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The Top Ten Things That Guys Are Attracted To and Why

Man attracted To Woman Sunset List

Everyone has a top ten list these days and although they're not my favorite thing to do - I thought I'd give it a try and see how it goes... Based on my life experience in being a guy, my years of research, and a thought process which can be slightly unique:

These Are The Top Things Guys Are Attracted To In A Woman that you'll find consistent among the majority of men.

Some are physical based on body type and appearance. Others are personality based or how you interact with men.

Something to consider before we get into the list:

  • You don't need to have them all to attract a guy. A few will suffice.
  • You can have them all and still not attract the guy you want.
  • Most of them can be achieved if you don't have it and want it to use it to find a better man for you.
  • They are not in any order of importance.

The quick list to you can read quickly:

  • How you move your body - body language movement.
  • The overall tone of your voice and how it sounds when you talk to guys.
  • Being slightly reserved or having a somewhat shy personality.
  • Having a laid back attitude - cool, calm, collected and easy to get along with.
  • Showing a few quirky or slightly strange habits that are not extreme.
  • An amazing and inviting smile which connects to possessing a great sense of humor.
  • Dynamic and sensual eyes a man loves to stare deeply into.
  • Lots of soft feminine shapes and curves to your body - in the right places.
  • Competent confidence - strong self worth and belief in yourself with a healthy amount of self-esteem.
  • An alluring scent which makes a guy remember you more and want to get close to you.

Let's begin...

1. How you move your body - body language movement.

This one tends be a little overdone so you have to be careful about it. Too sexy of a walk will actually turn lots of guys off. Too much rigidness, masculine movements, or being overly athletic also can turn guys off or not attract them as easily.

Your walk or how you move should make a clear attractive statement no matter what you're doing, where you're going, or what kind of mood you're in that day.

You want him to fantasize about you then your walk and how you move will assure he does think about you more.

Your body language should also be open because it makes men feel at ease around you. When you're open (not your legs obviously) it's inviting and comforting to others and it will help to build his attraction towards you.

Much of what you communicate to others is either reinforced or even started with your body language and if you want to attract a guy - how you move and the statements your body is saying is a great start because...

In MOST circumstances he's going to SEE you before he talks to you.

Once the meeting part is done and you're speaking to each other - you enter the second part of creating attraction with your body.

Men and women unconsciously react to another person’s body language which creates a circle of follow the leader and sometime just to BE the leader.

If you display weak tentative and closed body language it makes it difficult for another to get what you're saying AND if it's closed in too many way - it will actually make the guy feel like you're not listening to him or even care to... something you do NOT want to do with a guy you yourself is feeling attracted to.

They will follow that lead and close themselves off to you.

If you’re fidgeting too much and acting nervous not only does the other person feel like you’re not interested in them – it makes it look like you’re hiding something or not being honest with them.

BODY LANGUAGE is a very important TOOL OF COMMUNICATION therefore a skill-set mastered by the most influential and attractive people in the world.

Therefore you can use your body (language) to ENHANCE your already now wonderful effective ways of communication AND increase your powers of persuasion.

Sure – some of you might be thinking – like what – you want me to wiggle my ass when I walk or flick my hair when I like a guy or lick my lips so he thinks about kissing me?

Well maybe for some parts yes – you must admit when you do the right things and it causes a guy to follow or do what you want him to do (to you or with you) then why shouldn’t you?

BUT for all extensive purposes of communication let’s not go there… today.

I’m merely advocating OPEN body language which relaxes people and makes them feel at ease and comfortable being around is a great way to start the attraction rolling AND a great way to get others to open up to you easier.

Something I’m sure women DO want from a guy they’re interested in dating.

Here are some great body language tips to help you out so you'll move and appear more attractive AND sexy to lots of guys:

  • A calm quiet mind WILL come out in your body language. Mediate. Breathe. Practice relaxation techniques.
  • Clear your mind and your body will follow.
  • A person who exercises with purpose, intent, and the right way will tend to have a more confident stronger influential body language.
  • Clear your body and your mind will follow.
  • Be extremely comfortable and relaxed in your own skin.
  • Walk slowly with purpose like you ALWAYS have somewhere to go.
  • Project yourself with strength and confidence OR Soft on the outside and strong on the inside.
  • Learn to breathe from your diaphragm.
  • Focus on a slow methodically breath in and out when you want to relax. Your breath should generally be longer on the way out and shorter on the way in.
  • Start paying attention to your body language just enough to catch yourself doing strange things which may be perceived as less than the high-value person you are.
  • Pay close attention to other women’s body language when you feel they have IT and soak it in because it will rub off on you. You WILL start moving like them. It’s an inherent human instinctual trait.
  • Open your body up more (except the legs of course, that’s just not right).
  • Avoid crossing your arms or looking closed off like you aren’t LISTENING because if you are into that person sitting across from you – make sure they see it.
  • Blink a little slower at times. Make them wait for it once in a while. Just don’t overdo it because honestly, it will creep them out. Keep it as natural as possible.
  • Be aware of your surroundings and look around casually as if wherever you are – you BELONG there.
  • Eliminate any nervous ticks or jittery motions you have the best you can.

2. The overall tone of your voice and how it sounds when you talk to guys.

Men are very easily stimulated by a woman's voice. It's my belief that you can trigger his attraction by the sound of your voice alone.

With that said, it's clear having a "sexy" voice or learning how to use that voice more effectively is why it made it to my list.

When a guy hears your voice - without sight, he immediately begins to develop a mental imagine in his head and relates it to you. Obviously if it's not pleasing or a pleasant experience for him, your physical appearance will reflect it.

On the other end if it's soft, sensual, very feminine, soothing, and exciting the image he builds in his head reflects by picturing a very attractive you.

In today's world (just hearing your voice) probably isn't going to happen as much as it used to BUT when you add your attractive voice to your many other attractive qualities you gain an edge and can use it to increase how he feels about you.

There are several parts of your voice which are important here:

  • The tone or camber.
  • The pitch or frequency.
  • The speed or how slowly you talk to him.
  • The annunciation or how well your words are projected.
  • The words you use and when use them phrasing.

They all work together and typically can not be separated for the full effect.

The attractiveness may be obvious but I'll touch upon them anyways.

Sightly high with a rounded tone so it comes out soft and pleasant.

Spoken slowly but deliberately in a natural way.

Certain syllables should be accented so every word is clearly heard but not too much to make it sound choppy and forced.

The words may be circumstantial but obviously - if your goal is to turn him on - there are many ways to do that and you'll find them all in a fun sexy product called:

Language Of Desire - Dirty Words That Make Him Yours!

(For more information click on the link or check the credits below.)

3. Being slightly reserved or having a somewhat shy personality.

I'm not sure if it's because she's a challenge or because guys are not as easily intimidated by a shy girl. That probably depends on the type of guy.

You can even argue that some men assume if she's shy there's a chance she has not had too many different sexual partners. Lots of men at least like to believe the woman they're interested in sleeping with is pure.

I have read that shy guys are attracted to outgoing women and outgoing guys are attracted to shy girls... but I don't believe it.

What guy who is always socializing wants to date a woman who only wants to hang out at home.

And what woman who goes out all the time wants to settle for a guy who like to stay home most of the time. I'm sure there are exceptions but...

You have to admit given a choice between the shy librarian or the loud chic in the corner most "real" men who are not just looking for a roll in the hay will find the shy girl far more attractive.

Just don't take this too far - if a guy always feels like he's doing all the talking or has to work too hard in this area, he might quickly grown exhausted AND he won't ever be able to tell if you actually like him or not.

None of that takes away from the attractive edge a shy woman or one with a slightly reserved personality over the too-loud or in your face type.

If you don't feel like your shy personality is attracting guys or the right type of guys then you're either:

  • Not making it clear you are interested in them - the right way.
  • Not communicating to them in a way which makes them feel like they're connecting to you.
  • The reality is - you're probably not getting out enough or interacting with enough men BECAUSE you're shy and perhaps a little introverted.

The solution is then to skillfully let them know you're interested in letting them pursue and attract you. Which is different than just telling them. You won't to SHOW them first and let them come to you after.

Something you can read about in my post: Don't Tell Him You Like Him, Show Him Instead & This is How To Do It!

If you're truly shy that doesn't need to change too much BUT you still need to communicate or learn the skill of communicating to guys in an attractive way - otherwise most guys just won't get it.

Think about the reasons why you're shy and figure out if it's coming from insecurity or fear or an overwhelming burden of too many self-conscious thoughts

When you know that - you're going to need a little help to push you along.

So... rather than fix that part of you - work on both at once by learning this amazing concept called Circular Dating which was developed by Rori Raye and is titled Targeting Mister Right.

It's free therapy (when you buy the program of course) to build your self-esteem and confidence around men which will certainly help to get you out more meeting men while at the same time learning to communicate and connect with them.

Here's the link for more info: Targeting Mr. RIght - Learn How To Effortlessly Find A Fulfilling, Lasting Relationship.

4. Having a laid back attitude - cool, calm, collected and easy to get along with.

Top on any man's list because high maintenance is not attractive.

Men don't like to curtail their opinions or worry about offending someone or feel forced to "tone it down"  just because she might not get a joke or take one too seriously.

The "Cool girl" takes life as it comes and she's not overly emotional about the little things.

Every guy loves a woman who is in the present and is a generally accepting person of the world around them.

I believe this whole "cool" thing might come down to one thing - Every guy wants a woman who is easy to get along with --> What Guy Doesn’t Want A Really Cool Girlfriend?

Living in the present is one of the most attractive skills ANY can learn - yes, even men too.

Rather than get into all the details - IF you need help in this area, check out and read these posts thoroughly.

They're not written by me but you'll find them very useful to help you understand what being in the present means and how you can do it so you'll have this number 4 laid back attitude down and you'll quickly see how easily it attracts lots of men.

5. Showing a few quirky or slightly strange habits that are not extreme.

I'm not sure why I don't see more of this out there but it's the truth - men become extremely attracted to women who have a few quirky or off the beaten path habits to which she owns.

I wouldn't flaunt them but don't be afraid of a guy "accidentally" finding out you have a few.

Just be careful about having too many because you don't want to come off as weird or strange but even then - most guys won't mind at all. At least the nice good ones.

These habits are attractive because it allows a man to see your uniqueness.

It also makes men feel more comfortable over opening up to you.

Think of the opposite - what guy finds it easy to get close to OR feels like he can get a perfect woman in every way. Men do NOT want the perfect woman - it's make them feel inferior, weak, and like they can not be themselves around her.

The article I posted at Meet & Attract Him puts in a great perspective: If Men Are Not Looking For The Prefect Woman – Then What DO They Want?

It's based on the Hero Concept. This is where guys want to be your hero, your knight in shining armor, and how they want to live out their hero story and since most of them can not do it in their everyday lives - they look to be that guy for a woman.

If you don't show him a few imperfections or quirky habits - how is he to feel like the hero for you that he wants to be.

Makes a lot of sense - doesn't it?

AND...

Men want women who are a little different and I believe these "quirky habits" are very unique to the individual and can easily satisfy the "different" requirement.

Such as:

  • "It's cute the way she always chews her pens."
  • "She always has to fold the napkin in quarters before she puts it in her lap."

I once dated a women and the first times we ate together she would not let me see her mouth while she chewed. She would cover it up with her hand. It was incredibly quirky but also extremely cute. It WAS attractive in a way.

Men want their woman to be special.

They want to know they've found something in her that the others don't have.

A small quirky habit can separate the "just okay" woman from the "wow " type easily because of it AND make him feel like you're a REAL woman and not some perfect (or woman trying to be perfect) person he could never live up to or be her hero.

6. An amazing and inviting smile which connects to possessing a great sense of humor.

Nothing says more to a man than a smiling women. It's say approach me please. It says,

"You want to get to know me??? Get your butt over here and turn this smile into a real knee slapping pee my pants a little laugh."

A great smile and a nice laugh is also a great invitation to flirt. It's VERY hard to flirt without smiling and having fun with it. That's quite obvious but think about what it does to the guy you're doing it with...

The right smile can also turn a man on instantly and a great sense of humor is definitely a part of the whole cool thing I mentioned above.

Put them both together and you have a lethal combination lots of men can not ever resist.

Your smile is not just limited to invite men over to talk to you. It goes much deeper.

You see - men get pleasure when they're pleasing a woman - it's hardwired into their attraction mechanism. So when a man makes you smile he feels GOOD inside and he instantly relates those feelings to you making you more attractive in his eyes AND his heart too.

When he's able and feels capable of making you laugh - this also stimulates his pleasure of being around you and connects those feelings to you.

So it's not necessarily your smile and your sense of humor that attracts him (although it does a little) it's more about him bringing it out of you through something he's doing that builds his attraction towards you.

Lastly - having a great sense of humor shows a man you have a great perspective of the world and you don't take everything so seriously.

When a man sees and believes everything is not all so serious with you - he's more inclined to believe they'll be less drama, less talks about the relationship, and more FUN.

Men accept the serious end of relationships but they also want to have FUN too and these things when combined correctly doesn't just show him it actually makes being with you a great time and something to look forward to more therefore...

  • More calls.
  • More texts.
  • More being TOGETHER.
  • More ATTRACTION!

So... smile more - laugh at his jokes (funny or not)  - ENJOY and have FUN with him and notice how deeply he wants to...

Stare into your eyes which brings up number 7 on my wonderful list:

7. Dynamic and sensual eyes a man loves to stare deeply into.

One of the first thing a guy notices on a woman is her eyes. Yes, I understand that doesn't happen from far away but the closer you get, the more he's going to checking out your eyes.

In a survey I gave to men the results were staggering:

7. The First Thing You Noticed About Her?

  • Hair 96 Votes (16%)
  • Eyes 153 Votes (25%)
  • Smile 155 Votes (26%)
  • Breasts 61 Votes (10%)
  • Butt 76 Votes (12%)
  • Legs 50 Votes (8%)

Total Votes: 591

20 Question & Answer Survey Designed To Show A Guy’s Perfect Woman

Notice the top two on this list was your EYES and the last attractive trait, your smile.

This is because men like to connect emotionally with women and being lost in your eyes amplifies the experience and makes it feel more real.

A man is going to stare into your seconds before the first kiss.

A man is going to look deeply into your eyes the moment before he first tells you he loves you.

A man will gaze into your eyes in the moment he says, "I do!"

Your eyes are not only where these pivotal moments happens - it's also drives him sexually.

You may close your eyes during sex the first time and beyond (sometimes) but in most typical situations a man LOVES to look in your eyes the moment he penetrates you.

Having and showing off those sexy eyes of yours draws a man in closer to you but also gives you another advantage in that - if or when you don't feel comfortable about your body - your sensual eyes distract him from that area and allows him to create an emotional bond with you that goes beyond your physical attributes.

Have you ever noticed that very shy guys or men who have little confidence around women won't make eye contact with you and when they do, it's usually fleeting and a bit odd?

That's because your eyes makes a man feel like you can stare into his soul. As if you can read everything about him and the LAST thing a guy like that wants from a woman he's attracted to is for her to know his SECRET that he's not good with women.

Trust this power you possess of staring deep into his soul with your eyes for most men is a good thing because when you do it:

You're showing and giving interest to the man inside and looking past his exterior. Which is the area most men feel the most unattractive in - their physical appearance.

So you make him feel more attractive and as before - makes him believe he's attracting you which gives him pleasure and the process continues on and on.

I could a lot more about your eyes and what they do to men but I have to stop somewhere so let's move on to the next one on the list...

8. Lots of soft feminine shapes and curves to your body - in the right places.

Despite the widely accepted belief that most men like skinny model type looking women it's just not true.

Men's eyes were developed to notice movement as in the hunting process which required them to hold their focus for some time.

Their eyes also developed to quickly assess a woman's capability to bear children.

When those two items are combined and hardwired into his earlier brain he is much better equipped to see shapes and curves and respond to them accordingly:

  • The small of your back...
  • The shape of your ass...
  • The slight curve on the sides of your breasts...
  • The nape of your neck...

It's not generally the size of your body - it's the shape and your shape can come in many forms from the overly muscular body builder (which yes some guys go for) to soft roundish look to the full figured beauty.

If you look far enough you will find guys that go for skinny and lacking any sensual shape whatsoever but that is not the norm - it's the exception and science will tell you that is has little to with her weight and more to do with a distorted belief system or age of the man.

More generally speaking - truly FEMININE shapes are what guys find the most attractive on a woman and although there may be aberrations and the hour glass figure is prominent - it doesn't make that much of a difference of the shape itself - as long as there is something thing he can put his eyes on and FOCUS intently.

9. Competent confidence - strong self worth and a belief in yourself with a healthy amount of self-esteem.

Yes - believe it, men are attracted to all those things but more importantly:

The more confidence you have, the more likely you'll attract a man with real confidence too.

When you have a strong sense of a self-worth, you will also attract an equal AND you'll naturally reject those who don't have it which becomes good to your future relationship with a guy.

When you believe in yourself you accomplish lots of great things and others will believe in you too.

When your self-esteem is healthy you'll find others with the same are drawn to you more.

That's the odd part of number nine that is overlooked by too many men and women.

You can still attract others while not having a great degree of any of these items and as it relates to dating men, you'll find when these are not up to a healthy level, you become more likely to be only physically attractive to men AND you'll again - only attract those whose level is the same or close to yours.

Which is why too many women might believe men are not attracted to these qualities.

10. An alluring scent which makes a guy remember you more and want to get close to you.

The memory of a woman's scent stays with guys for a very long time and since smell is closely linked to memory - that is just one reason scent made it to my list of what guys find attractive.

When it comes to attraction - to have a full effect, ALL senses must be engaged.

Sight, sounds, physical touch, and when scent is added to the list your attraction skyrockets in his mind because it heightens his awareness to feel more and for it to last longer.

There's a certain emotional connection men (okay all people) link an odor to an event or feeling.

If your smell alluring, feminine, were close enough to have him breathe it in and he's later reminded of it - good feelings are associated with it and you too.

However this all must come with a warning - too much is not good - a little of a bad thing is not good either - AND unfortunately if your perfume or the smell of your hair or laundry detergent reminds him of something non-sexual than it can actually have the reverse effect.

Not many normal want to be reminded of a close relative but since they is something beyond your direct control - I understand it's tough to avoid.

There's not much more to say about this one - I'm a guy and even though I know what I like and dislike - I wouldn't even know where and how to begin to explain it to you in words.

So I'll wrap this up.

The inevitable conclusion...

As stated in the beginning it's not necessary (although it's certainly helpful) to have everything on the list going for you.

Take notice that when it comes to attracting men - it's definitely not an all exclusive physical thing AND many of the items above can either be highlighted in the way you present yourself or worked on fully to enhance your attractiveness.

Despite the common myths out there - men are far from one dimensional when it comes to attraction. It goes much deeper and runs quite the broad spectrum of different traits and attributes.

There are several that did not make it to the list and I've only found one that should've been mentioned but doesn't seem to fit on this already long top ten list and that is the all-important:

COMMUNICATION and how you present your wonderful attractive qualities to men.

Communication is encompass everything above and must never be overlooked in attracting men:

Your body language communicates to men sub-textually.

When you speak to a guy (using your voice of course) you're communicating to him too. Yes - I know that's obvious.

Your personality is also conveyed to him through communication which includes being shy, reserved, having a laid back attitude, being cool, having some quirky habits, etc...

Your smile and eyes certainly communicate to men in a way.

And most certainly when we're talking about confidence, self-esteem, and having a high value of yourself HOW you communicate that to men can make all the difference in the world.

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About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.

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This article was posted in What Guys Want From Women – Their Likes & What They Look For In You

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3 comments… add one
  • Lisa

    If a guy has just gone through a divorce usually how long before he’ll start dating again

    • Peter White

      Lisa,

      There maybe too many circumstances or situations to consider like how bad the divorce was, if there are children involved, who started to real breakup first, how long they were married, and so on.

      I know it’s the definitive answer you were looking for but breaking up is kind of a muddy situation. Unclear and messy.

      I imagine you wondering about one guy, you want to date, or quite possible are waiting for him to ask you since he just went through a divorce. In those cases, IF you really like him, it’s going to be some time and typically, unless you’re looking to be a “rebound” I’d let him date a few other women first and get it out of his system.

      Your guy friend,

      Pete

  • marlene

    I have all these things on the list and I still can’t get a date/boyfriend.

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