I‘ve chased many women in my life and it got me nowhere… It always seemed like when they figured out I was into them – or that they were being chased – or figured out how easy it would be to get or have me, that’s when they’d lose any interest (or attraction) in me.
Before the “chasing” began the phone calls were eagerly answered. The text messages sent had a quick and eager reply. Even got the classic late night drunk calls hearing the words when asked why,
“Because I wanted to hear your voice.”
And let me tell you lots of guys everywhere have experienced the same effect.
The more they show a woman they’re into her, the less she seems interested in them back.
It’s a lesson lots of guys learn early in life and may not work the same in adulthood or for the more mature woman – but that’s not for the reasons you might believe to be true.
Guys pay attention to WHO gets the girl and it’s always the few guys who don’t seem to want it or her. To them – they’re like, “Yeah… Whatever.”
They even notice how they all seem to gather around the few guys EVERY other girl wants and if he’s taken, will impatiently wait until he’s single again hoping he’ll “choose” her next.
Regardless of which guy it is… the ones you want or the ones you don’t want…
The younger guys learn it’s probably in his best interest to at least try to PLAY hard to get.
Some mature into men and develop themselves into a real guy and throw away the game-playing and allow themselves to BECOME hard to get.
That’s a key difference in men and it’s a difference you must take into account IF you’re to understand men.
Some play hard to get.
Some ARE hard to get.
You don’t normally want the guy who is playing hard to get but at least, if you’re feeling it a little for him, then you know it’s a good sign he’s interested in you, otherwise he wouldn’t be using, “The oldest trick in the book” Would he?
The guy who IS hard to get – the one you’re “just maybe” not at all convinced he’s into you because his interest is so confusing and often misleading, you’re not sure if he’s “playing” that game or if he really is that way.
You tell yourself he likes you but you can’t understand if it’s a game he’s playing, and if it is WHY is he bothering when he likes you and he knows you like him too…
Still, since you’re not fully convinced as to HOW he is feeling…. your questions still feel unanswered. You’re left wondering why?
Here’s a concept you’ve probably never heard before.
It’s a very bold yet confusing statement but stay with me – because it will blow your mind.
The MALE SLUT technique works on OTHER women.
He acts like a male slut with other women. It seems like he sleeps with every or any woman who is willing to give it up so easily but for you… for you he PLAYS hard to get?
Kind of pisses you off, doesn’t it? That is IF you really like the guy and you’re convinced he likes you too.
Of course this is based on presumption that he is in fact sleeping with them.
Some guys will all too happily let you believe he’s hooking up when most of the time… it’s far from what it really happening.
Again – if it’s not a game – if you’re truly convinced he’s into you, if you know he’s into you too then leaves you with one REAL answer…
He just IS hard to get.
He lets you believe he’s sleeping around or giving more to the “other” women but that’s just his odd sense of what I call “smart charm”.
Flirt with lots of women publicly and others will actually believe you’re sleeping with some of them or for the lesser thinking one – ALL of them.
You want to appear like a ladies man – ACT like one.
ANY guy can do it and make you believe something is not true by just not talking about it either.
If he tells you he’s not seeing someone else – you might not believe it BUT if he sees other women, talks with them, flirts with them, acts “differently” around them – the you’re more likely to come to the conclusion that he IS sleeping with them OR…
Worse yet – giving THEM what they want and PLAYING hard to get with you.
Granted without the charm, skill, wit or ability to not reveal certain facts they will come off as foolish try-hards willing to land any woman who’d open up her legs to them.
So it IS a learned communication skill and without it you’d probably just guess he’s either a bad player who is all too obvious, or a good player whose confidence comes from his pants or how many women he can sleep with in his life.
Okay – let’s get go back to the beginning…
Why Do Guys Play Hard to Get When You Know They Like You?
Some guys play hard to get, some ARE hard to get.
Some guys do it by accident and are not as in tune with the dating process as you might be.
Some guys will try it a little but are not trying to play you – they’re just trying not to scare you away.
The male experience teaches them early on that showing too much interest, too quickly, whether you like him or not – normally leads to a loss of attraction.
Guys either understand or see that women don’t go for the EASY guys. They want a real challenge.
Just because you like him at some point in time doesn’t guarantee you’ll still be interested when you’re fully convinced he feels the same way.
He has seen or been through it before – as soon as she knows he’s into her – she pulls back and if he chases – she loses the interest and/or attraction.
Call it a game or mating ritual, it’s how things work in dating and since it’s worked so far – we’re still here on this planet despite our destructive ways – it will continue on.
This type of ritual is NOT just reserved for guys.
The pattern is the same.
- You step back and he comes – YOU step back further.
- He steps back and you follow – HE steps back further.
Leading to the standardized dating advice:
- When she takes a step back – HE must take TWO steps back.
- When he takes a step back – SHE must take TWO steps back.
Right or wrong – it’s HOW things work.
Men AND women want and need a real challenge. No challenge generally equals little or no interest or attraction.
Here comes the real difficult questions to answer…
WHEN does it all stop?
HOW are men and women supposed to get together if they’re all stepping back or playing hard to get?
When is enough, enough?
Not today. That and more answers like that will have to wait until another time.
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Thanks for stopping by today. I do hope you found the answer you were looking for about all this playing hard to get stuff.