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Why Do Guys…?

What Does A Mature Man Mean To You? Helping Men To Better Understand

What Does A Mature Man Mean To You? Helping Men To Better Understand post image

Let’s talk about the maturity of men and what it means to you.

Is it different than what a guy might believe?

Is it something you look for in a man or maybe something you assume a grown adult should possess? ( Until he proves otherwise. )

Does a mature man automatically give him the ability to attract you? Or does he need something else like leadership skills, social ability, the traits more commonly associated in the Alpha Male.

Here are my thoughts…

A mature man is secure in himself. He’s independent. Maybe not completely goal orientated but he does at least have some form of ambition in his life.

He’s easily respected. He takes responsibility for his actions.

AND he will consider giving up something for the greater cause of family, friends, country, or the human race as a whole.

But he’s also selfish in a way, isn’t he?

His lack of neediness might have you assuming he doesn’t NEED you at all.

Almost as if nothing bothers him at all.

When times seem desperate in a relationship it’s almost like he couldn’t care less to keep you around.

His calm cool collected manners might have you believing your emotions are not affecting him at all, thus making him seem emotionally greedy and selfish.

Borderline passive aggressive attitude igniting your anger to no end.

Ahhh the double edged sword of maturity…

The man who can cut through all the bullshit in between and capture your amazement when he gets it right.

Yet also the rock when you just want him to show his emotional side just once.

Like when you’re ready to rip your hair out or pound your fist against his chest because his “mature & masculine Ego” won’t allow him to open up… even for you!

The one woman he CLAIMS to love.

Do me a favor and think about all the men you’ve ever dated, slept with, dreamed about, fantasized over, and yes even masturbated over.

Was their maturity really a big factor in how you felt about him or was there something else you couldn’t quite “put your finger on.” ( Pun definitely intended.)

You might not think this has anything to do you unless you find yourself only hooking up with guys who seem to have missed growing up.

You might not think it has anything to do you unless you’re single, young, and only find yourself meeting college guys at bars and parties chugging beers with their friends until they puke on themselves.

You might not think maturity has any bearing on the type of men you’re attracted to unless you prefer to date older men who “know” how to treat a female the right way.

You might think I’m a little crazy because this is “Why Do Guys…?” and NOT “How to help you attract the total alpha package.”

And you know what… you might be right.

But I can be cocky bastard and I’m going to play the Mister Know-It-All role right now 🙂

I’m going to suggest this..

The type of man who you find yourself falling for who may have prompted you to search for an answer today, leaving your eyes fixated on my words this very minute…

Well it CAN and WILL have a huge impact on the answers you seek about practically every man who walks this lovely planet of ours.

Like why do guys act so immature around their friends but put on their “stern” face around you. A perfectly legitimate question, right?

Or why do guys “pretend” they got their shit together until you realize, after giving up six months or two years for… Don’t even have a clue who they really are or want to be.

While you’re left to think about it all…. you want to know why I decided to post this up today? You DO have every right to question anything I say or do. I make no reservations about that.

My guys also need to understand you and what being mature really means to you.


Is it actual enough alone to spark your attraction?

Is it only about your willingness to enter a relationship?

As in you’d be more likely to have casual sex with an immature man, but would NEVER give yourself entirely to him IF he lacked maturity.

Please take your time but I encourage you to answer some of these important questions men MUST know in order to understand you better and hopefully better communicate their real selves.

Why do guys is NOT just about the why for plain old facts. It’s about UNDERSTANDING EACH OTHER so we can better the COMMUNICATION skills between men and women.

Men and women communicate less clearly when their definitions are not shared… What is your definition of maturity.

What does being mature really mean to YOU and does it have the power to create attraction?

(You can read my email policies here. No spam ever! Your information is always private. )
About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
3 comments… add one
  • Jessica

    Hi Peter,
    I’m a female at the curious age of 24 where it seems very evident whether men my age are mature or immature. I cannot explain specifically why, but it seems that your explanation fits in line with what I’ve observed. The ones that appear immature seem to have much less genuine confidence from within and are still seeking external sources to validate their manliness (such as sleeping around or jumping from relationship to relationship), while at the same time appear depressed in a peculiar way because they don’t know exactly which direction they’re headed in life at the moment and feel a little lost. On the flip side, men who appear to be more mature seem to understand that we are at a volatile age and there is a lot changing in our lives, but as long as you do the best you can with what you have at the moment you’ll be ok. They also seem much more confident in who they are and in knowing what they know about themselves while understanding they’re still growing and embrace that.

    As for this creating attraction- for me, I am initially drawn to a man who seems mature from the jump simply because I know that I am still growing and feeling like I won’t have to babysit a man who’s dealing with personal issues makes me respect him more and respect is a big thing that attracts me to men. I am very strong willed and I don’t just respect anyone. Also, it is more masculine to me when a man doesn’t open up immediately and is more selective about who he shares his personal life with.

    However, once I get past that first stage of attraction where I’ve decided to actually spend some time getting to know him, I don’t need him to be entirely mature with me because I want him to know that he can be vulnerable to me and lean on me when he needs support. But, it is very important to me that his view on THE WORLD and his interpretation of events is mature. I think this is important to me mainly because if we have children, I want to be able to interpret incidents that occur in the child’s life in a mature way and I think that his reaction to the world is a reasonable litmus test for how he will handle events that will occur with our children.

    Not sure if I answered your question, but hope this helps some.

  • Jaylee

    I’m attracted to a man initially if he can demonstrate some level of maturity in the realm of having some general principles or values that he believes in and practices. I’ve read other dating advice writers reference female biological prerogatives as an influence. A man’s ability to provide a stable and safe environment to raise a healthy family is generally a subconscious priority. A woman’s acceptance of the degree of a man’s maturity varies, I think, in complement to the other qualities he possesses. Personally, I’m not one to hold high earning potential, material spoiling potential or even whether he is willing to be my lapdog as qualifiers for a good man. Also, he doesn’t have to be something he is not to please me or to impress my friends and family. I am not perfect, so I don’t expect him to bend over backwards and contort into some unnatural version of himself. Also, maturity doesn’t mean that he has to be a rigid stick in the mud either. If he is a work in progress, there’s nothing wrong with that–the point is that he is working toward being a better version of himself and if his pace is a fast or slow it doesn’t matter. The point is that he desires to move toward it. I also feel I should be doing the same because it seems you can improve your partnership and relationship if you’re both trying for a healthy common goal. A spiritual concept I heard once called types of common goals as being ‘similarly yoked.’ The visual is of two oxen toiling or working at a similar pace and direction.

    Of course some women have higher expectations which is not necessarily a bad thing. It all depends on what a man is willing to do to have that relationship. The main thing is to have a good sense of mutual respect. I need to respect a man for his values, his abilities, his emotional intelligence. All other quirks or eccentricities are negotiable or even icing on the cake!

    Having said that, it doesn’t mean I don’t have standards. Like I said, it depends on the other qualities he has. Also, with the shoe on the other foot, I’m conscious of efforts being put out on both sides. Hopefully more women are aware of give and take in relationships. It’s not that we’re looking for a work horse or prince to save us or magically make our lives a fairytale–just someone we can move alongside/work side-by-side with, enjoy being around and rely on when things get tough and his ability to roll with the punches helps. I think this kind of more simply describes what maturity means or translates into. At least to this gal.

    • Peter White

      Thanks for sharing Jaylee – you made some great points. I try to tell guys that women are not looking for perfection and what you wrote said it all, “general principles or values that he believes in and practices” AND “he is working toward being a better version of himself and if his pace is a fast or slow it doesn’t matter. The point is that he desires to move toward it.”

      It amazes why so many guys fail when, aside from how he communicates with women or how he communicates what you wrote is really all a guy needs to attract lots of women.

      Thanks again,


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