Us guys can get a bad rap or have a terrible reputation when it comes to our emotions or feelings.
Women all too often assume we don’t think about “things” when in reality – we do and some men do it “waaaaay” too much.
Take that from a “now much better” over-thinker. Or am I much better now? 😀
The fact is, when we hear a woman complain about a man specifically, it seems to center around how he doesn’t want to talk about the relationship as much as she does.
Almost like it’s a difference in opinions or perspective rather than an unwillingness to share feelings.
How she wants to know where he stands because he appears happy or content taking things day by day.
How she wants to know where it’s going but by asking him – changes the nature of the relationship from something open and fun to in his mind, something defined and now destined.
This invariably causes many men to pull back making it seem like he has very little emotional regards to the relationship.
In the cases where his feelings are reserved or shy or not understood because there is no real interaction…
She’s unsure of his intentions because he’s not asking her out, approaching her, and it appears just admiring her from afar is actually all he wants to do.
Therefore his lack of feelings towards her seems to center around her frustration in not knowing the truth of his intentions.
“Why, despite all those answers, you still find yourself wondering if he is interested in you. If he’s truly attracted to you. A Man’s World Exposed – How To Tell If A Guy Likes You – Is He Really Interested?
She’s more often than not attracted to him and he does little to reveal his own attraction to her beyond a glaring look in her direction.
We – at least the man I’ve been and the ones I known the closest often assume (…right or wrong… ) that women have it easier because we have a delicate small area to balance our emotions which typically can and will define our masculinity…
Whereas she’s a woman granting her every right and sometimes the privilege of being emotional or overly emotional at any given time and place when she feels it AND she won’t be judged or attract less men because of it.
Of course they ARE generalized assumptions – Men fear the overly non-essential dramatic woman. Men also ( the ones whom are less capable of attracting them ) don’t know how to deal with her ups and downs and read WAY too much into causing them only to cower away and become not unusually silent.
All this ( and that ) happens because….
Every man from day one of his manly existence struggles to grip with his emotions and it’s not because they don’t understand them or even know they’re feeling them, it’s because…
We’re not supposed to show our emotions. We’re not supposed to be all moody and shit.
We’re supposed to be strong, dominant, and we’re not allowed to bend or break easily to the pressures in our lives.
When a man shows too much emotion he’s considered a wussy. He more often than not fails to attract the feminine side because of it and there’s much more.
When he shows too little emotion, he’s considered unfeeling and crass. This man often does attract more women than the wussy because he’s playing ( in the very least ) the masculine role most women prefer. Otherwise you’d all be dating other girls wouldn’t you? 😉
However – Somewhere in the middle lies the man we’re “supposed” to be and we all know it. Some of us just struggle to find that right balance which works for YOU.
We DO have feelings. Lots of them.
We experience emotional highs and lows. We experience love, excitement, fear, sadness and everything in between.
Some experience them too much and hide them away; perhaps afraid to be seen as less than a man.
Some wear them publicly. They fall in love all too easily. They get worked up over every little thing that happens to them.
They take rejection personally and often seclude themselves to avoid further repercussions.
We live through the same ups and downs just as each and every woman does… except there’s a major difference between the sexes.
We think more logically and that’s all.
There’s a good reason for this and I believe you’ll understand the “common man” much better with a few undeniable facts about us.
Our brains may be similarly constructed but it’s a biological fact women have these tiny nerve bundles connecting the left half of the brain with the right half.
“Gurian agrees that culture is significant in brain development, but argues that biology plays an equally important role. He makes a point of how the MRI scans show that the female corpus callosum, the center of the brain which regulates communication between the brain’s hemispheres, is larger than the male’s. On the other hand, the scans also show that information flows more freely between the hemispheres of the male brain. http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Study_claims_to_show_difference_between_male_and_female_brains
Us men.. well we just don’t have as many of those nerve bundles. It is not so “pronounced” as yours.
Sure the flow may be considered greater but there’s also a very good reason for it.
Imagine yourself way back when you either killed your food to eat or you simply died from starvation.
When it comes down to the moment of pouncing your prey the last thing you want is to focus on how your lunch is feeling. Empathy does have a negative side in these kind of hunts.
The last thing you need to be thinking about is how you’re feeling as you’re doing it.
Since we ALL ( sociopath or mentally unhealthy excluded ) feel empathy we would starve thinking about how our prey feels and we would certainly not be around be writing about this today.
Granted the world is much different now than it was “way back then”.
The mind is a wonderful piece of equipment and adapts quickly to its surroundings.
Today we DO have more men who learn to use those free-er moving connections more than others.
And there are certainly women who have learned to think more one-sided or logically perhaps in avoidance of getting hurt or because they’re just born that way. I have no doubts about the complexity of us humans and the differences we’re born with or develop in our youth.
However – aside from all the advanced learning we have managed to develop through childhood, man or woman, we’re still mammals ALL capable of emotions.
We’re ALL mammals with real feelings.
We just have a slightly different way of displaying them, interpreting them, projecting them, explaining them, and certainly communicating them to those we either love or don’t.
Men really DO have feelings!
Even the most stoic people who seem impervious to any kind of emotions are experiencing the very same rushes of emotional ups and downs women do AND they’re feeling in the same way.
Men really do have feelings and the greatest most secure men are not afraid of them… Although we won’t always show them and we have our many varied reasons for doing so. ( Something which I vow to cover sooner or later. )
My point in all this may or may not be clear. As if I’m dodging some internal struggle or personal relationship I’m not sharing but that’s just not the case.
You see I believe YOU know we have feelings and it just pisses you off, frustrates you to hell, or sometimes even annoys you to all ends because we’re not sharing them with you at the appropriate time.
Mostly when you want to know whether we’re in love, like, desire, attraction, or in our blatant honesty in wanting sex without some long-term attachment.
You would think our sharing would make things simpler or at least understandable. Perhaps in the “end” or while in the relationship if we only knew how to communicate them to you in a way which was clear it would… but what about in the beginning?
Before we get into all that or some of our deepest fears and desires when it relates to HOW WE FEEL, I’m going to leave this open but with a very serious question which has been somewhat proposed in my newsletter…