≡ Menu
Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

in Sexual Desires
A closer different look at the moment he defines his sexual gratification by sleeping with many different women.

The “natural” view is actually quite simple. Men, being built to procreate many times and “spread their seed” are actually designed to sleep with many women in their lifetime.

Now I understand in this modern social world men have a choice. They can choose to sleep with a few, or commit forever to one girl.

He can choose to stare temptation in the face and deny any woman who is willing to have sex with him.  ( Granted being human we ALL have the option to step out of our traditional roles and do something different. )

Some of you might even assign a level of strength to him.

The stronger man can resist his instinctual sexual drive.

The weaker man gives in even though he knows it could emotional hurt her.

Yet the stronger man has more temptation and the weaker man doesn’t. So it’s not really a fair assessment.

What about this?

Very few women I have known will have sex with a guy who does not have the option to sleep around.

You want the best mate for you and typically he will be highly sought out by other women too.  Thus the man you want the most has a greater probability of cheating on you too.

I know.

Kind of sucks but it’s true.

Some argue in the modern world we live in these rules, for lack of a better word, don’t apply.

They throw around the word “love” and expect if a man loves a woman he should never stray. She should be all he ever needs.

Doesn’t work that way though – does it?

Especially when so many men struggle with the definition of love.

Especially when there’s guys who will obsess over a woman until he’s had sex with her and the “thrill” wears off.

The male sex drive can be powerful and sometimes dominating.

It can take control over us and send us into the arms or bed of any woman willing or when properly directed can drive us to succeed in more areas than just sexual conquest.

Based on my experience there’s a certain relevance to the male orgasm and our instinctual drive to sleep around.

There have been so many nights where after I release my male potency alone ( so as not to confuse the feelings when a woman’s involved ) and not ten seconds later I felt let down. Like it wasn’t good enough.

Even after having delayed gratification for several hours it felt like, “That was it?!!!”

The longer we wait, within reason, the more we produce.

But after, depending on the circumstance we might even feel a little guilty.

More empathetic.

Thirsty and hungry and sometimes apathetic, sometimes contempt and tired.

Whatever the after affects happen to be…

When the drive is temporarily removed, the primal urge to reproduce no longer connected to us,  there’s a strange feeling of loss.

Like we’re missing something.

In the arms of our proclaimed love this can easily be overcame with a hug, a shared story, or anything emotional connection. Thus equating love to the experience and to the person we’re with.

In the arms of an affair, a one night stand, a situation where we can not connect love to the persona we’re with, this loss does not go away until the next time.

Keeping us in forever search of the perfect lay.

You would think the first experience would keep us happy. Stop us from straying or at least be enough reason to only ever want to be with the one we love but…

What if we don’t feel that connection or we don’t know how to open up, or what if the women we’re with doesn’t allow it to happen, or doesn’t know how to respond to a man after, or what if she isn’t allowing his sex drive to be completely brought out.

Or even worse yet what if he feels like she has not been completely satisfied and after the moment, while the drive has left, he no longer feels powerful but weak and unable to perform.

My point is the male orgasm is a sudden release of all that makes us male but has little to do with makes us a responsible adult according to social standards.

Depending on our lifestyle, willpower, ability to succeed, our health, or anything related in the few moments we’re about to release is when we feel the pure power and strength of ourselves.

Some of us may not find the “emotion” anywhere in our lives and since it is short and followed by the removal of a part of our masculinity, we’re driven to search for it again and again and again…

Thus satisfying nature’s gift to us to procreate almost unconditionally as many times as physically possible.

While the build up is there nothing else matters – we’ll move mountains to achieve those few seconds before.

For so many men the desire to sleep around has nothing to do with women but more to do with his control and ability to tap into his masculine male role in nature.

Some men achieve this through different outlets, some do it by bedding lots of different women, some learn it from experience, some take her advances as being the same…

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

It’s not our role as provider, it’s probably not even nature granting us the ability to do so, a lot of times it’s to…

Experience a moment where we can truly enjoy a surge of our primal masculine self.

Choices, selection, ability, or personal situation aside, feeling like a man who belongs in the world and is an actual contributor by doing exactly what we’re designed to do appears to be reason enough.

What all this means is of course open to interpretation, speculation, and reasoning.

If you’re a guy tell me – Why do you sleep around?

But if you’re a woman tell me this…

What is the one moment in your life (which can happen many times) where you absolutely felt like you’re the definition of femininity and nothing else seemed to matter but that one moment? AND you find yourself constantly searching for it again by any means possible?

If you can find that answer and believe it to be true – then you can certainly imagine why men do in fact sleep with so many different women regardless of the situation or the affect of his actions.

Welcome and thank you for visiting Why Do Guys…?

The “Why Do Guys” newsletter is where you’ll get more discreet information as I discuss many confusing topics about men which affect you directly. Emails, posts, and timely updates.

There are currently over 1600 women signed up and the list grows. I wish I could personally thank you all of you for the many kinds words and praise.

(Your personal info is never sold or shared. No spam. 18 years or older please. Unsubscribe easily at any time. Some emails not written by me and does contain affiliated or promotional material or links.)
65 comments… add one
  • Dana

    Men sleep around because it’s what we do. If you deny yourself that and don’t express that to your spouse then your kidding yourself. Why do you think 60+ year old men date 20 something women? Yeah. It must be love. *snicker*

  • TheTruth

    Well most women are ahead of that game, that is for sure.

  • Scarlett

    Nahhh,men who think they need to prove something by sleeping around are just insecure dirty whores. I like my men clean and pristine. I’m not looking for an STD.

    • konzay

      Why didn’t you answer the question about the moment that made you feel the most feminine?)

      • Susan

        Can you explain what being most feminine like a touchable answer. Thank you.

    • Sandra

      I agree with you. I don’t want a whore with a STD. When a man gets sick with an STD, he will stop playing around and look for someone long term to take care of him. Pitiful!

      • Peter White

        I understand we’re at “Why Do Guys” but we must remember sex (usually haha) involves two or more people.

    • Peter White

      I agree Scarlett – men who do sleep around just to prove something probably are very insecure. Hell I’d be even so bold to call a RARE few of them sadists.

      BUT dirty, ehhh I imagine many of them shower and clean themselves. And whores to me implies “someone” is getting paid.

      Aside from all that – there are lots of men AND women who enjoy having sex with lots of different partners because of the act of sex itself is an enjoyable thing.

      I suppose it comes down to responsibility and honesty and a little more.

      • anna

        I do not like guys who sleep around. I have a high sex drive and think of sex regularly but I don’t find sleeping around gratifying. I think it is easy for a man or woman to get laid. And I think men downplay how easy it is for him to get laid, especially if he has money and a nice body.

        I think guys who sleep around never figure out what they like when it comes to personality and common interests. all thy care about is an ego boost and living life in the moment. how will he make for a good long term partner. also, a one night stand, and I had mostly that, was never satisfying or worth much to me. I think if you have a high sex drive, a relationship is better because you get sex regulary and it is safer. also, I find sex where you know the person and enjoy their company to be sooo much better than any sexy one night stand. Emotionally one night stands are very depressing to me. I really don’t see the challenge in them for either sex and I lose respect in men or women who feel the need to sleep around so much. like 50 partners says to me that the man couldn’t keep the women and thy prolly just got rid of him bc they knew he wasn’t good for much.

  • Dao

    To answer your question: What is the one moment in your life (which can happen many times) where you absolutely felt like you’re the definition of femininity and nothing else seemed to matter but that one moment?

    I can’t honestly think of any one moment that makes me feel the “definition of femininity.” But I can say for sure that the most pleasurable thing in life I’ve ever experienced is being desired by a man. Hands down. No sex or relationship or anything needs to come from that. Just being recognized as attractive and desirable by men was always hook enough for me.

    I was attractive and got lots of attention, so whenever I felt bad, I would just put on some blue jeans, lip stick and take a walk in town. The smiles, hellos, offers to get a soda or coffee from the men I passed, of course, cheered me up. (Other times when I wanted to be alone but needed to be out running errands or such, that kind of attention annoyed me also. And such attention isn’t always friendly or good natured either.) I didn’t pursue men. I didn’t lead men on. I just showed up and smiled. I didn’t risk getting pregnant or hurting someone or lying about my activities to get a fix. But I did enjoy the privilege that came with beauty when I had it, and I now regret that I did not use my privilege more to benefit others.

    Eventually I aged out of this. Looks don’t last forever, so it was a tremendous loss of personal power when they were gone. I’m many decades now from my attractive maiden years. And I’ve learned how empty and vacuous it was reaching again and again for affirmation of a male’s desire for me. (Not speaking about all women here, just my personal relationship with my looks.) I had an easy fix, so I didn’t look for anything else. Losing my youthful looks forced me to find inner resources, so that I no longer had the need to use someone or something external to feel better about myself or to connect to an authentic part of myself.

    I think your post is dead on about why men sleep around. Yes, there is the nagging desire for sex that men feel. And there are the men who find getting sex with many different women quite easy, so they reach for this as a pick-me-up, as affirmation of their masculinity, as distraction, ego boost, or what have you, again and again.

    Addiction is addiction by any other name. Men who sleep around, make the choice to reach for something outside of themselves. The same is true with women who sleep around. It isn’t the impulse, it’s what we hope to get out of giving into it that keeps us hooked. When we see through the hollowness of our addictions (whatever they may be) of sex with multiple partners, or in my case, garnering the smile or invite from a man to feel better or make life interesting, the impulse won’t drive us anymore, and we can make kinder, more respectful, more responsible choices in our lives. Then our connection to our best nature is abiding and strong.

    • Xue

      Well said??

    • Tansy

      You! You are my future, I am your past. How to cope with it going? And yes, it is an enormous blessing (and also an incredible hassle to get pestered at all times), so loss of priviliege will be keenly felt. I’m pleased to know that someone went through this process and was able to vocalise it so well. Thank you!

  • BW

    Most women unfortunately are the biggest Cheaters nowadays.

    • Peter White

      A profound statement. 😉 What is your source? Can you prove it? Were you around (back then) to know at least a rough number of women who cheated was actually less than men?

      The foundation of an ALL statement is (generally) based on a false limited belief system.

      I make no predictions on one side or the other and probably could argue either sides case so I agree it’s certainly a debatable topic BUT as a mere statement alone, it only entices OTHERS to do the real work needed to back up YOUR claim.

      When you do (that) I can only assume you’re looking for attention or to entice others to either join you or not and I can assure you at “why do guys” you’re voice will most likely only be hear by a few who couldn’t care less and are not enticed to argue with you. 🙂


    • anna

      I think women now are allowed to express their sexuality more and women are gaining power which equals more leverage and freedom. before women were more controlled and oppressed where as now, we are embracing our sexuality more. I must admit that at times I had more than one fuck buddy bc I nvr thought any man was good at a one night stand. also, most men are selfish in men which makes me want to whore around on them to punish them for being selfish. for example, they will ask me to suck their dick but when I ask them to lick me first they say they won’t lick me bc i’m not their gf. I think some of the reason men get cheated on is bc thy pick out a girl who is prone to cheating and also they treat women badly.

  • shari

    Its in men and women given nature to have multiple partners although some choose not to, Im a lesbian and my partner can’t seem to stop sleeping with other women even though Ik about it but still hurts it love her deeply but i guess

    doesnt know what she wants. So everybody has it in There nature some Just choose to end

    • The Honest Truth

      To Shari, even in a Lesbian relationship many women will still sleep around with other women as well.

      • Sani

        Some time women that is with other women still look at men.

        • The Honest Truth

          To Sani, I very seriously doubt that.

  • Linlin

    My thoughts are because people who sleep around don’t have much going on in their lives. But that’s my belief. So they need something to fill it with by screwing lots of people. Because aside from a day job, or partying; depending, they don’t have much going for them. Plus people like that have more potential for STDs. I don’t care whether you’re a man or a woman, straight, gay or bisexual. Anyone who sleeps around has the potential for being more susceptible for STDs and STIs. Doesn’t matter if you used condoms. Or other preventative measures. Herpes for example is skin on skin contact. Also, condoms can break.

    But you can’t stop people. They will do what it is with their lives as they see fit. It’s their body and it’s their repercussion I say.

    By the way, I’m a 27 year old guy and gay at that too. I know the gay aspect is not related, but we are talking about men. First of all, I have no desire for sleeping around and I never had a one night stand. I never saw a point in it when I could just as easily satisfy myself with toys. Actually better than a one night stand could I’m sure; as generally, they are only concerned about their own gratification. Plus I wouldn’t open myself up to STIs and STDs because I’m safer with myself. I’d much rather have sex with someone I know I could trust and feel a connection with. So before it even started for me, I was way over casual sex. I would want something more authentic when it comes to sex.

    I never had a boyfriend either. But you know what? It’s doesn’t matter to me right now. I am focused on other things and have more important things on my mind. To be honest, I would never give a guy like that or a guy who had a history of sleeping around my time of day. I consider guys like that to me to be a waste of time; especially if they treat sex like a modern handshake. Apparently, it’s easy for gay guys to sleep around than it is for straight dudes. That can be true considering there is Grindr and gay bars.

    • Peter White

      Always great to hear everyone’s opinions and yours is certainly relevant to this article. In fact I have many gay friends and my best friend happens to be gay. I give him advice on men all the time. I’m sorry I HAVE to give him advice all the time because he needs it. Hahahaha!!

      So yes, we’re talking about men. Who they’re attracted to doesn’t seem to matter. Of course there seems to be another dynamic involved when we’re dealing with gay couples and we must keep that in mind, or figure that out, before we can figure out why a certain guy is doing a certain thing.

      Thanks for sharing Linlin. I Certainly appreciate it.


      • Linlin

        In your friend’s case, what he exposes himself to and let’s into his life is what he gets. If he puts out easy for guy, hooks up and expects a relationship, gets involved with someone who is likely not the committing type (aka. party boy, drug addict or alcoholic for example. All of which have potential for sleeping around), he will only resign himself to failure in his pursuits if he is looking for a serious committed relationship.

        The thing is some guys have multiple reasons for sleeping around under the guise of some “biological purpose.” But instead, it could really be out of insecurities, depression, wanting to feel desired, or just wanting to fit in. But there are guys who would never be vocal about it. (Kind of like how some men would never admit to anyone that their girlfriend or wife abuses them for fear that they would be considered “unmanly.”) They just do it because they think that is what they should be doing. It’s like with drugs or alcohol; same thing. It’s considered a coping mechanism for some.

        So I think that when men use the basis “to spread their seed” or for some biological purpose which is not relevant; especially in the age of contraceptives, it is just to justify their own actions. So in some cases, men are no different than women who sleep around trying to prove something or feel better in some way. And the effects are certainly short lasting I surmise.

  • Erin Kruchen

    The definition of femininity… when nothing else seems to matter but that one moment? … I would have to say is probably upon giving birth, but that doesn’t mean I want to have as many children as possible!! It means I will cherish that moment and that child for the rest of my life because it is SACRED and entitled to reverence and respect. This is the difference between women and men. A man should feel absolute masculinity upon fighting for his RIGHT to procreate and achieving it. This is how it works in the rest of the animal kingdom. You see, I think men are afraid women will eventually realize that the roles have been reversed, and this is why men sleep around, to get their “seed” out while they can, while women are still be subjected to their inferior roles cast by social norms molded by the media, influenced by men who think just like you, who claim men sleep around because it gives them the feeling of masculinity, but you know why they keep doing it and are never fully satisfied? Because there is nothing masculine about it.

  • anna

    I think guys sleep around because they can and because some men need women to fill the void. they also like the ego boost which to me is kind of a turn off if thy need a constant ego boost from women. why can’t the just be secure in who they are? Also, I think society is to blame because people say that a man who sleeps with many women has worth and is higher ranked. personally, I think men who sleep around are a double edge sword. some of them I find attractive and I want to get to know them and sleep with them, but I have a hard time getting over the fact that they already whored themselves around to everyone. they sell their cocks so easily that there is very lil sport in them. it is so frustrating because a part of me wants to get over the fact that they slept with so many women (about 50) but I can’t help to think what he may think about me if I slept with that many. of course, I am a woman so I do get the luxury of lying about 90% of the men I fucked. for example, I have slept with, by the way most of it was shitty sex, about 15 men(one virgin) but in my head I really see it as only three. I discount all shitty sex, sex with any guy who was selfish bc how is having sex with a selfish guy, sex?, sex with a virgin, sex that lasted 5 mins or less, and sex I didn’t enjoy. I only count sex that I liked so only three really. I feel I can safely discount the other 12 because they sucked and I sucked too. plus, If no one will ever know, how did I really have sex with them? you see in all reality I never really did.

Leave a Comment