The word love is a deeply treasured word in a man's world. It's often reserved for extreme emotional connections and is rarely spoken lightly or just thrown around.
A man will use the spoken word "love" so sparingly it's a safe bet or often a red flag that if a guy is using it too much - he doesn't meant it. Scary thought, isn't it?
This happens because men are about ACTION.
WHAT a man does and HOW he does it are much clearer and real ways to tell if he loves you or is IN love.
Words can be faked. Words can be lies. Words can be used to manipulate you and make you believe something is real when it's not.
Also - from a man's point of view - to express his love using words means he must know WHAT to say and not every guy can do that successfully.
— Peter White (@PeterWhite125) December 2, 2018
He may not say how much he enjoys being with you but when he's willing to give up sleep just to spend time with you...
That's a TRUE sign of a possible love.
Rather than give you WORDS to help you figure out if a guy loves you or not I'm going to give you something more reliable.
It's not a perfect system or "formula" but it's a much more effective way to help you decode what a man is really saying and what it means to him - thus how it's connected to you.
Words without fear, action, conviction and commitment never represent a deeper feeling and are often used to validate or vocalize something else.
Using that template or whatever you want to call it, you have all the tools to figure out if he means it AND what he means when he's saying it to you.
If a man is telling you something which he has no fear over saying it or if it requires absolutely no courage at all - then how much can it really mean to him.
If a man is not backing up his words with REAL action then either something is holding him back OR they're just words and you should not trust it as a successful path from heart to mind to mouth.
If a man has no conviction (a firmly held belief or opinion) behind what he's saying to you then how much effort or resolve does it take for him to say it. The stronger the belief or opinion he has over saying means he feels a deep emotional connection to it.
If the words he is using to describe his love or affection to you requires no commitment at all - then it makes saying it all too easy. You should realize those words... are just words.
Putting it all together...
If a man is using words without committing to them by doing something or taking real action AND there's no real risk involved in saying them AND they are not backed with conviction and/or some sort of resolve...
This mean they are just WORDS and may not represent what he is feeling.
If a man says he wants to give you the world which you might assume means he loves you and in a guy's world it certainly means that BUT...
If he has no real plan of action, if he's not connecting them to tomorrow or the future (commitment) and he has nothing to lose by saying it (fear or risk) and he's not connected it to something he's passionate about (conviction) then they are just merely words.
This does not mean he doesn't love you or think that he means it because remember above, the path from heart to mind to mouth is not always a simple thing for a guy to traverse BUT it may NOT represent the kind of love you want from him at that moment in time.
It's not what he says or the phrase he uses or even if he claims to "love you" ...
It's the risk he takes to say them, the commitment to back them up with action, and his conviction towards saying them that makes the difference between a guy who truly MEANS what he SAYS.
It may not always represent true love but you'll find one or two more carefully chosen sentences mean a lot more from him then from a guy who "never stops talking" about how much he is in love with you.
Love is a strange thing to figure out if it's real or not.
Putting it in to words for most men is an ever stranger concept.
Some guys may rarely say it but their actions are that of a man who is deeply in love with you.
If one man is always saying it but DOING nothing to prove it, you know it feels fake and forever question his conviction behind it. You'll forever wonder if he really means what he says.
What complicates things further is what love means to a certain guy or what it feels like to him; and then getting THAT into words which actually make some sort of sense is even harder to fully decode.
Leading to the conclusion of my thoughts on how you can figure it all out:
Fear or risk - If it's too easy for him to say it, then how much can it really mean to him or you?
Action - Without backing them up through doing, they're merely concepts or ideas and sure they might mean something to him, but that doesn't guarantee what it means to you and your relationship with him at that point in time.
“Guys don’t always say what they mean. As he’s working out his feelings he’s giving you mixed signals. His behavior will tell the real story if he loves you. These signs will tell you if he loves you or is faking it. You’re connected. Clarity. He cares about being together. He pushes your limits. Meets you halfway.”
Conviction - Without passion, beliefs, strongly expressed opinions - words become merely a way to figure things out in our head. To you, without his conviction to his statements, you can rightly assume he hasn't truly figured out what he wants or even if he means them.
Commitment - A man can tell you he wants to meet up with you on a given day but if he doesn't show up, his words become something less than a commitment. It's narrow example but when it comes to him saying lots of stuff about the future and he never follows through or makes it a point to commit to his words - then they certainly mean less than what he or you might have believed when they were said.
Instead of thinking or over-thinking about what something a guy is saying to you means, consider what you've been shown today first and ask the right questions and you'll find by doing so - will explain a lot more.
- What risk is he taking to say it? What courage is required?
- Is there conviction in what he is saying? Is it tied to something he feels strongly about beside you?
- Is he backing it up with real action? The action doesn't have to be big or life changing, just something to prove to you he actually wants it enough AND is working towards making it happen (with you) in the future.
- Is how he describes what he is feeling with you or want with you require a real commitment or does it feel like shallow promises of something he can never deliver or truly achieve?
Each and every one of those questions are not meant to be singled out.
They work together.
When one is clearly missing - it means something else or less than what you might be led to believe.
This does not mean he might not love you or that he might not believe or feel that way - it could just mean he's not ready, willing, or capable at that point in time and to you - that could be the difference between giving him the space or time he needs or to remove yourself from him so you're not stuck waiting for him forever.
Let's be real - you know as well as most others that WORDS are just WORDS.
What matters more are the feelings or emotions which creates those words.
Love is NOT always about what someone says or even what they think they mean to the individual saying them.
Love is a coming together of many things which always seem to include every WORD or similar word used today.
When you love someone you'll find each one of those "words" can and will come into play and without them - love is just another WORD.
Thanks for stopping by today. I do hope you found the answer you were looking for and you're now ready to ask those important questions about the words he says to you and if he actually means it.
You can learn a lot more about men, how we think, why we say the things we do, and more by signing in below and joining lots of curious women just like you in the why do guys newsletter.
One last thing... please take a look at this promotional video below because it fits perfectly in today's post. If by some chance you didn't find the love answer you were looking for today, this is another opportunity to help you "figure him out".
(Please read my privacy page to explain the link below.)
If you’ve ever found yourself laying up at night, chewing your lip and feeling incredible anxiety in your chest because you don’t know if a man truly *loves* you (or is just using you or waiting for something “better” to come along)…
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7 secret “signs” men unconsciously give off that tell you if a guy is truly in love with you or not…
What’s crazy is that you’ll discover a man can be head-over-heels in love with you and never say the words…
OR he can say the words “I love you” but if he doesn’t pass the other 6 questions it means he’s LYING through his teeth (even if he doesn’t know it himself.)