≡ Menu
Why Do Guys…?

What Does It Mean When A Guy Only Texts A Woman? Never Any Phone Convo

What Does It Mean When A Guy Only Texts A Woman? Never Any Phone Convo post image

Thanks for your question Christy,

I've been told numerous times, "

You never call me, you only text me! Why?!!!"  

So I must say I am guilty of this myself.

For me, it was usually because of work so I couldn't hop on the phone but I wanted to keep in touch take a very small break.

Other times I was working from home and I didn't want to involve myself in a conversation. Phone conversations are more involved and can take longer.

They also require more of my immediate attention than a few texts would. They are a bigger interruption in some circumstances.

I'd text a few things. She text me back. And that would be it. No deep meaning behind it at all. Just keeping in touch, getting a break, and having a little fun too.

You see, texting for a guy can be a quick way to contact someone which is less involved than a phone call.

Let's not forget some guys actually hate the phone so much will rarely ever engage in a conversation with it stuck to his ear. We're not known for balancing many things at once and this includes wedging it in between our ear and shoulder... that's a womanly thing.   😀

If you think about it, texting for us guys became the "easy way out." Yes , we have found a way to avoid talking once again. HAha!

In  our  world, men are typically deemed the non-vocal group and women are generally assumed to be the more social and "talkative" group. It only stands to reason then us guys would utilize "texting conversations" to our advantage.

Yes I understand texting is not as intimate or exciting as phone call - but you have to admit when used in ALL ways they can serve a purpose when talking on the phone may not be possible. Yes this includes sexting and teasing and sending little reminders that we're thinking about you.

Those above are typical cases but I have noticed a few different areas which, based on your current situation you would know better.

For example: If you haven't met him yet and contacted each other online AND he's within a respectable calling distance I would say there's a problem.

He could be hiding a girlfriend or wife or a family. There's also a good chance he's not who he says he is or is living where he says he lives.

Think of it this way - If you could find out things about him through a phone conversation than you couldn't by texting or even emails AND he didn't want you to know these things, the phone would become off-limits. He would use every excuse to avoid it.

Another example: He's not confident in his phone abilities especially after you first meet.

Like when a guy gets your number and makes you wait three days. Then instead of calling you he sends you a quick boring text asking how you're doing. Or how he wants to set up a date after a few quick texts.

Chances are he's worried he'll screw it up before he even gets the first date.

You can imagine how many guys have sat around and literally sweated out the first phone call with nothing but doubt and fear chattering in their brain:

  • What to say?
  • How to ask for the date?
  • How long it should last?
  • Will she even answer?
  • What if she doesn't answer and it goes to voice mail, then what do I say?
  • What could I possibly talk about with her?
  • I just met her. I barely know who she is and now I'm expected to have a wonderful phone conversation with her?

When you first meet a guy and he gets your number the first phone call carries just as much pressure as the approach - For some it's like we have to do it all over again and that can cause some serious problems.

For those guys a simple text relieves some of the pressure, reminds you of who we are, and are less likely to cause serious problems. (Of course they are also most likely diminish the attraction and impression if not done right. Don't worry, we ALL include proper texting in our work. Haha! )

The meaning behind our choice of only texting over a phone conversation can be simple stated as one or more of the following:

  • We're not on the talkative side.
  • We just met you and are struggling with the first phone call.
  • Based on the situation we could be hiding something. Use your intuition here. It's always your best first defense against it.
  • We're not, generally speaking, very good at multi-tasking and we're rarely ever in a position to talk. (Working or doing something which requires our attention.)
  • We're just staying in touch and keeping things light. Having a little fun and reminding you of who you got involved with, in a good way. 🙂
  • We just might still settle with the assumption holding a phone between our shoulder and ear - is kind of a feminine thing to do. ( Just talking on the phone for more than a few minutes doesn't feel very masculine to some guys.

Apparently "texting" has not been given a sex yet so it's okay for us to do it as often as we please . 😀  ( Of course some men will argue with me on this one.)

Maybe we should keep it that way - a sexless texting - an "it" -  an ambiguous means to communicate even us guys can manage to multi-task. 😀

Thanks for asking Christy. I hope hope I've answered your question. You can follow it up below if you have any more.

(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
7 comments… add one
  • nycd

    Most men that rely solely on texting as a main point of communication are lazy, complacent, most times socially awkward and often times lack conversational skills to hold interesting short conversations.

    Not all women want to stay on the phone either, but I get it there are way more overly talkative women that talk way too much. Then there are those that only want to stay on the phone for no more than 5 minutes. Phone conversations do hold some significance.

    Any man that solely texts should not hold out any expectation of any rational female to want to build anything significant with you, much less want to have any type of emotional ties to you. Text-only situations allow one to be emotionally disconnected and lazy.

  • Banshee

    Okay, well, those are the excuses. Depending on texting too much is just for kids and cowards. There are no two ways about it. Give me a break. Why is your time more important than that of your dad, who actually had to call your mom at some point to make a date with her, and had to keep calling her to stay in her good graces? If you are really interested in a woman, don’t be a weenie. Call her.

    • Yep. Texting has a purpose but calling says more. Unfortunately guys don’t read these pages 🙂 so they might not get your advice.

      If you want to leave guys your opinion I highly suggest you visit DiaLTeG TM and the Facebook page and leave it there. I promise to pass it along for you and I always encourage guys to speak too, sadly though they rarely do. Guess that’s say a lot about men doesn’t it? HAha!

  • mec

    Hello, met this guy two months ago…..he asked for my number and texted the next day that it was nice to meet me. The texting continued as he asked every week for a month if we could have coffee or dinner. The texts have always been well wishes for a good day, or at the end of the day “hope you had a great day”. A bit boring with no real context but still appreciated. I finally agreed to go out with him and after three dates (the last two consisted of heavy, passionate make-out sessions) the guy is STILL texting, not once has called! Still with the well wishes for a good day or shift, and at the end of the day “good night, sweet dreams”. Almost everyday! Okay…..what’s going on here? It’s thoughtful…..but, NOT thoughtful enough.

    • Julia

      Sounds like he just doesn’t like talking on the phone. But he’s obviously thinking about you and making efforts – in his own way – to spend time with you.
      What do you think you’ll get from a phone call that you don’t get from text?
      Nice to hear his voice, sure. But I bet if he called you’d be complaining that the conversations are always short and end a bit awkwardly.

      • mountaingirl

        I understand what she’s saying. I’ve been going out with this guy for about a month now and all he does it text me. I’d even asked for his email address early on but he seemed a bit nervous and refused to give it to me (I assumed he didn’t want to give me his work email, which is fine, but most people have a second email account so I’m not sure why he wouldn’t want to exchange something like that). I’m not a big fan of texting as it is, and when he sends me novel length texts I wonder “why couldn’t he just tell me this over the phone?” To me texting messages that length is cumbersome and awkward. There are other issues I have about him, such as only wanting to get together once a week on a specific day at a specific time. This is the first guy I’ve dated that solely texted. All the others who texted me also either called or emailed. It’s just a bit off-putting.

  • Mec

    Hello there Pete, great article on this! Great website! Writing again because I’m not sure if my first post went through. Sorry. Would really appreciate your feedback on my current situation. Met this guy two months ago at work (son of a patient, I’m a nurse, not theirs during his father’s hospitalization, we just crossed paths in the hallway). He waited until my shift ended and timed it perfectly that we left together, introduced himself, then asked for my number. I gave it to him, the encounter was unexpected , i was caught off guard, it was late, i felt bad so i gave it to him. He texted the next day that it was nice to meet me. The texting continued as he asked every week for a month if we could have coffee or dinner. At the time i was in a relationship and told him my guy would not be happy. He didn’t respond to that text. Instead, his texts have always been (since day ONE) well wishes for a good day, or at the end of the day “hope you had a great day”. A bit boring with no real context but still somewhat appreciated. I finally agreed to go out with him (after I ended things with my bf) because he was so persistent; and after three dates (the last two consisted of heavy, passionate make-out sessions) the guy is STILL texting, not once has he called! Still with the darn well wishes for a good day or shift with a now added “good night, sweet dreams” before he goes to sleep. Almost everyday! Okay…..what’s going on here? It’s thoughtful…..but, NOT thoughtful enough. He always wants to go out and have dinner, i don’t always make myself available because i don’t want to come off as desperate or easy. I was honest about having just ended a relationship and things being a little complicated giving me the opportunity to ask about his situation. He assured me there’s no one else. I conveyed to him that I wanted to take things slow. Our first date i actually canceled at the last minute. And for our 4th date, he planned a “non-refundable” overnight stay at an expensive resort. I canceled that too as i felt it was moving too quickly. I thought for sure he’s not going to want to see me anymore and i actually would’ve been okay with that. But, I was surprised when he texted a later asking when i would be available to have dinner again. Hmm, I am confused.
    *side note: I called the resort the day/night we were supposed to go asking to be connected to his room. In my mind, if I had been connected, he kept the reservation and took someone else. I was pleased they couldn’t find the reservation which tells me he cancelled it rather than taking another women there. Why I would have doubts….well, he’s 10 years older than me, a charming, nice-looking, successful, wealthy man….hmmm, no wife, no gf? Could he be dating around? He said no to all but I honestly DON’T know; it’s easy to say “no”. I appreciate that he consistently texts to let me know he’s thinking about me (not in so many words, unfortunately), but i would appreciate a call, or a nice vm more. Nights I work late, he’s offered to come by and bring me food which I declined. I so would appreciate your feedback. Am I wasting my time? What could be going on here? Kindly advise. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *