It's frustrating - annoying - "As if it's that hard to type a few texts on a phone!" you start thinking, probably once again.
The longer time passes you find yourself in a predicament. You want to text him again - but you don't want to come off as desperate or overbearing.
On top of that, there's real burning sensation you can not shake - A NEED to KNOW WHY!
And that's why I'm here to help you out today - I'm a guy. I've avoided getting back to lots of women in my life.
I'm going to share with you lots of reasons for his silence.
If you want more - pick up my book for all 49 reasons of why a guy will not get back to you - and plus why he doesn't share as much as you'd like OR even starts to outright ignore you. (Look for it in section 11.)
Some of what you're going to read is obvious but that's okay because it can quiet your mind and alleviate some of the stress you're probably feeling from it.
A few are not so obvious to those who are deeply involved with a guy. They're not good. They may hurt. But it's best to see the truth so you can get past it all quickly and with the least amount of pain.
This can help to alleviate any stress you might experience when your phone goes quiet. It will also help you decide when it's time to move on.
Some of the might've been caused by you, others have nothing to do with you at all.
Avoid those little mistakes, follow my two text routine, and I'm positive men will get back to you regardless of some of the reasons listed below.
In no particular order of course...
1. He's busy at work.
Yes - it happens. You might not know his work schedule and that's fine. Give him a reasonable amount of time, don't read too far into it, and I'm sure he'll be texting again soon.
BUT - there's another side to this "busy at work" thing most don't cover but since I'm a dude, I know the deal and have personally experienced it myself - which is why I never texted them back, especially when I was at work.
Sometimes a guy is suspicious or at least aware of when a woman is playing a game and just like you, they don't like it and will do everything to avoid getting sucking into it.
If you're unsure of his schedule or if he's the type of guy who can and will text while at work - that's fine.
However you must never use it as a means to determine if he's into you, deeply interested, or will jump at your every word or message.
Some women have thought this, "I know if I text him at work, and he's a busy guy AND he gets back to me quickly or is willing to put aside his work for me - then he MUST be into me."
Granted - lots of guys are not that intuitive. They won't know or even assume it's a test but why take the chance because the "better" guys, the ones you really want, are the one to most likely see it coming and will not back to you for that very reason AND will lose interest in you too.
So it's not worth even trying - IF you have a need to know there are better more effective ways to gauge a man's interest.
You can get a good start at figuring out his real interest and intention by going through my appropriately titled category:
Lastly - keep in mind not every guy will always carry his phone with him at work and some have jobs which makes it impossible too.
2. His phone service sucks.
It's hard to believe in 2019 that messages get lost or are not received but it does happen.
I've had an unfortunate thing happen to me once where a woman texted me, she didn't get an answer - and texted multiple times over the course of a few hours all the while escalating her anger with each message.
It was brutal.
I woke up the next day and my phone blew up - it's like every text was backlogged and delivered to me all at once. And yes, I was certainly turned off from the ever growing rude messages she sent that night.
It's not overly common with normal texting but it does happen with Facebook ... a lot more than it should.
Just keep it in mind - NEVER send more than two unanswered messages and if it's a service problem, it will eventually work itself out.
Luckily for this reason - it's not you, it's not him - it's simply a matter of bad circumstances and terrible luck.
THAT should ease your anxious mind a little, hopefully not enough to click out and forget about my incredibly awesome blog so stick around, it's going to get real interesting now...
3. He has a wife or girlfriend who is close by to him.
Ouch!! I hated writing this one but it's unfortunate part of life, dating, and relationships.
So what if? What if you didn't know he was a two-timer?
What if you didn't know he had a girlfriend?
What if he's an asshole who is simply looking out for someone better and that just happens to be you?
Men DO cheat. You can read about why right here and how to spot him a mile away too:
This may appear to belong in the "it's not you it's him" pile and mostly should go there BUT...
IF you're the other woman and you know it - this is a perfectly valid reason why he's not getting back to you.
For those of you who may suspect, it but he's been too good at hiding it from you and acting rather strange and untrustworthy:
Number one: It's a GOOD thing he's not getting back to you.
Number two: Time to research his profile anywhere it's at and leave this lovely message as your last, "Nice knowing you."
AND then make sure you BLOCK HIS ASS IMMEDIATELY because you know he's not going to let you go all that easily so my suggestion is to not get sucked into his drama. Guys who cheat have a way of convincing too many women.
4. He's on a date with someone else.
Okay, well at least this one is not as bad as the last one for some women.
I know you don't want the guy you're dating to see other women, but if you're not in a committed relationship, you must admit he's free to see others.
In fact - like it or not - it's recommended by most dating experts I've learned from for single men and women to date several at once before a commitment.
Oddly enough, the lovely Rori Raye promotes an amazing concept called "Circular Dating" AND she shows you how it's done plus how it can help you overcome lots of stumbling blocks in dating with something she coins as "free therapy".
Yeah - it's not free in the actual monetary meaning but I believe it can and has worked for lots of women.
Check it out here:
Or sign up for her free newsletter - have the relationship you want, and eventually, she'll tell you all about it herself.
I like to think of this "problem" in this way:
IF the guy you're seeing is really that good - OTHER women will want him too, right?
AND with all your feminine charm, how you connect with him, how you communicate to his masculine side... when you manage to capture him so he'll happily stop seeing other women:
You'll know without a doubt you were MEANT to be together AND give yourself a huge pat on the back or whatever because YOU GOT HIM.
Proof on many levels that can lead to some incredible and happy long-lasting relationship.
AND if he's SMART and intuitive enough to not text another woman while he's on a date with another - that's props to him
If you know he's seeing other women or you send the text during a popular "date" time, he just might have been on a date with another woman.
5. He's having sex with another woman... Or even another man?
This one may not be too popular, it may not sit well with you, it might piss you off and make you want to rip out yours or even his hair by the roots...
But it DOES happen.
Hopefully not often, but certain a possibility depending on the guy of course.
I included for you because it DID happen to me.
There I was, "name withheld", was on top of me and little did I know my phone was blowing up by another woman I was very casually seeing.
So of course I couldn't back to her and I was actually smart enough to turn of the noise on my phone; I didn't even know I was being messaged.
Nope - I can honestly say it didn't happen to me with another guy because I don't go there. "Not that there's anything wrong with that...." - I'm heterosexual.
All that aside - it fits on this list because it can and does happen, but also because if you think about the timing of your message to a guy, it's MORE likely to be the case.
Obviously the choice is yours to make as to deciding if a guy like that is worth your time, or even another text.
I won't be giving props to the guy or even to me for not picking up the phone in the middle of sex to answer another woman. That would be absurd and honestly it's not a moral issue, it's a human thing.
Meaning I'd be more concerned with a guy who would get back to you - unless he's cheating on you - in this circumstance.
I know - I'm not helping you out here, I'm merely giving you something worse or drastic to think about, but the truth tends to ALWAYS be the best and most "learned from" option.
6. You send him too many "forwards" or give him too many reasons to NOT want to get back to you.
Yes - forwards in text messaging are old except maybe on Facebook or any other social media account BUT if that's your primary mode of contact then this could be the reason why he's not getting back to you.
I knew one woman, we hooked up a few rare times, who constantly sent me, and everyone else on her list, messages that were not personal.
I realized quickly I was not into what she was sending and just starting ignoring EVERY message she sent.
What was I supposed to do?
Occasionally she'd send me a real one but I never even looked at it because of the countless bullshit texts I get before. And for her to get mad that I didn't respond or get back to her was utterly absurd.
My point is: I know you want to make him laugh, show him fun things, clue him in on your personality and all that BUT you must give him a real reason to look and respond to your message and the must ALWAYS be personal - unless you're married for fifty years or whatever.
Use this technique instead:
Or use my promotion from that page:
OR just sit back and watch the video they've made for you:
Think about WHAT you're sending and if you're giving him every reason to want to get back to you.
Avoid the typical, "What's Up?" - "How's it going?" - things like that, overly emotional complaining texts, and minor updates to your life and you WILL find him getting back to you much more quicker and affectionately too.
7. He's not interested, attracted, or into you enough to respond all that eagerly.
Lots and probably TOO many women think THIS is the answer and yes, sometimes it's true.
In fact - the less a guy is contacting you or pursuing you or doing anything to progress forward, then it's a perfectly valid reason why he's not texting you back quickly or for days at a time.
BUT... if you're positive you're not pushing him away or making lots of mistakes, then please don't constantly go to this reason because you'll only find yourself doing things, and sending more texts that will eventually drive him away.
Keep it all in perspective.
If more than just his texting habits are proving to you his disinterest, then it's certainly time to cut ties and move on.
If YOUR texting and communication habits are causing him to lose interest, then that's fixable.
Those articles will help you determine what's really going on AND perhaps help you fix it too.
I've found - the real world "mostly" transfers to the digital world.
It's a fact I learned when I was terrible at attracting women. I actually believed bring my real world online would fix the problem, but it sadly did not because I was the same person online that I was in person.
Fixing my self and my terribly unattractive way and skills of communication in BOTH realms brought me major success - as it will you too.
So what - he's not interested. He's rejecting you by not responding to your message.
TRUST ME - you WILL get over it...
As long as you don't let him or the thought of him and the reminder of the rejection, NOT failure, rejection, cause you to obsess and TRY to make it all better.
If he's not getting back to you within a reasonable amount of time - it's over...
Read this for more:
"Do NOT text him again twice the normal length of your average silence.
Yes. I made a hard rule of texting. Follow it if you dare.
Twice the normal length of your average silence."
Don't take it personal because it's all just a part of the dating process and you and I both know, rarely ever does a person go though life without being rejected at least once.
If you let him or this experience take over your life and thinking process - then you're in for a very real problem which will take much longer to fix.
When this is becoming the "norm" for you - meaning it's happening all too often then yes - it's time to CHANGE but it's worth it - it really really really really really really is...
Because I've been there myself and being a guy, changing means admitting not being a man - so it wasn't easy to admit and find help, but I did, and have never looked back as I write this with my now amazing and beautiful wife and incredible life I get to live everyday because... of that change I made long ago.
I'm not in the position to help you personally with these mostly skills of attraction communication and skills problem so check her out, I think you'll like what she has to tell you: (Yeah it's Rori Raye... again!)
Or sign up for her free newsletter - have the relationship you want, and eventually, she'll tell you all about it herself.
Okay - the past is in the past, time to move on to the next reason why he's not, or couldn't text you back and cool enough - this one is about HIM...
8. He thinks texting you back too quickly goes against the "dating code."
This happens WAY too often.
They actually think and believe,
"If I text her back too quickly, she'll think I'm easy OR I don't have a life OR that I'm way too into her and then she won't want me anymore BUT ...
If I wait a perfect amount of time she'll think I'm hard to get, a busy wanted man, a man who is indifferent and not EASY.
And then, she'll be all over me.
I'll get to make the rules.
She'll be putty in my hands and hopefully turn the putty in my pants - because I'm a wussbag who thinks DATING RULES get me laid which makes my penis flaccid - will turn into the rock ALL women want!"
Yes - there's a VERY real possibility he's not getting back to your message because he's into all the dating rules AND his self-esteem and belief in his ability to attract a great woman like you is entirely dependent on those rules.
So, it's not always his FAULT his confidence is low - but it's just where it is and actually, for a rare few - following a rule just might stop him from turning into a needy desperate guy you WILL eventually stop texting anyways.
There's not much more to say here - however if you think he's a type two guy, this reason could be why he's not texting back which is certainly not the worst thing because...
At least trying to DO something to attract you, not the right thing, but it certainly means his silence is a clear sign he's int you... a lot!
9. It ALWAYS turns into a phone call!
I have not seen many mention this one but it belongs here because it's a more common occurrence than you might suspect.
Here's how it went for me.
Every time I'd get a text, it was a check to see if I'm available, and less than a minute later, my phone rings.
Instead of just calling or asking if I was free to chat on the phone, I'd get a "hello" text or something like that and if I answered, boom, the phone call.
It didn't take me or lots of guys to figure this one out and so, unless we felt like talking or was actually available for talk, we look at the message and IGNORE to avoid the inevitable phone conversation.
Now I'm not sure how often this happens but it belongs on this list because if you're always following through your text with a call, and suddenly he's not responding - this is why.
Sure - not a biggie, which is good compared to some of the reasons on this list.
So rest assured - it's not you or him or anything strange, he just knows what's up and either doesn't want to talk or can not, not getting back to you is HIS way of telling you - I'm not available at the moment.
Sure, it WOULD be easier to just tell you that but if you know guys like I do, they believe it's NEVER that simple because they sense, something more is coming. It's never just a quick text back, "Sorry, busy right now." and that's the end of it.
If the pattern you have with the guy you're texting seems to linger or feel to him like it's a beginning and never an end, sooner or later - he'll just stop getting back to you.
10. He's driving somewhere.
Sometime the reason is simple. It's not safe. He doesn't check his phone every time it buzzes.
Especially when he's driving.
Give it some time before you write him off because we all probably spend too much time in our cars.
You can probably see the list is winding down BUT it's not all about that, there's something more to this list than just a bunch of reasons.
It's the over-thinking. The "what ifs" caused by a man's silence that can make you think the worst - or become upset - and do things outside your normal quiet mind.
Sometimes the answer is, just this simple.
He doesn't text and drive. Chances are he forgot a message was received after he got to his destination OR read it and just went about his business.
Hopefully your case is something is simple as this and you'll hear from him soon enough.
11. His phone battery went dead or is always lost.
We all know men and women where this happens way too often to them.
And yes - I understand this reason is unlikely to happen more than once but hey, you never know, right? So it's good to explore the possibility.
Their phone is always broken. They always lose it. Their batteries is always dead because they just don't seem to get - charge it whenever you can.
Think about "who" you're texting and how responsible he is with certain things in his life.
You may cherish your phone more than him. You may carry extra batteries or have some charger hidden deep in your bag, but most men I know will never have a charger hanging from their back pockets. Okay I have know a few but again - you know him fairly well so that's for you to decide.
I also know men who constantly leave their phones and are in a perpetual state of "getting back their contact list" because they just don't pay attention to the details of their phone life or much of anything else...
Which certainly includes texting back a woman or friend or even a relative in a reasonable amount of time.
12. He was showering, in the bathroom or busy doing whatever he likes to do.
Two facts about guys - the good and the gross... We shower. Some longer than others. Mine lasts about a half an hour AND we have to use the bathroom.
This reason isn't mainly about using the bathroom - it's also about being away from our phones or failing to check them for hours.
When this happens, a few more messages come through and YOUR message might be buried in the mix. Making them all too easily missed.
Try to imagine and go there just how many possibilities there are as to why a guy would not instantly text you back, and I believe you'll quiet your mind and make the overall dating experience much more enjoyable AND far less stressful.
The point is:
Men tend to focus on one thing at a time - and sometimes the hours pass and things are forgotten along the way. Especially a few messages and definitely when several have come through on top of yours.
The conclusion... and a great ending:
The list above is not all inclusive. There may be endless reasons as to why a guy will not text you back.
Some of them are about his forgetfulness, being busy, not paying attention to his life and the more important details in it.
A man's focus tends to switch here and there and change quite often throughout the days and weeks - sometimes it will be on you and he'll text back quickly, other times it won't.
As quoted from a newsletter I sent out about a man loving you or not,
#2: Does he make you "A" priority in his life?
"A" priority and not "THE" priority.
Actions speak louder than words and it’s hard to lie with your body.
You should be in his top 3 priories.
Men often have a few priorities and they can shift from day to day and so on.
Examples of making you a priority can be something as simple as starting you car, making dinner, going to a function he hates because you like it.
Marking out time on his schedule for you.
Giving you the occasional little gift "just because" is also a sign he's making you a priority.
Not all the time – BUT If he loves you he’ll make you his number one priority at least sometimes.
Notice the second highlighted item and relate it to texting:
A man who truly cares will make you a priority in his life but he will also have another priorities too which means sometimes he's not getting back to you.
AND I can practically guarantee, texting is rarely, if ever one of them for a mature man.
Other items on the list are related to him seeing another woman, rightfully or not.
Maybe you're the other person, maybe he's sleeping with someone else and you're texting at a more probable time for that to happen.
Yeah - this one's not good but I do believe with a little research, you'll have the answer you're looking which could lead to either closure or figuring out a way to get him to ELIMINATE his other dates.
A few items on the list can be classified as a response to how, what, and when you're texting him.
Maybe he's following some dating rule, maybe he thinks you're playing a game, maybe it's a cause/effect where he knows or believes texting you back will only mean something more - than just a text.
In these cases - your texting habits with him and all men I suppose, could be altered to assure a response and an attractive one too.
Here's my two-text routine which can work for you:
Or use my promotion from that page:
OR just sit back and watch the video they've made for you:
If you've been together for a while and it feels like the romance is going down and that's why he's not getting back to you, try this:
Hey - just trying to give you some real options with easy solutions to ALL your texting issues you're going through with guys.
So, it's either partly you, partly him, I highly doubt it's 100% either one of you all the time. That would be wrong and overly presumptuous.
Lastly - the dreaded close to FINAL ANSWER:
He's just not that interested and attracted to you enough to encourage him to text you back as quickly or as much as you'd like.
Yes - that's the "easy-out" answer, and it's probably the more common reason you'll find in your searches.
Sometimes, it's right.
Sometimes it's his way of getting rid of you in the less-than-mature way.
Rejections do happen.
It's not the end of the world and I'm confident you know that so why let it get to you and keep you hung up waiting for closure when it may never happen.
GET to dating another man or several quickly and you'll find out soon enough just how INTO he was or still is - problem solved.
As per my suggestion above - Circular Dating DOES WORK!
Or sign up to the producer, Rori Raye's free newsletter - have the relationship you want, and eventually, she'll tell you all about it herself.
Thanks for making it this far - I DO appreciate it.
Don't forget the FULL list of 49 reasons of why a guy will go silent, ignore you, or not text you back are in my online membership book and in the kindle version on amazon.
Not only do you get that list but also the chapters on
- "is it you?"
- "Are you causing his silence?"
- "is it him?"
- "Is it a guy thing, an evolutionary problem?"
- "Is it a communication thing based on how men and women talk to each other?"
My chapter on why a man men DOES have to pull away BEFORE he'll ever truly commit to you - thus solving the texting problem forever!
You'll never be left guessing or wondering why he isn't sharing with you, why he isn't opening up to you, why he disappears then comes back again only to leave once more, why he ignores you just when things are going great, and why he seems to randomly and suddenly stop contacting you.