≡ Menu
Why Do Guys…?

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

in Sexual Desires
A closer different look at the moment he defines his sexual gratification by sleeping with many different women.

The “natural” view is actually quite simple. Men, being built to procreate many times and “spread their seed” are actually designed to sleep with many women in their lifetime.

Now I understand in this modern social world men have a choice. They can choose to sleep with a few, or commit forever to one girl.

He can choose to stare temptation in the face and deny any woman who is willing to have sex with him.  ( Granted being human we ALL have the option to step out of our traditional roles and do something different. )

Some of you might even assign a level of strength to him.

The stronger man can resist his instinctual sexual drive.

The weaker man gives in even though he knows it could emotional hurt her.

Yet the stronger man has more temptation and the weaker man doesn’t. So it’s not really a fair assessment.

What about this?

Very few women I have known will have sex with a guy who does not have the option to sleep around.

You want the best mate for you and typically he will be highly sought out by other women too.  Thus the man you want the most has a greater probability of cheating on you too.

I know.

Kind of sucks but it’s true.

Some argue in the modern world we live in these rules, for lack of a better word, don’t apply.

They throw around the word “love” and expect if a man loves a woman he should never stray. She should be all he ever needs.

Doesn’t work that way though – does it?

Especially when so many men struggle with the definition of love.

Especially when there’s guys who will obsess over a woman until he’s had sex with her and the “thrill” wears off.

The male sex drive can be powerful and sometimes dominating.

It can take control over us and send us into the arms or bed of any woman willing or when properly directed can drive us to succeed in more areas than just sexual conquest.

Based on my experience there’s a certain relevance to the male orgasm and our instinctual drive to sleep around.

There have been so many nights where after I release my male potency alone ( so as not to confuse the feelings when a woman’s involved ) and not ten seconds later I felt let down. Like it wasn’t good enough.

Even after having delayed gratification for several hours it felt like, “That was it?!!!”

The longer we wait, within reason, the more we produce.

But after, depending on the circumstance we might even feel a little guilty.

More empathetic.

Thirsty and hungry and sometimes apathetic, sometimes contempt and tired.

Whatever the after affects happen to be…

When the drive is temporarily removed, the primal urge to reproduce no longer connected to us,  there’s a strange feeling of loss.

Like we’re missing something.

In the arms of our proclaimed love this can easily be overcame with a hug, a shared story, or anything emotional connection. Thus equating love to the experience and to the person we’re with.

In the arms of an affair, a one night stand, a situation where we can not connect love to the persona we’re with, this loss does not go away until the next time.

Keeping us in forever search of the perfect lay.

You would think the first experience would keep us happy. Stop us from straying or at least be enough reason to only ever want to be with the one we love but…

What if we don’t feel that connection or we don’t know how to open up, or what if the women we’re with doesn’t allow it to happen, or doesn’t know how to respond to a man after, or what if she isn’t allowing his sex drive to be completely brought out.

Or even worse yet what if he feels like she has not been completely satisfied and after the moment, while the drive has left, he no longer feels powerful but weak and unable to perform.

My point is the male orgasm is a sudden release of all that makes us male but has little to do with makes us a responsible adult according to social standards.

Depending on our lifestyle, willpower, ability to succeed, our health, or anything related in the few moments we’re about to release is when we feel the pure power and strength of ourselves.

Some of us may not find the “emotion” anywhere in our lives and since it is short and followed by the removal of a part of our masculinity, we’re driven to search for it again and again and again…

Thus satisfying nature’s gift to us to procreate almost unconditionally as many times as physically possible.

While the build up is there nothing else matters – we’ll move mountains to achieve those few seconds before.

For so many men the desire to sleep around has nothing to do with women but more to do with his control and ability to tap into his masculine male role in nature.

Some men achieve this through different outlets, some do it by bedding lots of different women, some learn it from experience, some take her advances as being the same…

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

It’s not our role as provider, it’s probably not even nature granting us the ability to do so, a lot of times it’s to…

Experience a moment where we can truly enjoy a surge of our primal masculine self.

Choices, selection, ability, or personal situation aside, feeling like a man who belongs in the world and is an actual contributor by doing exactly what we’re designed to do appears to be reason enough.

What all this means is of course open to interpretation, speculation, and reasoning.

If you’re a guy tell me – Why do you sleep around?

But if you’re a woman tell me this…

What is the one moment in your life (which can happen many times) where you absolutely felt like you’re the definition of femininity and nothing else seemed to matter but that one moment? AND you find yourself constantly searching for it again by any means possible?

If you can find that answer and believe it to be true – then you can certainly imagine why men do in fact sleep with so many different women regardless of the situation or the affect of his actions.

About the author: Honest, upfront, and an ability to see past the hidden layers is my intended style at why do guys. My goal is to un-complicate men and steer you away from the guys who will only hurt you. My hope is that you learn something, anything, and my writing style is at least a little easy to understand… Thank you, Peter White

Stay in touch and learn about men by joining my newsletter below. Join other women like you discuss men by joining the new Why Do Guys Facebook Group. You can also Like or follow the Facebook Fan Page. And lastly Join me on Twitter.

Sign Up For The Free Why Do Guys Newsletter

Why Guys Newsletter Cover Bottom

  • Fascinating stories about guys. Eye openers to understanding “dudes”.
  • In-depth answers about men you’ve never heard before!
  • Mind-blowing facts about men you won’t believe but I’m not afraid to write.
  • Crazy deals! Well just some cool stuff to help enhance your relationships with guys.
  • Free Ebooks! About what else… GUYS!
  • Great advice to show you how to talk, interact, and attract REAL men.
  • Sign Up Below Before You Miss The Next One!!

    (Your info is never shared. No spam. 18 years or older due to some adult content. Some emails are not written by me but are selectively chosen for you do contain affiliated and promotional links.)
    68 comments… add one
    • Lauren

      Here we go again, men trying to justify their slutty lives! This is getting old, they should try another pathetic excuse already. You sleep around because you chose to do so period. It has nothing to do with with your tingling balls urging you to release.

      • Tim Schaeffer

        “It has nothing to do with with your tingling balls urging you to release.”

        You’re a man? No? Then how would you know?

      • Azra

        First of all, not all men sleep around. Secondly, this type of behaviour is reckless, dangerous and irresponsible. Sleeping around is a self destructive behaviour. Among other things, it also damages people psychologically. Promiscuity in general has to do with mental instability, filling the void, etc. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs, and some ppl turn to sex, over-eating, self-pity, and other types of self destructive behaviors. In some cases, it also has to do with fear of commitment and fear of abandonment. Men and women who sleep around will never really experience love and comfort in their own skin. They think they do, just like heavy drinkers who claim that they don’t have a problem.

    • Just Me

      And why do guys miss out on the best woman of their lives and end up suffering for the rest of their lives because they let the “one” get away? Because they are douchebags and want to sleep with every woman possible until they die. That’s got to rock along with the fact that they will have to announce that they have an incurable STD because they couldn’t help but sleep around all the time.

      Trust me, women can do the same thing and make excuses for being a whore, but there are some out there like me that refuse to lower her standards and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry. We will never cross paths because we can spot you a mile away and smell the stench dripping from your infected cock. LMFAO I don’t know why this post pisses me off. It’s just another lame excuse to try and convince us that it’s “not their fault” that they are whoredogs…

      • Renatta

        That is the greatest comment ever! Period!

      • brandon

        some men don’t care to have your idea of the ” best woman of their lives” y’all fiend for love. most of us men don’t. men sleep around because they get bored of the same vagina. to men, its like eating pizza everyday. yes, you can spice it up. but at the end of the day, its just pizza. and some guys will stick with one person. but are they happy doing so? probably not.

        • Cindy

          You don’t think women don’t get bored with the same penis?? Always someone better and different . Men are around for one big let go.. women can go all day if the Man could and if he was good but Men never can especially if with the same women .., so trust me its the women that’s always wanting more but we settle for the one 20-30 mins and deal/stay .. why???? most all mem are lame and they think they are good in bed but really most Men are all the same. None of them are any better then the next. Some try harder to please and succeed but we also search for that. Woman make you think you are good cause thats how much control we have on Men and most women can be thinking about others we are safely smart and capable of sticking to the one that we love easily. I agree tho women are straying more now also but they want different just like Men do. If you don’t want cheating.. let that person know and agree on tracking devices and open phones to keep you from straying.. only way these days. 🙂

    • Ron

      The trouble is that many women are the ones that are very unfaithful since they really can’t commit to just one guy at all these days which is real fact by the way.

    • Reality Check

      With so many women being Real Whores these days they’re the ones that have real commitment issues to begin with. Enough said right there.

      • Invests

        I have to know why, someone after all these years, would reach out to me. We had fun over 5 years ago, but he didnt want a relationship. Then i met someone else. Over a few years during my relationship to someone else, hed text me from unknown number asking to see me. I said no several times and I told him I was in a relationship. So now the relationship has ended and this other guy reached out again. This guy sleeps around I think. He doesn’t exactly show me stability and he has made it clear that he just wants in my pants. if a guy can get any girl-why bother me? Really?

    • Tracy

      I honestly don’t truly know why they do but what I do know is I would love to have the man I love to be the acception and all his womanizing would stop with me, cause I feel I am worth it dammit!

    • Reality Check

      With most women nowadays that like to party all the time and get real wasted, they will never be able to settle down with only one man anyway since most of these women are just real losers as well.

      • Peter White

        I actually enjoy posting your comments “Reality Check” because they prove your ignorance without me even having to try.

        • Reality Check

          Peter, and you’re a real moron altogether since you really can’t deal with the truth since a lot of what of what i have said is the real truth. And by the way, why are you protecting most of these women that aren’t so innocent at all when many of us men had this happened to us already? I was very faithful to my Ex wife from the very beginning to the very end before that low life loser destroyed my marriage since she loved sleeping around with all kinds of men before she was caught. Been there.

    • Mandy

      Upon stumbling on this article, i must admit that i approached it prepared to be angry 😠 but at the end of it, i must say it is the most helpful insight into a mans actions. (Of course, it does not justify cheating) but it does explain why some men can hold back and resist temptation and why some cant. (Ive known both types of males) thank you for your insight..And in response to your question about When did I as a female felt at the epitome of my femininity etc? It was when I had my children and held them in my arms for the first time..In that moment, holding this little perfect beautiful being that I had helped create and that had been created inside my body, I felt the amazing strenght and beauty,complexity and wonder of being a woman. I felt like having my child made me into a WOMAN like nothing else had ever made me feel before or since.

      • Peter White

        Thanks Mandy and I’d say, not much if anything justifies cheating.

    • Goforit

      Men are not programmed to spread their seed to any godless whore he comes across. Where did you hear that? Men and women are designed for one partner, and if they would stick to that, there would be far fewer problems in the world. But most of you bumbling idiots go around pursuing your own lusts with no mind for the consequences. God?? Psshh.. Who’s that? Lets just do what we want. Those rules aren’t laid down for any particular reason.

      That’s your problem. That’s the world’s problem. They just do what they want without following any sort of guideline from a being who might know just a little bit more about it than they do. Then they go limping around with a sore dick wondering what happened.

    • raven

      For a woman it’s about the ultimate desire to be fully connected deeply and emotionally with the one they love. Though I believe it to be true, what you presented regarding promiscuity in males leaving an emptiness it seems it is because of a self-centeredness that has nothing to do within women. That certainly would make one feel alone. They may learn about their masculinity, but it means nothing to the woman. She feels very disconnected. She’s looking for a balanced enveloping between divine female and divine male. Women have the power to bring life in to this world and this makes intimacy a serious matter…if she is not superficial and if she is promiscuous herself, she may very well not have enough confidence and too much insecurity and is trying to experience her power over men and her ability to attract them. Beautiful women sometimes have no real competitors since they see the competitors as the men who are competing over them. She identifies that power to her femininity. However, if she is confident, she will look for someone who feels the same way she does about love, fidelity and connectedness.

    • Big Rick

      I am a man who has been with multiple women, yet never once cheated. Every time I enter into a relationship with a woman, I do so with the purest intentions. I make sure that they are comfortable with every step of the process and I cater to their needs. In my experience, the fault in my relationships always comes down to differing personalities.

      I don’t look back on any of these relationships as bad times in my life, however I do believe that the relationships were never designed to last. I believe that women feel the desire for sex as much as men do and punishing people for their natural urges is wrong.

      Sex is a sacred activity which brings one closer to God and the fulfillment of the human understanding. I fundamentally believe that each individual should explore themselves sexually with as many different partners as possible until they find the individual they were truely meant to be with.

      In the end, I think it is the man’s burden to never be enough for the women he loves and for the women to resent him for never being truely theirs.

    Leave a Comment