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Why Do Guys…?

Are You Confused By How Guys Think – We Go From One Moment To The Next

in Reading A Man's Mind, Why Do Guys Do
Thinking is one thing, but are you over thinking about a guy?
Is he over me?
is that why he has left some of the messages as seen?
is it cuz he thinks I’m no longer interested since i let him contact me first all of last week? when I used to message him first?
did I play too much too hard to get?
or did he change his mind about me?
Do you think that was about me or no? I had gone 5 days not contacting him

The entire comment left was here… http://www.whydoguys.com/welcome-to-why-do-guys/comment-page-5/#comment-18516


I have no idea if his pic on Fb was about you, “do you ever miss someone…”. I would say he might be dealing with an ex and that was for her. That’s my best guess or gut feeling.

My idea of the rest is actually how men work. It’s what I do and I see lots of men act this way too.

We’re generally single focused and we go from point to point. On the outside it seems like we’re all over the place but in our heads, we’re just logically progressing from moment to moment, day to day, even sometimes hour to hour.

Marni, normally a dating coach for guys said it perfectly in this article/advertisement for That’s Not How Men Work:

Men have a mental list of items that need to be accomplished, either in their mind or literally on a piece of paper.

1. Hang pictures

2. Scratch butt

3. Make wife happy

You get the point. ๐Ÿ˜‰

How To Change A Man

You’re in the beginning stages of dating or seeing each other which is beyond friendship and this is going to happen and you’re not going to see it that easily because you haven’t spent enough time with each other, yet.

I would expect lots of men to act like this especially him based on the few things you mentioned he sent you.

What I’m saying is…

Let’s say I’m here writing. This is what I’m doing. I may become distracted. I might lose my focus. After all this is normally a creative process for me. While I’m doing it I’m not thinking about calling or texting or talking to anyone else including my friends.

I will stay in that “mode” for a while. I’ll get a drink. Maybe some dinner. Stare at the television for a minute. BUT I’m still in “writing” mode.

When the next mode hits me then that’s my new focus. It could be anything from thinking about a woman to actually texting or talking to her. I will continue to stay in that mode until something else alters it.

The key point to remember here (when you’re dealing with us guys) is that we can do all that with several entirely different things for many days without thinking twice about something else. At least enough to cause us to change the “mode” we’re in.

These modes confuse a lot of women. That I understand. The feel neglected, ignored, and it can feel like we’re not interested when in reality, nothing caused us to break our focus enough AND over time, we tend to forget where we left off.

Now… as for the rest of your comment…

He sounds young. Plays video games. Sends pictures of what? Haha!

It sounds like to me he has a short attention span, isn’t too focused on women, AND whether it’s on purpose or not doesn’t matter or if he’s trying to get you to chase him more to make himself feel better about the whole.

Guys do that to either boost their Ego with women they’re only mildly interested in, learned it works better that way, don’t pay much attention to it all, OR like to leave you hanging because it’s less work.

I won’t comment on the legitimacy of it all right now but I will say it’s better than crawling up your ass immediately and coming off like an overly needy desperate guy… right?:)

My suggestion to you would be to stop worrying or over thinking it all. You must admit what you wrote me tells me you have definitely constructed in your mind more than your situation needs and it’s only driving you crazy.

When it comes to guys, especially guys who appear to be all over the map and very confusing, you’re best option is to NOT let yourself get too invested in his actions and focus on yourself more.

Sure we like to be liked by women. Sure we like women to adore us. To worship us and treat us like we’re the only guy in the world and how we’re the best at “getting you” BUT we tend to move along with women at our own pace and are more likely to move forward with less pressure.

That simply means no matter how much you analyze a situation, no matter how hard you try to figure out one guy and what his actions mean and whether or not you screwed it up or played too hard to get, it’s not going to change a thing.

“There are certain things any woman can do to gain the attention of a guy and not push him away. Learn how itโ€™s all done from a real guys view.” How To Get His Attention Without Looking Desperate or Scaring Him Away

Focus on what you DO have control over:

  • Attraction. Create it. Let it simmer. Lure a guy. Let it grow.
  • Go about your own business and focus on your daily life the best you can.
  • Allow a guy to work for YOU by challenging him to at least chase you a little or meet you half way.

It that’s not working then avoid him or move on and always keep doing that same thing with every guy YOU are interested in.

The right guy, or the guy who gets you, will not only appreciate you more for it BUT will also step up to your challenge IF in fact he for one, has confidence and know how to do it, and two, is an actionable guy and not just some guy will talk to you to death without ever doing anything about his attraction.

“We need to learn to miss you and think about you or what youโ€™re doing or WHO youโ€™re doing it with. We need to left on a high note and left wanting more. Our interactions need to be short and as powerful as they can be.” What To Do When You Think A Guy Is Ignoring You

Let me quickly answer your questions to finish this off.

Is he over you?

Highly doubtful. As long as there is an attraction and you haven’t pushed him away which looks to me like you didn’t.

Is that why he has left some of the messages as seen?

Nope. We read our messages and sometimes respond, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we don’t because we don’t want to start a conversation or we read them at the worst time.

Is it because he thinks you’re no longer interested since you let him contact you first all of last week, when you used to message him first?

Doubtful. We don’t normally think like that. We tend to just go with the flow.

Trust me, men do not give up that easily. We can not and find it actually hard to believe a woman just lost interest in us.

We get something in our minds ( call it a mode I mentioned above) and we have it incredibly difficult to let it go.

Did you play too much too hard to get?

It does NOT sound like you played hard to get at all. Hard to get would be constantly running when he is chasing or acting like you care but never respond. Playing hard to get often leaves men frustrated and since we get “stuck” that way with our mode… acting from or out of that frustration and we end up doing some weird wild stuff. If you know what I mena. ๐Ÿ˜€

Did he change his mind about me?

I find that difficult to be true. We rarely change our minds all that easily. We might do things differently or appear to be not interested BUT if we do change our minds we either break it off entirely or cease most contact immediately hoping the problem will take care of itself.

Wishing you all the best Taylor and don’t forget to do your best and avoid over-thinking a guy or his actions so much.

Never forget, some of us understand how if we can just get a woman feeling something and thinking about us a little more… attraction is building or is already there.

An honest, REAL look at men:


  • What we really think about.
  • What we actually DO want and what turns us off.
  • Plus advice I personally believe works best with men.

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1 comment… add one
  • b

    I read some of your posts on here and i think you give great advice and explanations, so i want some clarifications about my situation.
    I used to go to school with this guy that i really like, i’ve always liked him and he did too, but we were both too shy to tell each other, even thought we looked like we were dating, we stayed like that for a few months only then he decided to just cut me off with no explanation, and we didn’t talk since.
    That was five years ago. But throughout those years he kept asking my friends how i’m doing, even when he got a girlfriend, and tried to talk to me again, but since he’s a really shy guy we didn’t really “talk” until just a couple of months ago, where we had our first conversation (over fb) in 5 years. He pretty much poured his heart out to me, confessed how he never stopped liking me and blah blah blah, he even mentioned a possible future with me (which was a little too much in one conversation), but he didn’t want to tell me the reason he stopped talking to me, i confessed that i did end up having some feelings for him back in HS, overall it was a pleasent conversation. We talked a few more times, he kept asking me if i was serious about this or if i was just playing around with him, all i said was that if HE’S serious about this than there won’t be any problem, because i’m not here to play around. I also told him to slow down and take this whole thing step by step, instead of jumping on each other and break up over a silly thing. After talking for almost two weeks, he just disappeard, we didn’t talk since, its been over a month now. So i’m just very confused… why did he suddenly confess everything and kept asking me if i was serious and assuring me that he was if he was just gona vanish a few weeks after? What happend? Did he already lose interest? we didn’t even see eachother or ANYTHING. Is he doing this to have control over himself? because he used t be a lil clingy with me back in HS. I gotta admit, he has a complicated personality, he’s moody and very shy, but that’s just too weird.

    Thank you for your help
    B. chantel

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