Here’s What It Means When Men Are Always Looking At You

Man Looking Staring You

This question about men looking or staring comes up a lot and so I thought I'd give you a simple and short answer you can use so you'll never wonder again what it means when a guy looks at you.

It simply means this:

They find you attractive. You are triggering an uncontrollable physical attraction towards you.

They could be trying to check out your ass, could be nicely or not-so-appropriately blinded by your cleavage, just watching you move, and/or enjoying any part of you which is their preference area to be sexually attracted to the most.

Consider yourself a highly attractive woman to him and all those that do the same.

Guys will also look your way to catch your eye - they're trying to make eye contact to gauge your interest in them. Once the eye contact is secured, they may or may not approach you (that depends on the guy and the situation AND whether he's a type one or type two ) AND regardless of all that they still want your body language approval of some sorts saying it's okay to talk to you.

They rarely if ever look a woman's way they don't find attractive because they don't want to catch the "wrong" woman's eye and have to deal with the consequences of her just maybe believing he's into her.

The difference between the two types of guys as their looking at you:

Type ones generally have a purpose of looking at you - to secure the approach of you or establish some level of mating ritual dominance. Something you can read more about here:

He’s Making Eye Contact & Staring At You Means This – How To Approach Him.

This type is more likely to approach you and start a conversation. He also wants to get caught so eye contact can be made.

Type twos have the same goal in mind BUT they rarely if ever act on it. They look because they like what they see but won't do anything about it.

Since they barely will move forward and do something after eye contact - this type doesn't want to get caught and tends to avoid making direct eye contact.

Both are aware of what they're doing and why and have conscious control over doing it BUT neither has control of what they're feeling while they're doing it.

The only anomalies or variance from what is listed above is if they guy doing the looking is in a relationship.

He's still feeling attracted to you and it is still the reason why he's looking but approaching or starting a conversation is not the purpose.

Most are simply basking in what they find beautiful and enjoying the feelings of attraction.

There are a few exceptions to all this looking which goes beyond the scope of attraction and I'll lightly cover a few of them for you.

Guys will often look my way too and I'm not talking about gay guys just checking me out.

It's to either:

Establish dominance in a group.

When a male enters a room or a place he may scan and make eye contact with many people to see where hit fits within the group. If he catches your eye and it feels like he's looking at you - most of the time he's not (even if he does it a few times) - man or woman - he's trying to establish his dominance or lack of dominance in the group.

Protect and secure their environment.

Similar to establishing dominance he'll look around to find safety in the group. He may then position himself in an area where he feels safe and gives him the opportunity to protect himself.

The security or protection he's looking for is not always from physical attacks unless the area merits it - mostly it's a social anxiety thing and he wants to feel safe and comfortable as he scans the room for potential problems.

Again - it may FEEL like he's looking at you and is finding you attractive but it's not always the case making it easy to misread why it's happening to you. (Especially if it happens a lot.)

Show social awareness.

As he looks around where he is, eye contact is often made with several people to show them he's socially aware of his environment, wants to make others feel more comfortable being around him, and is opening up a sub-textual line of communication to be used later.

The purpose is to make the progression from entering to starting a conversation with a man or woman (friend or stranger) go more smoothly.

It's typically the trait of a guy who is socially exceptional.

I realize there are a few other circumstances where a guy might be looking at you for reasons which are not always so nice BUT based on my experience and knowledge in this area - they are very rare and not worth mentioning today.

While trying to figure out why a guy is looking so much try to keep everything in context. Circumstance and situations will always be slightly relative to why or if it's happening.

How you believe others see or perceive you will also have a small impact as to why you're thinking it's happening. It's best to remain impartial IF you're to see the real reason of it happening.

The most common reason is listed above and I believe it's the best answer that fits...

When a guy is looking at you - he's feeling attracted to you.

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This article was posted in What Men Are Thinking About When They Stare, Gaze, or Look At You, Why Do Guys – Understanding Men and The Things They Do To Confuse You

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47 comments… add one
  • Tiffany

    Hi Peter
    I was wondering why everytime a girl walks by a guy in a group he always has to notify his friends to look at that girl. Why can’t he just notice the girl individually without involving his friends. I feel like when this happens to me I get the feeling that I’m being scrutinized and judged. It’s an uncomfortable feeling when you’re minding your business and all of a sudden people’s heads turn to look at you and talk about you. Can you let me in on some insight please?

    • Peter White

      Hi Tiffany,

      Men (actually ALL people) tend to act differently when they’re in a social group. There’s a lot of positioning going on. People try to show off, be heard, fit in, and most of them try to feel like they are part of a group.

      It’s just social dynamics and it’s never reserved just for one sex. It happens among women, at work, and even in line while waiting to get cashed out.

      I’d say that’s what this guy (and lots of other guys ) are doing. He’s trying to fit in. Show his fellow mates he has a good eye for checking out girls. He’s showing off. Proving he knows what an attractive woman looks like.

      I realize this doesn’t help with you feeling like you’re being judged or scrutinized because in a way, you are BUT I can tell you that’s it’s more about the social group dynamics than it is about you.

      Brush it off and hopefully see it for what it is really – sometimes childish actions from immature men who are more interested in fitting in or showing off than it is about you personally.

      One more thing – it’s human nature to want and feel compelled to tell others when they see or find something they like not dependent on what that item (or person) happens to be. In a way, it’s how and why so many social media platforms do so well. Unfortunate? Maybe. But the truth.

      Thanks Tyffany,


  • Moana

    Hi Peter!
    Thanks for this interesting topic.
    I have this gay guy who always stares long at me and often gives a smile. Well he was our choir conductor and while we are practicing, his direction is always facing me very often as compared to the rest. He also likes listening to what I say most of the time. Whenever I talk, he always takes note although others don’t even care to listen. But we asked him one time if he likes any girl in the choir and he says “no”. I accidentally said “ouch” while rubbing my eyes and then he noticed my reaction. Admittedly he is openly gay but he stares and smiles at me all the time. There were times, he complements other people. One time he asked a not so pretty gay guy, “why are you so beautiful” and then without looking to that person, he turned towards me and ask what is my reaction. He often insert my name in many conversations although I was not present in those occasions.

    The question is, does he like me in a romantic manner? Or is it only a superficial admiration? How should I react to show I’m interested in him whenever he stares at me? I’m getting confused, because if its only admiration he could have told me that I am pretty upfront like other gay guys do but he never did.

    Thanks in advance for your response. Hope I could have clarity on this.

    • Peter White

      Hi Moana,

      He’s gay and unless he’s bisexual, he does not like you in a romantic manner. If you want to found that out I would actually suggest you ask him if he goes both ways. Trust me I’m sure he won’t find your question objectionable.

      You can not detect the signals he’s giving you the same way a straight guy would because, he might admire your beauty, or things like that, but there’s little or no chance he’s feeling attraction because the same way you feel it for guys, is the same way he feels it for guys too.


  • Teresa

    I work at a large organization. There is this man that I believe has some interest in me. We do not directly work together but see each other in the hallways, other departments, etc. I catch him staring at me from a distance when he sees me and he won’t look away if he’s there. He will not miss any opportunity to say “hi”, “how is your day going?”, just friendly stuff. The other day he even stopped me and asked how my day, where I am from, etc and I think we talked for about 10-15 minutes, but we were not completely alone.
    One day I was at a different department with a female coworker and I saw this man. He was coming towards me and was about enter the room on his right, but stopped & kept looking at me. I briefly said something to my female coworker to see if he will look away or get distracted, but he waited a few minutes till I looked at him, smiled and said “hi there”. He smiled back and could see that look in his eyes.
    Anyway… just little things about him and the way he looks at me that I think there may be something going on… Is there a possibility that this man is into me?
    I have noticed that he doesn’t maintain eye contact with other women. When I am anywhere that he can see me, he always looks at me, and it almost seems like there isn’t anyone he can look at!

  • Confused in Denver

    Ok, so my question comes from work.

    There is a really hot guy who I know has a girlfriend who works at the same company but in a different department so I rarely ever see them together.

    About twice a week (sometimes more) I run into him at the ice machine, in the company store, on the way to either in the lobby or on our way to the parking lot. Every time I see him, he is looking at me and sometimes it feels as if he HAS to make eye contact. When he walks through the room, I can feel someone staring until I look up and I see him looking at me. Then I look away and then back because I’m shy and not sure what to say. We have exchanged a few words but for the most part, we are always looking at each other.

    What does this mean? Would it just be a regular attraction that I should push away because I know his girlfriend works there? Or do I need to pay more attention to it. If I knew he were single, I would definitely be all over it but not sure what I need to do or if I should just enjoy the attention. This has been going on for a few months now and seems to be getting a bit more intense.

    Confused in Denver

    • Peter White

      You know what us “hot guys” do all the time… make eye contact with lots of women. 🙂 Whether we’re in a relationship or not doesn’t seem to matter.

      It could mean more. He could be thinking of straying. He could be keeping his options open just in case. And he could be doing it every woman he’s attracted to.

      The thing is, you know he has a girlfriend… enjoy the attention if that’s what you want.

      You could do exactly what he’s doing, if that’s the case. Making it mean more. Hoping he’ll stray. Keeping YOUR option of him open just in case. Or checking out every hot guy who comes into your view.

      The more important thing is – if it’s only eye contact and not much more – then he’s probably just doing what us “hot guys” do… enjoy making eye contact with a woman we’re attracted to.

      Hope the helps your confusion Miss Denver,


  • lina

    Hello 🙂
    Theres à guy we’ve just met and he kindof he was straightly and deeply looking into my eyes ! And I think everyone in the room noticed that because they were all staring at me . So anyway I was watching tv (and the tv was next to him ) ,,I got nervous alot so i started staring at the screeen from corner to corner very fast and I don’t know if he noticed that but anyway , then , I caught him staring at my legs I stared at him from 3sec but he kept looking down even when he was watching tv I looked at him but I don’t know if he noticed that Cz his eyes almost came to my side abit but then I looked away ,,, finally when he’s leaving he quite approached everyone in the room and he headed to me but suddenly he approached mom and went ,,, what do you guys think??

    • Peter White

      Hello to you too Lina 😀

      It just sounds like the pressure of the surroundings made it it practically impossible to approach you. It would be one thing if you were alone or in a public place, or had a third person get the conversation rolling…

      But I would say, under the circumstances, approaching a woman who seemingly caught you several times checking her out ( probably sexually ) and then do something about it in front of the entire room would cause lots of men to be a little too nervous to proceed.

      I’m willing to bet – when the situation is different and you give him some “better come talk to me punk” signals – you’ll find out how much he enjoyed checking out.

      Have fun with it Lina,


  • jane

    plz help me wit dis
    will a guy care what a girl thinks about him?
    Why would a guy do that?
    Do all guys give explanations?
    He is not my bf just a friend.but am wondering why would a guy care what she thinks of him.
    Please let me know..

  • Tai

    Hi Pete,

    That makes a lot of sense now that really think about it. Duh!

    Thanks a lot for writing back, I appreciate it.

    • Peter White

      You’re welcome Tai 🙂

  • sam

    hey Peter..
    There ws a guy who liked me,he didn’t tell me but i could know by his actions.
    i was cold towards him and he came to know dat i wasn’t interested,so he also became cold towards me.The last tym i saw him….and he also saw me.After some tym i had hidden somwhere from where i could see him but he couldn’t see me.And i saw him looking in my direction….and when he ws leaving also he ws repeatedly turning in my direction like he ws waiting for me.He ws turning in my direction and there ws no one else there.would a guy do dat??Please let me know…thank you 🙂

  • Tai

    Hi Pete. A guy once told me when we finally met face to face that he was hoping I was ugly, that way he thought if she’s ugly I won’t be attracted to her, but when I walk into the room and he saw that I was pretty, he was like oh my god, and knew it was a rap. Now people lie of course, do you think he meant what he said? Do some men hope that a woman they finally meet face to face is ugly, so they won’ t fall for them?

    • Peter White

      Hi Tai,

      Sounds like a routine to me. There’s a slim chance he actually believes what he said but very doubtful.

      Not many men approve to meet a girl hoping she’s ugly. It just sounds absurd unless he’s married, committed to another woman… or gay. 🙂

      BUT… it’s a clever introduction whether it’s a planned routine or something he’s used before on another woman.

      The best compliments are not always direct and this one kind of works indirectly to show you how attractive he thinks you are.

      Think about if he was telling you the truth then what is he really saying… “I hope I’m not attracted to her because if she is, she’s not going to like me back.” That would be a more realistic man thought.

      Like how he’s going to screw it up or you won’t find HIM attractive or something negative against himself due to a lack of confidence or his past experiences with attractive women were disastrous.

      It doesn’t sound like that is him so I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s devised a clever introduction to compliment you without sounded like every other guy.

      So Tai – men can’t help their attraction and I’ve not met ONE guy who doesn’t want to feel it – just because they’re afraid. I’m sure they’re out there but based upon the context of your situation, my conclusion remains that is was a “line”.

      Thanks for writing in,


  • mary

    if a girl ignores a guy beause she is shy and he thinks it as her arrogance,and now he takes revenge by ignoring her guys do like that??what it they liked the girl,can they revenge like that??
    Please explain….urgently need ur response

    • Peter White

      Well Mary – in this world guys (and ladies) have been known to do just about anything with regards to opposite sex interaction.

      But I don’t believe it’s all too common for any guy to seek revenge. It only seems that way.

      He’s probably started ignoring you because he thought you’re not interested in him. Yes. Some guys do see it arrogance if you’re very attractive and shy away from socializing with guys you don’t know but mostly they will assume you’re not interested in meeting or talking.

      Depending on his experience, confidence, and success with women.

      No experience – Usually takes it as a personal judgement against him thus more of a chance he’ll seek anger revenge but still highly unlikely.

      No confidence – Sees it as rejection and definitely sees it as a more personal thing but again, men who have little confidence rarely take charge just to seek revenge.

      Success with women – Brushes it off as you’re not interested, maybe you’re not single, maybe you’re having a bad day, and so on. Normally men who are successful with women don’t take it personal and will typically assume it’s you, not them. Revenge is normally not his best suit either because guys who are extremely successful with women tend to be more Alpha and their emotions rarely get to them to cause him to seek out revenge against you.

      That kind of narrows they type of guy who would do it purposely.

      Now if they like the girl doesn’t seem to matter because his character (above) dictates most of his actions HOWEVER “attraction” happens along with emotional highs and lows. Like, hate, love, anger are sort of the same. One positive the other being negative. Whenever emotions are stirred things like this are more likely to happen.

      If he didn’t care he would have no reason for revenge. It’s a reason we tend to hurt the ones we love the most (sometime.) Generally speaking of course.

      Urgently yours 🙂


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