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Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Guys Seem Mean To Girls For No Reason? Why He Is Teasing You

in How Men Attract Women, Quick Guy Question and Answers, Why Do Guys Do
Guys enjoy teasing women when there’s a hint of flirting involved in it.

Hello Kadiatou,

There are actually many reasons why guys can be a little mean to girls.

Let’s assume we’re talking about younger guys so as they get older you might notice they can get a little nicer but it’s not always the case. A debatable percentage of men never grow up with regards to how they communicate or commit to women.

It’s called teasing.

“He’s out to stir your emotions not unlike the good “ribbing” he may give his friends. Except he’s doing it a little differently with you. At least I hope he is. 🙂 Mostly he’s looking to have some fun with you.”

Why Do Men Continue to Do Something When They Know it Bothers You.

Sometimes it’s the ONLY way they know how to flirt.

If it’s not obvious that the guy is being a rude prick then you can guess he is attracted to you.

Why it happens and where it begins is a little more complicated.

My “manly” gut tells me it’s about using the old stupid trick against what some might call a woman’s greatest weaknesses with men…

Wanting what they (think) they can’t have AND having a perceived low self-esteem.

Teasing her negatively (or being mean) might be his way of lowering your self-esteem below his and by doing so, also makes him seem more attractive and less attainable.

If you find a guy “hard to get” or believe he would never be attracted to you, it has a strange effect of driving up your attraction for him.

Another effect of being somewhat mean to women is definitely being taught to lots of guys in every attraction book written.

It triggers an emotional response which for bad, better, or worse, definitely triggers attraction of some sort.

If he can’t make you feel something “nice” for him, why not make you feel something bad for him…. right?

Encouraging your anger, confusion, or self-doubt will tend to bring you closer to feeling attracted to him than a guy just being way too nice and kissing your ass all the time.

Lastly, if there ever was a lastly when we’re talking about us guys, it’s a very strange and weird way of a dude displaying indifferent confidence.

“When there’s no real challenge to prove we are, attraction fails. Why you like those who don’t want you and not like the guys who do want you.”

Why The Guys You Like Don’t Want You But You Don’t Want The Ones Who Do.

What guy who doesn’t have the balls would dare tease a woman or be slightly mean or rude to her, right?

So, in a way he’s displaying indifference because he showing you he doesn’t care how you see him or what you think of him.

He’s displaying confidence by not being afraid to say or do what’s on his mind.

All too nice guys struggle with this and it’s a big reason why they don’t attract lots of women.

They’re niceness is not trusted or believed or seems real when they’re so deathly afraid of saying what’s on their mind… around a woman that is. At home or with their buddies, the truth ALWAYS comes out.

Guys are mostly ONLY mean to girls they’re attracted to whether or not they care to admit their feelings.

Let’s not rule out the pricks who just get off on making others feel like shit by boosting their own ego, so it’s not always attraction.

However, generally speaking, a crush is usually involved.

Sometimes you’ll have to decide whether or not the guy has a severe character flaw or is just teasing you by being mean.

The easiest way to tell is, if he’s “trying” to laugh with you then he is “teasing” you!

Over all, in case you’re wondering…

YES! Some guys DO enjoy teasing a woman while being a little rude to her IF there’s a raised level of flirting because of it.

Flirting is a mostly human connection on a level which transcends society, age, and circumstance. Why Do Men (and women) Flirt? Does it Have Anything To Do With Love?

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58 comments… add one
  • Madelyn

    I go to school with a guy named Cole and to be honest I kinda like him, but he is so rude to me all the time and I dont know why, today he asked if I still had a boyfriend and I said no and he told me he probably broke up with me cuz he seen how ugly I was, I dont know why he would say that but it was really rude. Please help me.

    • Peter White


      I will say, based on what this guy said to you – stay far away from him.

      If he said it because he likes you, then he doesn’t understand women at all and it’s best to leave it be. I’m sure you deserve much better than a boy who hasn’t learned how to treat another human being.

      You’re probably going to run into a lot of rude men who act like little boys in your life so it’s best now to learn how to walk away and reject them and their little games they play.

      Your friend,


  • Crystal

    There’s a guy I only just met a few weeks ago whose personality – his random funny comments and his overall dedication and passion toward the major he’s studying – I find extremely compelling, and I definitely agree about that sort of blatant indifference mistaken as confidence playing a huge role in my growing attraction.

    Luckily I don’t think the only factor is “hard to get” when it comes to him (although you’re also partly right since I have zero interest in the guys who are too obvious). I’ve noticed that I feel a lot less emotionally safe around him when he teases me, even when I know he’s just joking with me. I much prefer his normal spontaneous personality, the way he tries to understand my thoughts and feelings toward things, and the slightly inappropriate jokes combined with his sweet offhand remarks of “don’t die or I’m going to miss you” or random invitations out. Because the other day I asked him why he was throwing away something he just made, and he replied “it belongs in the garbage…like youuu” and we kept joking around after I whacked him and told him how mean that was, but my extremely sensitive meter had alarm bells going off. So I suspect that my interest is actually based on the idea that he’s into me, not his lack of attraction, because if I didn’t associate teasing with having a crush, I’d probably just find him annoying and mean-spirited (kind of reminds me of my friend’s boyfriend, who made the similar nasty comments but in a way that suggested he didn’t like me very much).

    In any case, I’m glad you reminded me about having to gauge his character, because I’ll probably be observing him a lot more carefully. The last guy I dated who would make these kind of small and humorous put-downs turned out to have a huge temper, and due to his incredibly caring and honest nature, I’m still not sure if I actually had shitty qualities for a friend or if he was overreacting.

    • Peter White

      Great to hear Crystal. Looking for a mans true character and how he acts from that, will tell you a lot about a possible future or relationship with them.

  • A woman

    Stop teaching men it is ok to be mean to women because they like them.

    Stop teaching men it is ok to sexually harrass women.

    Stop teaching boys it is ok to pull on a girl’s hair and pinch her when they like her. When a girl tells you that a boy is teasing her stop telling her “its because he likes you.” Stop being useless adults.

    Stop domestic violence. Because this what all this bullshit culminates to.

    Teach men to respect women’s boundaries. Teach men respect is love.

    Stop telling women to accepting abuse and disrespect from men. They are human beings not objects.

    • Peter White

      Stop assuming things about me and what I teach and read the article.

      You decided to leave your comment on a site dedicated to explaining men where you’ll find mostly women looking for answers about guys.

      If your intention is to get men to stop abusing women, I’m all for it. BUT you might want to actually get your message to the guys who are doing the abusing.

      I’m not at all easily offended but today, I just might be. Thanks for assuming I teach guys to sexually harass women. Thanks for assuming what I teach guys without actually doing the research. Thanks for assuming I believe women are objects. Thanks for calling me a useless adult.

      You know, I think YOU are the one who needs to learn how to respect others.

      Probably would not be your guy friend,


  • Sue

    I read this article you wrote and found it quite interesting. I know this Guy who seemed really nice we got chatting and exchanged numbers he was very flirty and asked did I have a bf I replied no he told me he had a gf and continued to flirt but now he’s being very cold towards me and I don’t know why

    • Peter White


      I would expect a guy who has a girlfriend to act this way. She is his hopefully his priority. He’ll flirt, get the Ego boost, open an opportunity, things might settle with her or he backs out realizing he’ll get caught or can not go through it – so he’ll start to act cold and distant with you.

  • Alice

    I don’t know how old this article is I just found it. OK there us this older guy
    ( late 30) I’m in my early twenties
    that is always teasing me , but he has never offended me in any way, one time he even give me a ride home, when his mom came to town to visit him and he was on a rush to see her. But here is the trick everytime I text him he would only text me back if I asked him something, he would not text back if I text “hey what you doing” I don’t know if he likes me of just being friendly

    • Peter White

      Alice, this article is older than your older guy. :p BUT it just keeps going… 😀

      Men are generally terrible texters. Some even only use their phone (with women) as a sexual device and not much more. I can’t help that.

      They are also notorious for not liking or bothering with small talk in person let alone on the phone.

      When you text “Hey, what you doing” you’re less likely to get a real response for all those reasons and for one more reason – because most guys hate to reveal to women that their life is kind of boring and routine.

      If he’s teasing you – then trust your intuition and whether you feel he is or could be feeling attracted to you. THEN teas him back through text and see how responds. That should tell you all you need to know about whether he’s being friendly or not. Which I highly doubt it’s just him being friendly.

      Also, look at the bigger picture. What else is he doing? Would what he’s teasing about or texting feel right from another straight woman? If not, then there’s your answer. So tease him back.

      Take it from a serial “likes younger women” man – attractive women in her early 20’s. If I’m teasing her – yeah, it might only be about sex at some point but who is to say it couldn’t turn into something more.

      Your old guy friend with the very old article, 🙂


  • Missy

    Hi Peter;
    I really enjoy your comments. Wanted to let you know that I was flirting with a guy and he backed off a yr ago. About 6 months ago he started to flirt again. Though I am interested, I am cautious cause he backed off. So I watch his actions. I’ve noticed when I do see him he’s very abrupt with me . So I ignore him now. I think he’s angry cause I don’t chase him or give him the attention.

    Thank you,

  • Maddie

    Hey, theres this boy I like . his name is Josiah and I don’t really know if he hates me or he likes me. the other day I told him ” shut up ” but its our way of joking I didn’t actually mean it in the annoyed way I said it was a happy way. he always tells me ” ur ugly ” “ur dumb ” or ” ur an idiot” and he calls me annoying. We sit almost next to each other because my desk is at the right theres an empty desk next to me another one and another one and then his. so whenever I walk his direction to do something he says “HEY! go the other direction” but he smiles. I don’t listen ( lol ) and then he says imam smack u and he did. it didn’t hurt at all but I really don’t know if hes actually annoyed or hes trying to hide the fact that he may have feelings for me.

  • Just turned 16

    When I was in year 7, I went to a mixed school and was in the very competitive a stream. There was a boy called Harvey who I sat next to in 3 subjects. He seemed nice and funny then he started to get mean.

    His little sister was really cute and she would always give me hugs and wave at me because I was her reading buddy, and then Harvey would tell me that she cried because she was scared of me and tons of other total nonsense. It was like he was jealous or something…

    He was constantly annoyed as I would get higher marks then him in all subjects (I was an all rounder scholar). He would strut around if he beat me in anything.

    In DT he would poke me at laugh at me for no reason and all the other kids were wondering what was wrong with him. He always asked me ‘what’s wrong with your face’ etc. He was only mean to me.

    And I was (and still am) TERRIFIED of the thought of someone having a crush on me so I just ignored him.

    Does it sound like Harvey had a crush on me or was he just severely jealous of my brains?

  • Alyissa Magana

    Their is this guy and he is usaully a jerk to everyone and I really like him but he called me fat and when I had a bf he said it was fake and he made a bet that I couldn’t get a boyfriend before Valentine’s Day for 10$ and the boyfriend who he said was fake went out with me for about5 days I don’t know why this guy is being mean to me

    • Peter White

      ALL people are generally mean because they have a need to build themselves up by putting others down. It’s a general statement and lots of their anger often come from many places from family life to esteem and jealousy issues and so on.

      Guys who are blatantly mean like this typically have serious issues. The best thing you can do is understand it’s a weakness by him. Whether it has something to do with you personally shouldn’t matter because until he learns to be more genuine, you must not allow him to get the better of you. Don’t be drawn into his ways yet do not seek revenge.


  • Jane

    Hey I’m 18 an and never dated. I’m doing my first year in Varsity and there’s this guy at first he approached me but I was not intereste, still not interested.

    but now he is kind of making my life difficult at school, he’s always looking for something to make me look bad, if not teasing me about never being bought a gift by a guy, he’s laughing at me of some random stupid thing I did. And talking to my friend behind my back laughing making jokes about me. He irritates me!


    • Peter White

      Honestly Jane,

      Because he’s a “butt hurt” ass who feels rejected and is taking out his anger on you to make him feel better AND he’s begging for attention.

      Avoid him at all costs. Anyone who willingly hurts or puts someone else down for their own personal gain or grudge or because they feel rejected does NOT deserve the attention they are seeking.


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