Let’s talk about women pursuing men a little BUT first, let’s talk about desperation and how or when a guy recognizes or see it in a woman enough to scare or push him away.
A woman looks desperate in a guy’s eye when:
#1. She’s always chasing guys who want nothing to do with her but at some point they were either together and broke up, just had sex and he didn’t want more, OR her sights seem to be more interested in guys who are taken.
That’s the type of desperation most men see and are more likely to comment on with their friends.
She’ll become clingy, overbearing, forceful, and will often use her “female” ways to create empathy up to and including acts of severe drama.
#2. She insists on doing things for a certain guy which have little to do with creating attraction.
This “act of desperation” is very common to guys but happens to women too. It’s when he’s not feeling it for her at all but she believes the more she does for him, eventually will he change his mind and it rarely, if ever, works.
She’ll do him favors. Push her way into his life. Tries to be there for him way too much. She might even “pretend”, when in public, that they’re a “couple”.
It’s clear to see it happening when her actions have more to do with nurturing than creating attraction as in the picture above. 😀
This includes buying him things, doing unnecessary favors, or kissing his ass hoping it will change how he feels about her. Not that we ( or I ) won’t accept them, just they do little to make us feel attraction.
#3. The third act of desperation happens when she involves other people.
She might use another guy, relationships, other women, severe drama like pregnancy scares, sickness, or family hardships to bring him closer “hoping” he will stay or forget. She might even pretend to be jealous to get him to show her one how he might feel. Basic or elaborate games to find out the truth.
Yes, like #1 there is a chance they were together and broke it off BUT unlike #1 it’s not necessary.
This can happen when she loves a guy so much who wants little to do with her and she’s either just does these things or uses them as a last resort to gain attention.
Desperate acts are usually, but not always or limited to, seeking out attention.
When a woman pursues a man it’s not often seen as desperate unless one of those things happens.
Pursuing a guy by asking him out, calling him up, approaching him, offering your body up to him, or just merely starting conversations in any way is not “normally” seen as desperate.
However, when it’s overdone or goes beyond what the guy feels is normal, that’s when it crosses the line to desperation and might have the opposite effect and push most men away.
Yes, men DO like to be the “hunters” and yes, some men “prefer” to be the one doing the courting, but most men who are pursued in a healthy way and “the right way” do not see it as desperate.
The right way has her pursing him a little which merely opens him up to his own masculinity.
When a woman pursues and it’s under normal circumstances is seen as “luring a guy” then that’s the right way.
“Men normally liked being chased by women IF they have no options themselves. The ones who do have options will let you chase them BUT…”
The wrong way would be her taking on the masculine role entirely and leaving him to “feel like a woman”. Such as taking his role in continuing or pursuing a relationship much too early.
In my world, or my purely male look at things… of course it’s your choice to decide whether I’m a good or “nice” man 🙂 …
I definitely do NOT like being chased too much and this is primarily because the women in my past who chased me for more, I did not want or wasn’t attracted to her at all.
Most men would (or should) agree with me.
The other times women have chased when there was an attraction, I was seeing someone or involved. They seemed more intent on breaking up what I already had than wanting me even though they tried “desperately” to make it “appear” about me.
What we have here is two distinct circumstances….
- Being pursued be a woman I was not attracted to which is NOT good, and…
- Being sought out when I was clearly involved with someone else.
Those two circumstances are more than likely the most common things that happens to guys and it’s something we’re used to experiencing.
I would say, without getting into all the little things you might actually do or project on a date with him because they WILL come into play, a guy will NOT see you as desperate if you avoid the three “acts of desperation” above and/or the two common things a guy typically experiences with women.
NUMBER 1: Allowing him to be himself.
The moment a guy feels like he has to put on an act for you, the more his attraction will become physically based.
NUMBER 2: Keeping his interest.
Doing this will trigger his need to chase you, want to see you more, and you’ll be the one he keeps come back for.
Both work amazingly well when use together and you’re bound to find more guys chasing you or at least finding time in their lives for you.
Some questions which might help you out. Feel free to leave your answer below:
- Have you experienced a desperate guy before? What made you feel that way?
- Do you believe you’ll come off less desperate if you have more “real” options with guys?
- Would you say you know one or more desperate women and why do YOU believe they come off that way to guys? What is it that makes you feel they’re being too desperate?
- Are you honestly so concerned with looking desperate that it makes you act different around some guys you’re interested in?
Your answers will mean more than you might believe AND can help you avoid coming off as desperate to most “normal” men.