Why does every guy I meet just want sex and nothing else. And they always say I’m so pretty -- Taz
I will admit this question about why guys might only want to be looking for sex from you stumped me a little until I decided to go at it from my own experience in being a guy AND then give it to you not holding back anything.
The women I only ever wanted to sleep with... honestly - there wasn't that many at all which leads me to believe...
Since sex is ALWAYS on the table (or in the bedroom for you more traditional folks) - It's safe to assume that the sexual decision comes later.
Which means MOST men won't look at a woman and decide right then and there that sex is the only possibility UNLESS she's in a very precarious position as in drunk off her ass and drooling happily back at him.
He'll take the sex either way and decide later if it's to go onto something else.
This tells me that it comes down to several factors:
- WHERE you're meeting these guys.
- WHEN or what time you're meeting them.
- The TYPES of guys you're meeting.
- HOW you're interacting and communicating with men early on.
I'll start form the beginning.
WHERE you're meeting these guys.
Leaving no assumptions aside it stand to reason that you might not be thinking about the WHERE as much you should for reasons all you're own.
If it's mainly in clubs or bars - that could explain it.
If it's on hook up sites or less strict online dating site - that would explain it also.
If it's only at work and it's not really a career sort of thing - that would explain it because some men will risk losing a lesser job for sex over giving up a long-lasting improvement career. (Although you will find exceptions to that rule.. guaranteed!)
Where you meet ANY man in a way dictates what's coming next.
Meet ten guys in a church who are devoted and you'll most likely find a smaller percentage.
I'm not a church guy and maybe I'm giving them too much credit but let's just assume they not frequenting church to pick up women. I mean, it's not ideal, right, definitely possible but not very probable.
Meet ten guys in a loud bar where mostly men go, and that percentage goes up not solely dependent on how drunk they are they night.
Meet ten guys at work or on the street or who are friends of good friends and you'll probably find they're somewhere in the middle.
Meet a few guys online where they deem it to be a hook-up site and you'll only ever find guys who want to hook up with you.
So - if you haven't thought about the WHERE then that is the first place to figure out why they only ever seem to want to have sex with you.
I can help you solve this problem - just read this and follow the instructions: Advice on How and Where To Meet A Guy, Getting Out Of Your Own Way.
If it's not the WHERE then let's look at the next possible area...
WHEN or what time you're meeting them.
This one in a way coincides with the where but goes a little further because I have to introduce the (and I hate using this word) the EX-factor.
If you're only meeting guys late at night it's safe to assume it's happening a late-night private parties, bars, or clubs, which would lead to the last reason.
BUT there's also other items at play.
If you're only meeting guys who just gout out of a relationship - then chances are you WILL forever be the rebound girl. That is what I would call the EX-factor.
If you're only meeting guys who are married or have girlfriends - you MUST expect they're not actively searching for the love of their life. A fling is what they're after - mostly because again exceptions can come into play if they're not happy or satisfied emotionally in their relationship.
This all means WHEN you meet them in their life can make a big difference.
Younger guys who are less settled - looking for casual sex.
Older men who just got out of a fifteen year relationship - looking for a little nookie.
Middle aged men who haven't found themselves yet and don't know what they want or how to even get it if they could - probably opt for shorter sexual relations with women.
Put it altogether and the WHEN can have a big impact on what guys are looking for from you... consistently.
By the way - I have an entire section in my book, "Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings" on being in two different places which is the more important WHEN - so if this is the problem for you:
Pick up the book, go right to the section titled, "Three Different Dating & Relationship Modes & Not Being In Them Together." - learn about a man's commitment stages AND make sure you are BOTH in the same emotional place at the same emotional time and this problem goes away.
The last few leads to next one:
The TYPES of guys you're meeting.
This list would include a ton of different types.
- Sex addicts.
- Self-Centered and Narcissistic men.
- Guys just starting their career and are focused on that only.
- Men in bad relationships.
- Younger men who feel the need to fuck anything that moves.
- Older men who have yet to mature into REAL men.
- The party types, drug addicts, bad boys,etc...
- Rich men who want something on the side only... for now.
- Type one guys who are not ready yet.
No need to go on in the list because you're getting the point.
The TYPE of men you're meeting will ALWAYS determine what he's looking for from you.
If you're only encountered men of these types, THAT is why you're constantly getting the, "I'm only looking for sex - right now." attitude.
As you read it pay close attention to this section: "Over 65 questions you can ask about ANY guy which reveals the perfect man. You'll be able to tell quickly if he's for real, using you, a player, a good guy, or the ultimate rare REAL man."
You'll definitely know WHO he by the time you're done reading it.
This is where it gets real interesting.
How you're interacting and communicating with men early on.
I must say some women just put out such a strong sexual vibe it's hard for any guy to see past that point at least until it happens.
Who could blame THEM, right?
My point is, when your sexual beauty is overwhelming to some men, not all, that is where his untrained mind will go and that is what he will try for at first - and then see hat happens after.
I'm not advocating you dumb the sexuality down - just a valid reason why this might be happening to you a lot.
IF you're using this strong sexuality to get men to come to you - this will ALWAYS be problem and will tend to follow you around.
How you're interacting with them also goes well-beyond your look of sexuality and transfers over to how you communicate with them AND how you believe you should communicate to them.
Men have two forms of attraction that are generally triggered:
The Physical and the Emotional.
Lots of women believe the only way to a guy's heart is through the physical type and are often disappointed when it doesn't go any further than that.
If you want to connect with a man so it's more than just about sex you must connect to him emotionally above everything else.
The top two experts I always like to refer to emphasis that very same thing:
Rori Raye says,
You can't connect to him through his mind.
You must not connect with him through his body.
And you can't connect with him spiritually either.
As noted in her article on pushing men away:
- Wrong Way #1: The Logical Road (MIND)
- Wrong Way #2: The Physical Road (BODY)
- Wrong Way #3: The Spiritual Road (SPIRIT)
He claims you have to make an EMOTIONAL BOND with a man that goes beyond physical attraction and I believe, in being a man myself, that he's absolutely right.
AND how you do that happens in how you communicate to him and not just rely on physical or sexual attraction to keep him around - because in the end - that is all he'll want from you.
Thus leading you to guys who only ever want to sleep with you AND in your case - tell you how pretty you are - and not much more.
If you're only making strong physical bonds and not much more because you think that's HOW you attract a man - then yes - you'll only get a physical connection.
Here's the solution from the two above:
Have The Relationship You Want shows you exactly how to connect with man's heart and avoid going down the wrong road.
Natural and Lasting Attraction goes deeper and shows you how to bond with a man emotionally in a way which goes above and beyond physical attraction therefore men only wanting sex from you will not be a problem anymore.
Lastly or in conclusion... On Being a Man.
You'll hear lots of guys bring up sex early on. You'll run into many of them that like to talk about it, how they're looking for it, how they're not looking for a relationship (right now) and how they would sleep with her (or sometimes you) but how they (the woman) is not the relationship type.
MOST of them are type two guys (which means they don't understand women) AND they're not very good at getting it, them or just sex.
It also means a few things:
- They don't know what they want, what they're looking for, and how to get it.
- They don't understand or are in touch with their own self and needs.
- They unknowingly confuse mature masculinity with being a man.
Since they don't know what they're looking for or how to get it - they revert to tactics they often see other try OR have been brought up to believe is what they're supposed.
They often fall victim to bad dating advice and blindly prod about hoping something will bite or stick with any woman they're even remotely physically attracted to.
They're stuck in a typical view of what a MALE is supposed to be and do AND by doing so refuse to get in touch with themselves.
Ask lots of these types of guys what it means to be a Mature Masculine man and the responses you will get will not only surprise you BUT prove this and the previous statements.
With all that in place...
They use SEX as a means to go from eye contact to meeting to dating to a sometimes relationship and actually believe the sex part (with or without intimacy) is the bridge to it all or the path to take.
Leading YOU to believe that sex is all they are looking for, from you.
WHICH... unless one or more of the items listed below:
- Where you're meeting these guys.
- When or what time you're meeting them.
- The types of guys you're meeting.
- How you're interacting and communicating with men early on.
... are found to be happening in your life then I guarantee:
No matter what they're saying or how they're acting or HOW they're going about trying to get in your pants is NOT all they're looking for, from you.
I'm positive if you objectively look at your dating criteria based on what you learned today, not only will see it to be true BUT you'll have every opportunity along with meeting the challenge of beating this problem once you eliminate the cause the best you can.