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Why Do Guys…?

Do Men Like To Know You Miss Them?

in What Men Like To Know
Do Men Like To Know You Miss Them? post image

Oh yes they do. 🙂

But… there’s always one of these isn’t there? You get a quick answer that seems all good on the outside and then we lay on the cold hard facts about men missing women.

I’ll put this one right out there – If a man does NOT feel attracted to you he won’t care if you miss him.

He’ll probably shrug it off, or downplay it because one of man’s greatest fear is turning on a woman he is not into. You know those guys who won’t leave you alone? Always trying to talk to you, the ones who creep you out the most, well us men feel the same way when we’ve “accidentally led a woman on.”

And now the WARNING:

It’s need to be genuine for a man to believe you actually do miss him. (I suppose for this to work. 😉 )

If you say it all the time it loses its impact.

If you don’t back it up by making an effort to see him, the never-ending miss cycle will push him away because he will not trust your sincerity. Men NEED to trust you more than you might have ever been led to believe before.

Probably because you’ve only heard women talk about how they don’t truth their man. Or they want a guy they can trust.

When a man opens up to you physically and even slightly emotionally they are trusting you with information and emotions which could effectively make him feel or be seen less than a man. If have you the power to emasculate him, tear down his ego, or “air out his dirty laundry” to the world his trust in you must be secure.

=>ALL men need to feel safe. Maybe not physically but definitely emotionally.

Part of the reason why I feel we like to know you miss us is because you’re assuring us that special trust.

Imagine a man saying or thinking this and you’ll see how important it is to a guy to hear how much you miss him…

“I have to let you go for a while. We’ll be apart for a time. You’re carrying my heart and soul with you. You know my secrets well. Please remind me from time to time you’re still carrying around my precious heart and no one will ever be allowed to take it from you.”

Next let’s consider the words, “Baby… I’ve missed you so much.” and what real effect it has on him.

The Mushy Stuff:

I want a woman in my life to miss me because it tells me she is thinking about me. I’m a part of her life. Not that she couldn’t function without me but the connection we’ve made enhances her happiness – and that also makes me happy.

The Sexual Piece:

Every man at some point in his life knows when a woman he is in a relationship with , (under certain circumstances) uses those words… it almost always is followed by a hug, a few kisses, maybe some more kisses, and then yes, incredible sex!

The Connection:

Men have a part inside them which needs to be fully connected to the woman he is in love with and to satisfy the sincerity of that connection, must experience an action related to it. That simply means you can tell him until you’re blue in the face how much you miss him but if you don’t back it up, he won’t “feel” the connection.

I committed to a girl once who lived several hours away. She struggled with revealing her feeling through words. But one day she had me spray a stuffed animal, I’m sorry drown that little doggy in my cologne so she could smell me anytime she wanted.

It was more than just a romantic gesture but an action which gave me no doubt she felt connected to me. And how much she missed me.

Now instead of leaving it there she took it one step further and bought a small comfy pillow which she sprayed her perfume on it. Knowing she wanted me to be able to smell her whenever I missed her increased the strength of our connection.

I could go a little deeper here, depending on your age group, the type of guy you’re dealing with, the obsessive compulsive aspects, the neediness and security issues, and so on… but let’s keep it as simple as possible.

*Men – who feel attracted to you, or have made a physical and emotional connection with you, or who are in a long-term relationship with you – like (and love) to hear how much he is missed.

It’s a sign of affection. A clear acknowledgement that there has been an intimate bond formed. An indication of your love.

A real support that no matter how far apart you find yourselves – you will always hold his secrets in with absolute trust.

And as always with men – showing him how much you miss is more effective than just saying it once in a while.

About the author: Honest, upfront, and an ability to see past the hidden layers is my intended style at why do guys. My goal is to un-complicate men and steer you away from the guys who will only hurt you. My hope is that you learn something, anything, and my writing style is at least a little easy to understand… Thank you, Peter White

You can visit my about page here. Stay in touch and learn about men by joining my newsletter below. Join other women discuss men by joining the new Why Do Guys Facebook Group. You can also Like or follow the Facebook Fan Page. And lastly Join me on Twitter. Current writer and owner of: DiaLteG TM | The Approach | Why Do Chics…? and The Nice Guy Approach. Yes, I’m a VERY busy guy.

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    90 comments… add one
    • It’s a nice piece and I have thoroughly enjoyed reading it Peter. It has been a while since I got involved with someone and now that I am, (just about two months now) I find myself wondering if I am doing it right. Sometimes I think that staying away from relationships as a very withdrawn personality makes me feel uncertain about how to handle the complexities of emotions that come with being in a relationship.
      But so far it’s been going well. I find in Him the kind of attachment I had looked forward to seeing in a guy but keep asking myself is he that into me?
      Communication between us has been great so far…but there are times I just kind of have apprehensions may be because I have not heard “the three words” from him yet.

    • Jaymi

      Ok, well that’s great and all and i have not problem expressing myself when I miss someone. The problem is there are some men who won’t say it, no matter what. You know they do….they text three, four times a day, call each night, etc…but when you say you miss them over text, some joke is cracked, or some response without actually saying it back. What’s that all about?

      • Peter White

        Ahhh Jaymi, great point.

        I won’t get too deep here but I’m sure there are lots of different reasons why guys act this way.

        1. Men are afraid of showing too much real emotion with women.
        2. Since he’s texting or talking to you so much, he quite honestly, doesn’t feel far enough away from you to miss you.
        3. Sometimes guys believe the minute they show this much attention to a woman, she’ll lose the attraction for him.

        At some point you must understand that when a guy as acting this AND he’s in constant contact with you by any means possible – it’s almost always because he’s afraid he’s going to miss you. He might even be worried you’ll find someone else.

        I know, it’s a strange way of thinking about it but it just shows how much he does care when he’s afraid he’s going to miss you.


    • Ann

      You are right..
      I feel that too… Its been a while i never said miss him even thought we are seeing each other everyday, someday i tell him that i miss him.. He just froze and smile.. I dont know what thats mean… Is it good or he just dont trust me thar ido really miss him..

      I miss him not because miss mean i never seen him for while.. I miss him because i miss how we used to do… Everything.. Idont know how to put in words but when i told him “i miss you” just my body and soul go with it fullest and i cry at night that im afraid he wont feel the same…

      I knew he make time to me… But im quite worry he doin it because he pitied me, or just feel takong responsible tome after he said he love me…. But actions tells everything… I feel he not attracted to me anymore… And im theone who missed him maybe…

    • fhel

      nice one peter thanks!
      May i ask you.
      this guy keep on asking me if i miss him.
      So i told him i dont miss him,then i said i will tell him next time if i miss him. hahahahaha
      and then one night he said to me, “dont fall inlove with me” and then he laughed.
      What does he mean. So i said “who told you i will fall for you” and then he said “Okay then not!”
      we just laughed. but deep inside i felt something like duh! I think im starting to like him! So starting from now on i’m not going to continue what i feel. We’re friends by the way.
      What can you say about this Peter? Thanks!

      • Peter White

        You’re welcome!

        He was flirting with you (sort of way).

        He was trying to gauge a reaction from you to see if you actually are feeling something for him.

        This depends on the guy. If he’s normally good or confident with women he’ll use it to flirt with you. To misdirect you. To get you thinking about him and/or prove to you how confident he really is around women.

        Other guys who (may not be good with women) tend to use it to as I stated above, to notice your reaction or get you to admit you have feelings for them. Since you’re already friends I’m assuming it’s most likely this one. He wants to know how you “really” feel about him.

        That’s what I have to say about it.


    • May

      Okay, so I met this guy on a dating site and we connected and we met for coffee, connected in person and went out again the next day. I jokingly told him the first time we met that if he didn’t leave then he wouldn’t miss me (we had already made plans to meet again). Now he won’t stop asking me if I miss him and I don’t know what to do, we have known each other barely a week. I don’t know if he is continuing the joke or actually asking and I don’t know how to approach it to ask and I may have accidently led him on by going along with it the firsy time he asked me. Any ideas?

      • Peter White

        Hey May,

        Chances are that yes, he’s continuing the joke. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. After all you started it. 🙂

        If it continues then it might become apparent that just doesn’t “get it”. You could just laugh it off until he gets the picture. Eventually the “joke” should run its course unless he’s really off his rocker.

        When a guy takes flirting too seriously it’s not usually a good sign but can be dealt with by simply not responding to it. Again, laugh it off a little but don’t go into the subject any further.

        My guess is, since you agreed to date him, and agreed to a second one, that you are interested in him. The “leading him on” thing is already past. Right?

        Hope he quickly gets the points and moves on to more advanced flirting on his own and spares you the predictable thing. :0

        All the best,

      • Peter White

        I’d say he’s doing both May. He’s continuing the joke AND he’s trying to see if you like him enough to miss him. Chances are he’s not good at coming up with this stuff on his own so he followed your lead.

        I wouldn’t say you led him on, that was his thing and not yours. It’s obvious to me what you were doing but lots of guys just don’t get it.


    • Casey

      My ex and I have been on and off with communication for many years. We’re both in relationships but I miss him so much it hurts. So my question: do men like hearing from an ex that she misses him, even if he is in a fulfilling relationship?

    • J

      I met this man at a conference in ethiopia and we just bonded. We had one night together. Back home, we kept texting, calling and skyping each other for months. We laughed and worked together remotely for a while. He lives in nigeria and i in south Africa. Not exactly easy to fly every weekend! One day i told him i wanted more. He said he was soul searching, couldnt commit because of the distance … we still talk over the phone like if nothing happened. Not as often. I miss him so much. I want to tell him. Should i?

    • Tracy

      I met this guy at a wedding friends of the Bride and groom like my self. He persued me mainly for sex i stayed with him ya mda yada for after he gave me a tshirt to wear made me take it home so He had and excuse to see me again and wouldnt let me get away with not giving up my phone number. I was flattered. He just got out of a 6 year rela and I a year engagement. So neither one of us was looking for a relationship. A month or so goes by we have talked everyday had a couple misunderstandings and got through fin, i began to feel lead on, leading me on was his attempt to simply respect me. I walked away as I was no longer comfortable with him sleeping with others tho he said he wasnt but still would like to reserve the right to. He claimed we werent dating which I found confusing. And when i clarified he said he wasn’t ready for comittment. And i understand. And its fine np but why give me a tooth brush at your house and introduce me to your dad and all your friends who he clearly bragged about me too. Fassforward another month we talk every few days maybe max 4 days and therefore kept in touch. He has recently shown a greater interest in me and I think its due to building trust. He is well aware I am not interested in sharing anyone and I don’t sleep around. Despite our fling. Recently I told him I missed him and hoped he was having a great day. Which is the most I have shared with him emotionally since walking away before. He responded with a kiss emoji and that i am welcome at his place anytime when i have free time. He also wrote on my fb for the first time saying he would join me for a new show I was watching that he has seen but would watch again if i ever wanted company. He has never really done that publically before. He knows where I stand. So could he be coming around or is he going to try and just see if I have changed my mind about sleeping together… what is something kind I can say if he tried to make a move if I do cgeck out his new place. Also he made comments about where I found my new appartment in regards to it being a bit far away…like far away from what? Eveyone i live and my work are close by. So he means him…? My two cents is…i think he thiught he found someine special in me but his friends I feel wanted him to remain single thwy seemed to block him a bit…he has a tendency to listen blindly to them it seems and they him. In regards to women. Since he moved he hasnt been as close to his best friend due to distance…i have been wrong before so what do you think?? Lol

    • Noelle

      The more I read these sites the more I know they are just a waste of time.

      Bottom line: Every human wants to be loved. Men and Women are humans. Mind blown.

    • Amy Bee

      I stopped reading when you used “immaculate” instead of “emasculate”. Hope being corrected by a woman didn’t take away from your stereotypical male ego.

      • Peter White

        It’s going to take much more than that to offend me despite your obvious prejudgment of my “stereotypical” male ego.

        Who doesn’t like “free” editing. 😀 Right?

        Tell you what, when you start your blog or point me to the hundreds or thousands of pages you’ve written, and point out all the hard work you’ve done (aside from leaving a four second comment only to judge a man quickly which only makes me (pre) judge you as (probably) just hating guys :p .. I will happily repay you one edit which will make us even.


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