When I first read this question I had no idea how to take it. I thought an attractive woman would know why she’s still single.
I reasoned if she has some reasonable choices then maybe she’s choosing to be single for something very clear in her mind.
But then it hit me… it’s not a broad question where it’s hard to define the answer for every attractive woman. It’s the bigger question which states…
What reasons would a guy give in which he believes an attractive woman is (still) single?
But wait… there’s more. First you get the list and then I’ll pass along the real question which I believe you’ll want to stick around for because the answer I feel is something lots of women should know about guys.
Some men might assume she’s too picky. She’s forever searching for that perfect guy. Her demands are unreasonable and she aims to put down any guy who can not reach up to her level of attractiveness.
To him then – this “hottie” becomes the “stuck up bitch.”
Some men may consider something even worse. She wants the one guy she can’t have. Maybe he’s married. Maybe he’s a womanizer, a player, or a jerk. Or maybe he’s the guy who keeps dumping her and she won’t move on.
She’ll be single for a while. Then in a relationship. Then single again. All with the same guy or at the very least the same “type” of guy.
I’ve found some men who believe or assume she’s a “career” woman. Her financial goals come first. (Man come later. 😀 ) She’s so wrapped up in succeeding she avoids any real connection with a guy.
But we also believe she’s avoiding a relationship because she’s been hurt in the past and is afraid to put herself in that position again. Either way she’s avoiding something from her past which will either have to be dealt with (sooner or later) and before she becomes bitter and understandably cold to any man’s advances.
On the side: There are groups of men who believe everything you’ve just read are just excuses to “let us down easy.” Usually they happen when you’re putting us in the friends zone. I tell them that most women, when they meet a guy who creates a deep underlying attraction in her, will find a way to fit us in.
Therefore the excuse or reason or whatever you want to call it typically means – you’re not feeling attracted to us.
Now the big question.
When I see an attractive girl who is single – and I believe this is the answer so many of you are looking for…
Do I (we, men) think she’s single because of a choice or because she has serious issues we want nothing to do with, making her non-datable?
Do we put her in the “crazy” section?
Do we say to ourselves,
“Sure, she’s hot, but she has major problems and if a woman that attractive is still single, then there has to be something wrong with her.”
As you may have learned by now, I’m a terrible liar. 🙂 So the truth is yes – some guys consider she has issues beyond repair but they are rare.
Most men do NOT look at a beautiful single woman and see a problem.
They see an opportunity. One way or another.
It’s the girls who are taken, who go from relationship to relationship without a break, the ones we believe we can never be with or are always surrounded by a guy who gets women that hot, that represent a problem for us.
Rarely if ever, do we think,
“Wow! She looks amazing. But single and 40? Something must be wrong with her.”
The truth is most guys give beautiful women more than a fair chance to prove how “sane” or “drama free” they are.
Assuming a pretty girl has needy issues or crazy habits or is money-crazed is not in our best interests as a man – looking to share our lives or just sleep with you.
Now as a woman when you meet a great guy you may ask yourself,
“How can this guy still be single? What’s wrong with him? Commitment issues? Too many crazy ex’s? Maybe he not good boyfriend material?”
But as a guy, when we meet a great woman we’re attracted to AND she’s single we either think (depending on how we are with attractive women) …
Let the fun begin. 😀
She’ll never want me. 🙁
“Dude! Check her out.” 😉
“Wow.” Mouth drops let the staring begin.
I think you’re getting the picture here.
Okay, the better guys will feel you out for a possible relationship and may or might not find reasons to disqualify you.
Some men won’t care and will put up with anything short of violence and infidelity.
Lots of men will avoid you making it seem like there’s something wrong with you but it’s really their insecurity and lack of confidence.
Yet when we meet you, see you, and consider you attractive (whether you’re old, young, or in-between) our first instinct is to check you out first, and ask questions later. 😀