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Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

A closer different look at the moment he defines his sexual gratification by sleeping with many different women.

The "natural" view is actually quite simple. Men, being built to procreate many times and "spread their seed" are actually designed to sleep with many different women in their lifetime.

Now I understand in this modern social world men have a choice. They can choose to sleep with a few, or commit forever to one girl.

He can choose to stare temptation in the face and deny any woman who is willing to have sex with him.  (Granted being human we ALL have the option to step out of our traditional roles and do something different. )

Some of you might even assign a level of strength to him.

The stronger man can resist his instinctual sexual drive.

The weaker man gives in even though he knows it could emotional hurt her.

Yet the stronger man has more temptation and the weaker man doesn't. So it's not really a fair assessment, is it?

What about this?

Very few women I have known will have sex with a guy who does not have the option to sleep around.

You want the best mate for you and typically he will be highly sought out by other women too.  Thus the man you want the most has a greater probability of cheating on you too.

I know.

Kind of sucks but it's true.

Some argue in the modern world we live in, these rules, for lack of a better word, just don't apply.

They throw around the word "love" and expect if a man loves a woman he should never stray. She should be all he ever needs.

Doesn't work that way though - does it?

Especially when so many men struggle with the definition of love.

Especially when there's guys who will obsess over a woman until he's had sex with her and the "thrill" wears off.

The male sex drive can be powerful and sometimes dominating.

GUY FEAR #1: My sexual desires are NOT okay

"I won’t tell you that old thing about how guys want waaay more sex that women do, because it’s actually not true.

Women want it, we just want it under different terms.

He just… wants it.

Every possible way he can imagine it.

With your sister, your mom, the librarian (definitely the librarian), the teenager snapping her gum behind the cash register.

He’s even had a dirty fantasy about that weird shopping cart lady.

Sex movies of every description (multiple lovers, bondage, fetish, you name it) run in his brain nearly all the time, and sometimes what’s showing on the screen shocks even him.

Deep down, he’s terrified that he wants sex too much, or in the wrong ways, with the wrong people.

His sex drive is a formidable machine, and it’s a testament to his power that he doesn’t let it drive his life, only his brain."

Top 2 Things Men Are Terrified Of, How to Help Your Man & Make Him Love You

(located at dialteg.org)

It can take control over us and send us into the arms or bed of any woman willing or when properly directed can drive us to succeed in more areas than just a pure sexual conquest.

Based on my experience there's a certain relevance to the male orgasm and our instinctual drive to sleep around.

There have been so many nights where after I release my male potency alone (so as not to confuse the feelings when a woman's involved) and not ten seconds later I felt let down.

Like it wasn't good enough.

Even after having delayed gratification for several hours it felt like, "That was it?!!!"

The longer we wait, within reason, the more we produce.

But after, depending on the circumstance we might even feel a little guilty.

More empathetic.

Thirsty and hungry and sometimes apathetic, sometimes contempt and tired.

Whatever the after affects happen to be...

When the drive is temporarily removed, the primal urge to reproduce no longer connected to us,  there's a strange feeling of loss.

Like we're missing something.

In the arms of our proclaimed love this can easily be overcame with a hug, a shared story, or anything emotional connection. Thus equating love to the experience and to the person next to us.

In the arms of an affair, a one night stand, a situation where we can not connect love to the persona we're with, this loss does not go away until the next time.

Keeping us in forever search of the perfect lay.

You would think the first experience would keep us happy. Stop us from straying or at least be enough reason to only ever want to be with the one we love but...

What if we don't feel that connection or we don't know how to open up, or what if the women we're with doesn't allow it to happen, or doesn't know how to respond to a man after, or what if she isn't allowing his sex drive to be completely brought out.

Or even worse yet what if he feels like she has not been completely satisfied and after the moment, while the drive has left, he no longer feels powerful but weak and unable to perform.

My point is that the male orgasm is a sudden release of all that makes us male but has little to do with makes us a responsible adult according to social standards.

Depending on our lifestyle, willpower, ability to succeed, our health, or anything related in the few moments we're about to release is when we feel the pure power and strength of ourselves.

Some of us may not find the "emotion" anywhere in our lives and since it is short and followed by the removal of a part of our masculinity, we're driven to search for it again and again and again...

Thus satisfying nature's gift to us to procreate almost unconditionally as many times as physically possible.

While the build up is there nothing else matters - we'll move mountains to achieve those few seconds right before it happens.

For so many men the desire to sleep around has nothing to do with women but more to do with his control and ability to tap into his masculine male role in nature.

Some men achieve this through different outlets, some do it by bedding lots of different women, some learn it from experience, some take her advances as being the same...

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

It's not our role as provider, it's probably not even nature granting us the ability to do so, a lot of times it's to...

Experience a moment where we can truly enjoy a surge of our primal masculine self.

Choices, selection, ability, or personal situation aside, feeling like a man who belongs in the world and is an actual contributor by doing exactly what we're designed to do appears to be reason enough.

What all this means is of course open to interpretation, speculation, and reasoning.

If you're a guy tell me - Why do you sleep around?

But if you're a woman tell me this...

What is the one moment in your life (which can happen many times) where you absolutely felt like you're the absolute definition of femininity and nothing else seemed to matter but that one moment?AND...

You find yourself constantly searching for it again by any means possible?

If you can find that answer and believe it to be true - then you can certainly imagine why men do in fact sleep with so many different women regardless of the situation or the affect of his actions on himself and others.

Okay - granted - the reasons listed here seem to be a little different than anything you have read before BUT underneath it all - it seems to make sense.

Not that it describes the exact reason why "some" men sleep with lots of different women BUT how nature plays its role by making the male orgasm the way it is... causing a guy to want it more and more and more.

Doesn't really explain the "different" angle exactly but again - nature has already taken care of that, right?

We (us guys) are given the option and some will oblige it to the fullest extent of that option.

I'm sure lots of guy sleep around for reasons nature didn't intend but it works out the same anyways.

Some do it because they "think" it's what makes them a man.

Some do it because they can and the women he's sleeping, most of them, just don't seem to mind as long as there's no exclusive agreement going on.

Some do it for everything listed here today - a constant urge to release because it feels good just before and sometimes worse after as a male sex drive is tossed or left to fend for it self in a woman, on a condom, against her body, or just.... wherever it lands.

The leaves the strangest part of this post - How a simple title "sleep with lots of different women" seems to invoke the assumption of infidelity when it's not even mentioned - just assumed by those who wish to see that over those who saw it for what it really was - not mentioned at  all.

Moving on... how about this:

The amount of emotional reaction a question like this brings up because of the difference of opinions... How men are pigs and women are not. How it's not fair a guy can sleep around and be more of a man whereas when a woman does it - she's a slut.

Bringing up the last hot topic - and perhaps at risk of disproving everything you've read so far today...

Do men in fact actually have more sexual partners than women?

The TRUTH of the matter - of course I'm not so sure if it's true but in my lifetime it has proven to be a FACT - take an average man and count how many different women he's slept with until the age of let's say 40 and compare the same thing for a woman and you'll see some interested results...

Well not really because after doing a modest amount of research on this subject and comparing them to my own experiences - some very interesting results were found.

Let's explore this issue...

How when asked a question like this men over-exaggerated the amount of women they've actually slept with and the women under-exaggerated.

"Our male respondents were more likely than our female survey participants to inflate their number of sexual partners: 17.5 percent of male respondents reported claiming more partners than they’ve had, while only 8.2 percent of women did the same. On the other hand, 18.6 percent of women said they’ve divulged a decreased number of partners compared with only 13.7 percent of men who have done so. It’s possible that men and women may be altering their respective numbers because they are influenced by certain outdated perceptions – for instance, that a woman with an extensive sexual past may be regarded as promiscuous or that a man with a high number of partners feels he possesses virility and sexual prowess."

What's You Number?

That leads me to believe that on average - only compared to my experience of known sexual partners of my friends - that in fact the amount of sexual partners were about the same. (More on that below so keep reading.)

Granted in MY world growing up women slept with more men than the guys slept with girls although the women would generally have sex with just a few guys leaving the rest to "fend" I mean "play" with themselves.

The numbers then suggest one guy would be tossed around by several different woman so sure, he had more different partners but the sex number was the same for both.

Leading to this no-so-strange results but rather odd research findings by some (I'm assuming mathematician guys who were NOT the ones getting their share in school) - Men and Women Cannot Can Have Different Average Numbers of Sexual Partners and a theory listed here: Average number of sexual partners.

Meaning - no matter how you slice it - it DOES take two to have sex making it theoretically impossible, when averaged together for (heterosexually speaking) men to have more sex than women, right?

Yes - then comes the important word no-so-eloquently put in the title: DIFFERENT.

Here's what I recently found in my search for the average number of partners:

Median number of opposite-sex partners in lifetime among sexually experienced men and women aged 25-44 years of 2011-2015:

6.1 for men.

4.2 for Women.

Key Statistics from the National Survey of Family Growth - N Listing

Granted this was an American study so it may not apply everywhere.

Taken those numbers into account and factoring in that men increase the number and women decrease the number (in surveys) AND that on average women have more partners than men as proposed in this impossible to read paper - Do Men and Women Have the Same Average Number of Lifetime Partners?

I'd say that makes them just about equal.

Very interesting stuff indeed and we will probably never find or agree on a definitive answer because apparently - no one wants to tell the truth about the amount of men or women they've slept with in their lifetime.

You have an opinion or whatever please feel free to list it below.

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About the author: Understanding men does not have to be complicated anymore and I can show yow how… There are only two types of guys and if you don’t know which one he is, you could misinterpret everything he says or does as it relates to you. Your new guy friend, Peter White – Understanding Men Made Simple.
78 comments… add one
  • Erin Kruchen

    The definition of femininity… when nothing else seems to matter but that one moment? … I would have to say is probably upon giving birth, but that doesn’t mean I want to have as many children as possible!! It means I will cherish that moment and that child for the rest of my life because it is SACRED and entitled to reverence and respect. This is the difference between women and men. A man should feel absolute masculinity upon fighting for his RIGHT to procreate and achieving it. This is how it works in the rest of the animal kingdom. You see, I think men are afraid women will eventually realize that the roles have been reversed, and this is why men sleep around, to get their “seed” out while they can, while women are still be subjected to their inferior roles cast by social norms molded by the media, influenced by men who think just like you, who claim men sleep around because it gives them the feeling of masculinity, but you know why they keep doing it and are never fully satisfied? Because there is nothing masculine about it.

  • anna

    I think guys sleep around because they can and because some men need women to fill the void. they also like the ego boost which to me is kind of a turn off if thy need a constant ego boost from women. why can’t the just be secure in who they are? Also, I think society is to blame because people say that a man who sleeps with many women has worth and is higher ranked. personally, I think men who sleep around are a double edge sword. some of them I find attractive and I want to get to know them and sleep with them, but I have a hard time getting over the fact that they already whored themselves around to everyone. they sell their cocks so easily that there is very lil sport in them. it is so frustrating because a part of me wants to get over the fact that they slept with so many women (about 50) but I can’t help to think what he may think about me if I slept with that many. of course, I am a woman so I do get the luxury of lying about 90% of the men I fucked. for example, I have slept with, by the way most of it was shitty sex, about 15 men(one virgin) but in my head I really see it as only three. I discount all shitty sex, sex with any guy who was selfish bc how is having sex with a selfish guy, sex?, sex with a virgin, sex that lasted 5 mins or less, and sex I didn’t enjoy. I only count sex that I liked so only three really. I feel I can safely discount the other 12 because they sucked and I sucked too. plus, If no one will ever know, how did I really have sex with them? you see in all reality I never really did.

  • Lauren

    Here we go again, men trying to justify their slutty lives! This is getting old, they should try another pathetic excuse already. You sleep around because you chose to do so period. It has nothing to do with with your tingling balls urging you to release.

    • Tim Schaeffer

      “It has nothing to do with with your tingling balls urging you to release.”

      You’re a man? No? Then how would you know?

    • Azra

      First of all, not all men sleep around. Secondly, this type of behaviour is reckless, dangerous and irresponsible. Sleeping around is a self destructive behaviour. Among other things, it also damages people psychologically. Promiscuity in general has to do with mental instability, filling the void, etc. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs, and some ppl turn to sex, over-eating, self-pity, and other types of self destructive behaviors. In some cases, it also has to do with fear of commitment and fear of abandonment. Men and women who sleep around will never really experience love and comfort in their own skin. They think they do, just like heavy drinkers who claim that they don’t have a problem.

  • Just Me

    And why do guys miss out on the best woman of their lives and end up suffering for the rest of their lives because they let the “one” get away? Because they are douchebags and want to sleep with every woman possible until they die. That’s got to rock along with the fact that they will have to announce that they have an incurable STD because they couldn’t help but sleep around all the time.

    Trust me, women can do the same thing and make excuses for being a whore, but there are some out there like me that refuse to lower her standards and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry. We will never cross paths because we can spot you a mile away and smell the stench dripping from your infected cock. LMFAO I don’t know why this post pisses me off. It’s just another lame excuse to try and convince us that it’s “not their fault” that they are whoredogs…

    • Renatta

      That is the greatest comment ever! Period!

    • brandon

      some men don’t care to have your idea of the ” best woman of their lives” y’all fiend for love. most of us men don’t. men sleep around because they get bored of the same vagina. to men, its like eating pizza everyday. yes, you can spice it up. but at the end of the day, its just pizza. and some guys will stick with one person. but are they happy doing so? probably not.

      • Cindy

        You don’t think women don’t get bored with the same penis?? Always someone better and different . Men are around for one big let go.. women can go all day if the Man could and if he was good but Men never can especially if with the same women .., so trust me its the women that’s always wanting more but we settle for the one 20-30 mins and deal/stay .. why???? most all mem are lame and they think they are good in bed but really most Men are all the same. None of them are any better then the next. Some try harder to please and succeed but we also search for that. Woman make you think you are good cause thats how much control we have on Men and most women can be thinking about others we are safely smart and capable of sticking to the one that we love easily. I agree tho women are straying more now also but they want different just like Men do. If you don’t want cheating.. let that person know and agree on tracking devices and open phones to keep you from straying.. only way these days. 🙂

  • Ron

    The trouble is that many women are the ones that are very unfaithful since they really can’t commit to just one guy at all these days which is real fact by the way.

  • Reality Check

    With so many women being Real Whores these days they’re the ones that have real commitment issues to begin with. Enough said right there.

    • Invests

      I have to know why, someone after all these years, would reach out to me. We had fun over 5 years ago, but he didnt want a relationship. Then i met someone else. Over a few years during my relationship to someone else, hed text me from unknown number asking to see me. I said no several times and I told him I was in a relationship. So now the relationship has ended and this other guy reached out again. This guy sleeps around I think. He doesn’t exactly show me stability and he has made it clear that he just wants in my pants. if a guy can get any girl-why bother me? Really?

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