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Why Do Guys…?

How To Figure Out Why Guys Might Only Be Looking For Sex From You

When men are looking for more than just sex from a woman what he looks for.
Why does every guy I meet just want sex and nothing else. And they always say I’m so pretty -- Taz

Hey Taz, most "average" guys when they meet a pretty or attractive woman and their attraction is "triggered" sure for some, it's all or only about sex. I won't lie there. For others it might be something more BUT it's how attraction works for guys.

Now, if the guys you meet are ONLY wanting sex then there's clearly something else going on.

Like I said, we all generally want "it" from the women we're most attracted to but we also want something more from who we believe is the right woman for us.

"A beautiful women – when representing a match to procreate successfully can bring about hormonal changes in our bodies." - Are Guys Really Only Attracted To Looks Or A Sexy Body?

It could be just the guys you're meeting.

It could be how they're interpreting your looks or "sexiness" or the way you're interacting with them.

There's also a varied percentage of guys (depending on where you meet them) who will only ever want sex.

It's safe to assume WHERE makes a huge difference too.

Meet ten guys in a church who are devoted and you'll most likely find a smaller percentage. I'm not a church guy and maybe I'm giving them too much credit but let's just assume they not frequenting church to pick up women. I mean, it's not ideal, right, but is definitely possible.

Meet ten guys in a loud bar where mostly men go, and that percentage goes up not solely dependent on how drunk they are they night. 🙂

Meet ten guys at work or on the street or who are friends of good friends and you'll probably find they're somewhere in the middle line.

So, WHERE and HOW you meet men makes a difference.

Grouping matters too. Groups of just guys and groups of just women tend to bring out the worst in us. 😉 Generally speaking of course.

With that said - I'm not going to make any judgement on your interactions with certain men. Only YOU are privy to that and how you handle some men from the beginning and on.

BUT I will say very honestly how I think as a guy... and what I look for in a woman where just sex is not the only option.

In other words the things we look for in a woman where dating and a possible relationship (sex or not included) might develop.

When I meet an attractive woman who I would like to sleep with, regardless of whether that happens or not, AND she's single, I immediately start looking for other signs that she could possibly be something more than just a body or a sexual fun night or nights.

"Dating comes when we’re at least considering a relationship beyond something casual. We’re feeling you out." - Can A Guy Tell If He Wants The Girl By The Third Date?

Certain things she does, says, or how she acts, or how she acts around others.

Her compassion, her empathy, how genuine she is, how nurturing she is but also how she's not an over nurturer.

HOW I think I can make HER feel or how I think she'd respond to my advancements, sexually or not.

He natural ability to not judge me harshly (or too much) or make quick assessments of me in a negative way.

She must see me "differently" than other guys and make it at least subtlety known. (Granted most guys miss the little hints and are always looking for a grand gesture from a woman but I'm going to say it's not necessary and not always a good thing.)

She must also bring out our masculine side and make it feel (or at least make us believe) our masculinity is doing it's thing. She must make us feel like a real man. Capable and strong.

Next... yes, next and not before and I don't care that some other guys would argue with me on this:

Our commonalities as people. What we like to do and how we like to spend our time.

Which can mean anything from religion, to surfing to cooking to watching ants march up the street. ( Nature buffs. 🙂 )

Yes. Those things CAN be important to us but it's not actually necessary for us to want to be in a relationship with a woman or want "something more".

It's more about who she is, how we make her feel, how she responds to what we do or want to do to her or with her and more.

In the end it becomes more about communication.

How you interpret what we say. We don't want you to always read our mind but it helps if you UNDERSTAND us better than any other woman can AND you're not always judging us on any one single act.

Not lastly of course, and yes, all this and more is just part of the reason why guys are so hesitant about committing to just one woman, you can read more about that in my article Do Guys Have Every Reason To Be Afraid of Commitment?... okay...

Underneath it all our subconscious mind is hard at work.

It's looking for another person to make a super self.

Sure we're taught that we must whole or happy first and to never expect someone else to fill a need or hole because it ends up in failure most of the time.

WHO we are always lacks certain things based on the archetype we're born into and who we become as we mature.

This means those shortcomings, sometimes trivial like orderly, cleaning, time management, memorization, imagination, or what we lack which doesn't make us less than "whole" are very often subconsciously searched for in a potential mate.

Again, quite often it happens underneath the surface but definitely plays a role in our selection.

Very simply put - A math genius will often find himself forever searching for an artist of some type.

You know - making a super US to make a super life from the WHOLE of who we already are. 🙂

I'm not going to say that if guys are not finding all those things with you, then that's the problem. You need to look at the entire picture to see what's really happening.

Where, when, and how you're meeting guys.

How you're interacting with them and whether you're giving them the wrong idea about you OR if they're actually capable or mature enough to get the right idea from you.

Who the guys you're meeting are and what your expectations are from those men.

It's ALWAYS a two-way deal. It's not them entirely all the time. It's not you entirely all the time either.

What you read above is how guys tend to choose a woman for a possible relationship over just preferring one night of sex.

"Men ARE definitely into looks but it’s never the bigger picture of women that they feel attracted to." - Do Looks Always Trump Everything With Guys?

Yes it's a long list and yes, some men even when you meet all those criteria will restrain but that's because of them. It's what we seek but it's not exactly the person we end up with cause other things come into play specifically confidence, self-esteem, social customs, etc...

IF guys think you're pretty and tell you that consistently, BUT are only looking for sex, my suggestion is to step back and look objectively at what is happening from those three main areas:

  • Where, when, and how you're meeting guys.
  • How you're interacting with them early on.
  • Who the guys you're meeting are and your expectations from those types of men.

From there, aside from all the test, I believe you'll gain a clearer picture of what is happening AND with the extra stuff thrown in, how you can begin to change it to suit your needs for more than just sex.

(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
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