A few things I learned about men and this whole attraction thing CAN help you understand what works with us… that is of course if you want some tips on what it takes from a guy himself. 😀
NUMBER 1: Allowing him to be himself.
The moment a guy feels like he has to put on an act for you, the more his attraction will become physically based.
NUMBER 2: Keeping his interest.
Doing this will trigger his need to chase you, want to see you more, and you’ll be the one he keeps come back for.
Both work amazingly well when use together and you’re bound to find more guys chasing you or at least finding time in their lives for you.
Okay maybe I’m being a little too optimistic or more to the point, very generalized because from situation to situation, when it comes to coupling up, there are many variables at play which tend to muddy the waters… if you know what I mean.
So number 1.
Some women just have this way of making the conversation with us so much easier.
We feel free talking to them and our inhibitions quickly disappear. We don’t feel pressured about saying the wrong the thing and we NEVER feel like it’s our sole responsibility to keep the conversation interesting and fun.
Sure, men must take some of the blame for not being good talkers but let’s play fair, it’s BOTH of our responsibility and therefore must be a goal for each of us.
And you can make it easier for men to talk with you or want to see you more by keeping their interest.
You can make it all easier by letting him be his natural self.
See how they’re both sort of intertwined with each other.
Yet, how do you allow that to happen without giving him everything because we all know that doesn’t normally work.
By following my tips below… 🙂
1. Have a remarkable sense of humor.
I’m not saying just laugh at his lame jokes. You can do that if you want to but trust me when I say, the better guys will see right through it and won’t appreciate it. We will actually become offended by your dishonesty.
With that said – avoid any and all patronizing engagement IF you want one a “better” guy and someone whose Ego won’t be solely based on your entire opinion of them.
If he’s not funny, bust on him for being lame about it.
A fun girl pokes and teases but always in a fun way.
I never really thought about how someone develops a better sense of humor but I do I know people who are easily offended… almost always lack a sense a sense of humor.
If you take everything a guy says personal you’ll lose his interest quickly and he’ll tire quickly of it.
True story. I messaged a woman on an online social site. She had a few pictures with no comments and nothing was written in her profile.
Curious, I wrote this exactly,
“Your profile is boring. 🙂 ”
She wrote back this exactly,
“You’re boring you fucking asshole.” and then it was followed by “You’re so fucking ugly who would give you a profile here.”
Apparently I offended her well written profile so instead of sending a sarcastic comment back to me she only showed me her lack of a sense of humor.
My advice to women who meets a man like this and you want to play along, send something like this back: “Have you ever heard of how we always see a reflection of ourselves in everything we see? 🙂 “ *TIP: Witty sarcasm is the perfect response to a well placed joke.
My point is:
Sometimes being too easily offended is a sign of not having a sense of humor.
If you’re the type of woman who believes your sense of humor is not that great, rather than “trying” to be funny, which can win you points with guys anyways, you can start by not taking everything we say as a personal judgement against.
Having a relaxed carefree attitude about life, love, and everything in between is often a good enough sign that you have a well-defined and attractive sense of humor.
Something which will allow us guys to be ourselves and definitely will keep our interest for a long time to come.
2. Do not get or become defensive over everything about you.
Woman who are overly defensive are not much fun to talk with. This is a little different from being too easily offended.
If you find yourself doing it you’re going to find it’s hard to keep him interested in you and you’ll definitely not give him a chance to be himself.
If he stays around he’ll watch everything he says around you and you do NOT want that.
When a guy feels like he has to, again, act like somebody different around you, not only will it become an act and you’ll struggle finding the cool guy he really is, he might all too quickly realize an attraction killer… too much work.
Here are some ways to tell if you’re being defensive.
- Over-generalizing men. (We’re all pigs, we only care about sex, etc… ) and then predominantly vocalizing it. It’s okay to have your opinions on us and everything bu when the conversation tends to always steer in that direction, you’re being too defensive. Trust me I’ve known way too many women like this and I avoid the shit out of them. 🙂
- Constant complaining or whining about your life. Yes this goes for “dudes” too. If you must get it out quickly before a date, or at least just remind yourself you’re doing to help you to stop.
- Gossiping way too much. This is defensive because it almost seems like you’re defending the way you live and arrogance is NOT attractive. Gossiping is a deflection and for some women becomes a reaction to being nervous. If you’re nervous, it’s okay! It’s just not a good thing to start blabbing about your friends as a defense mechanism.
Lastly, never feel like you ever have to defend or explain your life to a guy just because you want him to like you.
Remember, keeping his interested and allowing him to be himself starts with you being overly comfortable in your life.
When men see that, they’ll be more open about sharing their life with you because they won’t feel like they’re going to be judged for everything they do.
3. Passing his tests.
It’s true. We have our tests too.
You’re just better at it. 🙂 Some of us are transparently BAD at testing women and you’ll see those BUT it’s the subtle ones the “better” guy gives and noticing them, which can make all the difference in the world.
When you pass them easily and effortlessly you will have no problem challenging lots of guys and they’ll keep coming back for more… because they’re more interested in you over the girl who doesn’t know this information.
Challenge him creatively do so the sense of humor I mentioned in tip 1…. by using well placed wit and sarcasm.
Flirt just enough.
Too little and it becomes hard to tell if you’re enjoying it and that’s not a good challenge.
Too much flirting and it makes us feel you do it with everyone and it won’t seem real to us. Poor us won’t feel special. 😀
The right amount of flirting leaves just enough mystery to let us believe you just might be interested and it challenges us to step up our game.
Remember flirting is just flirting but when you can top it off by challenging a guy on many levels you won’t have any problems making it easier for us to talk to you. In fact we’ll look forward to it so much, we’ll seek you out for more.
I can’t get more into this testing thing today.
One because it’s a whole book itself and honestly, two, because I have formulated it enough to write it down.
For now, just understand it does happen and with guys but it’s more about qualifying you to help us decide whether you’re the right woman for us.
To help you pass the better ones, keep your eyes out for when a guy seems to be constantly putting you out of your comfort zone while at the same time, noticing how you act or react in your family, social, and workplace environment.
If that is happening, he’s probably not doing it on purpose because most guys are clueless on how to test a woman BUT the better ones just kind of do it naturally.
Who knows, maybe they’re qualifying you from a distance. Maybe they just want to see how you act around your friends and how you treat your immediate family.
Whatever the case guys who put you in several situations tend to be better at this whole relationship thing.
The guys who always do the same thing and keep you in some sort of pattern or place, and are not good at qualifying you, tend to settle too easily.
4. Don’t be too direct about the details.
I sucked at this. I thought I was being nice by always giving direct answers while Mister Illusive was seducing the woman I wanted without saying much of anything. I thought he was being a jerk or an asshole when in face, he was using a technique both men and women become absolutely attracted to.
All I was doing was making the conversation boring and even harder to go anywhere else but down.
You can do the same just remember these three rules:
- Moderation. Don’t overdo it.
- Keep it fun.
- Don’t ask questions which can be answered with one word.
This works because it allows you both to discover a little about each other without having to give too much information in a boring predictable way.
This also works because it’s about having great conversations.
Conversations that ignite a spark and not to just exchange facts about each other like some boring interview.
When you’re too direct you won’t open him up at all.
He feels like he has to work too hard to keep your attention and you’ll end up doing the exact opposite of what you want to keep him interested.
In my private newsletter I just handed out a great tutorial given to me from the great people at The Penguin Method.
They claim to have found a conversational loophole in a man’s mind to get him to adore and commit to you. I might not believe all that but that’s just my opinion. What I can say is that they teach exactly how to have conversations which are attractive to any man.
It’s a great technique any woman should learn. Here’s a great book they put out for free which will illustrate the concept with tons of perfect everyday examples –> The Penguin Approach (.pdf file right click and save or open in new tab)
Attracting men is a lot easier with these four tips so give them a try and let me know how it works out for you.
I’m definitely “interested” in hearing about it. 🙂
These work well because within them contain some of the main things guys look for in a woman which goes beyond your outward appearance:
- A great sense of humor.
- A laid back attitude.
- Being interested in him.
- A flirty way about you.
- A challenging personality.
These all work together so remember to use them all and you’ll have no problem keeping a man’s interest and allowing him to just be himself.
And of course if you do it better than him you can stop blaming yourself when a guy can not figure out how to talk to you. 🙂 You’ll know without a doubt this time – it’s his fault.