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Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Some Men Like You One Time, Then Pretend They Barely Know You?

What does it mean when a guy is playing hard to get or is ignoring you right after you meet.

Why is it when a guy is into you, shows every sign he likes you, but the next time he sees you, it's like you don't even exist?

He acts a little distant. Barely listens to a word you say.

You want to ask him what's wrong but it's not like you're dating or anything.

You're not in a relationship.

You're still getting to know each other...

But for some reason he's making you feel you did something wrong and this passive aggressive attitude he's displaying is making you wonder why you're even bothering with him at all.

I was totally into this "chic" once. She was the type who lots of guys chase. You could take one look at her and instantly assume she could have any guy she wanted.

If you don't know about how much attraction controls men I can tell you it's not too easy to shrug it off. It makes you do things you wouldn't normally do.

It makes you almost want to give everything you got - in the hopes her attraction would be returned.

The way I see it - as a man who's studied this stuff - us guys actually "suffer" from attraction because if we follow it and listen to it, it only seems to do just the opposite to the woman we're madly falling for.

It's like when we go blindly into in it causes us to push any highly sought out woman away.

Well let me tell you this girl had me hooked. Literally every curve on her body mesmerized me. Her face was flawless and her eyes, the way they lit up when she saw me... got me scared.

I was terrified that I was going to screw it up.

So here's this guy - not the greatest "ladies man" in the world at the time, hasn't had much success with very attractive women, and feeling it like there's no tomorrow.

Feeling the peak of attraction I gave it all despite all my fears.

Tried to make her laugh.

Tried to find a connection with her.

Tried to be "all that a man could be" because I was "suffering" from a lowered self-esteem just being around her.

Just so you know, it felt like it worked. She was returning the flirts and playing right back with me. The chemistry was increasing and so was the sexual tension.

Despite the fact as our interaction continued so did my self-confidence because she was just that cool to be around.

Now you would think I would've been smart enough to run with it. To "do my thing" and keep it up. You would think, because it only makes sense, I'd be all her into her when we met again.

But it wasn't like that at all.

There was more people around.

More guys there to flirt with her.

Suddenly every available "stud" was taking over where I had left off and I just knew it was a losing battle.

Here I am, now watching other guys be all into her and I got a glimpse into the future.

We'd talk a little. Get to know each other better. A few weeks or maybe a month would pass and we would grow closer.

And I've been through that before. What happened was more predictable than the sunrise.

While I was "doing all the work" she was dating some other guy and kissing him on the first date. Since I was "being nice" and spent way too much time waiting for the moment to happen, and didn't know how to make it happen naturally...

I was waiting for HER to make a move on me.

To men - that's the ultimate sign a girl is into them... when she makes a move on him.

Remember that because "making a move" to some men is a lot more than just going for a kiss.

You see this seemingly innocent "passive aggressive" method is just another way to get YOU to prove how much you like us.

If we ignore you and you seek us out - our confidence goes up and we believe you're feeling it just as much as we are.

If we keep away and act aloof or distant it's a test.

We definitely want to feel in control of our attraction and if we can stay away long enough, it gives us time to think about how to handle it and stop our attraction from pushing you away.

After all EVERY guy understands (even though he acts differently) that every woman he chases just seems to run away quicker.

We're testing our restraint but more than that we're testing YOU because some guys, like I was, need to feel like you're into us just as much as the guy you kissed so much quicker than us.

When we predict our future with you and we only see what some other woman did to us, our anger turns passive and we want to make sure THIS TIME it's going to be different.

This time I won't chase her because she's too hot.

This time I won't be the guy who kisses her ass "hoping" she'll like us back.

This time I will do anything and everything I know to make sure I make her prove how much she likes me.

Even if it means ignoring you and acting like I couldn't care less about her.

Thus satisfying the fragile "Ego" and it's thirst for validation.

Okay, so you met a guy who seemed into you and you even "liked" him back.

And the next time you're together it feel like you don't exist anymore.

Don't let him fool you - he just wants to know you're going to meet him half way.

Or maybe the whole way for some guys.

He is probably worried too much spent watching for your signals or he just doesn't understand how all this attraction thing really works.

Is he playing you on purpose?

Some are. I won't lie.

Here's how you can tell if he really is a player or not or is playing you:

"A REAL player is a guy who manipulates a woman’s feelings or emotions with the purpose of using those feelings to get what he wants from her. Typically, after he gets what he wants he disappears with little or no contact… ever again."

Defining A Player, The Games He Uses, & Why Most Men Are Not Players

Did you do something to push him away?

Well obviously there's a chance that DID happen.

Is there a chance he doesn't even notice it's happening?

Of course.

Some guys just don't pay attention to this kind of stuff as much as others.

Yet, generally speaking, you can consider it giving you space.

He's trying to show you he's not needy.

He doesn't want to screw it up.

He wants YOU to prove to him you're not going to treat him like a "dear friend" three weeks down the road.

Men are not always obvious when their attraction for you is driving them crazy.

If a guy likes you one minute and is ignoring you the next - all things considered it could just  means he "really really really" likes you!

Thanks for stopping by today. I do hope you found the answer you were searching for and you're closer or there in understanding why a guy might be into you one minute - or like you - and then the next time act like you don't even exist.

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About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
381 comments… add one
  • Vidhi

    Hey Peter,
    There is this guy I like in college. We both are kind of friends.. And sometimes he gives me signs that he likes me. Few days ago he asked to hangout with his friends and I agreed. We went to the club and there he asked me to dance with him ( there were 4 more girls than me.. But he only asked me)

    , he asked me frequently if I was enjoying and having a good time… But the next day at college he would ignore me like doesn’t even know me… What do I do?

    • Hey Vidhi,

      Do absolutely nothing.

      He either decided he’s not interested in you after that night, was looking for more and didn’t get it, used you to entice or tease or make another woman jealous, or is playing some kind of game.

      I’ve found college guys act a little different than a fully mature man so blow him off.

      Be done with him.

      If you begin to find men are doing this consistently to you THEN and ONLY THEN can you look towards yourself so see what’s going on BUT until it’s a definite pattern in your life… it’s HIM.

      So don’t even bother wasting your time.

      It’s one thing to act a little distant or play it off as just a night on the town – but to completely ignore you is something entirely different and it doesn’t deserve any respect or action on your part beyond looking elsewhere and forgetting about him.

      All the best,
      Pete

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