Yes - it's partly true, certain men (more specifically type two guys) DO like to be told you like them but your words will not have the same impact as SHOWING your favorite guy in a way that he gets it and believes it too.
The problem with "telling" a guy is not all in the telling part - I've found it's typically done by women who are unsure about how a guy feels about her.
As she grows more and more uncertain and nothing is happening between them (or he's not progressing as quickly as she'd like it to), her need to let it all out becomes so great until it comes out with a flood of emotions.
AND what happens after is not always what she expected...
He could only want to be your friend so he pulls away feeling a little strange and wondering if keeping the friendship is worth it anymore.
He could want more but to him it felt like you only did it to get it off of your chest. Sure it felt genuine but since men are more about action, the "lack-of-action" turned what was a fun affair or get-together into an odd moment with too much tension and drama.
He maybe wanted something more and was feeling it a little for you but as the plan progressed something much WORSE happened as described in the quote below:
"She TOLD HIM how she felt. She confessed her feelings and let him know that she wanted to be with him.
He responded by flirting with her and he spent some time alone with her, and they even kissed and held each other. But soon after, he quickly withdrew, didn’t call her and wasn’t really “available” to her.
This only confused the woman more. She didn’t know how to take it…
- Did it mean that he really loved her too, but that he was afraid of something?
- Did it mean that he wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship?
- Did it mean that he didn’t love her, and that he was trying to give her a hint?
- Did it mean that she hadn’t tried hard enough?
- Did it mean that she needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let him know how she felt?
She finally decided that she couldn’t go on like this anymore… she had to be with him.
She had to make sure that he knew just how much she wanted to be with him… so she took a big step, bought him a symbolic gift and wrote him a letter… again confessing her feelings.
And then, something unthinkable happened.
Either he didn’t reply at all… (Ouch!) Or he replied and she connected with him on an emotional and physical level for a brief time, but then he backed away."
I completely GET how confusing it can be:
Seems logical - like a guy - TELL him, what could be the harm in that, right?
I UNDERSTAND you want to be open and honest. It's what you want from him so why wouldn't you do it yourself.
BUT, as Christian mentioned in his article which made me see how and why it's so wrong to just tell a guy you like him...
Telling a friend is one thing and although I'm more than certain it doesn't work, it doesn't change how he feels, but you'll get over it and at least you let it out so you can have some closure and hopefully move on. THAT makes sense.
However what most women don't get is how it feels so right to tell a guy you're just starting to date how much like you him and do all these nice things for him to let him know how you feel - what could be the harm in that?
Here's the harm you're doing...
"If you think about it from HIS perspective, you’ll realize that the moment you do something to “confess”, you’ve created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.
Up until that point, you were harmless. I mean, men know when they are getting some “special attention” from a woman. And they usually know it from the beginning.
But now that you’ve started pursuing him and talking about how you feel, you’ve created a NEGATIVE TENSION that can be VERY uncomfortable.
You’ve triggered an emotion that can actually repel a man and make him even more detached from his emotions."
You've gone from being a woman who is open to being pursued to pursuing him and chasing him and most real will only be open to that for a while - if that.
In most circumstances when you tell a guy you like him or do all those special things for him thinking that will PUSH the relationship along...
What you're really doing is CHASING him and you're taking away his much needed opportunity to pursue YOU.
A man NEEDS to pursue you - you have to let him.
A man feels pleasure and attraction by pleasing and attracting you - you have to let it happen organically.
How do you SHOW a Guy You Like Him?
Some of the answer is above:
#1: You have to let him pursue you.
"In order for a man to feel attracted to you and to pursue you, he has to feel “a pull” towards you. There needs to be some tension and the actual space for him to move forward into that space.
This is what we think of as “the chase.”
And men enjoy the chase."
#2: You must learn to focus on creating attraction FIRST and let it happen naturally because men DO feel pleasure pleasing you - they DO become more attracted to you in that way.
It's as simply as this... Which would you rather do?
Spend all your time chasing a man who only pulls away further leaving you confused and more likely to chase him even more - NEVER solving your problem and ALWAYS feeling helpless and worse yet - coming across that way to him - in a way I know you're NOT!
Live your life free and easy doing what you love, when you want, on your own terms, strong and secure, and creating attraction as a simple side-effect to the already wonderful woman you are by LETTING him do what he needs to do - PURSUE you?
Less work... better RESULTS... peace of mind:
#3: Create an emotional CONNECTION with him that goes beyond the physical.
When you do that - he GETS it. No woman would ever get that close to a guy without him understanding fully how she feels about him.
And done the right way actually encourages him to want to move forward with you.
He'll feel less "chased" and more challenged the right way because men are not looking for a woman who only offers an endless chase, they don't want to be challenged in ways which feels like a made-up game...
The REAL challenge they ALL want to live up to is:
Attract and please you.
As I think back to all the women in my life and what separated them from my wonderful wife (the one where we both agreed to spend the rest of our lives together) has become quite clear:
Our conversations and the way in which we interacted with each other went well beyond anything I've experienced before.
Sure I've had some fun with the other women before, we talked about all sorts of things and some of the topics were quite deep and revealing, we were ALL physically compatible... I could've all too easily "settled" with one of them but I didn't because...
Emotionally, there was always something MISSING. Something I couldn't put my finger on exactly for many of them but it just FELT that way to me.
I've come to realize as a man it's VERY hard to explain in words (when I figure it all out I'll pass it on to you one way or another) but what I CAN see is that we (us guys) know when it's not there and...
We can definitely FEEL when it IS there and with my wife - there's no doubt of our emotional connection and through that special connection is HOW we SHOW everyday how much we do CARE for each other.
Sure it's nice to hear since we are married and we do tell each other everyday as often as possible but the SHOWING part to me - is not just proof, because I don't need that (some men do more specifically the type twos guys, I do not) it tells me that we GET each other and it's the part I'm most emotionally connected to.
- Image by Everton Nobrega found at Pexels.
- Are You Stopping Him From Falling For You? Let Him Chase You! - Article by Rori Raye.
- Rori Raye - Have The Relationship You Want free Newsletter.
- Click Here To Unlock Your Inner Strength & Still Be Soft On The Outside - Tap Into Your Modern Siren & Draw Him Closer!
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