Years ago, I never realized how many women actually DO get stuck in the friends zone with a guy. Maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe we just think it's easier for you than it is for us - meaning lots of guys believe you have an easier time attracting men than guys generally having attracting women.
A few years back I created an escape the friends zone step-by-step process for guys who were in the friends zone to help them escape. It became quite popular and then something strange happened:
Thousands of women ended up on those pages and started asking me for advice because they too - just didn't know why a guy would just want to be friends with them and others - were just hoping to turn him around and make something more out of their friendship.
I've since formulated those steps for women and you can read all about it here:
But FIRST you have to know WHY a guy will put you there and only want to be friends.
Here are the main reasons why guys put women in their friends zone:
The absolute #1 reason is: No ATTRACTION.
From the moment he put his eyes on you he felt no physical attraction at all.
How and when you became friends has no bearing on the situation. If a guy doesn't feel it quickly and you begin to do things together alone or more likely as a group - then that is why you're there.
The good news is men CAN be attracted to a woman (a little physically) but mostly EMOTIONALLY over a period of time depending on how you communicate and interact with him.
When I think back to ALL the women I've interacted with in my life and only ever saw her as a friend - this was why and I believe you'll find lots of guys who feel exactly the same way.
The #2 Reason is because he put himself in YOUR friends zone.
Just because a man can feel attracted to you does NOT guarantee he'll do anything real about it. Typically it's a classic type two guy thing.
They'll get close to you - do everything they can to help you out - they will become friends with you hoping something will happen but fail to act or do anything about it making you believe he only wants to be friends when in fact...
He wanted so much more and the longer time passes, the harder it becomes for him to make his move out of it.
You see the MAIN difference between the being just friends for women and men is that fact that:
Most of the time - IF a guy is physically attracted to a woman he will forgo or risk the friendship for something more while a woman will not.
Which is why most guys just settle in there with someone they like and hope you'll let them know it's okay to take the relationship to another level.
The #3 reason: He's looking for a friends with benefit package deal or free sex without the commitment.
It's well know that I do NOT believe in FWB's.
You can read all it that here:
- A Guy Said He Loves You But Now He’s Afraid Of Ruining The Friendship
- FWB - Does It Really Work? Don't Relationships Need Clear Definitions?
The FACT about this reason is that he wants the sex without the commitment and most of the time it's because he's not interested and probably never will interested in anything more with you.
So... technically speaking you're NOT in his friends zone at all because friends do not typically sleep with each other.
He's probably slightly (if that) physically attracted to you but doesn't feel a deep of connection to you to take the next step BUT still likes the sex part.
Enough said on this - moving on...
The last reason is unlikely to happen without you knowing it but should be stated anyways.
The #4 reason: The relationship has ended and there are very good reasons to stay friends.
When I say relationship this could be anything from dating to marriage and all things in between.
This reason happens because of circumstance which are beyond your or his control such as:
- Having children together.
- Working together.
- Shared social group.
- Close but separate family ties.
AND typically this reason happens because he broke up with you for whatever the reasons were and you would like the relationship to work through it, fix it, or continue to date.
There's no need to get into all reasons why the relationship didn't work out.
Take it from a guy who spent half his lifetime in the friends zone with countless women that it's not a very complicated thing to figure out.
It's just hard to ADMIT or see the truth because when you're there - it SUCKS and feels AWFUL.
The reasons are quite simple:
No attraction and you put yourself there hoping or thinking or believing he's just not ready or will eventually make his move.
He put himself there hoping to get out later or sent you all the wrong signals making you believe he only wanted a friendship.
He's not interested in a relationship or commitment but wants to continue or at least sleep with you on "friendly" terms.
The relationship didn't work out or he figured out through dating you that he didn't want anything more and you have to stay friends strictly due to circumstances beyond your control.