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Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Guys Seem Mean To Girls For No Reason? Why He Is Teasing You

in How Men Attract Women, Quick Guy Question and Answers, Why Do Guys Do
Guys enjoy teasing women when there’s a hint of flirting involved in it.

Hello Kadiatou,

There are actually many reasons why guys can be a little mean to girls.

Let’s assume we’re talking about younger guys so as they get older you might notice they can get a little nicer but it’s not always the case. A debatable percentage of men never grow up with regards to how they communicate or commit to women.

It’s called teasing.

“He’s out to stir your emotions not unlike the good “ribbing” he may give his friends. Except he’s doing it a little differently with you. At least I hope he is. 🙂 Mostly he’s looking to have some fun with you.”

Why Do Men Continue to Do Something When They Know it Bothers You.

Sometimes it’s the ONLY way they know how to flirt.

If it’s not obvious that the guy is being a rude prick then you can guess he is attracted to you.

Why it happens and where it begins is a little more complicated.

My “manly” gut tells me it’s about using the old stupid trick against what some might call a woman’s greatest weaknesses with men…

Wanting what they (think) they can’t have AND having a perceived low self-esteem.

Teasing her negatively (or being mean) might be his way of lowering your self-esteem below his and by doing so, also makes him seem more attractive and less attainable.

If you find a guy “hard to get” or believe he would never be attracted to you, it has a strange effect of driving up your attraction for him.

Another effect of being somewhat mean to women is definitely being taught to lots of guys in every attraction book written.

It triggers an emotional response which for bad, better, or worse, definitely triggers attraction of some sort.

If he can’t make you feel something “nice” for him, why not make you feel something bad for him…. right?

Encouraging your anger, confusion, or self-doubt will tend to bring you closer to feeling attracted to him than a guy just being way too nice and kissing your ass all the time.

Lastly, if there ever was a lastly when we’re talking about us guys, it’s a very strange and weird way of a dude displaying indifferent confidence.

“When there’s no real challenge to prove we are, attraction fails. Why you like those who don’t want you and not like the guys who do want you.”

Why The Guys You Like Don’t Want You But You Don’t Want The Ones Who Do.

What guy who doesn’t have the balls would dare tease a woman or be slightly mean or rude to her, right?

So, in a way he’s displaying indifference because he showing you he doesn’t care how you see him or what you think of him.

He’s displaying confidence by not being afraid to say or do what’s on his mind.

All too nice guys struggle with this and it’s a big reason why they don’t attract lots of women.

They’re niceness is not trusted or believed or seems real when they’re so deathly afraid of saying what’s on their mind… around a woman that is. At home or with their buddies, the truth ALWAYS comes out.

Guys are mostly ONLY mean to girls they’re attracted to whether or not they care to admit their feelings.

Let’s not rule out the pricks who just get off on making others feel like shit by boosting their own ego, so it’s not always attraction.

However, generally speaking, a crush is usually involved.

Sometimes you’ll have to decide whether or not the guy has a severe character flaw or is just teasing you by being mean.

The easiest way to tell is, if he’s “trying” to laugh with you then he is “teasing” you!

Over all, in case you’re wondering…

YES! Some guys DO enjoy teasing a woman while being a little rude to her IF there’s a raised level of flirting because of it.

Flirting is a mostly human connection on a level which transcends society, age, and circumstance. Why Do Men (and women) Flirt? Does it Have Anything To Do With Love?

Peter White. Revealing the secret world of men because we’re not all that obvious. 😉 Stay in touchnewsletter, Why Do Guys Facebook – Twitter @peterwhite125Thank you for everything.

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55 comments… add one
  • Sanne

    Intresting article! I have a question… I am a 17-year-old girl, I’ve always been one of the guys. Still, I dress and look femenine. I have some friends at school I’m always with, and they all tease me a lot. But there is this one guy in paticular, who is the meanest of all. He says I stink and that I am ugly. He always ask me why I still chill with them and why I don’t just leave. Yeah, very rude indeed. But on the other hand, we’ve been friends for a couple of yrs now, and he laughes at all my jokes. When we’re in class, he sometimes stares at me. So what does that mean? I must admit that I feel atracted to him beacause of his behaviour. I am confused.

    In my neighbourhoud, I have some friends too. I game and play soccer with them. They too like to tease me. But here also, is one guy who always crosses the line. He is just as mean as the guy at school. I also have a weak spot for him, I just don’t understand. He is rude, but sometimes, when I look into his eyes, I just melt. I feel like he can look trough me.
    So… Do they act cool to make themselves feel better? Or do they want to protect themselves from falling in love? Or is there another explanation? Please tell me… Because I can’t.

  • Sammy

    I’m a young teacher and I look really young,some people mistake me for a highschooler.
    Today one of my students told me that she was having a practice and the guys who are juniors highs said-about me- that I am a bitch but also gorgeous.
    I dont know which students said that(dont know how many) Im pretty sure I dont even teach them… Also never have I thought someone could call me like that. Why would such young guys call somebody like this… I know i should not care but I somehow felt hurt.

    • Peter White

      Okay Miss Sammy and nope I won’t be raising my hand to talk to you. Not my style. I will say the nerdy/teacher runs deep in many of boys and men’s imagination so be careful. :p

      Now since you can’t be positive about who started the rumor it’s very likely a jealous girl started the rumor and the guys just ran with it.

      Remember though, you’re in a position of power and have to exhibit some sort of control over your students which means some are going to only see you as a bitch. No different than the demanding parent whose child is tired of being told what to do, right?

      Try not to take it personal because it doesn’t mean you’re a bitch. It’s just their way of rebelling against authority which is an integral part of growing up.

      Your looks (being gorgeous) can have a small impact here because for young guys, well even older ones too, they say beauty as unattainable and will often accuse even the nicest women in the world as being a prude, bitch, stuck up, or whatever just because they believe they can never be with someone like that. They don’t feel good enough and will lessen the rejection by belittling the person they feel rejected by.

      I’m sure as you age and your experience being a teacher will help you cope with this never ending problem.

      Class dismissed. 😀


  • Jules

    I know that this is a very late comment but there is this male at my job that used to be so nice and approchable to me in the past now its totally different he is very rude, he frowns at me, he snickers at me as I pass by and I’m totally confused I’m wondering what did I do? I’m not a very outgoing and talkative person but it’s still no reason for him to be so nasty. What do you think is his problem? Or am I really the problem?

    • Peter White

      I’m not sure exactly what happened Jules but here’s some of my thoughts.

      Highly doubtful it’s you.

      If by some rare chance he felt rejected, an immature guy might pull back and act this way to save face or make himself feel better, or to look better in other co-workers eyes.

      Although it sounds like, if there are other workers around, that something was said, rumors, shit like that, which he either believed or was said by a jealous co-worker which is causing him to act this way.

      I’m willing to bet it was one of those things based on what I read.


  • Kathy

    I was seeing this guy. His brother causes a problem because he’s jealous. This guy and I have GREAT sex and then he makes rude comments like why are you taking so long to answer you have a big c..K in your mouth ECT… I wish I could just walk away.

  • Clare

    I don’t agree with this to be honest.

    Guys don’t tease girls because they like her – guys like to joke around and have fun.

    I have a guy friend who likes to wind me up and annoy me. It doesn’t mean he wants to have a relationship with me. He simply likes to Annoy me.

    I don’t believe that the right guy will tease you if he likes you. Yes there’s flirtation but then there’s just annoying. And there’s a difference.
    There’s playfulness but then there’s just being annoying.

    • Peter White

      Honesty is always good Clare.

      I wouldn’t suggest a guy wants a relationship with a woman because he likes to “wind her up”. Just that when we do it, we tend to do it MORE to women we’re attracted to.

      Of course there is the friendship angle such as IF a guy treats you like he would his guy friends then it’s certainly a possibility there’s nothing sexual going on. But I think it’s more rare than the other case.

      We must also remember how many guys don’t know the difference between flirting or “busting your balls” about something. So in your mind you’re correct but since lots of guys never really understand how it’s “supposed” to work, their form of flirting is borderline annoying is just being mean. In their mind, they are flirting, right?

      Love the honesty. Thank you,


  • Josephine Gyau

    This guy was so nice to me and whenever he sees me he will smile. I use to go to his job at rite. Then I started to really really like him and will go tohud job everyday and wait for him. He changed to being distance to me and not smiling anymore like I did something to him. Then I tried to give him a card as a gift and he refused it and yelled at me when I tried to give it to him again. And then he YELLED at me. He acts like I did something bad but I don’t know what I’ve done.

  • Mona

    Hi! Very interesting article! Recently something weird happens and I cannot figure it out .At all! Maybe you could help me to ‘decode’ one person?
    So, here the situation. I’m 35, single. My hobby is gardening. There’s one garden shop next to my home when I buy stuff I need. There are two staff members: a lady and a guy. The guy is about 4o-45 y.o. (no wedding ring noticed).
    Each time I need to buy something I get nervous to talk to him because he is a living roller-coaster: he stares in my eyes to the point I blush (which makes me feel horribly shy) and smiling, he acts indifferently cold, he is very helpful, he is sarcastic, when I say that I need X. he criticizes my choice and tells me I should use Y,typical unsolicited advice with patronizing tone (I know what I need to buy!!!aaarrrrgghh!It drives me crazy!), sometimes he hides, sometimes he seem to talk normally and suddenly cuts the talk and start to talk with someone else, and when I say things like: “I have a good luck with growing xyz this year, I guess I know more about growing it!” he looks at me like he’d like to say :”No big deal” or he says he hates growing xyz.
    What’s even worse, I subconsciously “mirror” his stupid behaviour and when he starts to criticize me, I become sarcastic to him (which is highly not my style of communication!).
    And the worst part of it is, that the other staff- the lady is a witness of this madness. I always wonder if she thinks I am a weirdo.
    I don’t want to go shopping anywhere else, because it would be too far away from my home.
    Could someone tell me what to do?! Why this guy do such things?

    Thanks in advance!!!

  • Christie


    Gosh, I can’t explain how happy I am at finding this page randomly. So I’ve really just got to ask, well, more of need advice. There’s this guy, I sort of like. The problem is, he’s just undeniably so damn mean and annoying I mean, most of the time it’s sort of a good natured kind of mean, that I can honestly handle. Where he just teases me at how I complain, or how I’m not good at card games. I totally am, erm, a little. He just refuses to acknowledge when I win, and pretends that nothing even happened when he loses. Other times, well that’s where I just don’t understand.

    See the thing is, in my country, I’m in one of the top universities. You’d have to be the cream of the crop to get in. The thing that irks me the most, is how he’d continuously challenge my knowledge. Like, uh, hey I passed this university too, but I get it. I don’t know everything, can you not? I didn’t want to overreact or anything so I asked my other friends if he did that to them as well. Lo and behold, he did to some but they all responded with “just not as much as you do.” So like, in comparison, he’s just extra mean to me, and I don’t even interact with him everyday!

    In my perspective, there are times where we don’t even acknowledge each other’s presence when we really could. So anyway, the most perplexing thing I find is that on the rare times I’ve been alone with him for a fairly long period of time which is 3 in 2 months. He’s oddly a bit nicer I suppose. He’d tease, but I feel like it’s less intense compared to when I’m around him, and our similar group of friends. Honestly it’s those few times are why I still like him in the first place. Sometimes I just really want to ask him, why he can’t just take a chill pill, and please bother me less.

    Ah, I believe I should mention, that I once told him I thought he was cute and ignored him because it was too embarrassing to face that I did. Tho, that’s all in the past and we’re somewhat friends now, if you could call it that.

  • Confusedgirl

    I’m 13 year old girl and my best friend (male friend) is mean to me all of the time. He calls me weird and bad(why call me bad?) And ugly, but I always find him staring at me in class. And he just tells me everything. And I think I may like him back. I’m confused at y he acts this way and would like to no wat to do.

  • Hailee

    Good day to you Mr.White,
    Oh am I a lucky girl -oh very lucky- to land on your magical website just a few days ago. Your an amazing mixed signal solver. Make that Mr. Possible from these impossible mixed signals that are quite complicated to get from or at least understand at some point. I wonder how the hell you do it. But whatever it is, its magic. You keep doing your thing. My story is kind of long -and when I mean kind of, its a story with a begging, middle, and end-, and weird with a tad bit confused twists (the mixed signals). Oh isn’t it fun when life throws plot twists at us? (Note the sarcasm) Anyways, I want to share it personally on email if you don’t mind. Is there some way, thought?

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