≡ Menu

Here’s What It Means When Men Are Always Looking At You

Man Looking Staring You

This question about men looking or staring comes up a lot and so I thought I'd give you a simple and short answer you can use so you'll never wonder again what it means when a guy looks at you.

It simply means this:

They find you attractive. You are triggering an uncontrollable physical attraction towards you.

They could be trying to check out your ass, could be nicely or not-so-appropriately blinded by your cleavage, just watching you move, and/or enjoying any part of you which is their preference area to be sexually attracted to the most.

Consider yourself a highly attractive woman to him and all those that do the same.

Guys will also look your way to catch your eye - they're trying to make eye contact to gauge your interest in them. Once the eye contact is secured, they may or may not approach you (that depends on the guy and the situation AND whether he's a type one or type two ) AND regardless of all that they still want your body language approval of some sorts saying it's okay to talk to you.

They rarely if ever look a woman's way they don't find attractive because they don't want to catch the "wrong" woman's eye and have to deal with the consequences of her just maybe believing he's into her.

The difference between the two types of guys as their looking at you:

Type ones generally have a purpose of looking at you - to secure the approach of you or establish some level of mating ritual dominance. Something you can read more about here: He’s Making Eye Contact & Staring At You Means This – How To Approach Him.

This type is more likely to approach you and start a conversation. He also wants to get caught so eye contact can be made.

Type twos have the same goal in mind BUT they rarely if ever act on it. They look because they like what they see but won't do anything about it.

Since they barely will move forward and do something after eye contact - this type doesn't want to get caught and tends to avoid making direct eye contact.

Both are aware of what they're doing and why and have conscious control over doing it BUT neither has control of what they're feeling while they're doing it.

The only anomalies or variance from what is listed above is if they guy doing the looking is in a relationship.

He's still feeling attracted to you and it is still the reason why he's looking but approaching or starting a conversation is not the purpose.

Most are simply basking in what they find beautiful and enjoying the feelings of attraction.

There are a few exceptions to all this looking which goes beyond the scope of attraction and I'll lightly cover a few of them for you.

Guys will often look my way too and I'm not talking about gay guys just checking me out.

It's to either:

Establish dominance in a group.

When a male enters a room or a place he may scan and make eye contact with many people to see where hit fits within the group. If he catches your eye and it feels like he's looking at you - most of the time he's not (even if he does it a few times) - man or woman - he's trying to establish his dominance or lack of dominance in the group.

Protect and secure their environment.

Similar to establishing dominance he'll look around to find safety in the group. He may then position himself in an area where he feels safe and gives him the opportunity to protect himself.

The security or protection he's looking for is not always from physical attacks unless the area merits it - mostly it's a social anxiety thing and he wants to feel safe and comfortable as he scans the room for potential problems.

Again - it may FEEL like he's looking at you and is finding you attractive but it's not always the case making it easy to misread why it's happening to you. (Especially if it happens a lot.)

Show social awareness.

As he looks around where he is, eye contact is often made with several people to show them he's socially aware of his environment, wants to make others feel more comfortable being around him, and is opening up a sub-textual line of communication to be used later.

The purpose is to make the progression from entering to starting a conversation with a man or woman (friend or stranger) go more smoothly.

It's typically the trait of a guy who is socially exceptional.

I realize there are a few other circumstances where a guy might be looking at you for reasons which are not always so nice BUT based on my experience and knowledge in this area - they are very rare and not worth mentioning today.

While trying to figure out why a guy is looking so much try to keep everything in context. Circumstance and situations will always be slightly relative to why or if it's happening.

How you believe others see or perceive you will also have a small impact as to why you're thinking it's happening. It's best to remain impartial IF you're to see the real reason of it happening.

The most common reason is listed above and I believe it's the best answer that fits...

When a guy is looking at you - he's feeling attracted to you.

Share It With The World!
(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )

About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.

LIKE or SHARE my Facebook fan page: Why Do Guys…? OR JOIN other women discuss guys – Why Do Guys Facebook Group. Find and follow me on Twitter – Peter White.

This article was posted in What Men Are Thinking About When They Stare, Gaze, or Look At You, Why Do Guys – Understanding Men and The Things They Do To Confuse You

Next post:

Previous post:

46 comments… add one
  • Moana

    Hi Peter!
    Thanks for this interesting topic.
    I have this gay guy who always stares long at me and often gives a smile. Well he was our choir conductor and while we are practicing, his direction is always facing me very often as compared to the rest. He also likes listening to what I say most of the time. Whenever I talk, he always takes note although others don’t even care to listen. But we asked him one time if he likes any girl in the choir and he says “no”. I accidentally said “ouch” while rubbing my eyes and then he noticed my reaction. Admittedly he is openly gay but he stares and smiles at me all the time. There were times, he complements other people. One time he asked a not so pretty gay guy, “why are you so beautiful” and then without looking to that person, he turned towards me and ask what is my reaction. He often insert my name in many conversations although I was not present in those occasions.

    The question is, does he like me in a romantic manner? Or is it only a superficial admiration? How should I react to show I’m interested in him whenever he stares at me? I’m getting confused, because if its only admiration he could have told me that I am pretty upfront like other gay guys do but he never did.

    Thanks in advance for your response. Hope I could have clarity on this.

    • Peter White

      Hi Moana,

      He’s gay and unless he’s bisexual, he does not like you in a romantic manner. If you want to found that out I would actually suggest you ask him if he goes both ways. Trust me I’m sure he won’t find your question objectionable.

      You can not detect the signals he’s giving you the same way a straight guy would because, he might admire your beauty, or things like that, but there’s little or no chance he’s feeling attraction because the same way you feel it for guys, is the same way he feels it for guys too.

      Pete

  • Tiffany

    Hi Peter
    I was wondering why everytime a girl walks by a guy in a group he always has to notify his friends to look at that girl. Why can’t he just notice the girl individually without involving his friends. I feel like when this happens to me I get the feeling that I’m being scrutinized and judged. It’s an uncomfortable feeling when you’re minding your business and all of a sudden people’s heads turn to look at you and talk about you. Can you let me in on some insight please?

    • Peter White

      Hi Tiffany,

      Men (actually ALL people) tend to act differently when they’re in a social group. There’s a lot of positioning going on. People try to show off, be heard, fit in, and most of them try to feel like they are part of a group.

      It’s just social dynamics and it’s never reserved just for one sex. It happens among women, at work, and even in line while waiting to get cashed out.

      I’d say that’s what this guy (and lots of other guys ) are doing. He’s trying to fit in. Show his fellow mates he has a good eye for checking out girls. He’s showing off. Proving he knows what an attractive woman looks like.

      I realize this doesn’t help with you feeling like you’re being judged or scrutinized because in a way, you are BUT I can tell you that’s it’s more about the social group dynamics than it is about you.

      Brush it off and hopefully see it for what it is really – sometimes childish actions from immature men who are more interested in fitting in or showing off than it is about you personally.

      One more thing – it’s human nature to want and feel compelled to tell others when they see or find something they like not dependent on what that item (or person) happens to be. In a way, it’s how and why so many social media platforms do so well. Unfortunate? Maybe. But the truth.

      Thanks Tyffany,

      Pete

  • Jay

    So this guy that I work with looks at my all the time. I could be across the room and his eyes find me. He sometimes act like he isn’t looking at me but I see him out of the corner of my eye. Then there are days he flirts with girls and I get mad and he seems to tell that I’m upset and changes up and tries to be humble and nice to me and talk soft and stuff. He looks at my ass all the time. Even others have told me he was looking while I walk away, he listens and does anything I ask him to do. And always wants my help. Even makes me laugh all the time. Sometimes it’s hard to make conversation because he knows I like him but I can’t tell if he is giving off he likes me but scared to tell me. “Gay”

  • Liv

    So this guy told me he was serious about liking, couple of days later hes going through some issues. I admit i didnt really respect that and we fought. Later i apologized but he was still upset and tells me not to wait for him. Couple days later he contacts again likee we didnt fight before and tells me he still wants me. Then we didnt see/talk till last week. He made a lot of eye contact and stared at me but made no move to talk to me. Im scared hes moved on or still mad and wants nothing with me. I constantly think and miss him but i havent talked or bothered since the last contact. I really do like him and ive tried to get over him but i cant, ive even cut myself off from seeing and all. I really want to fix this before he leaves to the army, but i need to know if he still cares and how to gain his trust back.

Leave a Comment