There seems to be some confusion between two types of guys women are attracted towards... The JERK and the BAD BOY.
In my eyes there's a distinct difference between them and once we try to agree to that difference we can then explain both attractions.
- A bad boy is often self-destructive. A risk taker. Sometimes it's self-esteem issue. Sometimes it's not. It's clear to me that if we're to call any a guy a "bad boy" we shouldn't be swayed by how he feels about himself.
- A jerk is outwardly destructive. He tends to either (emotionally or physically) degrade another and it is often a selfish act to build himself up to feel better about himself or to sabotage himself because inside, he doesn't feel deserving or capable of receiving something more.
Yes I know, so scientific isn't it? 🙂
However, separating the two types by those precise definitions makes it rather easy to understand why women are attracted to one or the other or both of those types.
When I asked 85 different women why they are attracted to jerks I did not make those definitions clear. I also did not require them to give only one answer. They were free to give as many reasons as they thought possible.
Remember: I chose the answer for them to select. Women were NOT allowed to added their own reason. If you have something to add, comment me below.
The results are below:
Why Are Women Attracted To Jerks – Survey Results
48 chose - “Their bad boy attitude.”
38 chose - “They don’t care what others think of them."
37 chose - “They live exciting adventurous lives."
38 chose - “Their mysterious was intriguing."
34 chose - “Emotional roller coaster that kept things interesting."
33 chose - “Change or Tame the bad boy."
33 chose - “He offered the greatest protection."
17 chose - "Family and Friends did not approve of him."
17 chose - “She wanted to make him like or love her."
16 chose - “I am not at all attracted to jerks."
13 chose - “Father figure issues."
10 chose - “She has her own reasons which were not listed here."
(on the average women selected 3.92 reasons)
I'm going go through each one
"Their bad boy attitude."
This one clearly needs to be explored deeper. We need to agree on what attitude a bad boy displays but since some women can mistake a bad boy attitude coming from a jerk, this one can go either way.
“They don’t care what others think of them."
Again, outwardly speaking, a jerk might not care just as much as a bad boy BUT if we're going to explain why women can be attracted to a jerk, this is a very good answer.
“They live exciting adventurous lives."
Classic answer and once again, a jerk can live an exciting life just as easy as a bad boy BUT I feel to be a real bad boy, you MUST live this way. Just because you're a jerk does not guarantee your life is at all exciting.
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“Their mysterious was intriguing."
Sure. Both "man" types can be mysterious and since neither implies how or why the mystery is created, it's safe to assume a woman can find a jerk to be mysterious. A woman might perceive his mysterious ways as being a bad until later, when she realizes he's just a jerk. Therefore she isn't attracted to a jerk for this reason at all. She just misread the type of guy she was dealing with.
“Emotional roller coaster that kept things interesting."
Aside from the drama filled roller coaster of negativity created by the jerk, once again, it's easy to see how a woman might confuse a jerk for being a bad boy because of the heightened emotions. So... unless she has a self-destructive/co-dependent core or feels drama is necessary in her life, the average mostly healthy woman is not attracted to a jerk because of the roller coaster ride. Once again, she believed or saw something which she later realized was wrong.
“Change or Tame the bad boy."
Absolutely. The need to change, tame, or get a guy to ultimately prove his love for a woman by changing because of her, is all too prevalent in women. Generally speaking of course. With that said, I can see how a woman might find herself attracted to a jerk for this reason.
“He offered the greatest protection."
Emotionally or physical protection has definitely proven to play its role in women being attracted to a guy. Since a jerk or bad boy might be more willing to risk himself for the "love of his life", I believe this is a valid reason that some women might choose a jerk over a nice guy. It's a little hazy with regards to the emotional part but let's not get that deep today. Save it for the comments below. 😉
"Family and Friends did not approve of him."
This might be a younger woman "thing" but I won't assume that entirely. There's also no way to separate the jerk from the bad boy here because it's easy to see why a family or friend might not approve of either one. Which means this is a valid reason why a woman might find herself attracted to a jerk.
“She wanted to make him like or love her."
This is a great reason because it deals with challenging a woman. Although the challenge isn't clearly defined it doesn't seem to matter much. A jerk might appear to not like or love anyone proving to a woman that IF he loves her AND he's a jerk, it must be real. I'm not saying it's a healthy love and a relationship should be entered with a love like this, but just that's it's a possibility.
“I am not at all attracted to jerks."
Hahaha!! Good for the women who checked this box. No more to say except one thing... and yes once again I agree there was no definition given of the two types of guys, out of 85 women ONLY 17 of them selected this one.
“Father figure issues."
A woman's attraction "issues" which may lead her to bad relationships or failing commitments and such which are based on father figure issues doesn't seem to be confined one way or another. Therefore it's completely valid to say a certain woman is attracted to a jerk because she has father issues.
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“She has her own reasons which were not listed here."
Only 10 women chose this selection which probably only says a lot about what I know with regards to why women are attracted to anyone, let alone the jerks and the bad boys. 😀 Thank you.
Let's now take the time to discuss anything and everything which was brought up today.