Here are some facts about men chasing women - they want to chase you a little - they have to pursue you to feel more attracted to you - when a real guy is chasing you just enough it's because you're challenging him...
AND men who are UP to your challenge ENJOY the chase. They NEED it.
They other guys - the one's who just follow you all the time, well you know that's just not the same and you don't want those guys anyways.
A man feels masculine and proud (among lots of other things) when he can attract a woman BUT for that to work the right way - he has to feel like what he's doing, who he is, and the way he is interacting with you is causing it.
When a man feels compelled or is inspired by you enough to pursue, it activates the hunter instinct inside of him. His focus narrows. His eyes widen. He feels ALIVE and manly. It draws him in.
He wants to know without a doubt he's good enough to match your challenge and this amplifies his attraction towards you.
One thing that makes a man FEEL like he's a guy - inside and out - is when you become attracted to him because of something he's doing that is again, causing it to happen.
Getting a guy to chase you can be a hard thing to do the right way.
You don't want to "get" him to chase you - you want to communicate yourself to him in a certain genuine and attractive way and LET him chase you.
There's a clear difference. One's good. The other way is not.
Here's a great explanation of what happens when you try to GET a guy to chase you the wrong way:
"… because, as I hope you’re aware by now, truly authentic women never resort to game-playing, manipulation, or following arbitrary rules in order to attract the man of their dreams into their lives.
There are plenty of books and resources available which will actively encourage you to manipulate and trick men into feeling what they THINK is ‘attraction’ for you.
Unfortunately, when you get right down to it, this kind of attraction is nothing more than what a cat feels for the piece of yarn you’re dangling in front of it: the instinct to CHASE.
When you resort to trickery and manipulation to attract men, YOU become that piece of string.
You’re attractive as long as you’re playing the game … but as soon as you stop, and relax, and become YOURSELF, the attraction just fizzles out."
Okay... it's going to get a little confusing here but trust it will ALL come together in the end.
The two things you must do to let a guy chase you are:
⇒ NUMBER ONE: Letting him feel free when he's around you to be himself.
⇒ NUMBER TWO: Keeping his interest always focused on you.
Keep those in the back of your head as we talk it all out because I will be referring to them and just how important they are to a guy.
You do know some women just have this way about them which makes them easy to talk to - and us guys - well we're drawn to those women.
When you're easy to talk to a guy's inhibitions quickly disappear. He doesn't feel pressured. He's not worried about saying the wrong thing or upsetting you or screwing it up with you.
AND he never feels or realizes (if it is) that it's all up to him to keep the conversation alive and fun. The chemistry is free to go wherever it wants to go.
When a man feels like that around you - his interest will be on you and not the junk inside his head like self-doubt and uncertainty which can all too easily cause a man to withdraw to a deep dark corner in his brain.
If he's too concerned with himself and doesn't feel free around you - coupled with his male inability to successfully multitask he will find it IMPOSSIBLE to keep his interest on YOU. Which is where you want it if he's to feel compelled to chase you later on down the road.
(Not entirely but most of the time as he flips back and forth in his mind trying to juggle it all.)
These two items - free to be himself plus interest in you are, and will always be inherently connected to each other.
Here are some ways to open him up and make him feel like you're one of the easiest women in the world to talk to.
Have a remarkable sense of humor.
I'm not saying to just laugh at his lame jokes. You can do that if you want to but the better guys will see right through it and won't appreciate it. Once they know you're doing it they will get offended and feel like you're playing some sort of game.
If a man does respond positively to your "patronizing" engagement trust you've met a man who is probably clueless, unaware, and might be basing his whole Ego on your opinion of them. NOT the type of guy you should be considering to be your mister right.
If he's not funny, that's cool. Not everyone is - refrain from fake laughs and bust on him (nicely) for being lame.
A fun girl pokes and teases but always in a fun non-demeaning way.
I don't have to tell you that because I trust you're a good person. I'm telling you because you ARE a nice person and nice people are more likely to falsify a laugh or two just to appease someone. Don't do it.
Having or getting a sense of humor is not something I normally teach or feel confident enough to show someone.
I know the "type" of humor which attracts you and I've gladly handed over every last bit of that advice guys here: Why & How Being Funny Creates Attraction If You Use it The Right Way. (Feel free to read it and leave your opinion when you have a moment.)
What I DO know more about is a LACK of a sense humor.
If you're too easily offended, take things way too personal, see life as being only a serious event, and/or an unwillingness to act or talk outside the norms because you're overly concerned you could offend someone - then you're probably in the very least going to appear that you don't have a sense of humor.
Here's the only tip I can give you on that today if that's the case.
Just having a relaxed carefree attitude about life, love, and everything in between is often a good enough sign that you have a well-defined and attractive sense of humor.
Do not get or become overly defensive and combative on everything about you.
Woman who are vocally defensive over everything are not much fun to talk with at all. Everyone knows that. But think about what it does to a guy even if it's just done sparingly - accidentally or not.
Suddenly he's worried about saying the wrong thing.
He'll start acting differently around you.
He'll become afraid you'll take whatever he says the wrong way.
And he secludes inside his mind hiding his TRUE self to you.
When that happens the focus is on him and not you.
Less interest and a strangling feeling inside as he wants to be himself but now thinking that might be just enough to drive you away - IF he hasn't decided already.
Which - trust me - you CAN screw up a lot around a guy who's attracted to you in many ways and it will be okay - just don't go here because you want to get to know REAL him as quickly as possible.
AND not many real guys will chase a woman whose defensive and stand-offish or negative about too many things.
Tough to hear but you know it to be true. I also know that sometimes it's hard to tell if we're doing those things. They tend to hide from us and come out in strange ways.
PLUS what you might see as normal or casual a guy might take another way.
Here are some ways to tell if you're being defensive.
Over-generalizing men. (How we're all pigs, we only care about sex, etc... ) and then vocalizing it. It's okay to have your opinions on us but when the conversation tends to always steer in that direction, you're being too defensive.
Constantly complaining or whining about your life. Everyone bitches about things but when it crosses over to looking like you're superior or helpless to change your situation or blaming others - it usually only comes across in a negative way.
Gossiping way too much. This is defensive because it almost seems like you're defending the way you live and arrogance is NOT attractive. Gossiping cab be a deflection and for some women becomes a reaction to being nervous. If you're nervous, it's okay! It's just not a good thing to start blabbing about your friends as a defense mechanism.
BUT in all fairness - you should NEVER feel like you have to defend your life or your life choices to a guy just because you want him to like you.
He'll either get it or he won't.
Keeping him interested and in the present with you plus allowing him to be himself starts with you being overly comfortable in your life and less concerned with others or how others see you.
When men see that, they'll be more open about sharing their life with you because they won't feel like they're going to be judged for everything they do.
They'll also be more open to sharing their feelings with you which is a good thing.
When he's interested that much in you and feels like he can be himself at all times - because of everything we've covered so far - he WILL pursue and chase you because he'll begin to feel like he can not get enough of you.
When he has something important to say or feels - YOU'LL be the one he searches for and nobody else.
Moving on now...
Don't be too direct about the details and withhold just enough - conversational attraction.
I sucked at this so I know way too much about it. I believed I was being nice by giving it all away but what really happened turned out to be making the conversation boring with nowhere to go.
When you're talking or interacting with a guy don't just go asking questions that can be answered with one word.
Don't always give him a direct answer. Make him WORK for it a little by having fun.
Do it in moderation. It can easily turn into too much.
Keep it light and fun.
This works so well because it allows you both to discover a little about each other without having to give too much information in a boring predictable way.
This also works because it's about having great conversations.
Conversations that ignite a spark and not to just exchange facts about each other.
When you're too direct you won't open him up at all.
He will quickly begin to feel like he has to work too hard to keep your attention and you'll end up doing the exact opposite of what you want to... and that's keep him interested and free to be himself.
And here's the really cool part.
Guys that don't respond attractively to this better style of conversation and communication won't EVER get you anyways. So you're doing lots of things: You're qualifying a better man. You're challenging him to pursue and chase you. You're creating attraction.
AND you're going to keep him interested.
WARNING: You can have some amazing and incredible conversations with a guy but if you fail at something else - it will NOT encourage him to chase you automatically.
I've spent my whole life as a guy - sounds funny but these days assuming something like that might be wrong on occasion.
I've also spent the last decade consuming every last word on all this attraction stuff. It's part of what makes me a self-proclaimed expert.
There's more than a few advice tips or strategies which are consistent among every venue - whether they're trying to sell you a husband, get your ex-back, build a more attractive you, or even show you how to play the game better than some other woman, there's ALWAYS a few that are ESSENTIAL to making all this and more work for you.
Those two common elements are TIME and SPACE.
And no I'm not going to direct you to a book written by Albert Einstein. (Sorry if you're disappointed because he actually did say some very intelligent words on men, women, and the relationships between them.)
How they (time and space) are achieved are equally important.
"WHAT MAKES A MAN PURSUE.
In order for a man to feel attracted to you and to pursue you, he has to feel “a pull” towards you. There needs to be some tension and the actual space for him to move forward into that space.
This is what we think of as “the chase.”
And men enjoy the chase. It makes them feel as if they are consciously choosing you and winning something they worked for.
Unfortunately, what often ends up happening is that we like a man so much – and want to make sure he knows we’re interested – that we inadvertently push into him rather than create the space where he feels pulled toward us."
We then go to...
"#6: Practice radio silence every now and then.
Nope, I don’t mean cutting off all contact and see how he reacts. Playing hard to get to an extent is fine, but it isn’t about manipulating his emotions or making him feel bad.
So all I’m asking is that you don’t broadcast every single thing you’re doing.
He doesn’t need to know what you’re having for lunch, or how Linda from Marketing hogged the floor during the office meeting.
Social networking sites are a bit to blame because it adds to the “Gimme my 15 minutes” culture.
And technology in general is making it way TOO easy for us to bombard other people with the mundane aspects of our lives.
This special guy of yours isn’t your best friend or mother. He’s perfectly fine wondering a little what you’re up to.
In fact, it’s the perfect way to avoid making him feel crowded. Give him the headspace to think about you, rather than trying too hard to insert yourself in his thoughts."
Trick #5: Make him long for you by having a full life.
Make sure you’re not always available to answer his calls and texts
right away. Don’t ever tell him, “So sorry I missed your call!” or “Sorry I was
Never apologize for having a life.Having your own hobbies and friends will make you more attractive to men. Instead say, “Wow, it was insane this week!” or simply, “It’s so good to catch up now.”
Men will test you from time to time. He’ll talk to you for a week and then not call you one day. You might worry that something happened. Most likely, he’s seeing what you’ll do. Call him? Send five texts?
Don’t text him!
What if you have a fun day at the beach, go out on the town, or hike
in the woods? Do something fun, share it on social media, and hold
off on talking to him.
He’ll suddenly realize that he doesn’t have you wrapped around his
finger. And he still has to put in the work to win you over.
“Oh, no,” he’ll think. “She’s not a sure thing. She might be out with
And then he’ll be chasing you again!
When he realizes you aren’t going to contact him, he’ll reach out.
When you get that “Hey, what’s up?” text, tell him, “Just putting aloe
on my skin. Got a lot of sun!”
When he asks how you are, tell him, “I’ve been busy at my friend’s house...painting my mom’s porch...so I haven’t really had the time to check my phone.”
Now he knows that you didn’t sit at home, and that you’re ready to
talk to him or go do something with him. This somewhat tells him that you won’t depend on him for your social life and emotional needs, and it takes off a lot of pressure
That’s extremely attractive to men. Your man wants to make you happy...but he doesn’t want to be completely responsible for your happiness. That sets him up for failure, and men like to win.
Plus, keeping busy will give him the opportunity to chase you even in
a relationship. Just make it more special when you do get time
You can watch their video promo here: The Real Reason Why Men Lost Interest - What Makes Him Stay in Love.)
All three of those quote are from well-established and VERY popular attraction products. They are also just the first three that popped into my head so there's more out there. A lot more.
The keys to making all this work - the chasing and natural pursuant of you is:
Time - without some real time between you and a guy, he's unlikely to feel the need or desire to chase you.
Space - you have to make space between you and him so he can think about you and has room to FEEL more.
Men typically cycle between feelings and thoughts which leads to chasing and a stronger attraction. If that cycle is not allowed to happen you leave him little room for it to grow.
(Incidentally - for maximum effect you'll want to do your best to keep in feelings mode more than thinking as lightly explained in this article I wrote.
Can A Guy Tell If He Wants A Girl By The Third Date? What He Really Wants)
It's in between all the fun stuff you do together where the urges to chase you down or his hunter instinct is triggered when it happens.
The time and space apart must also happen naturally.
Which is a good thing.
While you're out there doing your thing (happily) and not worrying about him or what he's thinking you give him all that he needs to think and feel AND his urge to chase you grows.
While you're here reading my blog (hopefully happily) and learning about all this "guy" stuff - you're naturally giving him the opportunity to miss you - and when that happens, the chase normally follows.
Let's wrap all this up today.
Men WANT to chase you. They WANT to be challenged by you the right way.
Pursuing a woman is inherently connected to their masculinity and desire to make you feel good.
There are many ways to get a guy to chase - right and wrong - do it the right way and LET him chase you. Games or playing generally leads to a man not wanting to play anymore once he feels he has you.
The RIGHT way can be achieved in many ways.
Having and living a full complete life without him over hovering and hanging around his every word or message gives you a natural space and time between you which allows or LETS him chase you.
To "activate" his chasing instinct he needs a good reason to want to see you again.
Interest in you and not the mind-chatter in his head gives him those reasons and more.
Allowing or bringing out his natural self - making him feel more free when he's with you, also encourages him to want to be around you. Which is one place where to the time and space comes into play.
Make him feel comfortable when he's around you and let yourself ENJOY it fully which will be shown to him through your wonderful sense of humor and positive thinking.
Make him feel like he can not get enough of you through attracting conversations and unique style of communication.
Once again and lastly - TIME and SPACE. Give him all he needs. It's a MUST and not an option.
I do hope you found what you were looking for and you have all you need (and more) to get, or LET a guy chase. Pursing or the desire to chase you is a very important piece of the attraction puzzle.
Be the challenge he needs.