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Why Do Guys…?

If Men Are Always Looking At You – What Does It Mean?

Guy Staring Looking You

Men always look at me too and I'm not talking about just gay guys. It doesn't have to mean more than just taking in the situation.

Although it can so make sure you read on...

It could be just something I'll call, "Protecting Our Environment".

You see some guys are scared of their surroundings.

They need to feel like they have a handle on the unpredictable.

They're in "protection" mode.

Let me put it this way:

If you feared for your life in one way or another and you walked into a room full of strangers, some of them were men who not only could beat the shit out of you, but are entirely better with women than you are - you'd find a way to protect yourself from getting hurt.

Physically and/or emotionally.

You might do certain things to protect your little bubble.

You create a safety area.

You scope out the scene without making too much eye contact - because in nature when a male stares down another male there are usually only two results - Fight or Flee.

This also means you're going to make certain eye contact just to assure it's "all good."

When you take in your surroundings and the places guys are staring, you must first realize the environment and a man's self-conscious thoughts do play a role.

Keep it all in context.

After that, when you're convinced there's definitely more going on...

If men are always looking at you it simply means you ARE attractive.

Man Admit Staring Attraction You

You are triggering his physical attraction towards you.

Whether they're trying to check out your ass, are blinded "nicely" by your cleavage, admiring your legs, just watching the way you move, or whatever their preference is - if guys are always looking at you, I would take it a very good sign that you are in fact a highly attractive woman to that certain type of man.

Hence the term - attractive.

Women catch my eye all the time.

I NEVER stare at women who I don't find attractive.

First of all it's to protect me and her from a weird approach.

Yes. I don't want to lead her on. And yes, this is typically a bar or pub thing.

Secondly it's because there's something about a woman I find attractive which captures my attention.

On one level I can control what I stare at but there's always a weak part of me which kind of finds it impossible to avoid.

Sometimes I just don't care if I get caught.

Sometimes I do.

Oddly enough most men like me don't want to get caught by the women we are the most attracted too because we feel that would ruin our chances of something else happening. (As far fetched as that sounds.)

We're less likely to care if we get caught if we're in a relationship because we're just simply checking you out.

When there's little chance of something happening we may be more inclined to enjoy the attractive urges fully.

That's because feeling attractive to a woman feels good and staring at her or checking her out - or taking in her every move is a pleasurable experience every man enjoys whether he admits it or not or whether he does it or not.

When we engage our physical attraction to a woman by noticing her and acknowledging the attraction is there to ourselves or our friends - for that fraction of a moment we feel masculine and good at being a guy. (Sort of)

After that what a guy feels or how he responds involves much more of his character, confidence and his beliefs.

Which we'll leave for another "guy answers" post.

While all of us guys have our own specific preferences and our attraction is triggered by different "parts" of a woman - when we're looking, staring, or just catching your eyes we've already realized within a fraction of a second...

We are in fact, attracted to you.

(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
47 comments… add one
  • Grace

    Hi Peter,
    There’s this guy at work from the moment we met I always catch him staring at me. Wherever I am I can always feel someone eyes on me and when I will turn I will catch his eyes on me, and although I caught him he will still keep staring and smile.

    This whole thing between him and I has been going on for over a year now.. I just wanna know what’s going on, if it means anything at all or if it’s just a guy thing.

    Sometimes when we are in the same place he lingers around longer instead of just walking away and also when he sees me there and will always try to start a conversation with me and most of the time he’s always trying to tease me. Sometimes as well he will always try to have some physical contact like brushing his hands against mine or when he pass through our bodies have to touch.

    Once we were making our way back in our offices he presented his hands to me, I thought he wanted to carry the stuff I was holding and when I was giving it to him he kept on retrieving it back. So I told him why he was asking for it and he told me that he was asking to hold my hand, and mind you he’s girlfriend friend was just right behind us, as if he didn’t care if she heard him or not.

    He’s not shy, I’ve seen him with his friends and he’s very outgoing even with other girls but he doesn’t behave or look at them the way he does with me(although I’m not really sure when I’m off work). But the problem is that he has a girlfriend and the whole company know about them, and he’s also very good looking which doesn’t help and get a lot of females attention.

    And another thing is that everytime he’s girlfriend sees me she always gives me a cold stare and will talk to all the people around but will purposely ignore me and I don’t know why. And that’s from the moment I joined the company but I met her boyfriend first so at the time I thought he was single. Although when I joined the company she received a promotion so I never had the chance to know her. And everybody’s saying she’s a nice girl so I really don’t get why she’s being like that with me.

    Is it really nothing at all? Or is he attracted to me or anything? Why does he do this? I’m really confused as I said it has been going on for over a year now, I really don’t know what he wants.

  • Shay

    Hey Pete!
    Theres this guy manager that I catch looking at me all the time, even from across the room. Sometimes he looks away sometimes he doesn’t. He ignores me in a group all the time. He’ll say hi when were alone (rarely) but if other people are there, I don’t exist. When he first got hired he would always say hi and was really nice to me but it threw me off a bit because I’m shy. So sometimes I wouldn’t say hi back or just kind of ignore him. I really didn’t mean to I just chocked. Then after that he started to ignore me and started paying a lot of attention to my friend he would always flirt with her and be around her. He even got a bit rude to me. He even told her manager that if he wasn’t a manager or was single he would talk to her. (When he first got hired he didn’t have a girlfriend.) I’m not sure if he has one now. He’s stopped messing with my friend. I still keep catching him taking peeks at me out the corner of his eye. He’ll even be coming down the escalator and his eyes will be glued to me. I’m so confused. Its just always a bit awkward but hes always quick to help and isnt mean anymore.

  • Moana

    Hi Peter!
    Thanks for this interesting topic.
    I have this gay guy who always stares long at me and often gives a smile. Well he was our choir conductor and while we are practicing, his direction is always facing me very often as compared to the rest. He also likes listening to what I say most of the time. Whenever I talk, he always takes note although others don’t even care to listen. But we asked him one time if he likes any girl in the choir and he says “no”. I accidentally said “ouch” while rubbing my eyes and then he noticed my reaction. Admittedly he is openly gay but he stares and smiles at me all the time. There were times, he complements other people. One time he asked a not so pretty gay guy, “why are you so beautiful” and then without looking to that person, he turned towards me and ask what is my reaction. He often insert my name in many conversations although I was not present in those occasions.

    The question is, does he like me in a romantic manner? Or is it only a superficial admiration? How should I react to show I’m interested in him whenever he stares at me? I’m getting confused, because if its only admiration he could have told me that I am pretty upfront like other gay guys do but he never did.

    Thanks in advance for your response. Hope I could have clarity on this.

    • Peter White

      Hi Moana,

      He’s gay and unless he’s bisexual, he does not like you in a romantic manner. If you want to found that out I would actually suggest you ask him if he goes both ways. Trust me I’m sure he won’t find your question objectionable.

      You can not detect the signals he’s giving you the same way a straight guy would because, he might admire your beauty, or things like that, but there’s little or no chance he’s feeling attraction because the same way you feel it for guys, is the same way he feels it for guys too.


  • Tiffany

    Hi Peter
    I was wondering why everytime a girl walks by a guy in a group he always has to notify his friends to look at that girl. Why can’t he just notice the girl individually without involving his friends. I feel like when this happens to me I get the feeling that I’m being scrutinized and judged. It’s an uncomfortable feeling when you’re minding your business and all of a sudden people’s heads turn to look at you and talk about you. Can you let me in on some insight please?

    • Peter White

      Hi Tiffany,

      Men (actually ALL people) tend to act differently when they’re in a social group. There’s a lot of positioning going on. People try to show off, be heard, fit in, and most of them try to feel like they are part of a group.

      It’s just social dynamics and it’s never reserved just for one sex. It happens among women, at work, and even in line while waiting to get cashed out.

      I’d say that’s what this guy (and lots of other guys ) are doing. He’s trying to fit in. Show his fellow mates he has a good eye for checking out girls. He’s showing off. Proving he knows what an attractive woman looks like.

      I realize this doesn’t help with you feeling like you’re being judged or scrutinized because in a way, you are BUT I can tell you that’s it’s more about the social group dynamics than it is about you.

      Brush it off and hopefully see it for what it is really – sometimes childish actions from immature men who are more interested in fitting in or showing off than it is about you personally.

      One more thing – it’s human nature to want and feel compelled to tell others when they see or find something they like not dependent on what that item (or person) happens to be. In a way, it’s how and why so many social media platforms do so well. Unfortunate? Maybe. But the truth.

      Thanks Tyffany,


  • Jay

    So this guy that I work with looks at my all the time. I could be across the room and his eyes find me. He sometimes act like he isn’t looking at me but I see him out of the corner of my eye. Then there are days he flirts with girls and I get mad and he seems to tell that I’m upset and changes up and tries to be humble and nice to me and talk soft and stuff. He looks at my ass all the time. Even others have told me he was looking while I walk away, he listens and does anything I ask him to do. And always wants my help. Even makes me laugh all the time. Sometimes it’s hard to make conversation because he knows I like him but I can’t tell if he is giving off he likes me but scared to tell me. “Gay”

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