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Why Do Guys…?

What Does a Guy Mean When He Says He Is Thinking About You?

in Is He Interested, What Does He Mean
Man Thinking Telling Mean Message Think You

The many reasons why a guy would say he’s thinking about you may not be obvious to you so let’s clear up ANY confusion you might be having today.

FIRST.. and this will put your question about a man in complete perspective.

As a guy, I would NEVER, ever, ever call up another guy (or woman) friend,  text him, or even dare mention to him,

“I was thinking about you and just decided to tell you.”

With that said…

When he says he is thinking about you – it means he wants to see you again…  among other things.

Something reminded him of you in a good or even sexual way.

He’s thinking if he tells you, you’ll see it as a lovely romantic gesture.

He’s also trying to tell you that he’s interested in you.

In what way remains to be seen because a guy will say it just as easily if he’s looking for sex, that night, or somewhere down the road.

There’s almost always an intimate or sexual attachment to the “I’m thinking about you.” statement or message.

Now before you get too excited over the guy who sent this message or told you, it’s not ALL love and romance.

Rarely – because I have done this myself – a guy will do it when he’s looking for sex or for an intimate “sexting” romp. (If you can call it that.)

Other guys – the ones who are not all that good in the reading women part – are using it to fish for a response about how you feel about HIM.

So he might not mean it that much – sorry.

If you answer “Awww that’s sweet.” he’ll probably see it as friendly response either confusing him more or leading him to believe you don’t feel the same way as him.

NO guy who is feeling it for a woman AND decides to tell her he’s thinking about her, wants to hear anything but…

“I miss you too!”

Of course you could come back with a clever flirty thing – he might assume you’re interested as much as he is – but that’s no guarantee because without a CLEAR signal from you, he still might not get it.

Everyone knows or assume guys are thinking about women all the time. Which is true for the younger one but as they age, it lessens.

A younger guy telling you he is thinking about you might mean something totally different than an older guy.

Here are some examples to help you decide the full extent to what he means.

When a guy wakes up thinking about you he’s feeling more than just attraction.

If you tells you, “Just woke up and was thinking about you.” It can certainly be a sign he wants you to wake up with him.

When a guy texts you that something he saw just reminded him of you and messages, “Just saw… and it made me think about you.” – that’s normally his way of connecting with you.

Some guys even do it to increase your attraction to him. It’s a “technique” we teach guys.

Which means he’s attracted to you. From this context it’s hard to tell if he’s looking for more.

When a guy you’re dating is out of town or far away and he tells you he’s thinking about – it’s a good sign that he’s trying to form a deeper connection with you.

Which means – all things aside – he’s probably interested in something more than casual sex.

Bottom line…

Guys at some point, must step back from the woman they’re dating and think about what is happening.

If you’re the one he’s focused on – then he’ll tell you he misses you. Which is a little deeper than “thinking about you” but it can mean the same thing to a guy.

He’s also telling you, “I’m feeling something for you and I DO want to see you again.”

I’d say that’s the whole of this answer.

Men tend to be direct with their words even if it doesn’t feel that way.

When he says he’s thinking about you – it simply means HE IS doing just that… you’re on his mind.

It’s not always going to be possible to figure out the deeper meaning when it’s out of context.

For more SIGNALS from men, what they mean, and the many signs a guy might be into you, sign up below to the Why Do Guys newsletter below because it’s all about understanding the many things men do and say and much more.

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About the author: Peter White… Showing men and women ways to attract each other naturally by helping you to understand each other. Over ten years experience which has shown me how to see things clearly and get to the root cause of most dating and relationships problems. Hope you learn and enjoy your why do guys experience.

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103 comments… add one
  • Sherry L Berry

    What do a guy means when he say I don’t think so,but then he say I miss and think of you everyday??????

    • Peter White

      You lost me on the context Sherry. I don’t know why he said I don’t think so to you. I would need to know that to answer you.

      Pete

  • chas

    First off thank you for taking time for my questions. My fiance got upset when I was honest with him about my friend anothet man . Because I told him my friend just showed up and we talked and had dinner . And my fiance even said he my friend want’s to get in my pants his own words to me Because no guy can only be a friend to a female with out wanting to get in her pants his own words. We have been together for 3 years and we have a child together , no he had never meet my friend of 12 years . Because I am afraid of how he will be to him . Along with my side , my ? Is Why ? Because he has female friends whom he has hung all over in my presence , when I respectfully told him it hurts to see him doing it . Yes he got mad at me , then went back to the girl 23 years old , touched her bottom . I’m 36 he is 44 . Sorry so much info but I need your honest advice . Thank You .

    • Peter White

      I never like double standards Chas. If he’s friends with women and doing all that stuff and is getting angry with you for having dinner with a friend that I can honestly say this man has severe self-esteem issues.

      That is the real problem. Or the underlying nature of your situation.

      That needs to be dealt with if you want this relationship to survive or last and you might have to go to a third party for that. I can not help you with that.

      You can try counseling or try to take care of the problem yourself with something like this or I could suggest another part. I just like the way Rori deals with relationship issues:

      http://offers.whydoguys.com/Rori-Raye-Toxic-Men

      Let me know if you would like me to research something else for you to try.

      All the best to you and I hope it works out for you,
      Pete

  • Yvonne

    What meaning he need attached? I didn’t really ask him as in…

  • yvonne

    Hi Pete,

    I had chat with a guy for 1and half mth. He has date me few time, but the words I say make him felt I rejected him. End up we never meet. We start less or more than a week didn’t contact. One day I guess I know he trying to pull away because he didn’t msg me at all and I message him. Both of us was age at above 30. I told him I just wanna simple life and family. He told me that he scare will hurt me. We not really fully get know each other, he say before we get know each other’s we already phigyical.
    He said he need attached, but I didn’t ask as in which part coz I’m angry at tat time. I told him that if he think our character is different, he should reject me and I will never msg him anymore. He answer me, he never say that.now, we never contact each other

  • Mwll

    My boyfriend of 2 months, ended abruptly using the excuse that I deserve better than him and what he can offer then 2 days later he text at midnight and says I think about you all the time. How do I respond to this how do I take his last text into context

    • Peter White

      What you have is the “poor poor me” guy. His self-esteem is low. He doesn’t feel “worthy” or capable of love. Worst scenario, he cheated on you.

      Yes, it hurts. Yes it’s not a fun situation to be in, and I feel your pain. I understand how much it sucks.

      Unfortunately I would NEVER advise a woman to get involved with a guy like this until he fixes himself. He will in all likelihood cause you more pain as he tries to figure himself out and why he believes he’s unworthy of your love.

      Sure – rarely or occasionally you’ll find a guy who feels great about things but has a few hard times and snaps quickly by breaking it off. It “could” be a temporary thing IF it’s not in his character to act this way. BUT normally it’s not.

      You must figure these things out before you proceed. If it is his character “low self-esteem, feeling useless, down on himself a lot, play the poor poor me routine, constantly seeking approval, etc…” THEN it’s up to HIM to find himself. No one would ever advise a guy who feels that way to enter a relationship UNTIL such time as he feels better and stronger.

      Not many would also advise you to enter a relationship with him at this point in time either.

      He texted he because he still has feelings for you. As far as I can tell he didn’t break up with you because he wasn’t feeling something for you – he broke up with you for the exact reason he told you.

      I can not tell you how to respond exactly especially after all I shared with you in the comment so far. BUT… if you must, please refrain from trying to build him up – you’ll only give him a false sense of confidence that won’t last.

      Speak to him honestly with what I’ve given you today. Let him know you understand how he feels about himself. Ask him if he’s working on it. Ask him why he feels this way. Let him tell you why he feels unworthy or incapable BUT do NOT use the conversation to rekindle the relationship.

      Again – entering or continuing a relationship under these terms rarely of ever leads to something good, happy, or fulfilling.

      Here’s the article where I explain a guy like this:

      What Was His Excuse To Not Commit To You? Real Fears or Bullshit?

      It should shed some light on your guy.

      All the best to you. Hope this has helped and you’re pain doesn’t last too long and you manage to move on,
      Pete

  • Seasaw

    Hello, I’ve been intimate with a married man and he states he thinks of me often. Other times, he reminds me I’m not a permanent thing but his actions indicates he cares. I’ll never understand men but the seesaw effect is driving me looney. I think it’s safe to assume I’m disposable in this whirlwind and needing confirmation. By the way, I think it’s great you give us insight to a male’s mind.

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