear is that low testosterone levels are linked to a number of the same chronic conditions that play a role in erectile dysfunction, such as type 2 diabetes, obesity, and heart disease."
The third theory... BEST ANSWER by far!
This one is not fully proven but is the most likely to be true - unfortunately the paper wasn't cited and no proof has been given to back it up and I'm not going through hundreds of research papers today.
"The sacral nerve, part of your parasympathetic nervous system, controls erections.
The sympathetic nervous system is what prepares you for action — the fight or flight response. The parasympathetic nervous system, on the other hand, is what’s active while your body rests and repairs itself. It’s responsible for things like digestion, getting rid of waste, and sexual arousal.
The parasympathetic nervous system is active when you’re asleep, so erections sometimes happen in your sleep. The term “morning wood” is actually a misnomer; penises can become erect and then flaccid again several times in the course of one night. You’re just more likely to notice it when you wake up."
The parasympathetic nervous system is a complicated area of study. That link is from Wikipedia and you'll quickly notice how deeply interesting, but confusing it can be...
However our PNS does have its fair control over sexual arousal, and given it also controls our rest periods, would make it well beyond just a theory as to why guys either wake up with a hard-on or get an erection several times in the night.
I've done an unusually amount of reading plus watching on the central nervous system (CNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) for lots of reasons, and this last answer does appear to give a more than reasonable answer.
But - obviously I'm not a Doctor so you're more than free to debate me or come to your own conclusion.
I do know - SLEEP is very important to our survival. It helps us heal, patch up memories, test our circuitry, and even plays a major role in fat loss, daytime cognition, and so much more.
So why wouldn't sleep be the perfect time to push some blood around and mix things up a little, leaving the somewhat healthy man hard at several times in the evening?
The ONLY part I'm not entirely sure about is that SOMETHING must happen for women too - and if these wasn't about men, I might dabble into the proverbial morning wood a woman experiences too.
Although you must admit, THAT would be very interesting to learn.
We've come a long way today - from my nasty kitten biting story to men thinking about sex, testosterone levels, and our amazing nervous system.
The conclusion is above but I did want to pass on a much needed warning about kitties, alarm clocks, and how cats like to bite and claw - so keep a look out for your man, it only takes one nasty bite to render his sex life inoperable to you for a period of time.
I got lucky and was protected from harm, not from pain, but at least from blood being drawn from a place not normally done - the penis!
Related articles you might want to read:
- Is Sex Always On His Mind & Is Physical Intimacy Important To Men?
- Why So Many Men Are Starting To Feel More Ugly Today – Inside & Out!
- Why Guys Like Being Called Daddy – How It Really Makes Him Feel Inside