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Why Do Guys Seem Mean To Girls For No Reason? Why He Is Teasing You

in How Men Attract Women, Quick Guy Question and Answers, Why Do Guys Do
Guy Mean Pointing Teasing Flirt

Most guys are mean to girls for one reason and one reason alone – they’re teasing you because they LIKE you. They’re feeling attracted to you and this is how they’re showing you.

By teasing you (or being a little rude or mean) they’re trying to show you they’re confident and a little indifferent. Which, admit or not, is raising your interest in him and what he’s doing (or else you wouldn’t be asking this question) AND they’re getting you a little attracted to them.

Here’s how it’s seen from our side – a man’s perspective when he’s being taught how to attract you.

“Remember when you were just an eight-year-old kid on the playground?

There were all these ‘strange‘ creatures playing around the sandbox. They were called girls, and they seemed so bizarre and foreign to you.

They were delicate and interesting in a way that you couldn’t quite explain, but you knew that they were different.

How do kids treat those that are different?

They tease them.

  • “Mary, Mary, she’s so hairy!”
  • “Where’d you get that backpack? Looks like a hunchback!”
  • “Jenny’s got a CARROT top!”

Boys teased girls. Girls teased boys.

Everyone made fun of everyone else.

It was sandlot politics at its best, and you learned very quickly that you had to develop a callus to the teasing, or you’d get bruised pretty badly. (Some kids never adjusted, and grew up with their own sandbox issues.)

Ah, what fun those days were.

Well, sort of.

We learned some very primitive social interactions there, but the principles still held for many of us.

(Hey, whether or not you like it, we’re a lot closer to those kids in the playground than the adults you think we are. Everyone is still a little kid inside.)

I’ll be willing to bet you that you teased more girls because you liked them than you did because of any genuine weirdness.

Sure, there’s some cruelty, but the first social interaction most boys have with girls is when they teased them mercilessly.

And what happened?

The girls stuck up for themselves.

They teased back.

And they didn’t realize it at the time, but this set in motion a whole pattern of behavior that led to them being very interested and attracted when they are CHALLENGED.

That’s right, boys.

Teasing is all about raising the stakes of challenge to her, and letting her know that you don’t get all mushy inside when you get near a girl.

No confidence = no attraction from her.

Tease to Please is a simple strategy.

By teasing, you emulate a lot of the self-confidence you need to demonstrate with a woman.”

Written by Carlos Cavallo.

The dating advice guru.  Creator of many products for women looking to figure out and attract men – starting with:

How To Read Signals – Instantly Know What He Wants From You!

This is his way to begin the flirting process.

It’s giving him a reason to talk to you or get you to talk to them.

He’s trying display confidence by showing you he has the balls to tease you whereas a nice guy (who normally doesn’t have much luck or success with women) wouldn’t dare try on you.

He’s showing indifference by proving to you that he really doesn’t seem to care if you like him or what you think of them.

Although in a very strange twist – just by teasing you or being mean to you is actually proving the opposite – and that he DOES like you or cares that you’ll like him back, right?

“He’s out to stir your emotions not unlike the good “ribbing” he may give his friends. Except he’s doing it a little differently with you. At least I hope he is. Mostly he’s looking to have some fun with you.”

Why Do Men Continue to Do Something When They Know it Bothers You.

By using this indifference in this way he’s also (mostly unknowingly) is leading you to believe he doesn’t want you.

Because who in their right mind would be mean to someone they like, thus sending a signal that you can’t have him.

Yes – telling anyone they can’t have someone is normally a good way to make them want it.

“When there’s no real challenge to prove we are, attraction fails. Why you like those who don’t want you and not like the guys who do want you.”

Why The Guys You Like Don’t Want You But You Don’t Want The Ones Who Do.

That’s the main most common reason why a guy is mean to a girl…

To flirt, tease, open you up, make you want him, show confidence, appear indifferent, encourage you to want him.

But there’s more…

Another type of guy who doesn’t feel good enough or capable of being with you tries a nasty trick on you.

Keep in mind – this is rare and most of the time he doesn’t even know he is doing it. It’s even more rare when a guy actually knows he’s doing therefore he IS doing it on purpose.

This is how it works.

When a guy is being OVERLY MEAN to you he is attempting to lower your self-esteem.

He needs to lower it below his and since his is quite low – he must drag you down even further.

Rather than lift himself up – he’ll push you down.

He (well I shouldn’t say he because is actually an all too common social game some “people” play in all areas of life) teases you negatively to make himself appear like he has a higher social status than you AND he’s trying make himself look unattainable.

The purpose is to make you once again feel attracted to him.

The difference between the normal flirting or teasing guy above and this guy is the context he’s using in, how mean he’s being, what he’s poking fun at, at his overall character as man.

Argue all you want but I’d say the first type’s true intention is not to knock you down. He’s just looking to make you laugh with him.

The bigger picture of all this being mean stuff is the effect it is having on you… Which is why attraction experts teach this method to guys.

To get you to feel attracted to a guy, he MUST create some kind of emotional reaction or response.

Unfortunately that response doesn’t always have to be nice, does it?

Encouraging your anger, confusion, or self-doubt will tend to bring you closer to feeling attracted to him any day over a guy who is being creepily nice and kissing your ass all the time.

The purpose is the same… to stir your emotions and create attraction.

Without it – you’ll feel nothing, you probably wouldn’t care, you won’t think about him and why he’s doing it AND you wouldn’t be here today asking this question.

Now men have a choice – most don’t know they have it but they do.

They can traverse the line of just busting your ass a little and having fun with you – which you must admit especially when you give back just as much or more to him can be quite fun OR…

They can cross the line to just being a rude prick who only knows how to piss women off.

You’ll see women with both types of guys MORE than you’ll see a happy woman with some fake nice guy who lacks esteem and confidence and doesn’t have a clue on how to make you FEEL something for them.

PLUS those overly nice guys don’t seem real, do you? It’s like they have some hidden agenda or something or they think they’re better than everyone else – just because they’re nice.

Okay enough of that…

In conclusion.

Age might matter here but it’s not the determining factor.

The fact remains – a guy will be mean or tease a girl because he likes her and that is not only his way of showing her – it’s always his way of trying to stir or trigger your interest and then attraction for him.

In many of your interactions with men this will be true because it’s the end-game.

He could be trying to put you down to build himself up OR could doing in in cool fun way – but both are essentially trying to achieve the same result.

One is minus the pain and hurt.

The other is plus the fun and connection.

For the rare event he’s just a bully AND is poking fun at you because of that – sorry to hear and I DO hope he figures things out before he hurts too many women and emotionally and eventually physically.

Now… just so you know:

I’ve been on the nice side.

Dabbled on the not-so-nice side when I first learned this routine which believe it or not has a name. (This is between you and me so keep the secret – it’s called cocky-comedy and YES it works on guys too.) 

My cross-over to the bad side happened because it’s a tough thing to learn to do right at first. I had to practice and learn the right balance and once I did, stopped pissing women off so much.

My point is:

Once I started doing it the RIGHT WAY with a decent balance – It had amazing results.

I’m not advocating being mean to girls just making a definitive point that since it does work on men and women – you could be assured MOST of the time when a guy is doing to you…

When he’s teasing you – he LIKES you… he’s feeling attracted to you…

AND he’s doing what he can to get YOU to like HIM back.

I find this stuff absolutely amazing. Hope you do too.

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About the author: Honest & upfront but that’s for you to decide. My goal is to un-complicate men and steer you away from the guys who will only hurt you. My hope is that you learn something, anything, about men and it’s easy to understand. Thank you, Peter White

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64 comments… add one
  • DEZ

    I think the way a guy relates to a girl, or anyone is directly related to his sense of self worth… I’ve never met a man who knew how to love himself never mind me.

  • Liliana

    I don’t know how old this is, but I’ll ask anyway. I’m a high school student and the boy who sits next to me always messes with me. He insults me, sneaks up on me and scares me, and he makes me feel bad about myself. I don’t understand why he’s doing it. And honestly, he’s scaring me.

    • Charlie

      Ok,a lot of people always say that the “mean-scary” guy is attracted to you but it does not always mean he loves you!Guys who do these mean things to girlsdo the exact opposite to love .Don’t always trust this advise…

      • Peter White

        I don’t find the word “love” mentioned once in this article. In other words – don’t always trust the guy’s advice on advice when the one giving the opinion didn’t even take the time to read it.

    • Peter White

      The answer is above Liliana. I see no reason why your situation is any different. There is always a chance he’s just a bully but to know that – you must look at how he interacts with ALL people and a very general look at how he might see himself AND a little on his abilities with women.

  • Sarah

    I have a crush on this guy
    He asked me out on a date
    And he’s very confusing
    Sometimes he’s all lovey dovey and then again he’s being rude and sometimes won’t reply to my texts and when he does he’ll be like “yes ” or “no”
    Does he like me or not?

    • Peter White

      He asked you out… then he likes you.

  • Anna

    It’s weird because I see these explanations everywhere but there’s nothing sexier than a man who knows how to treat a woman with respect and kindness.
    If a man teases me, I get hurt and think he’s insecure about his…manliness.
    I want a man who can protect me not a man I need to be protected from.

    Surely, I am not the only woman who find teasing (or as it often is: bullying) the biggest turnoff of all time?

    • Peter White

      You’re absolutely right Anna. There are several kinds of teasing but whenever it even comes close to “Bullying” it’s not attractive at all.

  • Jerissa

    This guy and I had a thing for eachother and now hes being mean. Something happened between us and now he’s cutting me off completely. It hurts because I love him

  • kayle

    Hi Peter I’m Kyle and it was nice to find someone who could talk about the deeper nature in men and their hidden “layers” and I just wanted to ask something, “What is the difference between a guy who is outright Bullying you versus a guy who is playing a mean asshole just to see if you react they way he wants you to because he likes you and is or attracted to you”?by bullying I mean hes doing it out of insecurity inferiority

    • Peter White

      Thank you and Hello,

      Honestly, I don’t see any difference between a guy who is bullying you and a guy who is playing a mean asshole. “Play fight flirting” is one thing but when a guy crosses the line to mean asshole, (whether he’s doing it just because he likes you and is trying to get a response from you or not) then we might as well call it bullying.

      When you think about it, both are coming from a lack of security and therefore both essentially mean the same thing.

      Pete

  • Jai

    A coworker who is in his 50s does this to me. It started out of nowhere and now there’s regular banter. I think he started this to interact and to throw the coworkers off (it’s clear to everyone he’s interested) and now we continue this banter. But how do I get us past this stage and get him to ask me out? He got my attention and now there’s a mutual interest b he t I’m afraid he’ll just keep it like this.

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