What Does a Guy Mean When He Says He Is Thinking About You?

Man Thinking Telling Mean Message Think You

The many reasons why a guy would tell you he's thinking about you are not always so obvious so let's make today the perfect time to clear up any confusion you might be having about why he would say it.

Never forget this...

As a guy, I would NEVER, ever, ever call up another guy (or woman) friend,  text him, or even dare mention to him,

"I was thinking about you and just decided to tell you."

With that said...

When he says he is thinking about you, it means he wants to see you again, among many other things of course.

Something reminded him of you in a good and often sexual way.

He's thinking if he tells you, you'll see it as a nice romantic gesture.

He's trying to tell and show you that he's interested in you.

HOW or In WHAT way he's interested in with you remains to be seen because a guy will say it just as easily if he's looking for sex, that night, or somewhere down the road.

In other words, three's not always a love or romantic reason behind the gesture.

If you're looking to figure out if he's just looking for sex, I wrote these posts for you:

When A Guy Says This… What Men Will Say To Have Sex With You

How To Figure Out Why Guys Might Only Be Looking For Sex From You

Okay, so...

Another reason a guy might tell you that he is thinking about you is because he's fishing for a response from you that reveals how you feel about him.

In this case you can safely predict he's attracted and interested in you.

Type two men are known for trying the fishing tactic.

You can learn all about the two types after signing in below or a little on the homepage.

Here are some examples to help you decide the full extent of what he really means.

When a guy wakes up thinking about you, he's feeling more than just attraction.

If you tells you, "I just woke up and was thinking about you." It is a very big sign he wants you to wake up with him anytime soon.

When a guy texts you that something he saw just reminded him of you and messages, "Just saw (... insert whatever...) and it made me think about you." - this is normally his way of connecting with you.

A guy will sometimes tell you he's thinking about you because he believes it will up your attraction to him.

It's a technique used to get you to think about him which, when done right can increase your feelings towards him and if you haven't guessed it by now,  also means he's feeling attracted to you.

Otherwise he wouldn't bother, right?

When a guy you're dating is out of town or far away and he tells you he's thinking about you, it's a good sign that he's trying to form a deeper connection with you.

He's thinking about you more because you're not around and therefore misses you.

He's feeling the need to tell you he wants to be assured you're waiting for him, he's on your mind, plus he wants to make sure you don't just forget about what you have together.

As stated here: Men LIKE to know they're missed!

When a guy lets you know just at bedtime that he is thinking about you, it's also a great sign he's looking for something more and wants you in his head at bedtime, which again - means sooner or later he wants you right there with him and by his side.

Here's the easier to read short list:

When a guy says he's just thinking about you it can be one or all of the following:

  • A romantic gesture towards you.
  • A genuine interest in wanting something more with you.
  • His way in forming a deeper connection.
  • An attempt (fishing) to see how you feel about him.
  • A technique to increase your attraction and/or interest in him.
  • A prelude to start a sexting session or a real sexual one.

It's ALWAYS done with purpose - It's ALWAYS a sign of some level of interest or attraction.

Guys will NEVER say things like this to their man friends unless of course they're gay, which adds the dynamic level of attraction to the meaning of the words anyways.

In very rare circumstances a guy might say it to a dear "woman" friend because they tend to treat their female friends differently than their male ones.

However, if you have any romantic connection with a guy - it's going to mean one of those listed above practically every time.

This means you are in his mind which may also mean you're in his heart too.

Heed my warning and keeping it real. 

A statement like this - whether it's verbal, texted, or messaged is obviously a very powerful and meaningful emotion to convey to a woman.

Some men know it.

Some don't.

To support myself and the reasoning behind how powerful it is and how good it is at detecting another one's feelings towards another, I've suggested a two text routine that contains these exact words:

SEND THIS: I was just thinking about you. 🙂

If you get no response within five minutes…

SEND THIS: HA! And now you have the pleasure of thinking about me. 😉

DO NOT send another text until you hear back from him.

Reveal How He Feels With Two Quick Text Messages

AND If it wasn't so powerful you would not have searched behind the meaning of it just for the sake of knowing it.

I believe you were looking for something supportive to tell you what you already felt like it meant, but you were not fully convinced because you got it from a guy who has been hot and cold - here and there - distant and close numerous times with you and this statement confused you.

And now you can see how easily it can drive up your interest and attraction to a guy - especially when he hasn't been too clear or upfront about how he feels with you in the past.

The warning is:

Some guys WILL use it to speed things up with you sexually If you're not there yet.

Which means you need to formulate a response which is consistent with your relationship with him so you're not led down a hurtful path.

Granted - the warning is only there because it happens and I felt you should be aware of it.

Understand it's VERY RARE and you can (mostly and safely) assume unless you're not sure hind is about who he is that the meaning behind it is GENUINE and REAL.

Now I get to ask you... based on all this:

HOW are you going to respond when a man tells you he was just thinking about you?

Do you know what to say back and how AND how long you should wait to do it?

Do you know what to say that will do achieve what you want - as in send him away, bring him closer, show him you care as much, or let it go for a while because you're not sure how you feel about him yet.

As I stated above - getting this from a guy means something IMPORTANT to him and unless you have no problems in this area - I wouldn't suggest you guess your way through your answer to him.

I'd love to give you a quick answer but I feel there are too many circumstances to consider and finding one solution or words you can use will fir them all.

There are many other variables to consider as in how well you know each other, your past history, are you his ex, how long you've been dating, how much you message or talk to each and so many more.

My suggestions however...  are EASY to follow:

The Why Do Guys free newsletter is a great place to start understanding men better.

Sign in below - read the ebook I wrote for that breaks men down into two types and you'll spend less time searching for answers and more time enjoying your life with a guy.

I had a great time writing it for you and I believe you'll find it informative and useful. In the very least a healthy and educational distraction from wondering anymore about why he told you he was thinking about you.

You should stay away from most "text his desire to you" products because they won't offer a real long-term results unless this is not a huge problem for you and you're just looking for some quick texts to send along to him.

The only one I've seen that comes close to today's problem post is called Text/CHEMISTRY by Amy North. You can check it out here:

Text Chemistry - Text Messages To Capture His Attention

With that said...

What you should seriously consider, based on the nature of today's post is really cool but intensive, so if you're not ready to put up the cash, just hop on Rori's newsletter and give her some of your time.

It's called Love Scripts For Dating.

When you want to know what to do and say in every situation you're experiencing with a guy, it's ALL included.

Especially how to respond attractively and in a way which brings him even closer to you, after he says he misses you.

You get "word-for-word scripts" that connect with a guy's heart.

Considering this case and this post - you must admit it's something EVERY woman must have by here side.

You Can Read All About It Right Here - Love Scripts For Dating.

When you're done, you'll...

Know exactly how to respond when a guy says he's thinking about you, exactly how long you should wait or not wait before you get back too him, and what to say that brings him closer and allows you to connect with him...

AND you'll also know exactly what to do when the next "what do I say or do" problem may come along... because they usually do!

Click Here For The EXACT Words He NEEDS To Hear To Want To Listen To You, Please You, And Make You His Forever

Have a Great Day and we'll talk again soon.

Thanks for stopping by.

Thank You For Sharing

Understanding Any Man Starts Here, Right Now!

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There are 3 critical reasons why you NEED to read this book IMMEDIATELY:

♦ If you’re not sure what his type is, you could misread everything he says & does which leads to more confusion and making mistakes with him that will hurt.

♦ Learn the insight & ability to detect if he’s for real, using you for sex, a player, a good guy, or one of those rare REAL man you DO want.

♦ Get my personal secret to getting a guy devoted and obsessed over you. Let me show you the right way because if you do it wrong, there may be no turning back the clock.

A Closer Peek Into The Two Types of Guys

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About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated. Let me show you how & why. There are only two types of guys and knowing this changes everything. You must know which one or you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you.

This article was posted in Is He Interested In You? Does He Like You? Signs & Signals Of Attraction, What Does He Mean – What He Says & What He Does Gets Explained Deeper

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114 comments… add one
  • Joyce

    So, this guy was my teacher in highschool for three years. We’ve been friends all along. We’re open to each other. I have a boyfriend but i have feelings for him too. He tells me about his girlfriends and i tell him about my boyfriends. I feel like he has feelings for me too. We text way more than i text with my boyfriend. He also looks out for me. Now, the other day as we were texting jokingly and laughing, i told him “hey you blue-ticked me and you want to get away with it like you always do? ” then his response was, “no, but sadly i haven’t been able to get away with you because someone else did”….. Last night i put up a photo of me and few minutes later, he hit me with the “i was thinking about you… ” text… “But all in abstraction ” he said. Is he trying to tell me he lovrs me?

    • Joyce – I won’t go into all the problems I see and instantly think when I hear “teacher” – “High School” – “Just Friends” … that’s your thing, not something I typically give advice on.

      BUT aside from all that… here’s a resounding NO!

      He’s NOT telling you he loves you. He may have feelings for you but WHAT they are, and what they might mean for yours and his future, remain to be seen.

      Men have a very clear difference in their mind when it comes to love and ATTRACTION.

      So yes, he could be feeling attraction, he might even think it’s love (though I highly doubt it) – but as far as I’m concerned based on my brutally honest look and ability to think like a man and read between the lines…

      It’s attraction.

      Nothing more.

      IF he was trying to tell you he loves you – DO NOT BELIEVE HIM at this stage.

      Love is SHOWING, not talking, not sending messages, not cute little texts or reminders…

      LOVE IS AN ACTION from which there is no return and bears the greatest risk.

      IF he’s not there AND you’re not actually together… it’s not love.

      Thanks for asking and wishing all the best,


  • Hannah Smith

    I have known this guy several for several years. We met on the job and became friends. He resigned from the company a few years after but we remained in contact off and on over the years. About a year and a half ago, we started messaging each regularly….most of the time sexting. He was going through marital problems and I am unhappily married. We were there for each other. He’s now divorced and I’m still married. He’s dated a few women and he tried to do the right thing by his girlfriend (s) but he always get back to sexting me. Here is the problem I think I’m in love with him but I can’t seem to be able to read whether he feels something for me. He’ll say things like he thinks about me more than I know or he’s flattered on how much I like him. He doesn’t want a sexual relationship because I’m still married. A few weeks ago he tried to end the sexting because he wanted to do right by current girlfriend but a week later he contact me to let me know he misses me. He said maybe we can see each other sometimes. Hard for me to tell if he wants more or just the same.

  • J

    So met this guy while traveling and we talked briefly. He seemed nice so we exchanged numbers. He is texting and calling several times a day. He requests I send pics and says ” Can’t stop thinking about you. I want to see you very soon”. I am not sure if I should be flattered or worried considering we only met like 9 days ago.

    • I would be slightly flattered but more concerned or worried about a guy acting like this. Here’s something quick and easy to use with any guy:

      Too much – too quick – too soon… too early.

      ALL are bad signs from a guy who will most likely turn out to be very needy, just looking for sex, no overly in control of himself and sometimes life, AND will tend to fade away or disappear just as quickly and randomly as he start it all.

      Be flattered but be cautious.

      Best to you,

  • Laura

    I have had men who have GF’s but aren’t saying that outright say they are thinking of me. I think it is used to keep women on the hook and is more phony than real interest.

    • Thanks Laura. It’s certainly something that does happen and it’s good you’ve spotted it and are aware of it.

  • Seasaw

    Hello, I’ve been intimate with a married man and he states he thinks of me often. Other times, he reminds me I’m not a permanent thing but his actions indicates he cares. I’ll never understand men but the seesaw effect is driving me looney. I think it’s safe to assume I’m disposable in this whirlwind and needing confirmation. By the way, I think it’s great you give us insight to a male’s mind.

    • Thank you. I’m sure you know what’s best for you and that when you’re involved with a married men – most rules don’t apply, you’re more likely to get hurt, it’s always best to get out before you get too deeply involved.

      I’m positive you can do it and find a great single man for you who’d be perfect.

  • Mwll

    My boyfriend of 2 months, ended abruptly using the excuse that I deserve better than him and what he can offer then 2 days later he text at midnight and says I think about you all the time. How do I respond to this how do I take his last text into context

    • What you have is the “poor poor me” guy. His self-esteem is low. He doesn’t feel “worthy” or capable of love. Worst scenario, he cheated on you.

      Yes, it hurts. Yes it’s not a fun situation to be in, and I feel your pain. I understand how much it sucks.

      Unfortunately I would NEVER advise a woman to get involved with a guy like this until he fixes himself. He will in all likelihood cause you more pain as he tries to figure himself out and why he believes he’s unworthy of your love.

      Sure – rarely or occasionally you’ll find a guy who feels great about things but has a few hard times and snaps quickly by breaking it off. It “could” be a temporary thing IF it’s not in his character to act this way. BUT normally it’s not.

      You must figure these things out before you proceed. If it is his character “low self-esteem, feeling useless, down on himself a lot, play the poor poor me routine, constantly seeking approval, etc…” THEN it’s up to HIM to find himself. No one would ever advise a guy who feels that way to enter a relationship UNTIL such time as he feels better and stronger.

      Not many would also advise you to enter a relationship with him at this point in time either.

      He texted he because he still has feelings for you. As far as I can tell he didn’t break up with you because he wasn’t feeling something for you – he broke up with you for the exact reason he told you.

      I can not tell you how to respond exactly especially after all I shared with you in the comment so far. BUT… if you must, please refrain from trying to build him up – you’ll only give him a false sense of confidence that won’t last.

      Speak to him honestly with what I’ve given you today. Let him know you understand how he feels about himself. Ask him if he’s working on it. Ask him why he feels this way. Let him tell you why he feels unworthy or incapable BUT do NOT use the conversation to rekindle the relationship.

      Again – entering or continuing a relationship under these terms rarely of ever leads to something good, happy, or fulfilling.

      Here’s the article where I explain a guy like this:

      What Was His Excuse To Not Commit To You? Real Fears or Bullshit?

      It should shed some light on your guy.

      All the best to you. Hope this has helped and you’re pain doesn’t last too long and you manage to move on,

  • yvonne

    Hi Pete,

    I had chat with a guy for 1and half mth. He has date me few time, but the words I say make him felt I rejected him. End up we never meet. We start less or more than a week didn’t contact. One day I guess I know he trying to pull away because he didn’t msg me at all and I message him. Both of us was age at above 30. I told him I just wanna simple life and family. He told me that he scare will hurt me. We not really fully get know each other, he say before we get know each other’s we already phigyical.
    He said he need attached, but I didn’t ask as in which part coz I’m angry at tat time. I told him that if he think our character is different, he should reject me and I will never msg him anymore. He answer me, he never say that.now, we never contact each other

  • Yvonne

    What meaning he need attached? I didn’t really ask him as in…

  • chas

    First off thank you for taking time for my questions. My fiance got upset when I was honest with him about my friend anothet man . Because I told him my friend just showed up and we talked and had dinner . And my fiance even said he my friend want’s to get in my pants his own words to me Because no guy can only be a friend to a female with out wanting to get in her pants his own words. We have been together for 3 years and we have a child together , no he had never meet my friend of 12 years . Because I am afraid of how he will be to him . Along with my side , my ? Is Why ? Because he has female friends whom he has hung all over in my presence , when I respectfully told him it hurts to see him doing it . Yes he got mad at me , then went back to the girl 23 years old , touched her bottom . I’m 36 he is 44 . Sorry so much info but I need your honest advice . Thank You .

    • Peter White

      I never like double standards Chas. If he’s friends with women and doing all that stuff and is getting angry with you for having dinner with a friend that I can honestly say this man has severe self-esteem issues.

      That is the real problem. Or the underlying nature of your situation.

      That needs to be dealt with if you want this relationship to survive or last and you might have to go to a third party for that. I can not help you with that.

      You can try counseling or try to take care of the problem yourself with something like this or I could suggest another part. I just like the way Rori deals with relationship issues:


      Let me know if you would like me to research something else for you to try.

      All the best to you and I hope it works out for you,

  • Sherry L Berry

    What do a guy means when he say I don’t think so,but then he say I miss and think of you everyday??????

    • Peter White

      You lost me on the context Sherry. I don’t know why he said I don’t think so to you. I would need to know that to answer you.


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