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Why Do Guys…?

Women Are Not Playthings To The Men Who Never Forget

in How Some Guys Think, Reading A Man’s Mind
Men hold on to their feelings for a long time. Guys never forget.

There’s a collection of women in my head with whom I’ve been intimate with in some way, shape, or form.

Sometimes thinking about one specifically can heighten my emotions. Sometimes not.

There’s a pattern which happens for me which “deems” me a guy. Not necessarily a man but definitely a guy. (If you know what I mean because a guy is just another male but a real man’s definition encapsulates maturity and strength in such a way, not many women can resist.)

I see.

I want or don’t want.

Attraction or what I find attractive is “beyond my control”.

Something I (sort of) knew but was explained to me in the very first book I read on how attraction works: Attraction Isn’t A Choice. (Yes, I know I’m not supposed to sell a book for guys to women but if you ask me, if you want to learn about men – read what they read about you. The rest, who don’t understand you or women in general, well they’re all just guessing anyways.)

The discovery of women started very early for me, between the ages of five and seven.

Within a short time I was totally and forever hooked. Although the future wasn’t being thought out, thinking back my “destiny” was certainly set with the opposite sex.

Forever single – forever wanting more – forever not willing to be kept, caught, or made to love someone I had little or no feelings towards.

I’ve always felt too aware of my surroundings.

Too aware of not being capable of feeling attraction to women who I didn’t find “attractive”.

Some will call me superficial. How I only care about a woman’s look or how hot she is.

They will try to make me feel bad for wanting beauty.

“The undeniable fact that when I say she’s the hottest women in the world, when I tell her how much she turns me on, when I let her know what she does to me, how she makes me feel, mind, body, and soul: I mean every word of it. It’s NOT a curse to NOT be capable of lying to a woman just to get laid.”

What Does It Really Mean To Only Want To Date Beautiful Women?

How there’s more to a woman than her shapely body and adorable face.

It’s obvious to me there is more to a woman than just how she looks. It’s never been the total basis for me wanting a relationship with her.

It was always HER. The whole of who she was and I can not recall at any time did I want a girlfriend who I despised as a woman.

There was never ANY intention to just “fuck” her because that’s all she was worth to me.

Remember I WAS a nice guy.

Manipulative in the “giving” sense.

Always upset and angry that the assholes got laid when I didn’t or couldn’t. How women would flock to the bastards and leave me alone… left to my own (said with the tone of voice of the late great Frank Zappa) “Devices.”

It didn’t help that what I lived with was the biggest asshole of them all – my brother – who never once had a woman problem.

Or did he?

He was essentially the troubled jerk who had his fair share of “hotter” women. Truthfully, he only got a few that I was into and so at least that helped me. Maybe more on that later. Maybe not.

The pattern of my “obsessions” were always the same.

See her. She had a glow about her. Something others couldn’t always see but was obvious to me. She was to be mine!

Attraction HAD to be there but the attraction wasn’t stuck – it grew in the next stages and eventually developed into a longing. Something more concrete than just her “look”.

I would become friends with her… usually. We’d hit it off. We’d click. Well… So I thought.

That was the easy part.

I could befriend ANY woman, any time, any place. They always liked me.

They were even drawn to me revealing facts and privacy that very few men were allowed to hear.

Little did I know that was actually a very bad thing for I’ve learned that sometimes, mostly, when a woman is NOT afraid to reveal the absolute truth of who she is to a guy… it usually means she’s NOT feeling attracted to him.

And that lucky dude was me.

Yet those connections I was making made me feel like I had to be with her and no one else. While she was making what she thought was a cool friend, I was secretly wanting more and the more she gave her open “heart” the deeper I would fall for her.

I became a “friends zone expert”. Still angry and depressed inside because I could NEVER, I mean NEVER be with the one I wanted.

Anything less felt bad.

Bearing something I didn’t feel to a woman I didn’t feel IT for was impossible for me so, while all the “rest” typical jerks and assholes fucked whatever, I abstained.

Still think I’m a bad guy?

Again, my pattern was always the same.

See her. Get to know her. Become friends with her. Nothing would ever happen sexually and I would go about trying to make her love me back be BEING the opposite of the guys she did want and wanted just for sex.

Of course since then I’ve learned a lot.

The reasons I failed were revealed to me in many different ways. I felt I knew part of the answer but it wasn’t enough to help me. It took a fw outside sources of reality, smarter men than me and it’s to those men I will be forever grateful.

That darkened period of my life was more than any guy should have to bear.

AND At the peak of myself I had no woman to share it with which can make you feel sorry for me but don’t because it was in those darkest moments was where I learned the most about myself and the world around me and most importantly….

How to survive alone and still find a way to be and feel happy despite it all.

Just so you know how deep this goes for guys like me, or who I was, these things are NEVER forgotten and even though it may feel this way to some women some of the time or even more…

Women are not just playthings to us because we bend or rise hard to attraction and sex.

We NEVER forget.

There’s a collection of women in my head with whom I’ve been intimate with in some way, shape, or form.

About the author: Peter White… Showing men and women ways to attract each other naturally by helping you to understand each other. Over ten years experience which has shown me how to see things clearly and get to the root cause of most dating and relationships problems. Hope you learn and enjoy your why do guys experience.

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2 comments… add one
  • MaryH

    This post almost brought me to tears; So sweet and beautiful actually;
    I’m similar; i have to fancy the man and also like who he is, & have some x factor or else i will not bother. I’d rather be a life long spinster than put up with a so-so relationship.
    Could it be a personality trait? I’ve certainly found the Myers-Briggs one very revealing & true to experience.
    When you say: “when a woman is NOT afraid to reveal the absolute truth of who she is to a guy… it usually means she’s NOT feeling attracted to him.”
    I can’t FULLY agree with you on this; i would never open up to a man unless i really respected, trusted, looked up to him. In order to do this; i would have concluded he was understanding, intelligent and compassionate too. I don’t reveal my truth of myself or my life that often, it’s rare that i find people i can truly be totally myself around or tell all my tales of woe to. I really don’t share. Definitely; all of the above is a huge factor when i’d be looking for love. If i’m opening up to a guy; you can be sure he has 80% of the qualities i’d be looking for as my boyfriend. Put it this way; i wouldn’t feel safe or comfortable with a man who i couldn’t be totally myself around and reveal my truth to.
    Saying that though; i would still need the guy to lead in the whole seduction stakes in a braver more forthright way than myself. Maybe if things were always on the friendly casual lighthearted terms, it could be hard to sort of introduce ‘romance’. ? Just a guess.
    Anyway; so if a man tells you he’s thinking about you or says he hopes your thinking about him…this is a very positive thing?
    Does my heart such good to know this. Thanks Pete; Really enjoyed this post.

    • Peter White

      Thanks for sharing Mary.

      The part you didn’t agree with is sort of time dependent. Meaning in the early stages it holds true. As a relationship or connection develops then of course she’ll open up more and more if and only if she’s attracted to him. But in the beginning – I just feel things are a little different. And of course it’s based on my experience with women in the early stages. It also might depend on “what” she’s opening up to him.

      Yes, it’s normally a positive thing if a man tells you he’s thinking about you or says he hopes you’re thinking about him. I couldn’t see it any other way. 🙂

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