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What Does a Guy Mean When He Says He Is Thinking About You?

in What Does He Mean
When a guy can not get a girl out of his mind, it means he’s more than just considering some kind of future with her.

Let’s take a look at this from the opposite perspective because it makes the answer that much clearer.

As a guy, I never ever, ever call up a guy friend of mine or text him, or for that fact even dare mention to him,

“I was thinking about you and just decided to tell you.”

With that said – When he says he is thinking about you – it means he wants to see you again…  among other things.

Like how something reminded me of you and I thought if I tell you, it’ll be a romantic gesture. It will show you I’m definitely interested.

For some guys they’re “fishing” for a certain response which would reveal how you feel.

If you answer “Awww that’s sweet.” we probably see it (unless we’re already intimate)  as being just a friend.

If you answer back with a clever flirt we assume you’re interested in being more than just a friend.

No matter how you look at this question when a guy says he is thinking about you it means he’s interested in something deeper. Of course how deep depends almost entirely on the situation.

It’s our little way of testing you, or getting you to reveal how much you miss us or would like to see again.

As a guy, under normal “dating” circumstances I don’t think about women I don’t want in some way. Maybe it’s a relationship. Maybe it’s to see you again. Maybe it’s just to pleasure myself although I probably won’t be telling you about that until there’s a deeper connection.

Men are typically action-orientated but we do think about what we’re going to do. It doesn’t mean we’ll act on it but it does mean we’re considering more. And if that includes you our thoughts can lead us  to imagine a plan for the future.

All things aside…

  • When a guy wakes up thinking about you he’s feeling more than just attraction.
  • When a guy texts you in the middle of the night to tell you what’s on his mind and it’s you, he’s looking for you to confirm the attraction.
  • When a guy can not get you out of his mind he WANTS to be with you. He may be considering a greater commitment.

Bottom Line…

When a guy feels the need to tell you he is thinking about you, it means he’s more than just “interested” in you, he also wants to know or find out if you’ve been thinking about him too.

About the author: Honest, upfront, and an ability to see past the hidden layers is my intended style at why do guys. My goal is to un-complicate men and steer you away from the guys who will only hurt you. My hope is that you learn something, anything, and my writing style is at least a little easy to understand… Thank you, Peter White

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    102 comments… add one
    • Sherry L Berry

      What do a guy means when he say I don’t think so,but then he say I miss and think of you everyday??????

      • Peter White

        You lost me on the context Sherry. I don’t know why he said I don’t think so to you. I would need to know that to answer you.


    • chas

      First off thank you for taking time for my questions. My fiance got upset when I was honest with him about my friend anothet man . Because I told him my friend just showed up and we talked and had dinner . And my fiance even said he my friend want’s to get in my pants his own words to me Because no guy can only be a friend to a female with out wanting to get in her pants his own words. We have been together for 3 years and we have a child together , no he had never meet my friend of 12 years . Because I am afraid of how he will be to him . Along with my side , my ? Is Why ? Because he has female friends whom he has hung all over in my presence , when I respectfully told him it hurts to see him doing it . Yes he got mad at me , then went back to the girl 23 years old , touched her bottom . I’m 36 he is 44 . Sorry so much info but I need your honest advice . Thank You .

      • Peter White

        I never like double standards Chas. If he’s friends with women and doing all that stuff and is getting angry with you for having dinner with a friend that I can honestly say this man has severe self-esteem issues.

        That is the real problem. Or the underlying nature of your situation.

        That needs to be dealt with if you want this relationship to survive or last and you might have to go to a third party for that. I can not help you with that.

        You can try counseling or try to take care of the problem yourself with something like this or I could suggest another part. I just like the way Rori deals with relationship issues:


        Let me know if you would like me to research something else for you to try.

        All the best to you and I hope it works out for you,

    • Yvonne

      What meaning he need attached? I didn’t really ask him as in…

    • yvonne

      Hi Pete,

      I had chat with a guy for 1and half mth. He has date me few time, but the words I say make him felt I rejected him. End up we never meet. We start less or more than a week didn’t contact. One day I guess I know he trying to pull away because he didn’t msg me at all and I message him. Both of us was age at above 30. I told him I just wanna simple life and family. He told me that he scare will hurt me. We not really fully get know each other, he say before we get know each other’s we already phigyical.
      He said he need attached, but I didn’t ask as in which part coz I’m angry at tat time. I told him that if he think our character is different, he should reject me and I will never msg him anymore. He answer me, he never say that.now, we never contact each other

    • Mwll

      My boyfriend of 2 months, ended abruptly using the excuse that I deserve better than him and what he can offer then 2 days later he text at midnight and says I think about you all the time. How do I respond to this how do I take his last text into context

      • Peter White

        What you have is the “poor poor me” guy. His self-esteem is low. He doesn’t feel “worthy” or capable of love. Worst scenario, he cheated on you.

        Yes, it hurts. Yes it’s not a fun situation to be in, and I feel your pain. I understand how much it sucks.

        Unfortunately I would NEVER advise a woman to get involved with a guy like this until he fixes himself. He will in all likelihood cause you more pain as he tries to figure himself out and why he believes he’s unworthy of your love.

        Sure – rarely or occasionally you’ll find a guy who feels great about things but has a few hard times and snaps quickly by breaking it off. It “could” be a temporary thing IF it’s not in his character to act this way. BUT normally it’s not.

        You must figure these things out before you proceed. If it is his character “low self-esteem, feeling useless, down on himself a lot, play the poor poor me routine, constantly seeking approval, etc…” THEN it’s up to HIM to find himself. No one would ever advise a guy who feels that way to enter a relationship UNTIL such time as he feels better and stronger.

        Not many would also advise you to enter a relationship with him at this point in time either.

        He texted he because he still has feelings for you. As far as I can tell he didn’t break up with you because he wasn’t feeling something for you – he broke up with you for the exact reason he told you.

        I can not tell you how to respond exactly especially after all I shared with you in the comment so far. BUT… if you must, please refrain from trying to build him up – you’ll only give him a false sense of confidence that won’t last.

        Speak to him honestly with what I’ve given you today. Let him know you understand how he feels about himself. Ask him if he’s working on it. Ask him why he feels this way. Let him tell you why he feels unworthy or incapable BUT do NOT use the conversation to rekindle the relationship.

        Again – entering or continuing a relationship under these terms rarely of ever leads to something good, happy, or fulfilling.

        Here’s the article where I explain a guy like this:

        What Was His Excuse To Not Commit To You? Real Fears or Bullshit?

        It should shed some light on your guy.

        All the best to you. Hope this has helped and you’re pain doesn’t last too long and you manage to move on,

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