There are many reasons why a guy would only send you text messages and avoid or not call you at all. Some of them are not a big deal. Some of them may spell a warning for you. Others are more about a guy... just being a guy.
I'll get into as many as I can below to help you figure out why you only get texts from him.
Personally I've been guilty of this in the past so I have a lot of experience in this area and on numerous occasions a woman would get a little angry until it finally all blew up,
"You never call me, you only text me! Why?!!!"
First, let's get into the "man" side of things so you better understand this texting problem.
It's very well-known or assume that guys are not as vocally "social" as women. Sure they discuss things a little with their guys friends and talk about what they're into like sports, gaming, women, etc... BUT their conversations are not always in the same realm as women.
They communicate differently and often it's to the point or get to the solution quickly and move on from there.
You can read all about those communications differences in the section titled, 'He Might Ignore You, Go Silent, or Fail to Share His Feelings Because There's A Breakdown In Communication.' in my book: "Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings".
For years the ONLY way men could talk to women (aside from face to face) was the phone call. There was no social media, no Facebook messaging, and certainly no mobile phones with SMS.
And I'm positive guys avoided it back then too and would simply use it to convey a quick message and get off as quickly as possible.
Talking (under those circumstances) I'd have to say wasn't a man utilizing his best known assets. Sure - there were probably a few who liked it but on the average they were outnumbered.
Since messaging has taken over as the standard form of any distant form of communication you have to realize how happy this made guys AND so they went with it taking full advantage of the shorter time involved and the ease of just pushing a few buttons and getting on with their day.
If you think about it, texting for us guys has literally become the "easy way out."
Yes , we have found a way to avoid talking once again.
So Reason #1: It's the choice that men prefer because it's quick, relatively easy, and they're able to get a point across in as few words as possible such as:
- Set up a meeting.
- Set up a date.
- Get a list of things to pick up.
- Figure out where someone is or will be later on.
Reason #2: Men generally have trouble multitasking and if the situation isn't right - a phone call would be too distracting and take them away from what they were doing.
It's tough for lots of guys to jump in and out of conversations and re-focus on the job at hand.
Be it writing - as in my case. Working on a car. Crunching some numbers. Building something.
Any time a phone call disrupts that focus, it's much harder to get back into it.
Texting makes it a lot easier because with a few quick texts - we can get back to what we're doing with as little disruption or interruption as possible.
Reason #3: Avoiding a deeper discussion which should or "probably" should be done in person anyways.
There's nothing worse than trying to have a REAL conversation in a message. Which is obvious or you wouldn't be looking for an answer to this question today.
This means - rather than hop on the phone - a few quick messages can be a way not necessarily to avoid "the talk" or something deeper (although sometimes it is) but a quick easy solution to setting up a REAL face to face conversation.
Once a phone call is made - there's little chance of avoiding it until later unless he's just rude about it and ends the call abruptly.
Reason #4: It doesn't feel masculine and (sort of) requires actual conversational skills most men feel they don't have or believe is not their strongest asset.
I'm not saying men are master texters - not by far - but merely saying to a guy, being face to face FEELS more manly and they (mostly) believe they can handle that better.
While texting offers a less detailed approach - talking on the phone certainly requires some skill and dedication AND just doesn't feel like there is anything masculine about it at all.
Again - avoid the phone call - text a few times - and get her in person seems to be the "smart" thing to do for a guy.
Reason #5: He's up to no good and is trying to hide something from you.
Whether it's where he is - or who he's with - a phone call would certainly be more revealing than a few text messages.
If you haven't met yet (just messages online and no calls) there's a good chance he's trying to avoid the truth of whatever he is up to.
This can range from a wife, a girlfriend, faking his profile, or not even being close to who he claims he is to you.
If you're only getting messages from him under these circumstance - you have every right to be worried and concerned.
Reason #6:You just physically met and he's afraid he's going to screw it up with you.
Approaching you and getting your number to use later is a very big fear for men and actually doing it only brings up another fear and heightens lots of his anxieties as it's related to women.
- Why does he call?
- What will he say?
- Will you even answer it?
- Will you even remember him?
- How to ask you out for an actual date?
- How long should he talk to you on the phone?
Under these circumstance - the rules or requirements to send a few texts are far less stressful than an actual phone call so you'll get lots of guys who try to avoid it entirely by just sending you text messages.
AND the longer he waits to call - the harder it gets - so he relies on his texting ability instead - not because he believes it's the right thing to do - just because he believes it's harder to screw it up - say the wrong thing - and he doesn't have to worry about WHAT he's going to say to you in as much depth or length as a phone call would require.
Reason #7: He's into you but his intentions are not so appropriate and his plan with you most likely stops there.
This is where a guy "farms" lots of numbers because he wants to entice or convince you to send naked pictures of yourself OR he's THAT guy who wants to send dick picks to every girl he meets.
There's no guarantee that he doesn't want more but when his only interest is sleeping with you or getting you naked or sexting you - he has little reason to get on the phone with you.
I'm positive this reason is rare but it's certainly something to keep your eye out for - so when he just seems to always want to get sexual in his messages or is coercing you blatantly asking for naked photos of you to send him then it's probably why he's only texts you and never calls.
Reason #8: He has time to figure out what he's going to say BEFOREHAND making him feel and possibly look more attractive in your eyes.
Way back when I could talk to women quite easily BUT they never went anywhere physically because I lacked the skill in that area.
To solve this problem - I of course first learn HOW to communicate attraction and then practiced them online which give me lots of time to prepare what I was going to say and formulate a much more attractive response.
I did manage to bring it on the phone or face to face but it was so much easier when I could think about what to send before it happens.
You'll find lots of men will use text messaging the same way.
Time to prepare an appropriate response which will attract you and make them look better in your eyes. Something you must admit a lot of guys (and women) can benefit from doing from time to time.
This all-text conclusion...
Men are women tend to communicate differently to each other and to their friends too.
Texting may not just be his easy way-out or another way to avoid talking once again BUT it certainly plays a part of this problem.
Even though most men prefer talking face to face over talking on the phone it doesn't guarantee their conversational skills are any better - but a few text messages are easier, requires less thought, AND face to face talking usually gives him more ability to connect with you because it feels a little more masculine.
Men typically want to get a point across quickly and easily and texting fits that role perfectly.
Men also can struggle multi-tasking and when they're focused on anything at work to a movie or show they're watching or anything they're doing which requires a fair amount of attention - a quick text or two is less disruptive than a phone call.
Since texting normally doesn't allow for a deeper discussion - it can be his way of avoid the "talk" until there's time to make it happen face to face.
Some men are trying to hide something from you and the phone can give him away easily whereas so much easier to keep a secret while texting for obvious reasons.
If you've just met - he probably is worried about the dreaded and stressful first call and every aspect of it such as when, where, and what talk about it. This means you'll get lots of texts because there seems to be less rules and more time to consider a response over a phone call which seems far easier to blow it with you.
Lastly - maybe his intentions with you are purely sexual or voyeuristic. He's only looking to send nasty dick picks or get you to send him naked pictures. Now I understand there is video calling now but mainly - texting is still the preferred method to accomplish his rather seedy objective of seeing you naked or him just exploring his prevented self.
- Image by The Lazy Artist Gallery at Pexels.
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