Here's a trick question for you and the answer will reveal a man's mind like you've never seen before BUT be careful because information like this is DANGEROUS if you don't know how to use it correctly.
Imagine two guys and you're right - BOTH try way too hard.
The Creepy Guy.
Overly confident. Uses weird inappropriate sexual innuendos all the time. He'll do anything to get close to you including (but not limited to) accidental bumps, making sure he's always in your way, and handing you anything he can grab just to touch your hand in that, well, creepy kind of way.
He tries too hard because it actually works for HIM once in a while.
He got "recognized" early on as being THAT guy and may even strive to uphold his image even around those who have not met him... Just in case.
(By the way - if you've ever wanted to send a message to guys who creep you - NOW is your chance at my "man" site: 9 Questions Reveals Why You’re A Nice Guy & Women Feel Like You’re A Creep) Before you get too excited I actually show guys how what they're doing may not seem creepy to them but it's how you are perceiving it plus how they can stop doing it. Check it out when you're done with today's post or SEND it to a GUY FRIEND who might need it.)
The Pathetic Guy.
He doesn't mean any harm. He doesn't even know he's doing it like I reveal in the post above. He just doesn't GET it or women in general. He's a type two which is outlined on my main page.
The pathetic guy tries too hard because he lacks a self-confidence in not only who he is, but also any real knowledge of what being masculine means. Among many other man-issues he so clearly has.
He doesn't have a move which worked before but he believes, or binds himself to his beliefs, that sometimes being nice means losing.
Call it a personal chivalry to himself or whatever, he'll stick with it and rely on it - to make himself feel better.
He generally plays the waiting game hoping you'll make the first move but you know what he's doing. You can spot him a mile away.
His TRYING is typically doing anything and everything he can do to PROVE himself to be worthy of you and he's ALWAYS trying to convince you one way or another to feel something for him.
Here's the trick question:
Out of those two guys - Which one is a true "try-hard" AND which one tries HARDER - If it was a contest, who would win?
If you have you answer - keep it close OR before you finish reading this post - leave your gut answer in the comment area.
This is where it gets real interesting.
Now I understand you probably couldn't care less to learn about them and you don't plan on dating either one anyways AND if you ever found yourself with one of them - you learned quickly and moved on before things got real ugly.
You must also understand I'm not here to single them out or put them down. I WAS the pathetic guy for a while and in a few drunken regretful moments also dabbled in being a full out creep.
The point here is to teach you about MEN and going down this road is important because, as you'll soon see, there's a HIDDEN type who actually tries the hardest and you won't even know it's happening.
This third SUB-TYPE is the REAL ANSWER to the question above.
Why should you know this stuff?
Good question and I promise I'll answer that real soon but first...
It's time for you to experience being inside a man's mind.
You're about to read HOW a man thinks - his deepest thoughts and how the internal struggle of his fears all come into play.
The third SUB-TYPE who wins the "try hard" contest is below.
What you're about to read is his ACTUAL thought process in a typical day when there's a woman around he's feeling attracted to.
"Woah look at her! She's hot. Wow and a perfect ass. Shit, I can't stop staring at her butt. Wait! She's turning to look me. She smiled...did she catch me...I wonder what it's like to have a girlfriend like that?Oh...here it comes. Here's comes "Johnny." Bet she likes him. Now two more guys are talking to her. I bet she could have all of them if she wanted.
And yep, of COURSE she's flirting with "Johnny." She's playing right into his act. Why do Chics fall so easily for the one guy who is the obvious player.
But look at her...damn!
She's looking at me again...WHY!!! After all, she's flirting with every guy. They all want her. Why would she want anything to do with me?
(...I wonder what she feels like. The shape of her body. They eyes looking back at me...)
Here she comes...yes! No. What do I do? I know I'll play it all cool.
Ahhh she likes it. I think she's hitting on me. I'm NOT going to flirt back like those other guys. They're pathetic and creepy. I'm going pretend I don't want her at all. She'll like that.
But here comes the other guys. Now they want to talk to me about her. Discussing every part of her body and what they would to her, what I know one of them will get to do. Probably not me. I'll just listen to them talk.
That way I won't be one of them...she'll like that even though she's not here to even see it. Then again - what's the point anyways.
Finally - We have some alone time. Just me and her. I can finally show her how I'm better. How I won't objectify her body. How I can like her for who she is and not just for her body. I'm not going to let THIS one slip away.
But I have to act fast. I don't want "Johnny's Seconds."
I CAN'T BELIEVE I just thought that. I called her freaking "seconds." Now I FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!
I know... I'll make it up to her by acting extra nice. I'll do something for her. I learn everything I can about her. That way I'll know exactly what she's looking for and what he wants.
Those other guys don't know a thing about her and here I am - learning about her dreams and aspirations. Haha! They're clueless. I'm definitely in.
(Several months or weeks later)
I can not believe how close we've gotten. This is awesome. She actually comes to me now. She tells me everything...Excuse me...You did WHAT? You slept with Johnny!!!!
I'm sorry. I know he's bad. I knew he was a player. Oh but he's not...he's really a nice guy. He cares about you?
I don't know why he does those things...WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!! YOU FREAKING WON'T DATE ME?
Oh he's only affectionate when you're alone? BUT YOU WON'T EVEN TOUCH ME? I WOULDN'T LET YOU GO FOR ANYTHING.
You're only looking for a good guy but you always end up with the jerks who don't seem to love you back as much?
But I love you. Be my girlfriend. Please. You know how I feel 'bout you. No one knows you better than me? I want more than just a friendship. You're incredible. I want you. I'll treat you like you deserve to be treated. I haven't slept with a thousand girls.
I don't enjoy making you cry...
I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!!!
Makes you really think - doesn't it?
Who would've imagined the complexity and inner dialogue being so descriptive and full of FEELING... from a guy!
There you have it... this last type - the ones who actual DO try hardest are also the BEST at something else...
Hiding from you that they're actually TRYING!
Time for another question and this is not a trick one so don't be afraid to answer with all your heart.
Which of those three guys do you think would or could become the best guy for you to date, be your boyfriend, or to even marry one day in the future?
Obviously it's not the creep. You could only put up with pathetic for so long even if you were to break down and give him a chance.
This last option is without a doubt - the best. The one who is the best at hiding himself and his attraction for you and the clear winner of trying too hard by default.
(Sorry we're not getting into "Johnny" just yet because he's the bad boy and falls into the type one category. )
Now I'm NOT suggesting he's the guy you must search for or he's the right guy for you.
Not at all.
What I am saying is that the other types are CLEAR (sort of see through) and despite the inner-working of their minds and how they came to be who they are - you can see what's going on and getting inside their minds is not at all helpful in finding a better guy for you.
The one who is hiding it all is something different entirely.
Get inside his mind and you'll reveal so much about men it becomes dangerous information to have IF you don't know how to use it correctly.
Today's inside look into a guy's mind is a DANGEROUS one.
It can be quite revealing and even a little scary when you're shown the actual thoughts that go on inside a man's mind as it relates to you.
From a man's perspective, my own and the men who think it all out like this - it can become so emasculating, a man is apt to retreat to his own thoughts and never reveal them to anyone.
Hence the quietness you might experience from him at times.
Self-Promo ALERT: If you're getting a lot of quietness from a guy in your life or you keep getting close to men who won't open up to you, my book reveals everything about men like that and of course:
Some will pretend it doesn't happen.
Some will act out based on it.
Some will go so deep that they rarely see a way out.
But that's not the dangerous part. Maybe for him it is, but not for you.
THIS is why it's so dangerous to hear these things.
Going inside a man's mind might have you believe that you can now connect with him better and that's true - BUT you'll only connect with his mind - and if you want to make a great friend, someone to confide with - there you go.
Here's a quick explanation of how NOT to connect with a guy written by me and explained in full on HOW to do it:
As in the case above they became friends and that's not what he wanted. What if the roles were reversed - THEN you can see how important all this is to get right.
To truly connect with a man on an INTIMATE level a few things must be in place.
He must be made to feel open enough with you to share them in a different way.
That man above held back for his own reasons - other guys will too and some of those other guy you'll find yourself falling for yet unable to open up - especially if you're only trying to get inside his mind.
You must open him up by sharing your feelings too - the right way. The attractive way.
The woman above shared all her feelings to a guy she felt nothing for but if she did it that way to a guy she DID want, I guarantee she would've pushed him far away. Something you can easily see as you're looking from the outside in.
You don't tell a guy you want how you slept with another guy who may or may not be his buddy, right?
That's the obvious stuff.
What's more harmful is all the sharing you might be doing and not realizing it (for one reason because you're on the inside) which ends up having the same effect on a guy.
You might also be sharing things the WRONG way which is equally as harmful.
So if you've been sharing away, clear about your needs to a guy, giving it all away, being what you feel is open and honest AND yet you still find yourself pushing what seems to be right guy away - it's because you're not doing in a way which brings him closer.
It's not your fault.
It feels right, doesn't it. It "should" be right.
Where's all the fairness here?
You should be able to be open to a guy without having to worry about scaring him away. Well we would hope it work that way but it just doesn't and getting caught up in all the "should" of it all is not the solution. Questioning that won't bring you any closer to the answer.
The problem is that you're sharing it all from YOUR female perspective and not according to what attracts a male.
If you want to know EXACTLY how it's done then pick this up because you there are more ways to do it wrong than there is to getting it right:
Rori gives you step-by-step instructions into his heart by showing how to connect with him - there - and not through his mind, body, or soul.
She shows you how to do it in a way which allows you to open and express who you really are what you really want.
The link above will give you all the information you need. It you want some free advice from the creator you can sign up to Rori Raye's Newsletter right here.
You can also sign up below and read a little on how it's done and the many ways you can screw it up and push a man away in my book, "Understanding Men Made Simple - There Are Only Two Types Of Guys" at no charge to you.
- 9 Questions Reveals Why You’re A Nice Guy & Women Feel Like You’re A Creep - Article written by me, Peter White, and is located at my men only site called DiaLteG TM.
- About Peter White - Name says it all - learn about your wonderful and really cool host.
- The Right & Wrong Ways To Try and Connect With A Man - Preface to Rori Raye's concepts of how to connect with a man the right way.
- Have The Relationship You Want - Info on book written by Rori.
- Rori Raye's Free Newsletter sign up page.
- Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings - Please pick up my new book - information and pricing.