Hi Peter. So I have a question for you. I have this guy friend, he acts interested and we text a decent amount. We have been friends for literally years. Lately he occasionally ignores my texts to “piss me off.” What gives?
I suspect he’s been trying to get out of the friend zone because his texts have been getting progressively more sexual. But I’m a truly clueless girl who doesn’t catch hints, clues or even suggestions sometimes. Help.
It definitely sounds like to me that he's trying to get out of the friends zone with you because he's beginning to turn up his sexual advancements - if you can call what he's doing... advancing.
But let's look a little deeper into your friend and I'll see if I can clear it up for you PLUS give you a little advice too.
First - as always you MUST know (or figure out) if he's a type one or a type two guy. If he's a type one you would not be questioning his attraction for you - you would know it.
I'm assuming he's a type two because most guys are and specifically any guy who is in the friends zone and wants out is definitely a two. Sign in below to read my free book so you can understand both types and why I suggest you should also assume a guy is a type two until he proves it otherwise.
Secondly - you said you're clueless on these things so I want to make this as clear as possible... One more assumption:
Assume EVERY guy is into you, attracted to you, whatever until as in above, it is proven otherwise.
It's just a more confident and healthier way to approach dating and men PLUS you'll be putting out signals of a highly attractive woman thereby increasing your chances at finding the best guy for you.
I'm not saying to act arrogant - I'm saying to believe any guy who wants to get close to you in any way, shape, or tactic... likes you.
If you don't GET men or feel you're clueless AND you're looking to boost your confidence around men - my suggestion is to of course - join up below where I make understanding men simple and get yourself Ready For Love. You'll get all the know-how and confidence around men you'll EVER need.
Third - the many signs or signals a guy gives you when he wants something than just a friendship with you.
Clue one: He's gets a little upset when you mention other guys you're dating of have dated.
If he doesn't want you sexually - other guys won't matter too much unless it's all you talk about.
So... start bringing it up in your conversations with him and note his reaction.
WARNING: Be gentle as use sparingly IF you do like this guy too because you might push him away.
Clue two: He finds odd or rather strange ways to touch or get close to you.
Being a past closet friends zone guy I sued to do this all the time. Yeah - I know it was creepy - I know it was wrong - but hey - what's done is done and I've moved on so don't you judge me. Haha!
Men like this often HOPE something accidentally happens. Exactly what they believe will happen remains to be logical or that smart BUT they will do these things.
They will come up with clever or not-so-clever ways to get REAL close to you.
So... if you want him - GET CLOSER... closer... and even closer and note his reaction.
Keeping in mind that type two guys generally feel uncomfortable around women they like anyways and his response might feel that way but inside - he's getting all "warmed up".
Clue three: He's starting to bring up other women in his life that want him when before, you wouldn't hear anything about them.
He's trying to proof himself to you and make you jealous a little.
A terrible tactic but I guarantee if is a guy is desperately trying to get out of the friends zone with you - he'll go to extreme lengths which are often sad to make it happen.
You might want to also look out for when he's beginning to down play these other women - how he feels like they're not good enough for him and how he can't find a good woman - or how he's SO unlucky in relationships.
Sure he's bitching to you about his problems but he's also secretly hoping YOU will be the one to solve his "woman problems" once and for all.
So... this is NOT when you bring up other men - you cleverly ask him all you can about what type of woman he is looking for and I mean EVERYTHING.
If you can get him to tell you his PERFECT woman and find it rather strange that it matches you all too closely then BOOM: I think your friendship means a little more to him than you might have believe before you used all my tips.
Clue Four: He's willing to go the extra mile for you - listens to anything and everything you have to say AND does you favors above and beyond even what a good friend would ever do.
This is a classic attempt of a type two guy. He's trying to win you over. He's doing everything he can to stay close to you.
He basically HOPING you'll see him as a great boyfriend who is reliable, trustworthy, and one of the good guys some women rarely say they get to meet.
You might have a friend or relative that does this but NOT guy will go this far UNLESS there's a real reason to do so AND he's doesn't do it for most other people too.
Clue Five: He's trying very hard to get you to tell him who YOUR perfect guy is and what he would be like.
Again - a VERY classic attempt to fit himself into your view of the perfect man.
I'm sure you'll quickly notice after that he's trying to get you too see it's HIM you've been looking for. He'll start to literally begin to mold himself after the guy you describe trying to prove he'd make the prefect mate for you.
So... if you want to see if he's into you - NO - don't start bringing up conversations about your perfect men, he's already doing that...
What you want to do is to start asking him questions about why he's still single, why he hasn't found the perfect woman for him, WHY, despite all his amazing qualities he has yet to settle down.
Men will tell you everything you need to know about how they feel about you when they start talking with you about all those things.
Clue Six: He's using MY friendly advice to escape or eliminate the friends zone.
Yes - it's true. I have formulated a step-by-step procedure for guys who are stuck there which give them the best opportunity to GET OUT with a more than marginal success rate too.
The steps (for women) are noted here: What To Do When You Fall For Your Friend & He Doesn’t Feel The Same Way.
Don't get too excited just yet - most men will NEVER find that advice and fewer will use it because they have a lot of hangups on taking advice on women and actually using it. You must realize men are less inclined to change their ways when they feel it interferes or threatens their masculinity AND taking and using advice on women tends to do both.
However - there is definitely a certain number of men who have found it AND used it too AND there are men (although very rare) who have stumbled on the steps accidentally.
Here's what to look for:
He'll first slowly or quickly remove himself from being friends with you but not entirely. You just won't see him as much and he'll contact you or get back to you much less than he had previously done. (To the women who wrote the comment I answered: Sound familiar?)
This is called the distraction phase where he's required to "distract" himself from the love of his life who might not feel the same way.
Next - and this part you might not see - he's given an informational education on attraction and he's required to work on his new skills with other women. THAT part you might notice as all of a suddenly he's dating around, picking up women, becoming much more of a ladies guy.
This also distracts him from you because I (we) know that if he doesn't do this step - he'll continue doing what wasn't working for him before.
Lastly - he'll slowly and very casually RE-INTRODUCE himself to you using his new skill-set, positive mindset, confidence, and knowledge of being an attractive man "hoping" you'll begin to see him in a different way which creates your attraction to him.
I'm sure you can see the brilliance behind it all AND how it's typically something a guy will stumble on and use on you. I spent so many years in the friends zone and put it together after a ton of research and experience.
So... if you want to know without a doubt he's using this on you then don't worry about it because eventually IF you have strong feelings for him - you'll be together and hopefully happy for the rest of your life together.
AND you MUST let him go through all the steps because trust me - he needs it AND you'll a much more attractive guy after who WILL devote himself to you IF and ONLY IF (because this happens a lot) he finds another woman during the process and decides you'll only ever want to be his friend anyways.
The wanting to be more than friends conclusion...
Men ALL over the world will stay friends with a woman they like or even love and you might not be aware it's happening because these type two guys are very experienced at hiding at from you.
It's kind of what makes them a type two guy.
You're best way around all this is to (again)...
Assume he's a type two guy because you WILL know it without a doubt when a type one is interested in you because he may "settle" or accept a friendship with you BUT he will make it clear from the beginning that's it's HIS choice and he'll let you know one way or another that's he's interested in you sexually.
Assume secondly AND believe it too that ANY guy will and can feel attracted to you. It's the more attractive way to do "dating business" and is a matter of YOUR confidence, belief and self-esteem too.
Look for the many clues I gave you above - use the tips I showed you on "exposing" his true feelings for you and you'll NEVER have to wonder if this, that, or some other guy sees you as more than a friend.
Credits - helpful links:
- Get Yourself READY for LOVE - Product info from Christian Carter.
- Christian Carter - Catch Him and Keep Him Free Newsletter.
- What To Do When You Fall For Your Friend & He Doesn’t Feel The Same Way.
- When Your Guy Friend Tells You He Loves You, What Do You Do?
- Three Signs To Look For If A Guy Wants To Be More Than Friends With You