Thanks for your question Christy,
I’ve been told numerous times, “
You never call me, you only text me! Why?!!!”
So I must say I am guilty of this myself.
For me, it was usually because of work so I couldn’t hop on the phone but I wanted to keep in touch take a very small break.
Other times I was working from home and I didn’t want to involve myself in a conversation. Phone conversations are more involved and can take longer.
They also require more of my immediate attention than a few texts would. They are a bigger interruption in some circumstances.
I’d text a few things. She text me back. And that would be it. No deep meaning behind it at all. Just keeping in touch, getting a break, and having a little fun too.
You see, texting for a guy can be a quick way to contact someone which is less involved than a phone call.
Let’s not forget some guys actually hate the phone so much will rarely ever engage in a conversation with it stuck to his ear. We’re not known for balancing many things at once and this includes wedging it in between our ear and shoulder… that’s a womanly thing. 😀
If you think about it, texting for us guys became the “easy way out.” Yes , we have found a way to avoid talking once again. HAha!
In our world, men are typically deemed the non-vocal group and women are generally assumed to be the more social and “talkative” group. It only stands to reason then us guys would utilize “texting conversations” to our advantage.
Yes I understand texting is not as intimate or exciting as phone call – but you have to admit when used in ALL ways they can serve a purpose when talking on the phone may not be possible. Yes this includes sexting and teasing and sending little reminders that we’re thinking about you.
Those above are typical cases but I have noticed a few different areas which, based on your current situation you would know better.
For example: If you haven’t met him yet and contacted each other online AND he’s within a respectable calling distance I would say there’s a problem.
He could be hiding a girlfriend or wife or a family. There’s also a good chance he’s not who he says he is or is living where he says he lives.
Think of it this way – If you could find out things about him through a phone conversation than you couldn’t by texting or even emails AND he didn’t want you to know these things, the phone would become off-limits. He would use every excuse to avoid it.
Another example: He’s not confident in his phone abilities especially after you first meet.
Like when a guy gets your number and makes you wait three days. Then instead of calling you he sends you a quick boring text asking how you’re doing. Or how he wants to set up a date after a few quick texts.
Chances are he’s worried he’ll screw it up before he even gets the first date.
You can imagine how many guys have sat around and literally sweated out the first phone call with nothing but doubt and fear chattering in their brain:
- What to say?
- How to ask for the date?
- How long it should last?
- Will she even answer?
- What if she doesn’t answer and it goes to voice mail, then what do I say?
- What could I possibly talk about with her?
- I just met her. I barely know who she is and now I’m expected to have a wonderful phone conversation with her?
When you first meet a guy and he gets your number the first phone call carries just as much pressure as the approach – For some it’s like we have to do it all over again and that can cause some serious problems.
For those guys a simple text relieves some of the pressure, reminds you of who we are, and are less likely to cause serious problems. (Of course they are also most likely diminish the attraction and impression if not done right. Don’t worry, we ALL include proper texting in our work. Haha! )
The meaning behind our choice of only texting over a phone conversation can be simple stated as one or more of the following:
- We’re not on the talkative side.
- We just met you and are struggling with the first phone call.
- Based on the situation we could be hiding something. Use your intuition here. It’s always your best first defense against it.
- We’re not, generally speaking, very good at multi-tasking and we’re rarely ever in a position to talk. (Working or doing something which requires our attention.)
- We’re just staying in touch and keeping things light. Having a little fun and reminding you of who you got involved with, in a good way. 🙂
- We just might still settle with the assumption holding a phone between our shoulder and ear – is kind of a feminine thing to do. ( Just talking on the phone for more than a few minutes doesn’t feel very masculine to some guys.
Apparently “texting” has not been given a sex yet so it’s okay for us to do it as often as we please . 😀 ( Of course some men will argue with me on this one.)
Maybe we should keep it that way – a sexless texting – an “it” – an ambiguous means to communicate even us guys can manage to multi-task. 😀
Thanks for asking Christy. I hope hope I’ve answered your question. You can follow it up below if you have any more.