Hey Mr Pete,
i have been attending this camp during the summer (still have) and there is this guy i like an, we have each others numbers and we text and talk (in person ) and have convos the phone sometimes, he has asked me to hang out with him but i've been really busy … his personality is quiet but he will talk if you say something to him but i do wonder if he likes me??
please help thank you
Hey Miss Summer Camp Drama, You sound young so here's a piece of advice about men hopefully you will be able to use forever.
Girls are cool and all but most guys "hang out" with other dudes.
Sure we'll have women friends and do things with them BUT Guys who text you, talk to you in person, talk on the phone, AND ask you to hang out are telling you one thing...
I LIKE YOU.
Let me turn around this to me and we'll assume this girl I know is shy and friendly, texting me, talking to me, even asks me to hang out with her...
You know what I assume - or what I've been taught to do - or better yet what I trained myself to believe... SHE WANTS ME.
Think about what would happen if I were to always believe the opposite?
No one is attracted to me.
I'd spend most of my time looking and not acting or leading. I'd get stuck in my head waiting for something to happen instead of being in the moment or making something happen.
What if I were to assume she just wants to be friends?
Guess I'll just be "friendly" back and hope she changes her mind.
So yes. It's true - if you can believe this, not every woman is going to want me. Sometimes I'll get it wrong. Sometimes I'll even be made a fool for it.
Yet thinking the opposite has proven to me, and lots of other guys and girls just like you...
It's better to be positively wrong some of the time then it is to be negatively right most of the time when it comes to dating and attraction and lots of other things too.
Here's something so profound and it's going to blow your mind... never forget it because it's very powerful.
If the signs a guy IS interested in you are NOT talking to you, texting you, seeing you in person, asking you to hang out, or even being just remotely friendly and all guys are NOT created equal...
Then precisely what signal would prove to you (without a doubt) a guy has some kind of feelings for you?
They're not going to try to kiss you too early - with good reason of course.
They're not going to tell you they're in love with you early on - because they barely know you.
They're not going to grab your hand and demand your attention - well okay because most guys don't have the balls to do that.
They're not going to mention quickly had badly they want to get in your pants because - whereas some guys do and they might be better off getting that out of the way early, but most guys are nice and have a little more class than that.
You mentioned that you don't know what to say to him because you're not sure how he feels...
I would consider what I've written you today to help you decide how you want to handle this problem and any future problems you might have in figuring out what a guy is thinking.
Assume you ARE able to attract not just him but lots of guys - and as long as they're being active with you and not treating you exactly like one of their guy friends - STOP looking for the signs!
Be positively wrong some of the time because you'll find by doing that - it may not work perfect - but it's better than being negatively wrong most of the time.
Yeah that's kind of a confusing statement so I'll say it again:
Being POSITIVELY wrong some of the time is ALWAYS better than being negatively wrong most of the time.
Now... with all that in mind...
When IS it safe to assume a guy is interested or likes you?
The simple answer is... ALWAYS!
Trust if it's not true, it's going to be alright.
Believe you are more than capable of getting any man you desire to like you or to be interested in you.
In ALL the world but specifically for today, in dating, attraction, interest, like, and whatever...
You're not selling or trying to convince someone to like you back or be interested because that feels like a scheme to others. It's misleading and often is taken as all you're interested in is getting something from them.
You don't sell attraction or interest...
You're, in a way, selling YOURSELF.
If YOU believe it, many others are more likely to BUT if you don't believe it - how you would expect anyone else to believe it?
Learn to love yourself and what you have to offer and people WILL (buy) or love you too.
The reality of it all is:
Sure... Not everyone - not every guy is going to fall madly in love with you just because you believe and love yourself but you do NOT want every man in the world anyways, and dealing with billions of guys looking for a date from you because they "like" you is not something ANYONE could handle successfully. It would drive you mad.
So it really is better that way.
Sometimes you'll be wrong. Sometimes you'll be right.
BUT believing in yourself, knowing yourself, loving yourself unconditionally, not being obsessed with waiting for signals or hoping the signs a guy likes you, means one thing...
You WILL not only succeed BUT you will recover quickly when things don't go as planned or some dude isn't into you as you thought.
Because you'll believe there's another. Because you'll know what you're capable of. Because you'll trust in your ability as confident woman to stay the course.
Because you won't be distracted by mixed signals or false signs.
You're NEVER too young or too old to start believing in yourself and to learn to love yourself.
Hearts in Harmony - written by Guy Hendricks Ph.D designed this to very specifically show you how:
Give it your serious attention.
Stop looking for signs and signals from men to help you figure out if they like you or not.
Start ASSUMING you're good enough.
You must admit that learning to love yourself is much easier and more positively productive than "trying" to get someone else to feel something especially when they need to feel it all on their own anyway.
For more information on the program go here:
Thanks for your wonderful question. I do hope it has helped you and lots of other women too.