A man always wants to be reminded that he's missed physically, mentally, and emotionally from a woman he loves.
He wants to know that the special woman in his life is thinking about him.
He also wants know you're a part of his life and by telling him you miss him - you're giving him a certain proof or a guarantee that how you feel about him is real.
This of course applies to when you're in a relationship but also when you're casually dating him too. (Except in dating - the "I miss you" thing must be done in a slightly different way especially if you want something more with a guy.)
So why DOES a guy like to know he's missed?
It's a CLEAR sign of affection.
A direct acknowledgement that there has been an intimate bond formed between you and him.
A strong indication of your unwavering love.
It's EVIDENCE or PROOF that no matter how far apart you find yourselves - you're right there with him in your heart AND your mind too.
When you connect with a man emotionally, telling him you miss him brings him closer because you're reminding him how you feel in a way he can understand because he's feeling it too.
Men are generally known for being a little too protective of the woman they love the most. They're not too concerned with you as they are with other guys hitting on you or trying to steal you from them when they're not around.
When he knows without a doubt that you miss him through your words and actions (both are equally important) he feels safe and more confident you're not going to meet another man and leave him.
You're sending him a clear reminder that no matter what happens, no matter who TRIES to come between you and him - HE is always on your mind.
It's reassurance of faith and trust in the connection you have with each other.
Now what about your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband - does HE want to know or hear that you miss him?
Yes - they actually do.
Remember that you both invested lots of time, emotions and hopefully effort into your relationship and just because it failed or didn't work doesn't mean the connection is lost or the feelings are wiped out.
The feelings he had for you will stick around for a while.
This is NOT advice to tell your ex you miss him unless you plan on getting back together and you're not seeing other people... BUT...
When your ex knows that he's missed - just like you - it has a way of confirming that the time you spent together (the good and the bad moments) was not just a waste of his or your time.
EVERYONE wants a REAL confirmation they haven't just thrown away months or years of their life with someone who didn't feel the same way or who didn't feel the same in the failed relationship.
It doesn't always mean there's a chance of rekindling and starting over again - more needs to be in place and must happen first so keep that in mind.
(Many of you have asked me bout getting an ex back and since it doesn't necessarily fit or belong on this page AND I'm not an expert on that subject, I've linked up some articles and help at the bottom of post in the credit/footnotes section. There's certainly no shortage of information in the "getting your ex back" niche.)
A few more questions always arise when it comes to the whole missing you thing and I'd like to cover as much as possible.
How DO you tell a guy you miss him.
Men do listen (mostly) but actions speak louder than words to a guy if you're to get your point across to him clearly.
You'll want to communicate your feelings to him in a way he can understand... an ACTION must be related to it.
Here's an example from my personal experience:
I was dating a woman who wasn't very good at telling me how she felt which turned out to be great thing because she learned a technique which worked much better at communicating with men.
Rather than tell me she missed me while we were apart she grabbed a stuffed animal we found together and had me spray a ton of my unique cologne all over it. The smell lasted for months.
It was an ACTION men get because she was not just telling me but SHOWING me that she needed a way to feel like I was always around.
I got it instantly.
Here's this woman that missed me so much when we were apart that she needed a way to feel close. Something tangible as a reminder of our relationship and the connection we made together.
She never had to tell me she missed me because I knew it.
Sure it's a little cheesy but it worked.
You want to let a guy know how much you miss him - think ACTION, something he can relate it, PROVE it rather than just saying it all the time.
Sure you can send the occasional "Thinking of you..." or "Missing you..." text message, he'll get it but it's just not as powerful and it can easily lose its effect if you do it too much. It's not really solidifying the connection you have with an action or experience he won't ever forget.
(I'd LOVE to hear some of your ideas below if and when you come up with them so make sure you comment a few of them.)
To help you out more - take the list above about why guys like to know they're missed and build some action from it:
- He wants to know he's missed physically, mentally, and emotionally - that gives you three areas to work from.
- Let him know you're thinking about him in a way which reminds him of a past experience you shared when a connection was made.
- SHOW him how you're a part of his life no matter how much distance is between you and him.
- Don't just say "I miss you" - SHOW him some random affection in a message and he'll get it instantly that you DO miss him.
The difference between dating and relationships and how the missing stuff should be handled.
You might think you can tell a guy whenever you want that you miss him while you're in a relationship because how it's perceived will be generally a good thing.
This will also lead you to believe that if you're just dating a guy you must be careful about how it's said and how often it's said because it could lead to the opposite result. It could make you look desperate or discovering that you miss him more than he misses you - awkward situation to say the least.
Both are somewhat right but do it too much or too little in either situation could easily just lead to the same problem.
It really comes down to BALANCE - TIMING - EFFORT and the ACTION or WORDS you choose to take.
There is unfortunately no hard rules to follow here. Each situation must be addressed separately and handled case by case.
However HOW it's said or done can be calculated for better effect and to have it mean more.
This means any action or words you choose to take should (generally more for dating than in a relationship) leave a challenge too.
It should encourage or challenge him to miss you equally back because that WILL bring you closer together PLUS it sets up a situation where he feels more free to share his feelings on missing you too.
This should be used if you're casually dating a guy, in a close or long-distant relationship, up to flirting with a guy you haven't gone out with yet.
The effect is the same - a CHALLENGE along with a thought of sentiment or an open honest sharing of feelings.
Yes, I know - easier said than done.
What I'm saying is to make it easier on yourself. Don't get caught up in trying to figure out the difference if it's a dating thing or a relationship thing. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to always do and say the right thing which normally comes out in all the wrong ways anyways.
TRUST your intuition will guide you in the best direction and focus more on that WHAT and not the WHAT IF.
This will also take care of the important HOW to make a man miss you just as much or more than you miss him.
The topic of a man missing you or you missing him leads to several areas of discussion such as:
If a guy doesn't miss you when you're apart does that mean he doesn't have feelings for you?
That answer sometimes depends on the time and distance between you. You might be miss him in a week whereas he might not feel it for a couple or vice-versa.
BUT to be as forward and honest as I can - taken the time, distance, and the nature of the relationship into account - a man will only miss a woman which is equal to how strong his feelings are for her.
If he doesn't ever tell you that he misses you does that also mean he doesn't have feelings for you?
Men are not generally good vocal communicators so relying on this won't give you the real picture of how he feels about you.
However his ACTIONS will as long as you know how to read them and interpret them.
For example: Take two different men you're seeing closely but due to circumstances you can not be with each other for a month or so. This means no physical touch at all, just talking or messaging.
When you finally are able to get together one man squeezes you tight, kisses you and starts to immediately make plans to spend as much time together BUT he never says he misses you.
Another guy acts aloof. Gives you a lame hug and acts like he didn't miss you at all but showed up and is sort of into finally getting to see you again.
You might believe the second guy didn't miss you as much therefore doesn't have the same deep feelings as the first guy but that's not necessarily true.
He could be worried that you didn't miss him as much and is holding back.
He could be afraid that by admitting his deeper feelings to you and to himself that he'll miss you even more the next time you're apart. He doesn't feel ready for that to happen and is more concerned with being in a relationship where you don't see each other as much as he'd like to.
So you can see it's not all black and white. Whether a man admits or acts like he misses you is or not is not a guarantee one way or another of his feelings.
The problem gets more complicated when you go deeper.
Imagine two men who see the distance or time apart differently.
One man might miss you less because you can message each other everyday. He's not relying so much on real physical interactions to secure a relationship or a dating phase. He feels as long as you're in touch with each other you shouldn't miss each other at all or just a little.
Another guy might miss you despite lots of messages everyday because he relies more on the physical part to secure the connection. You'll hear him say often how much he misses you and will assume you feel the same way.
The point is: If he says it or not doesn't guarantee he misses you or not. There's not definitive all true answer.
A man can feel it for you yet never show or tell you that he's missing you.
BUT - as above in the opening sentence...
A man ALWAYS wants to know he's missed mentally, physically, and emotionally from a women he loves or has deep feelings and has made a real connection.
Making all this a very confusing subject.
Making it also a bigger problem when it comes to guys wanting to know but incapable or not willing to tell you the same.
AND now for the really big one...
Can you bring him closer by making him miss you just enough and can that be done without playing the hard-to-get game?
Yes, yes, and definitely YES!
Sure, absence can tear a relationship apart BUT it can also bring a man closer to wanting a relationship.
Strange analogy but since I love pizza so much I'll use it.
Give me pizza everyday and I'll enjoy it but I won't find the time or feelings to miss it. In fact I might take it for granted if I have it too much. I won't fully realize how much I love it until it's well outside of my reach.
Take it away and suddenly I WANT it even more. It becomes more special, rare, appreciated and makes me realize how much I actually DO love pizza.
The same things happen between a man and a woman.
We become complacent or accustomed to something and it tends to lose is specialty.
Take it away and the same thing happen: We appreciate the other more. We find ourselves taking full advantage of the precious few moments together AND it can make us realize just how much we are in love and therefore how much we miss having our partner around.
Here are a few articles on my "other" lesser known site which are just basics on how to get a guy to miss you the right way:
- How To Make Him Miss You Badly - from the makers of Why Men Pull Away.
- How to Make Him Miss You Like Crazy from the producers of Respark The Romance.
Both are great examples of amplifying his attraction towards you without having to play any mind games which in turn will have him missing you when you're not around.
I believe that about covers as much on the topic as I can get out. If there's more just let me know below and I'll update or add it when I can.
This is when if you liked what read or learned something to share it and sign up to the why do guys newsletter. I'll see you there.
Missing Your Ex - Him Missing You - Getting Ex Back:
You'll want to read this to help you figure out if getting him back is a possibility or advisable: Wait! Before You Try To Win Him Back, Mirabelle & My Last Two Breakups
The next ones are based on the Relationship Re-Write Method:
- The One Thing That Proves You’re Meant For Each Other
- Has He Decided To Not Give You A Chance? Your One Shot at Getting Back With Your Ex
- Do You Want Your Ex Back? Don’t Try To Convince Him – Trigger His Feelings
- When Your Ex Understands This – When He Sees This – Everything Changes
Photo credit: Inna Lesyk