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Why Do Guys…?

How Should You Respond When A Guy Sends You A Facebook Birthday Wish

in Quick Guy Question and Answers, Signals
Men don’t always get the hints and need over the top responses to understand how you really feel.


well i wanted a guys point of view on this, please tell me what does this mean?

There was a guy with whom i chatted once on fb, and then we didnt chat for like 3 weeks… and it was my birthday 2 days back so he wished me.his wish was like he wasnt expecting a response or like he was just expecting a simple “thank u”

but i said thank u and i asked him how he was doing. But he didnt respond to my text. i felt bad that why would he do that while nothing has happened. I saw him near my home as he lives near my place and he was just looking at me like nothing happened. Is he doing it purposely?

He is not busy, he got the text and he wud reply but chose not to because of i dont knw wht reason. But he looks at me. Why does he look when he didnt respond to my text. doesnt he want to talk. Or he looks at me for fun.

Please help me with your views



Hello Jasmine,

First – for now – forget the stares – it’s what “some” of us do and will only confuse your situation. Men stare because they like what they see.

Secondly. Some guys have an idea in their head to wait a certain amount of time to reply. This “could” be the case. Something you can read more about here Why A Guy Might Play Hard To Get

If he’s doing that then, it only means he’s interested in you.

Next up – when it comes to Facebook some men are not that affluent with it and wish women happy birthday just because it popped up. Like some knee-jerk reaction.

Although this is rare it does happen and it would explain why he chose not to answer back.

Another reason is how you responded to his wish…

Asking a guy you haven’t heard from in a while, “How are you doing?” says to some men that they’re not really that important to you.

This could easily be the case here.

You talk for a short time and the contact stops. He either loses interest or you do, or neither one of you do anything to engage further and the contact stops abruptly.

Whatever happened is beyond me but IF HE believed you were not that interested in him in the first place, then he might avoid contact until he’s given a reason to do it. Such as your birthday.

If he didn’t get some kind of over-the-top signal that you were interested than he might sneak away and avoid the conversation after.

( Again based on the fact he was interested in the first place because if he wasn’t, none of this may apply. )

A few “over-the-top” signals which tells a guy you’re interested in him are:

“Thank you – where have you been?”

“Well well the mystery man speaks again – Hello!!! and thank you. :)

Granted there are many more ways and it’s not always your fault. Meaning some guys just don’t get it and I’d hate to fault them for it entirely.

Keep in mind lots of men will do anything to avoid becoming friends with women they actually like AND if they feel like that’s all they’re getting – you can expect them to either lose interest and not contact you back or pretend to not care.

So as a future warning or advise on something like this…

If a guy senses you’re not really that interested because he’s looking for a “different” response from you and doesn’t get it, something which hints how you feel about him, as sad as it sounds… you might not get much of a response if any at all.


If I’m able to look at this more subjectively, or from what’s between my legs :) or basically here’s is what a guy might be thinking at this point:

“I talked to this girl on Facebook. She seemed cool and all but we only had one conversation.

But then she didn’t bother to contact me again….

I realized, after checking her out a few times that her birthday was coming up and decided to wish her a happy one. You know just in case she forgot about me or something and she acted like she didn’t even care. Said thank you and asked how I was doing…

I guess she’s not interested so rather than just end up with another Facebook friend… or make her believe I don’t have a life… Maybe I’ll wait before I get back to her. Or maybe I won’t bother anymore… :(

Jasmine – your situation also depends a lot on your first interaction and how he took it – Did he want something more? How you two began talking? What kind of conversation or chat you first had? How it ended.

And as always of course – How good is he with understanding women and how confident he is with women in general which is something I always refer to.

I do hope I haven’t confused you even more.

I understand how many women come here asking “why guys stare” and I do stand by my beliefs that men stare at women they find attractive… period.

After that a lot of what he does after is based on what type of guy he is and how good he is at reading women or like in my case, assuming you’re ALL attracted to me until you give me reason to believe otherwise. šŸ˜€

Thanks for writing in Jasmine and if you have any follow-up questions I’ll do my best to respond to them below,

All the best,


P.s. Happy Late Birthday šŸ˜€

Peter White - Why Do Guy...?

Peter White. Thanks for stopping by and listening to a male’s point view. You can stay in touch by – *receiving my newsletter, *friending my Facebook page here. – Here is where a teach men about you *DiaLteG – and this where I get to talk about meeting and approaching the opposite sex – *The Approach.

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11 comments… add one

  • jasmine

    thank you peter :)
    i read what you said…but i if he liked me he wud reply to my text and he could chat with me.But instead he ignored it and it seems like he doesnt want to talk to me.
    If he wud like me he wud chat with me.Because i asked him how he was doing because i wanted to talk to him…coz i like him.
    By ignoring my text it just makes me hate him for ignoring me.
    And why does he expect me to tell him something about liking him.Ignoring the message just made me think he is not interested at all.And i am avoiding eye contact with him which he noticed,but still didnt respond to my text.

    • Peter White

      You’re welcome Jasmine.

      And no – just because a guy likes you does NOT mean you would reply to your text and as I stated above, just asking a guy how’s he doing is not always enough for him to respond. That’s something we ALL use in our everyday life even to people we don’t even know. It must be personal – fun – and make him feel like you’re asking him and not just some random person…

      That is if you want to increase the chance of a response.

      You can say “hate” all you want but what I hear is anger and frustration which is actually increasing your attraction to him… otherwise you wouldn’t even care.


      He’s leaving you with all this mystery and it’s driving your crazy. At this point it doesn’t matter if he’s doing it on purpose or not because it appears to be working.

      And now you can’t get him out of your head.

      If you must – try again – but this time make sure you give him a “fun” reason to respond. Don’t confront him on the issue. Don’t even mention it.

      Just start again but playfully – wish HIM a happy birthday even though I know it’s not. Keep it amusing and personal and if he still doesn’t respond – it might be time to move on.

      Hope that helps quiet your mind a little,


  • jasmine

    he could atleast say he was doing good.his no response looks like he is rude and after that when looks at me it seems like he wants to see my reaction or he is looking at me for eye candy only.He does nt want to communicate.
    he could take things further by chatting .i really wonder what is going on in his mind.

    • He could at least do anything but he’s not.

      If being rude is his aim or an accidental thing on his part, or even if he has an entirely different reason for not getting back to you, then yes, he does not want to communicate.

      You can’t let thing like that get to you.

      Lots of people in everyone lives want nothing to do with us but taking it personal, or taking it too far, normally solves nothing unless there is a consistent non-response from everyone. ( Meaning we could be socially missing something we’re not aware of. )

      Wonder no more. Sometimes it’s just best to let it go.


  • jasmine

    Hey Peter,
    maybe he has a girlfriend…..so he doesnt want to give me wrong expectations by chatting with me.but he looks because he can look.
    He is strange….i really dont know what is in his mind
    please help

    • Maybe he has a boyfriend. :) You just don’t know and driving yourself crazy over it or trying to read someone’s private thoughts is again, not always recommend.

  • jasmine

    He looks at me like he wants to say something, like he is expecting me to say something.His look is not just staring…i can feel like he is expecting me to say something.If i look at him….he also looks when i turn away he turns away.He just wants to make eye contact.
    And yeah…. He is not in my friend list.we toked without adding each other on fb.None of us sent a request to each other.He saw my birthdate as its public…
    Please help…waiting for ur response

  • jane

    hello peter
    please help me urgently.
    Will b grateful for ur response..
    A guy wished me on valentine just saying ‘hvd’and a smile.why hvd not happy valentin day.
    Please respond urgently

    • Peter White

      PLease Jane, I only have so many hours in my day. “Urgently” doesn’t work for me.

      Now truthfully, his wish was not creative and showed a lack of real caring, almost like he sent that blanket message to everyone. Even if it did mean a little something, I see no reason why it would mean something more than that.

  • christine

    hey peter
    i wanted to know abt something…….
    A guy who i dont know..he ws jus a stranger……i saw him for the frst time, and he also saw me the first timee….i ws passing by him…..he was looking at me and he had a smile on his face.It was a decent smile……not like a dirty smile.and when i saw him again he makes eye contact.Why ws he smiling?Do guys do tht?Why do they smile to themselves when they dont know u?
    Please let me know…..i need your view

  • christine

    hey peter……..plese respond my question.
    I relly need ur answer

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