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Why Do Guys…?

Are Guys Really Only Attracted To Looks Or A Sexy Body?

Are Guys Really Only Attracted To Looks Or A Sexy Body? post image

In each man there is a trigger which when switched on, causes him to feel attraction. This switch is stock issued to us from birth and there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it.

A beautiful women – when representing a match to procreate successfully can bring about hormonal changes in our bodies.

Theses chemicals causes a reaction better known as attraction.

Whether it’s the shape of her body, the youthful look of her skin, or the mesmerizing lure of the way she moves it represents to us guys the best chance for our genes to stay alive by bearing strong offspring.

It’s typically and generally called, “Survival of the Fittest.” Do some research and you’ll find it backed up by years of study, trials, and proven tests. Since this is not a medical journal I won’t be going there.

What most of the journals fail to take into account is what I feel the most important part of attracting men which has little to do with how she looks.

It’s the one “secret” to getting any guy on the planet to literally follow you around like some love-starved puppy begging for your approval. (If that’s what you want.)

You see there’s one thing which supersedes beauty in a man’s world.

A piece of him NO ONE can ever physically touch by beauty or a sexy body alone.

You have one too and if you know how to “tap” into that secret power you will be given a choice – use it for good or bad. How you use it depends on who you are, how nice you are, and what you’re willing to do to get what you want regardless of those around you.

Dare I reveal this secret?  😉

Sure, why not. But I warn you it’s easier said than done. There are “tactics” which can help you and there are lots of great people who can show you exactly what to do. I suggest you look into one of them if you really want to know the how and not just the why.

The secret to get a man to overcome this “attraction” to beauty is in his Ego. (So to speak. He will always feel attracted to his preference of looks and/or body.)

If you can make him feel good about himself in a way not many women can, you can slowly increase what I call “your glow.” Meaning over time, even if you don’t match his preferences, you will become more physically attracted to him.

You can even change his “preferences” this way.

If you can also make him feel safe enough to open up to you, he will begin to feel a deeper emotional connection with you.

Remove the fear he has between being able to show emotion and still feel like a man, you give him the safety to feel and the comfort to share it with you. (In the very least when you’re alone together.)

This is what some call appealing to his Ego.

Granted I’ve taken a somewhat complicated notion and given it to you as lightly as I could.

But it works.

My theory is the “Instant Attraction” men feel is more about “Gene Matching” and the other one is “Nurturer Matching.”

In a perfect world both have a certain weight and a perfect blend but I fail to see perfection on a social or relationship level. Too many variables including social upbringing and self-esteem.

Now… Are Guys Only Attracted to How A Woman Looks? Are they only into you for your body?

As far as I’m concerned – NO.

Okay some men will fight you the entire way. For more reasons I know some men go for mostly exterior Genes, or the way you look. But they are probably the last men to commit to any woman. It’s a past self-esteem issue. Thus the complications I mentioned above.

Some men will only allow themselves to be seen with attractive women because of the “Ego” thing. It’s like you’re making them look better thus they feel better about themselves.

On the other side some men actually look at physical beauty as an inability to nurture. They might check “hotter” women out but they will always find themselves with a woman who makes him feel safe, comfortable, and who can be a perfect match to the mother he either grew up with, or didn’t.

All those are the extreme cases.

The most common scenario is a blend of attractive appeal, (which even if you’re not the perfect hourglass the way you move and present yourself to him can engage or trigger that instant attraction) your ability to make him feel safe, and probably most important…

How you make him feel about himself.

Try to guess which end of the spectrum I fall in based on my writing alone and not my good-looks. 😉

Do I go for mostly looks and a sexy body? Do I go for the nurturer and slowly fall for women? Or do I fall somewhere in the middle?

(Keep in mind your ability to answer this question and get it right without knowing too much about me just might mean show your ability to attract lots of men – not just like me either.)

(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
10 comments… add one
  • So Confused

    Hi Pete!
    Glad I ran accross your blog. Sounds like you fall somewhere in the middle. I was concerned men only went for bodies. I do believe I am an attractive woman but I don’t have a barbie doll figure. So then my question is: Do men ever date girls they are not attracted to or interested in more than once? I went on 3 dates with a guy I really liked. He was very flirty, affectionate, and kept saying how much he was attracted to me and how much fun he was having with me on all 3 dates. In the middle of the first date he asked me for a second date. The 3rd date we played it by ear because he had to work. It has been 2 weeks and he hasn’t asked me for a 4th date. We don’t talk or text everday. We have texted a few small texts every few days and just says he is working a lot (no I’m not text harrassing him or “trying” to determine if he likes me through texts or begging for a commitment to another date. Just stating have a good day and how are you?). I took this as he wasn’t attracted or interested in me and I should move on. My friends say a guy wouldn’t date and be affectionate with a girl if he wasn’t interested in or attracted to. Is that true? Was he attracted and interested in me or Is he blowing me off in a nice way? BTW…We only kissed.

  • cat

    but what if im not even a nurterer, im not feminine or girly and im not thee kind of person to stroke someones ego just so theyll like me, i feel like im a completely different type of female that no man would be interested in, ill never be the type who wears makeup and does my hair up all pretty or prances around giggling and drinking tea , i act quite alot like a man, i use strong language, i fart ,wear basic clothing, i speak in frank terms about whatever i want without being afraid of “unladylike topics” etc i see nno point in making a man “feel” like a man by acting dainty, or weak . i find that most guys are immediately turned off by my rough demeanor and open attitude. i fear i will never find a partner without having to change my personality and act like im someone else. any advice ?

    • Peter White

      Well hey Cat,

      I suppose my advice comes as more as encouragement with a tip.

      The tip: You don’t have to act dainty or weak or even all that feminine to make a man you desire feel more like a man. Remember, hetero men ARE wired to please women. Making a man feel masculine sexually is the easier part. The other is just allowing a man to be his masculine self without overstepping the bounds of who you feel you are.

      And you should never have to stroke a man’s Ego just to get somewhere with him.

      Now, men like all types. Yes ALL types. Just because you’re not the picture you believe is a typical female sure, might narrow your selection a little, but that does not mean no man is looking for someone like you.

      If how you dress doesn’t do it for you. You still have eyes which can be sexy and alluring to lots of guys. You have your voice and even if it speaks frankly and sometimes profane, STILL can present a luring tone to lots of guys too. You have female parts which tend to fir well with man parts. 🙂

      My suggestion would be to work in a little sexy attitude with men. It’s not the rough demeanor op open attitude which turns off men.

      But not using what you already have to tease and lure a guy in might hurt a little.

      Eyes, voice, the way you walk, how you present your inner sexiness you feel you have (if you’re not feeling it, find it first) and then show it off a little. Just hint at it. Guys will get it.

      There’s someone for everyone if you believe that everyone could be that someone.

      Wishing all the best Cat…

      Your guy friend,


  • Helen

    Hi Peter,
    So can a woman’s value to a man be manipulated or are you done after the first impression? For instance if a man rates a woman as semi-attractive at first and keeps that opinion for a while can she change his mind? Or is she stuck in his impromptu classification?
    Thanks for your help,

    • Peter White

      Hi Helen,

      Well I hate to use or say “manipulation” or to knowingly manipulate a situation SO, even without games, a woman can easily go from semi-attractive to something more in a guys eyes.

      You can do that by changing your look a little from time to time. You body language. Your eyes. How you talk to him. What you talk about it.

      There are a million different ways to appear more attractive to men and not all of them are physical.

      Women actually DO and already become more physically attracted to a woman well after the first impression. What we see at first is never the entire story in our minds.


      • Helen

        Hello Peter,
        First and foremost, thank you! I have several guys I have a touch of a crush on and one of them is a guy that I’ve known for years. I have grown more attractive from weight loss and a change of dress and movements over the years and I was hoping it had a chance of making an impression upon him.
        If I may bother you for a third time: A) What are the odds it already has made an impression? B) If it hasn’t already made an impression might that abruptly change with some unforeseen improvement?
        Thanks for everything Peter, your a pretty incredible person. And thank you for your speedy response.

        • Peter White

          You’re welcome Helen.

          I’d say most men, at some point, will notice so he already has. The odds very good. 😉

  • Sandra


    I have a different kind of question. Mainly for women the problem is that men want them physically but don’t want to commit. I have another story and I’m so confused, I need some answers.
    I met a guy about a half year ago. He is charming, funny and I really felt that he is my soulmate. He tried hard to get me. He did things that no one has ever done. He crossed the lines and gave everything to get my attention. Finally he got me. I just fell for him. We had really great time together, we had so much to talk about and we had so much in common! That’s why I think we were soulmates. He told me that it’s hard to find a woman like me with whom he has so much to talk about. Everything between us was great, our families loved us. BUT. It took about 2 months for him to kiss me. And that was when we were drunk. He didn’t try to get me in bed like every other guy does. At first I was impressed but as we didn’t have sex at all, I started to concern. In 4 months we had sex maybe 4? times. I spent lot of nights at his place. Slept completely naked next to him under the same blanket. But nothing. I don’t want to sound as ego but I know that I look good. I have beautiful womanish body with big breast, thight waist and beautiful peachy ass. Also I can’t complain about my face too as I get a lot of attention and have a lot of admirers.
    One night, after he told that he is tired as fuck and gonna fall in sleep immediately (like he said every night), I asked what is going on. What is the problem with his sexual life, is he asexual?. He told that he doesn’t feel physical attraction. He never felt it but as he also felt that I am something special and a woman with whom he wants to have kids (maybe he doesn’t know that for having kids we have to have sex, lol :D) He told that he had this kind of case some time ago, only one case. He ended the story right away but after regretted. This thing with me he wanted to last longer and he said that sex is something we can work on, that’s why he hasn’t folded. I have everything he has desired except sexual attraction. During our relationship we were really close. Kissed each other spontanously, hugged a lot, stayed physically together. How is it possible that he could have kiss with me but don’t want anything more. Doesn’t he have his own cravings? Of course he didn’t say that I don’t look pretty enough. He said that he don’t know what was it about. He wanted to continue with our relationship. There were many other little details but my main confusion is about he not wanting to have sex with me.
    My friends were sure that he is gay but I know him. There is really nothing, even the slightest detail to make me believe he is gay (expect that sexual life with me). Also he have had many girlfriends through years.
    What is your opinion?

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