Here's a trick question for you and the answer will reveal a man's mind like you've never seen before BUT be careful because information like this is DANGEROUS if you don't know how to use it correctly.
Imagine two types of guys and you're right - BOTH try way too hard.
The Creepy Guy.
Overly confident. Uses weird inappropriate sexual innuendos all the time. He'll do anything to get close to you including (but not limited to) accidental bumps, making sure he's always in your way, and handing you anything he can grab just to touch your hand in that, well, creepy kind of way.
He tries too hard because it actually works for HIM once in a while.
He got "recognized" early on as being THAT guy and may even strive to uphold his image even around those who have not met him... Just in case.
(By the way - if you've ever wanted to send a message to guys who creep you - NOW is your chance at my "man" site: 9 Questions Reveals Why You’re A Nice Guy & Women Feel Like You’re A Creep) Before you get too excited I actually show guys how what they're doing may not seem creepy to them but it's how you are perceiving it plus how they can stop doing it. Check it out when you're done with today's post or SEND it to a FRIEND who might need it.)
The Pathetic Guy.
He doesn't mean any harm. He doesn't even know he's doing it like I reveal in the post above. He just doesn't GET it or women in general. He's a type two which is outlined on my main page.
The pathetic guy tries too hard because he lacks a self-confidence in not only who he is, but also any real knowledge of what being masculine means. Among many other man-issues he so clearly has.
He doesn't have a move which worked before but he believes, or binds himself to his beliefs, that sometimes being nice means losing.
Call it a personal chivalry to himself or whatever, he'll stick with it and rely on it - to make himself feel better.
He generally plays the waiting game hoping you'll make the first move but you know what he's doing. You can spot him a mile away.
His TRYING is typically doing anything and everything he can do to PROVE himself to be worthy of you and he's ALWAYS trying to convince you one way or another to feel something for him.
Here's the trick question:
Out of those two guys - Which one is a true "try-hard" AND which one tries HARDER - If it was a contest, who would win?
If you have you answer - keep it close OR before you finish reading this post - leave your gut answer in the comment area.
This is where it gets real interesting.
Now I understand you probably couldn't care less to learn about two types of guys you don't plan on dating anyways AND if you ever found yourself with one of them - you learned quickly and moved on before things got really ugly.
You must also understand I'm not here to single them out or put them down. I WAS the pathetic guy for a while and in a few drunken regretful moments also dabbled in being a full out creep.
The point here is to teach you about MEN and going down this road is important because, as you'll soon see, there's a HIDDEN type who actually tries the hardest and you won't even know it's happening.
This third SUB-TYPE is the REAL ANSWER to the question above.
Why should you know this stuff?
Good question and I promise I'll answer that real soon but first...
It's time for you to experience being inside a man's mind.
You're about to read HOW a man thinks - his deepest thoughts and how the internal struggle of his fears all come into play.
The third SUB-TYPE who wins the "try hard" contest is below.
What you're about to read is his ACTUAL thought process in a typical day when there's a woman around he's feeling attracted to.
"Woah look at her! She's hot. Wow and a perfect ass. Shit, I can't stop staring at her butt. Wait! She's turning to look me. She smiled...did she catch me...I wonder what it's like to have a girlfriend like that?Oh...here it comes. Here's comes "Johnny." Bet she likes him. Now two more guys are talking to her. I bet she could have all of them if she wanted.
And yep, of COURSE she's flirting with "Johnny." She's playing right into his act. Why do Chics fall so easily for the one guy who is the obvious player.
But look at her...damn!
She's looking at me again...WHY!!! After all, she's flirting with every guy. They all want her. Why would she want anything to do with me?
(...I wonder what she feels like. The shape of her body. They eyes looking back at me...)
Here she comes...yes! No. What do I do? I know I'll play it all cool.
Ahhh she likes it. I think she's hitting on me. I'm NOT going to flirt back like those other guys. They're pathetic and creepy. I'm going pretend I don't want her at all. She'll like that.
But here comes the other guys. Now they want to talk to me about her. Discussing every part of her body and what they would to her, what I know one of them will get to do. Probably not me. I'll just listen to them talk.
That way I won't be one of them...she'll like that even though she's not here to even see it. Then again - what's the point anyways.
Finally - We have some alone time. Just me and her. I can finally show her how I'm better. How I won't objectify her body. How I can like her for who she is and not just for her body. I'm not going to let THIS one slip away.
But I have to act fast. I don't want "Johnny's Seconds."
I CAN'T BELIEVE I just thought that. I called her freaking "seconds." Now I FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!
I know... I'll make it up to her by acting extra nice. I'll do something for her. I learn everything I can about her. That way I'll know exactly what she's looking for and what he wants.
Those other guys don't know a thing about her and here I am - learning about her dreams and aspirations. Haha! They're clueless. I'm definitely in.
(Several months or weeks later)
I can not believe how close we've gotten. This is awesome. She actually comes to me now. She tells me everything...Excuse me...You did WHAT? You slept with Johnny!!!!
I'm sorry. I know he's bad. I knew he was a player. Oh but he's not...he's really a nice guy. He cares about you?
I don't know why he does those things...WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!! YOU FREAKING WON'T DATE ME?
Oh he's only affectionate when you're alone? BUT YOU WON'T EVEN TOUCH ME? I WOULDN'T LET YOU GO FOR ANYTHING.
You're only looking for a good guy but you always end up with the jerks who don't seem to love you back as much?
But I love you. Be my girlfriend. Please. You know how I feel 'bout you. No one knows you better than me? I want more than just a friendship. You're incredible. I want you. I'll treat you like you deserve to be treated. I haven't slept with a thousand girls.
I don't enjoy making you cry...
I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!!!!!
Makes you really think - doesn't it? Who would've imagined the complexity and inner dialogue being so descriptive and full of FEELING... from a guy!
There you have it... this last type - the ones who actual DO try hardest are also the BEST at something else...
Hiding from you that they're actually TRYING!
Time for another question and this is not a trick one so don't be afraid to answer with all your heart.
Which of those three guys do you think would or could become the best guy for you to date, be your boyfriend, or to even marry one day in the future?
Obviously it's not the creep. You could only put up with pathetic for so long even if you were to break down and give him a chance.
This last option is without a doubt - the best. The one who is the best at hiding himself and his attraction for you and the clear winner of trying too hard by default.
(Sorry we're not getting into "Johnny" just yet because he's the bad boy and falls into the type one category. )
Now I'm not suggesting he's the guy you must search for or he's the right guy for you. Not at all.
What I am saying is that the other types are CLEAR (sort of see through) and despite the inner-working of their minds and how they came to be who they are - you can see what's going on and getting inside their minds is not at all helpful in finding a better guy.
The one who is hiding it all is something different entirely. Get inside his mind and you'll reveal so much about men it becomes dangerous information to have IF you don't know how to use it correctly.
Today's inside look into a guy's mind is a DANGEROUS one.
It can be quite revealing and even a little scary when you're shown the actual thoughts that go on inside a man's mind as it relates to you.
From a man's perspective, my own and the men who think it all out like this - it can become so emasculating, a man is apt to retreat to his own thoughts and never reveal them to anyone.
Hence the quietness you might experience from him at times.
Some will pretend it doesn't happen. Some will act out based on it. Some will go so deep that they rarely see a way out.
But that's not the dangerous part. Maybe for him it is, but not for you.
THIS is why it's so dangerous to hear these things.
Going inside a man's mind might have you believe that you can now connect with him better and that's true - BUT you'll only connect with his mind - and if you want to make a great friend, someone to confide with - there you go.
(Here's a quick explanation of how NOT to connect with a guy written by me and explained in full on HOW to do it is in her Ebook (not me): Rori Raye Rules! Love Yourself, Attract Men, Relationship & Connection - The Wrong Ways To Try and Connect With A Man)
As in the case above they became friends and that's not what he wanted. What if the roles were reversed - THEN you can see how important all this is to get right.
To truly connect with a man on an INTIMATE level a few things must be in place.
He must be made to feel open enough with you to share them in a different way. That man above held back for his own reasons - other guys will too and some of those other guy you'll find yourself falling for yet unable to open up - especially if you're only trying to get inside his mind.
You must open him up by sharing your feelings too - the right way. The attractive way.
The woman above shared all her feelings to a guy she felt nothing for but if she did it that way to a guy she DID want, I guarantee she would've pushed him far away. Something you can easily see as you're looking from the outside in.
You don't tell a guy you want how you slept with another guy who may or may not be his buddy, right?
That's the obvious stuff.
What's more harmful is all the sharing you might be doing and not realizing it (for one reason because you're on the inside) which ends up having the same effect on a guy.
You might also be sharing things the WRONG way which is equally as harmful.
So if you've been sharing away, clear about your needs to a guy, giving it all away, being what you feel is open and honest AND yet you still find yourself pushing what seems to be right guy away - it's because you're not doing in a way which brings him closer.
It's not your fault.
It feels right, doesn't it. It "should" be right.
Where's all the fairness here?
You should be able to be open to a guy without having to worry about scaring him away. Well we would hope it work that way but it just doesn't and getting caught up in all the "should" of it all is not the solution. Questioning that won't bring you any closer to the answer.
The problem is that you're sharing it all from YOUR female perspective and not according to what attracts a male.
And trust EVERY GUY, all three, do the very same thing to you too. Except from their male perspectives as in the guy above.
For you to better understand ALL men - read the inner dialogue again.
- What comes to your mind?
- How are you relating to it?
- What does it mean to you?
- What do you think he is really saying?
NOW - erase it all from your brain!
You mustn't confuse the important elements of this inner dialogue. You must NOT relate to them as facts and logic.
You must go beyond all the logic of it all and get the FEELINGS from which it is derived from and how they come to the surface and how it all relates to... building a connection that turns into a commitment.
Read it a third time imagine what he is FEELING and where they're coming from and look beyond the words.
Because THAT is HOW you can and will connect with a man on an INTIMATE level.
No - it's not easy so don't get down on yourself if you're not getting it right away. It's normal for it to take a few tries.
This is how I see it from a male perspective related to as many feeling as I can get out:
He felt all this more:
A compulsion to stare. Like he couldn't help himself.
He experienced "future" feelings as he thought about what it would be like to be with his attraction.
He felt angry, jealous, helpless, and even a little hopelessness.
He doubted himself. He felt unsure. He felt at some point that he was not good enough for her.
He felt imaginative as he tried to see her in his mind's eyes being intimate with her which means he felt a sensation of intimacy too.
He then felt more unsure - confused and not confident in what to do about all these feelings.
He at some point, decided to only let on that he was "cool", relaxed, in control, and comfortable as he tried to erase the nervousness he was then feelings... anxious and nervous.
He then experienced fear and worried as he believed he could easily be misjudged and screw it up. He was concerned she would see him as something he "feels" he is not - just like every other guy.
He then felt angry at himself for believing he had demeaned her, likened her to as just another body, or felt like he was treating her like a trophy - a non-female but a prize.
He lost a small feeling of respect for himself at which point he decided to make up for it - he would become even more respectful to her. More mindful at what SHE wanted or would like.
This even happened when she was not around as noted when he began to feel guilty when talking to his friends and the guilt tried to stop him from saying anything about her or agreeing to with what they were saying.
As the guilt progressed more bad thoughts crept in his head. Weird feelings. Feelings he thought he should not have which caused him later to be EXTRA nice to her and make a judgement to learn all he could about her.
While in that process he felt and became more curious. He started taking and making mental notes to give her what she please or what he believes would make her feel something back or at least not make him out again, to BE like every other guy.
He wanted to feel SPECIAL to her.
During this stage - as time went on - his confidence became FALSE or not real because he believed he was acting "better" than the other guys thus giving him a better chance of being with her.
While engaging her in this "new" manner a feeling of more comfort around her grew. He felt CLOSER to her. They shared private thoughts which in turn made him feel more CONNECTED to her.
Relating that to everything he was feeling - this connection was not in his mind - it was in his heart. So be believed and FELT which is very important.
All these feelings he experienced and more: Helpless, despair, hopeless, confused, angry, hurt, etc.. led him to start questioning anything and everything about what was happening to him which led him to an inevitable conclusion about this woman (mind you one he has not been intimate in any way with her).
He equated it all with an exclamation, in fact more of a declaration...
BE MY GIRLFRIEND.
A commitment BEFORE a relationship.
Wanting to make her happy.
Wanting to make sure she never cries by doing whatever he could to make it all good for her.
A belief backed by feelings she DESERVES it and only the BEST and he wanted to give it all to her.
He even went so far as comparing him not sleeping with other woman (claiming he's not that type of guy) as proof he wouldn't ever dream of cheating on her.
He was - for all intensive purpose...
Feeling in LOVE and COMMITTED and she did absolutely NOTHING to get him there.
In fact she did what you would expect would push him away but it didn't because he was already there and once he's there - going back is not an option for most men. They may act differently after but the feelings and the process they went through to get them there takes a very long time to unwind IF that ever happens.
Men hold on to feelings for a very long time.
In that very long discussion about a guy's emotional process he experiences - somewhere in the all that "junk" is a big secret to getting a man to fall in love with you or any woman who triggers the right stuff, at the right time, and most importantly - in the right way.
Somewhere you'll also see his NEEDS. Not all of them but most of what a man NEEDS to be emotional charged and to fall in love.
The full explanation of his inner thoughts as they relate to his needs will be covered in my newsletter so I suggest you join, leave a note below, or tell me when you sign up that you want all the details.
I've realize that I've left the door way open here.
You might feel a little confused.
You might also feel like it's all a bit too much work.
HOW do you get a guy you actually DO want to cycle through all those emotions and feelings and then equate them to love and commitment and then have him relate or connect it to you?
I'll admit THAT is the tougher part.
First you must be in touch with YOURSELF and your emotions, your feelings, your needs.
Then you must learn how to express them to him in a way which brings him closer, opens him up, and allows the process happen all by itself. Done right, under most typical situations - it will happen naturally.
A man left to his own thoughts and feelings WILL get there.
Some and more is covered on my newsletter which you can get on below for free.
I understand you might want the answers right now or (yesterday already) then you have a few more options from the very same people who introduced me to this connection stuff.
I worked out the feelings part above - THEY can show you how to use it to connect with a man better than I can ( at the moment).
Rori gives you step-by-step instructions into his heart by showing how to connect with him - there - and not through his mind, body, or soul.
She shows you how to do it in a way which allows you to open and express who you really are what you really want.
The link above will give you all the information you need. It you want some free advice from the creator you can sign up to Rori Raye's Newsletter right here.
You might want to get as deep as you can into a man's mind - yes much deeper than we did today PLUS you'll want to discover the inner thoughts of a guy you DO want and feel attracted to - this is where the next series does it all for you.
There are five sections. The second uncovers the inner world of a man. The third covers much more related to what I've written for you - What he really NEEDS.
PLUS it all centers around how you communicate to him in a way which allows him to step through the whole process above naturally. It's called attractive communication and when used correctly allows you to connect with his heart.
Have The Relationship You Want is inexpensive but might be all you need. It's basically an Ebook filled with top advice that's been tested in the field for many years.
Inside The Mind Of A Man is a full program so expect to pay a little more but it WILL take you much further down the road - or should I say - inside his mind.
What you read above - yes all the way to the top is the fun part. Well I hope it is for you.
Here's the boring stuff.
This is all from my own mind.
I've been doing this for years. Each and practically everyday I write, dig deep, and discover things about men and women.
I then compare my findings to those who have taught me along the way, what they produce and sell, and I make a decision.
If what I have to offer is an entirely new concept, I either throw in my book, give it away on my newsletter, and occasionally it disappears never to be heard from again.
As I went through this INNER thoughts of a guy something new came up which was quite exciting for me. A light bulb went off in my head so I dug deep and wrote it down. It's either going to show up in my newsletter or in a book. Not sure yet.
However - connecting to a man's heart is NOT my personal stuff. I did NOT come up with it and therefore - I'll decided to send you to those who did introduce it to me and already have it all prepared and ready to be used by you.
And yes - unless you ask or request a refund which you are entitled to for a limited time (see their policies for those details) - I do eventually earn a commission from the sale only.
Keep all that in mind as you process everything.
Hey I told you this was the boring part.
Anyways - this is me - you like what you've read or not - you have something to say - leave it below in the comment area - I'd love it hear about it.
Get on the Why Do Guys Newsletter below for more of me. You can even write me there when something crosses your mind.
I'll see you there or below. I'm looking forward to it and love to have you join up and participate in any way you can so we can all understand men better and keep it as simple as possible.